How Did I Miss This One?

Better late than never, I suppose.

Back in April, the Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, said this (emphasis is mine, because it's so outrageous):

I think schools should be open six, seven days a week; eleven, twelve months a year.

Of course he does.

SEVEN days a week of butts in chairs would guarantee a need for more babysitters teachers, more buildings, more pencils, more books, more funding, more more more! Of COURSE this is what he wants.

And he wants them from birth, too (emphasis added):

. . . and $10 million for a Promise Neighborhoods initiative that would promote comprehensive programs that provide the support children need to achieve success from birth through college and beyond.

From birth . . . and beyond!

Of course.

I'd like to know what those poor kids ever did to him to warrant such vile consideration.

And not just those poor kids--MY poor kids. Because he'd try to get them, too, if he could. I cannot even begin to fathom what my life and theirs would be like if they were stuck in a school, away from my influence, six or seven days a week for 11 months out of the year. Kind of raises my blood pressure, actually.

This is exactly why it is vitally important to keep the Feds OUT of homeschooling. Yes, I know they'll work their influence on the state legislatures, and states might alter their home study and private school regulations under pressure from the Feds. But this is where the red tape of bureaucracy works for us instead of against. It will take time for such changes to take effect and we will have time to fight this kind of crazy nonsense.

The Juggle Struggle

In the comments of my recent post about how I solve my own problems with the kids, Amy asked two questions:

Do you ever feel guilty for working on the computer?

And:

How do you determine what time is all yours, and what time you will spend focused on the kids?

I responded very briefly in the comments with:

I don't feel guilty about doing my work, whatever that may be--writing or reading or even cleaning up or reorganizing. Everyone seems to have a healthy respect for WORK, and they know they shouldn't interrupt someone while they are working. Doesn't mean they always refrain--just means they know they shouldn't!

Because they are small though, I try to do schedule my work during the times when it is easier for them to do what I need them to. So, I don't sit down at 5:30pm (aka The Witching Hour) and expect I'll get much writing done.

But I wanted to write more about this, because it's something I struggle with. I Struggle with The Juggle.


My Main Job is Mommy

It is difficult to get a great many things finished--writing, thinking, laundry, to name just a few tasks--when kids are around. And this has been one of the hardest things (possibly THE hardest thing) for a typical Type A planner task-oriented person such as myself to come to grips with as a stay-at-home parent. Because when kids are around, there's a whole bunch of interruptions and unpredictability. You just never know when someone's going to blow out a diaper or throw up or crack his head open or start screaming at her brother or need to show you a drawing or need to pontificate about the American Revolution. At least, I never know when that's likely to happen, so I've learned to expect it at any time.

Back when I had a regular job, it was also often difficult to complete a task from start to finish, due to all of the interruptions and unpredictability, sure. I had meetings to attend and crises to handle and unexpected phone calls and at the end of a work day, there were many tasks not completed, left for me to face the following day. But generally, in a typical work day, I completed something. I made that phone call, or ran that meeting, or filled out an expense report, or something.

There are days on the Mommy Job when I feel like I haven't completed ANYTHING. Now this is, of course, not exactly true, because let's be honest--if we're all basically in one piece at the end of each day, then that's a testament to my productivity, yes? So I complete Mommy-related tasks all day long--diapers changed, questions answered (or discussed at least), hugs given. A typical day on the Mommy Job.


Making Time for Non-Mommy Work, too

But sometimes I'm left frustrated because I haven't completed anything ELSE--any Jenn tasks. Too many of those kinds of days turns Generally Genial Jenn into Mean Monster Mommy. Since I am happier (and therefore much easier to live with) when I get to complete Jenn Work, too, I do my very best to ensure that I'm able to do that most days.

The most important thing I've done in order to be successful at completing Jenn Work has been to revise my expectations--of myself and of the kids. Take writing on the blog here--I am happy when I do it. It's good for my mental state. I really enjoy writing something thoughtful and reading the comments that people make and thinking them over. It's so much fun, and has become integral to my happiness.

However, it is not realistic for me to expect that I can complete and publish more than one or two super-thoughtful blog posts every week. I know this now! Sometimes I exceed that number of posts; many times I don't. Yes, I would love to write something semi-brilliant every day, but I just don't have that kind of time. Some moms could do this--but I can't. I have accepted this fact and am much more content with my writing output.

Before I figured this out, though, I tended to get really cranky when someone interrupted my writing. Like REALLY cranky. I felt resentful, irritated, hindered, stunted. And that made me not want to do my other job, my Mommy Job. Or made it next-to-impossible to do it well.

Similarly, I had to let get go of the idea that I could complete ANY task from start to finish. Seriously. When I begin to do something, I must consciously say to myself "I may not get this done, but that's okay. At least I'll get it started." Those of you Type B people may be bewildered by this, but it BOTHERS me to have things half-finished. Like it actually makes me itch or ache or something.

When I take the time to remind myself that it's entirely possible that I will NOT get to finish putting stamps on just two outgoing pieces of mail, let alone be able to stand up and go out and put them in the mailbox, let alone be able to put the part of the bill I need to save in the filing cabinet--then I'm in a much better frame of mind for when I'm not able to complete that small little "put stamps on two pieces of mail" task.


Respect for Work

The older kids do understand about Work, and that really helps matters. They understand that they have Work and that I have Work and that Brendan has Work. They know that when someone is working that you should not interrupt them. They know that our grownup work happens on the computer quite a bit and that when I'm looking at my computer, then my head is filled up with my thoughts and ideas, which makes it hard for me to hear their words. They know that some work brings income and that some work makes things run more smoothly around here (like paying bills). Some work is hard and some work is easy.

Because we respect them when they are working by giving them space and not interrupting them unnecessarily (and doing it gently when it is necessary), they typically pay us the same respect in kind. But they are kids and make mistakes and interrupt me. It happens. I try to maintain realistic expectations about when they can and will be able to handle, and help them think of ways to handle themselves if they do need to interrupt me.

And now I'm teaching Sean about Work. Just now, he crawled on top of a picture Morgan was drawing. I offered him a piece of paper and a pen and said "Sean, that's Morgan's work. You want to do some work, too. Here's your pen and paper. Come on!" And he actually came over! I will only need to repeat that scene approximately 5 million more times before he truly gets the idea. :o)


Daily Logistics

We still ask them every day--sometimes several times a day--the question: "What is your work going to be today?" It gets them thinking and planning and scheming and lets me know what their expectations might be for the day. If somebody says "I'm planning to go to the playground," then I can try to make that happen, or set their expectations appropriately if it can't happen for some reason.

And I do try my best to accommodate reasonable requests. My work is important--and so is theirs. No, we can't go to Nonnie's house every day because she lives all the way in Chicago. But we can make sure to take a walk around the pond, or to watch a particular movie, or make headway on a certain project, or read a particular book. Yes, I CAN do those things, and it's easier for me to work those kinds of things into my daily plans if I know about them ahead of time.

Our daily work discussion also provides me with an opportunity for me to tell them what MY work is going to be. I will say "I'm planning to write today." or "We need to run to the bank to deposit a cabin check today." Later on, when I'm trying to get people to get in the car to run errands, it's easier for me if I say "Oh remember? This was one of the things I had to do today. We talked about it this morning." It may not make the kid get 100% on the plan, but at least it's not coming out of nowhere.

I'm still working out some of the logistics of balancing Jenn Work with Mommy Work. It changes from day to day, depending how people's moods and their developmental needs. And it's definitely more challenging when you add more children to the equation. Exponential is a word that hops to mind. Also, each kid's particular developmental stage really affects my ability to do Jenn Work. New babies require lots of time, but much of that is sitting down. Toddlers require lots of time--running around! Preschoolers and grade-schoolers require talking time and chauffeur time. At least my life isn't boring!


The Juggle

For me, juggling the Mommy stuff and the Jenn stuff comes down to setting appropriate expectations, both for myself and for the kids. When things get really lopsided, that's when I get cranky. If I haven't had time to write or read something for myself in a while, and it's just building up inside me, I'll talk to Brendan and we'll work out a time for him to take The People for a few hours, usually on a weekend. We also have Date Nights, about once a week or every other week, so that we can talk to each other in complete sentences. :o)

If, on the other hand, I've been too busy with Jenn Work, the kids get really cranky! When they simply can't seem to be able to leave me alone for a second, that's my signal to re-evaluate what I'm doing. Sometimes, I will realize belatedly that I've said "Just a minute" several times, and those minutes have really stretched out beyond their endurance. When that happens, I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt, because I have been neglecting my Mommy Work. So I stop what I'm doing and get going on that Work, which of course, is my primary job and generally is my higher priority and obligation.

And in this back-and-forth way, I juggle juggle juggle. :o) Generally, I'm pretty successful, but I'm always open to suggestions for other ways to manage this issue. Thoughts?

I started this post 10 days ago and was interrupted in the writing of it approximately 17 zillion times. And that's okay. :o)

Just Ask!

We attended a birthday party for a 2 year old last night. It was fun--although the bugs! Major downside of the drought recovery.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a very minor issue I encountered while we were there. One of the party activities for the children was to decorate their cake plates with stickers. Ryan was one of the oldest kids there--most of the kids were toddlers, so this project was great fun for them. But Ryan took this activity Very Seriously (to my amazement), and approached me almost in tears, because the Birthday Boy had grabbed his plate away from him.

I went over to the Birthday Boy and said, "Oh, this plate is Ryan's." And then I tried to take it out of his hands. Now why did I do this? Because in my head, I was still viewing this child as "too young to understand and/or be reasoned with."

Well of course he didn't let go, because what do toddlers do when someone tries to remove something from their sticky little fingers? They hold on tighter. Duh. I have had two 2 year olds myself!

I came to my senses before allowing this pointless tug-of-war to go on, and let go of the plate. Then I looked at the Birthday Boy and said, "This plate is Ryan's. Will you give it back to him please?"

And you know what he did? He gave it back to Ryan. All I had to do is ask.

I'm still kind of shocked at my own behavior, honestly. What was I thinking? Why would grabbing the plate out of his hand be the right thing to do? Now it might have come to that, had he refused to relinquish the plate, sure. But that shouldn't be the out-of-the-gate approach, should it? And really, I completely missed an opportunity to help Ryan ask the Birthday Boy for the plate back himself.

Moral of the Story: First, give kids a chance to succeed. You might just be surprised. :o)

Not Doing it for the Children

Couldn't have said it better myself. Ari Armstrong provided a link to this on Twitter. The outgoing NEA General Counsel tells it like it is:

POWER. He's right--it's about POWER.

Neat, huh?

Some Days I Struggle

Merriam-Webster online provides two definitions of the word obstinate:

1 : perversely adhering to an opinion, purpose, or course in spite of reason, arguments, or persuasion <obstinate resistance to change>

2 : not easily subdued, remedied, or removed <obstinate fever>

I have an OBSTINATE little girl.

"Really?" you may be thinking to yourself, "Not the sweetie-honey-cutie-honey-sweetie!" (That is her Daddy's favorite nickname for her--it's a Cutie Sandwich you see, with honey spread on both sides and sandwiched in between some sweeties. Yes, they are obnoxiously lovey with each other. :o) )

And I am here to tell you YES. Yes, the sweetie-honey-cutie-honey-sweetie. Oh hell yes.

Even many of you who know Miss Morgan in Real Life may not have seen this side of her very often, if at all. She's generally quite easy-going, about 99% of the time. But wow. That other 1% of the time--she is IMMOVABLE. Obstinate. And it's been very hard for me to keep my patience with her lately.

So this morning, I asked myself this question: What do I know about this child? And came up with the following:

• She is focused, especially inwardly;

• is very smart;

• loves to help out;

• wants to be left alone when she is thinking something over;

• wants to be left alone when she is sad or angry;

• has a good sense of humor;

• is easily overwhelmed by too much information;

• it's very difficult to break her outside of herself sometimes to get her full attention;

• yet pays attention when I least expect it;

• and she communicates a fair amount, but I suspect there is much more going on in her head than she chooses to let on.

Then I tried to find a tool in my Parenting Toolbox that would help me communicate and solve problems more effectively with her.

She doesn't care for role playing, because I think it's too private or intense for her. She doesn't like to discuss problems or solutions for more than a few minutes. She seems to want to get any discussions over with as quickly as possible so she can return to her own thoughts and pursuits. Distraction or changing the subject is out, because she is way too persistent for that.

I think what I need to work on is boiling down MY words (oh so hard to do!) to just the bare essentials. I need to ask her for her ideas, and I need to use more "playful parenting" to take advantage of her sense of humor (now where did I put that book?). And what I mostly need to remember is that she actually can't hear me sometimes and that the best way to get her attention is to touch her and get in her field of vision, and then just wait.

And when she's done being obstinate, she goes right back into Cutie Sandwich mode. I need to remember that, too! :o)

This post has been brought to you by one very frustrating week.

Starting Off Year 5 with a Bit of a Lull....

Thanks for all of my Blogiversary wishes! (I like that spelling best, I think.) Celebrating 4 years on the blog was just so amazing and wonderful, that I just, you know, stopped blogging entirely for a couple of days!

It wasn't intentional. We've had a busier than usual week--I even went to the grocery store today! Seriously, we spent Tuesday with friends at the pool (fun, but not conducive to blogging) and yesterday at the zoo (a few pics are on my TwitPic account). I think it's important to have fun in 3D Land on occasion, too. And then we had some of those pesky Technical Difficulties, too. Everything appears to be back in working order, though, thanks to my nice hubby. :o)

But that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about writing. I have! I have! I've got thoughts spilling out of my head and have even begun to wake up earlier than the rest of the house so I can have a quiet 30 minutes to myself in which to jot down some of those thoughts. Hoping to get a few hours this weekend to get going on some knock-out posts.

In the meantime, here's a Round Up of Things Going Through My Brain Today:

The latest Objectivist Round Up is at One Reality! It's #104, which if I'm doing the math correctly, means that two full years of this carnival have been brought to a close with this edition. Next week will be the official beginning of Year Three of the Round Up. Cool.

The latest Living with Food Allergies edition will be up at Go Dairy Free (I know it says One Frugal Foodie, but Blog Carnival does not seem to like it when I change that name--sorry Alisa!).

I'm reeeaaalllllyyy wishing I could have attended OCON this year. Here's a post from C. August, who is attending his first conference, that will give you a glimpse into what the experience is like. The event will be in Las Vegas next year, and Fort Lauderdale in 2011. I'm definitely in for the Florida event, and hoping we can swing next year. We'll see. In the meantime, I'm really enjoying those attendees who are tweeting their experiences using the #OCON tag! Thanks!

Both Stella at ReasonPharm and Gus Van Horn have touched on one of my personal irritations of late: the FDA protecting grown up people from ourselves by simply pulling drugs off the market because some people can't follow directions. Not trying to educate, or make the labels bigger or bright green or something--just banning the drug altogether. This makes me so seriously mad.

I've got more on my mind, but now I need to take care of some People Business (going for our daily walk around the pond for exercise and to look for snakes) and then get down to a bit of writing. I hope!

It's My Blogiversary!

This here blog is 4 years old today!

When I first started the blog, Morgan was a little bitty baby and Ryan was only three. I've been blogging for over half of his life! Mr. Sean, of course, wasn't even on the horizon.

I started the blog for a couple of reasons. I wanted to have a way to capture some of our Moments--funny things the kids said or did, or how I was feeling about being a Career Mommy.

I also wanted to be able to talk to other grownups during the day. I love my little companions, but sometimes--especially back then--our conversations tended to hover around the same topics and were very repetitive. I enjoy talking about dogs and army plans, really, but sometimes I get a kick out of talking to adults, too. So writing on the blog, even if nobody (besides my sister!) read it, was a way for me to carry on at least my side of an adult conversation.

My blog still fulfills those needs for me, four years later. I imagine that when the kids are older, they might look back on what I wrote about their early days and laugh or cringe or at least be interested. And I will remember what it was like to be in the Mommy trenches.

However, the blog has developed into more than just an outlet for my daily thoughts about mommydom and the kids. My writing on the blog had ebbed and flowed without real direction until I joined OBloggers. So many things changed after I joined that group. I have been able to get to e-know many other bloggers who share my philosophical views. Joining that group made me eager to write posts of more substance, to share a bit more about what I think and why, and to enter into the Great Bloggy Conversation, if you will. So if I haven't said it before, thank you, Diana, for starting OBloggers!

In the last two years, my blog really started to take off in ways I never imagined, changing from something that was small and probably not much of interest to anyone outside my family and close friends, into something slightly less small with wider appeal and Readers! Lots of Readers from all over the place. :o)

I became the second administrator of the Objectivist Round Up blog carnival and was inspired to create the Living with Food Allergies blog carnival, for reasons near and dear to my heart. I began to read and comment on homeschooling and parenting blogs of all flavors and philosophies. I even occasionally ranted branched out into politics and current events (which resulted in my being asked to record that statement at the April Tea Party in Atlanta).

Yes, I still write about The People, because they are, of course, my primary job and I also still sometimes need a break from them to "talk" to other grownups. But even my writing about them has changed, in ways that I hope they will one day appreciate.

In the last year, I've made a concerted effort to write more in depth about parenting issues and my successes (and failures) in parenting. I am especially proud of my parenting posts, because my job is so very important to me. It's critical that I am able to articulate how positive discipline as a parenting strategy complements Objectivism--the philosophic ideals that are crucial to my happiness--so that I can keep getting better all the time and become happier, too. Which is crucial to my family's happiness, because you know the saying: "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" :o)

Writing on the blog has opened up many new ideas and possibilities for the future. Because I won't always be a Career Mommy--if I do it right, I'll work myself out of the job. And I plan to do it right.

So I'm happy to be doing this bloggy thing, and plan to keep on keeping on for the time being. It's a fun intellectual endeavor and it's good for my mental health. And I can't deny that I'm thrilled to have so many regular readers! If I ever get REALLY famous, I will thank you all on a big stage, like they do at the Oscars. :o)

Until then, THANK YOU for reading and commenting and I'm so looking forward to meeting many of you in person one day.

Happy Independence Day!

I hope you have some fun things lined up this weekend. We sure do--friends, fireworks, and probably some grilling out tomorrow.

We are not participating in a Tea Party this weekend, due to many factors. The original big event that I had planned to attend was unfortunately canceled (for suspiciously flimsy reasons), as many around the country have no doubt heard. The Cobb County Tea Party became our next viable plan, but we ended up not going to that last night for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, they had a silly rule about not allowing protest signs (which could have easily been ignored quite frankly, and probably was, I have little doubt), terrible communication on their website, and an insistence that they were an "educational" event, not a protest. I still don't know what that means.

Because the other event was canceled, there was concern that the numbers showing up to the Cobb County event would be larger than the capacity of the venue, and quite frankly, I didn't want to be out in such a potentially overcrowded disorganized event with the kids, when we Objectivists would not even be able to advertise our presence as a group through the use of signage.

There is another event tonight at the Capitol, a regrouping of sorts from the canceled event. But tonight, we're going to be in Buckhead (north of downtown Atlanta) watching the Lenox Mall fireworks, as we are wont to do. Since 2005, we have taken a hotel room right next to the Mall so that we can enjoy the fireworks at eye level and then not have to fight traffic to get home. We didn't get to go last year, because Sean was only 2 weeks old (I know, Blame the Baby is a popular game around here!) and I was just beginning to get back to normal myself after the surgery. So we don't want to miss our family tradition tonight--not for anything!

I'm a bit disappointed that we won't participate in a Tea Party this weekend. I hope to do so again in the future though. I did spend some time last night (when I would otherwise have been at a Tea Party) working on a bare bones website for the new Atlanta Objectivist Society that I'm trying to get off the ground. I consider that time well-spent in defense of freedom and individual rights. :o)

Sean is going to LOVE the fireworks! And Ryan and Morgan are super-excited. I can't wait myself. I woke up this morning with the Schoolhouse Rock "Fireworks" song going through my head. Here it is:

And here are the lyrics--read them over if you've never done so (emphasis in the original):

Ooh, there's gonna be fireworks (Fireworks!)
On the Fourth of July (red, white, and blue!)
Red, white, and blue fireworks
Like diamonds in the sky. (diamonds in the sky!)
We're gonna shoot the entire works on fireworks
That really show, oh yeah,
We declared our liberty 200 years ago.

Yeah!

In 1776 (fireworks!)
There were fireworks too (red, white, and blue!)
The original colonists,
You know their tempers blew (They really blew!)
Like Thomas Paine once wrote:
It's only common sense (only common sense)
That if a government won't give you your basic rights
You'd better get another government.

And though some people tried to fight it,
Well, a committee was formed to write it:
Benjamin Franklin, Philip Livingston,
John Adams, Roger Sherman, Thomas Jefferson,
They got it done (Oh yes they did!)
The Declaration, uh-huh-huh,
The Declaration of Independence (Oh yeah!)
In seventeen hundred seventy six (Right on!)
The Continental Congress said that we were free (We're free!)
Said we had the right of life and liberty,
...And the pursuit of happiness!

Ooh, when England heard the news, (Kerpow!)
They blew their stack (They really blew their cool!)
But the colonists lit the fuse,
There'd be no turning back (no turnin' back!)
They'd had enough of injustice now
But even if it really hurts, oh yeah,
If you don't give us our freedom now
You're gonna see some fireworks!

And on the Fourth of July they signed it
And 56 names underlined it,
And now to honor those first 13 states,
We turn the sky into a birthday cake.
They got it done (Oh yes they did!)
The Declaration, uh-huh-huh,
The Declaration of Independence (Oh yeah!)
In seventeen hundred seventy six (Right on!)
The Continental Congress said that we were free (We're free!)
Said we had the right of life and liberty,
...And the pursuit of happiness!

We hold these truths to be self-evident,
That all men are created equal
And that they are endowed by their creator
With certain inalienable rights.
That among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

And if there's one thing that makes me happy,
Then you know that it's (ooh)
There's gonna be fireworks!

My favorite lyric: "...if a government won't give you your basic rights/You'd better get another government." Now I must take a small issue with the word "give," for rights are not given by the government (a popular misconception to be sure), but rather should be protected by the government.....but it's just such a catchy little lyric, isn't it? :o)

A couple more things before I go. Here's an awesome Independence Day post from a New Zealander about why Independence Day shouldn't be just an American holiday. Loved it!

And I will link to an post I wrote two years ago, about two Revolutionary War Patriots from whom I'm descended: John Hart and Griffith Rutherford. I always take a moment to remember these guys (and the others, too) on the 4th of July.

So enjoy your fireworks tonight, OCON, Tea Party, cookout, whatever you happen to be doing!

And to quote my daughter from earlier: "Happy Birthday to America! YAY!"

They got it done. Right on!

Q & A of the Day

Morgan: "Do we live in North America or South America?"

Me: "North America."

Morgan, visibly relieved: "Whew!"

:D

Upon further questioning, it appears she was under the impression that South America is simply filled up with poisonous frogs and alligators. We explained that lots and lots of people live in South America and seem to like it, too.

She didn't much like hearing that we have alligators in North America (I didn't mention how close we are to Florida, or the Okefenokee Swamp, which is located in our beloved state of Georgia). For all I know, there are poisonous frogs there, too.

FYI, Morgan is now on Need-To-Know status regarding the whereabouts of poisonous frogs in North America, so please don't enlighten her if there are any! (Although I'd be interested to know.)

The Toddler: A Case Study

I think toddlers are the best things ever. Let me count the ways.

They are busy busy busy little creatures, fascinated with destroying exploring their surroundings with their even busier little hands. An example:

Noticing that Mommy seems to put things in and out of the dishwasher a million times a day frequently, the Toddler feels honor-bound to assist. No sooner do the dirty knives go IN, than the Toddler removes them. First IN, then OUT, right?

As Mommy removes the dangerous weapon steak knife from the Toddler's hand, he notices the plates and glasses. Why, what in the world are THOSE doing there? Again, the Toddler seeks to rectify that situation.

As Mommy is loading those plates back into the dishwasher, the Toddler suddenly tunes into the fact that there are lots of soggy food particles stuck to the door of the dishwasher. No worries--the Toddler is on the job! And what a delicious job it is!

Hmmm....now Mommy wants to close the dishwasher door. Your extra-conscientious Toddler will be careful to obstruct Mommy's progress by banging the door with rage, slipping and falling, or the old standby--placing his fingers on the side of the door for optimal smashing.

Yes, this Toddler really keeps Mommy on her toes. :o)

With two older siblings and a growing conceptual awareness, our Toddler has figured out that Big Sis and Big Bro do all kinds of cool things and he ought to hurry up and figure out how to do them, too.

For example: Big Sis and Big Bro bounce all over the place like monkeys, climbing the ottoman and JUMPING high and fast, flying through the air. Who wouldn't want to do that?

The next time Mommy walks into the family room, she is alarmed to find her Toddler standing (STANDING I tell you!) on the arm of the couch, squealing with delight. He is BIG and he is CAPABLE and he IS. (Mommy, on the other hand, is ready for a drink.)

Everything is so brand new to him, exciting and delightful, and the Toddler has become sneaky brave enough to set off in search of adventure in other parts of the house, often neglecting to tell Mommy where he is going. What a thrill it is for Mommy to discover him upstairs or eating cat food or splashing in the potty!

Of course, not every experience is a happy one. Our Toddler often feels frustrated when he is unable to do something that his brain thinks he ought to be able to do.

Sometimes, Mr. Reality lets our intrepid Toddler down, by insisting that A must ever be and remain A. Example: the Toddler is frequently enraged dismayed by the fact that he is not able to stand up in the tub without slipping (face first, of course), or swallow a baseball-sized hunk of chicken without choking. (These are the kinds of mistakes a person only makes once. Or possibly several dozen times.)

Usually, though, the frustrations are Mommy- and Daddy-imposed. The Toddler is just beginning to suspect what his Big Sis and Big Bro have long understood: Mom and Dad are not necessarily on our side in these matters. Even though Mommy and Daddy just spent 99% of his babyhood meeting his needs (which did not conflict with their personal needs, or with their goal of having him survive to adulthood), the Toddler is disappointed (to say the least) to find that Mommy is simply NOT going to allow him to have every little thing he'd like to get his busy little hands on.

Mommy will not let the Toddler play on her computer, or shine the red laser light of her wireless mouse in his eye, or beat the cat with the wireless keyboard. She will not allow him to pull the cat's tail or his sister's hair, or grab things out of Big Brother's hands. She stops his hands from unraveling the toilet paper and pushing the buttons on the amplifier and from undoing the tabs on his diaper. She is forever removing tasty snacks from his mouth, such as dishwasher schmutz, crayons, bugs, dirt, mulch, cat hair, Floor Cake, thumbtacks, paperclips, permanent markers, and bits of bacon from a week ago.

In the face of adversity, this particular model is unique. Big Bro was inclined to express his displeasure vocally, screaming bloody murder when thwarted by Reality and Parent alike. Big Sis had a quieter persistence about her, clinging obstinately to her goal with sticky little fingers, returning and returning to the scene of the crime object of her desire long after Mommy thought she had forgotten all about it.

This Toddler makes it very clear when he is angry by screaming in a way that reminds me powerfully of his dear brother. He doesn't give up, which is very Big Sis-like. He generally flails about in a strange maneuver that looks like he's trying to do a back handspring without using his hands (the resulting head trauma adding injury to insult). He has recently begun to beat things with his fists.

But where this particular Toddler distinguishes himself is in his proactiveness. Upon noticing that Mommy is heading his way in a big hurry, this guy does not merely scream or silently resist. Oh no. His philosophy is of the Carpe Diem style--seize the moment in order to Do More, Be More, Make the Mess Extraordinary--quickly--before Mommy gets there. Playing on the computer? Don't get mad; bang the keys MORE, pull the cord HARDER, make the flow of drool a little STRONGER. If you're going to do the time, then you might as well do the crime. Save those tears and flails for after you've been thwarted.

A Toddler's primary job is pretty simple and straightforward: Never, under any circumstances, allow Mommy a chance to sit down or complete a coherent thought. He excels at this. A+. In other words, he fits right in with the crowd.

Toddlers are amazing little creatures. They are funny and engaged and busy and happy because they are so ALIVE. His new awareness of the world (his brain can form concepts now!) excites him, and drives him to learn more and more and more. When he's awake, he is actively engaged in the process of filling his brain with new experiences and forming new concepts. He can't do this quickly enough.

He is learning to communicate and has figured out the power that comes with being able to share your thoughts and ideas. A point upwards with a "Guh." starts an entire conversation about the continued existence of the ceiling fan. This conversation must be repeated upon entering any room, and revisited every 10 minutes or so. These little "conversations" are the precursors to the Q&A sessions that will happen throughout the years.

He is Mommy's Third Toddler and she can use the wisdom gained from past experience against him. He is her Third; and he can use her distractedness and weariness (she's older now!) against her. Even though they are now sometimes adversaries, they are beginning to be friends. :o)

And for all of the Big Kid things he can now do, the Toddler is still a delicious, soft, giggly, snuggly Baby, who still really needs his Mommy. He needs stroking touches and forehead kisses and bouncing and rocking. So Mommy, though exhausted from being three messes behind him all day long, thinks he is the Best. Thing. Ever.

Objectivist Round Up #103

Welcome to the Independence Day Edition of the Objectivist Round Up!

The Objectivist Round Up is a weekly blog carnival that includes offerings from Objectivist bloggers on a wide variety of topics--from politics to parenting. This edition features many posts relating to Independence Day and the Tea Parties, so I'll start us off with an especially relevant quotation from Ayn Rand (emphasis in the original):

America’s founding ideal was the principle of individual rights. Nothing more—and nothing less. The rest—everything that America achieved, everything she became, everything “noble and just,” and heroic, and great, and unprecedented in human history—was the logical consequence of fidelity to that one principle. The first consequence was the principle of political freedom, i.e., an individual’s freedom from physical compulsion, coercion or interference by the government. The next was the economic implementation of political freedom: the system of capitalism.

From "A Preview," The Ayn Rand Letter, I, 24, 5.

Individual Rights. Our culture and our politicians have strayed from this idea, and we are all suffering the consequences. Lovers of liberty all across America should be shouting those words, over and over, every chance we get, in any venue we can. And I think this blog carnival is but one way in which we encourage people to think about this idea, what it really means, what we have lost, and how best to get it back.

Our Founders pledged their lives, fortunes and sacred honor for an idea. And that idea was NOT the Nanny State. As author and carnival contributor Ed Cline says at the conclusion of his post "The New Sons of Liberty" (the first selection below):

All we can do for now is keep on arguing, talking, writing, and protesting, to get as many people on our side as possible. To paraphrase Rand, by fighting for our future, we are living it now. For the moment, this is all that is within our power to do.

Long Live Lady Liberty!

To which I say: "Hear, Hear!" And now, without further ado, the 103rd edition of the Objectivist Round Up!


Independence Day & the Tea Parties

Edward Cline presents The New Sons of Liberty posted at The Rule of Reason, saying, "A good friend wrote me about the speed with which the government is erasing freedom and establishing a fascist regime, and the despair this phenomenon can cause: 'If presented with an existential crisis, I don‘t see a modern day Sons of Liberty around to fight for liberty.'

I will reply that we are the new Sons of Liberty."

Grant Jones presents Patrick Henry Lit the Fuse posted at The Dougout.

Adam Reed presents Sunk With The Tea posted at Born to Identify, saying, "The decision of some Objectivists to support, and to participate in, the "Tea Party Movement" has come to exactly the end that Ayn Rand predicted for such efforts."

Daniel presents Art Antidote for the Apathetic posted at The Nearby Pen, saying, "Here's a poem by Edgar A. Guest that is sure to rekindle any waning fires." [Very inspiring!--RJ]

Grant Jones presents Charles B. MacDonald: Company Commander posted at The Dougout2. [An inspiring story of a war hero.--RJ]

Politics & Current Events

Doug presents Time to Stand Up To North Korea posted at Dark Waters Blogs.

Non Talbot Wels presents Massive Legislation Based On Junk Science posted at The Undercurrent, saying, "The massive Cap and Trade bill recently passed by the House fails to consider both the scientific evidence against man-made global warming and the impact that such controls will have our technological and industrial civilization."

Grant Jones presents Feast of Fools: Washington Style posted at The Dougout.

Michael Labeit presents On Honduras, Overthrowing Governments, and My First "Coup" posted at Philosophical Mortician, saying, "Thoughts on a situation I just fled from."

C. August presents Central Planners posted at Titanic Deck Chairs. [Or, "Calling a Spade a Spade."--RJ]

Gus Van Horn presents On the Sly, if at All posted at Gus Van Horn, saying, "Or: How to achieve poverty through "largesse."

Healthcare

Jared Rhoads presents The Lucidicus Project posted at The Lucidicus Project, saying, "If the proposed public option for health insurance becomes law, then we may as well have Fannie Mae run it."

Ari Armstrong presents Reject Political Control of Health Care posted at FreeColorado.com, saying, "Problems with health care resulted from political interference, not any free market, as Obama alleged."

Law

Burgess Laughlin presents What is Objective Law? posted at Making Progress, saying, "In this very brief article, guest writer Stephen Plafker, Ph.D. and J.D., draws attention to an idea that can revolutionize our society: law that is objective in origin and objective in statement, thus creating a social condition that enables rational men and women to pursue lives that are moral and happy."

Finance

Ryan Krause presents Shabbos Banker posted at The Money Speech, saying, "When religion meets finance, the result is so ridiculous, you just have to laugh."

Parenting and Education

Rational Jenn presents More Problem-Solving with the Kids posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "This is a follow up piece to my previous carnival submission 'A Little Bit about my Day.' I write about how I use the same problem-solving techniques to work through disagreements and conflicts that arise between the kids and ME."

John Drake presents Do you want to be a dad? posted at Try Reason!, saying, "Some quick thoughts about being a dad."

Peter Cresswell presents Montessori course kicks off in Mt Eden posted at Not PC, saying, "New Zealand's first genuine Montessori teacher training course - an essential tool for cultural change - has just opened. Time to celebrate!"

Romantic Relationships

Megan presents Why Get Married? posted at Erosophia, saying, "This post is a reflection on the value of marriage for human happiness in the context of the author's upcoming wedding." [Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!--RJ]

That concludes this week's edition. One Reality will be next week's host.

Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form. The carnival is published every Thursday, and the deadline is always 11pm Eastern time the Wednesday before the publication date.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Technorati tags:

objectivist round up, blog carnival.

Words I Like

Do some words just resonate with your soul more than others? Here are some of my favorite words ever, mostly because they are fun to pronounce:

• Archipelago

• Concatenation

• Discombobulate

• Cacophony

• Perturbation

What are some of your favorite words?

This post has been brought to you by procrastination.

My LTE about Healthcare

Hey! My letter to the editor was published today in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution! I was actually about to just post it to the blog anyway, because I figured it didn't actually make it in the paper. (I know sometimes they have space issues, or just change their minds.) Am I glad that I double-checked the AJC website!

I think the AJC still requires registration to get into their website, so here's the text of my letter (the first one):

Government caused disparity in insurance

“Individual coverage frustrates Georgians” (News, June 21) ignores the fundamental reason for disparity between employer-provided group health insurance and private individual health insurance: government interference. It is not “economies of scale” or having an HR department to advocate on an employee’s behalf that account for the fact that group health insurance offers coverage with greater options and breadth than individual plans.

From ERISA laws, to the creation of HMOs to mandated employer-provided coverage, to COBRA and HIPAA laws, actions taken by the federal government are responsible for creating this inequity in the marketplace, by eliminating a market in which companies are free to compete.

As insurance companies have been forced to tailor their group products to the government’s demands, they have offset the costs of government compliance in the only other area of their businesses where they are freer to make actual business decisions —- individual health plans.

The only solution is to free insurance companies, employers and private citizens like me from the shackles of regulations.

They did a little tweaking but it's mostly the same as the piece I submitted. I added the line breaks above, because it was printed in the paper as one paragraph. Guess I'm used to blog-style publishing, with lots of line breaks; it looked weird to me as one paragraph.

Here's a link to the original piece "Individual coverage frustrates Georgians." In case you're registered.

So. There it is. I'm very pleased about this, because it was very interesting and rather fun to write (even though the original article irked me). And also it was fun to write about something other than my usual (though beloved!) topics. :o)

It was challenging to write this in a more formal style than I do on the blog--but it was an enjoyable challenge. And it was surprising to me how l-o-n-g it took me to compose that little thing. I enjoy writing--no, scratch that. I enjoy having completed well-written pieces. I do not enjoy the process of writing quite as much. It's "fun" in the hard-working, slightly painful sense of the word "fun." Do any of you regular bloggers suffer from such a dilemma?

I'll probably do it again. :o)

Mini LinkFest

Howdy! Just wanted to let you know that my Homeschool Wrap Up post was included in the latest edition of the Homeschool Showcase, found at Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers! (Still the best name for a homeschooling blog ever, IMO.) Thanks to Kris for including me.

Also, I'm super excited that our cabin has been renting pretty steadily this summer! We're using the same property managers as last year, but they've changed their name and website, so things might look a bit different to you if it's been a while since you've visited their site. It's our third rental season, and we had our best June ever. We've only got a weekly rental booked so far for July, but we don't seem to book too far in advance. I'm hoping to see more bookings for July here pretty soon. Anyway, yay!

Completely off the subject: another OBlogger recently asked about using ShareThis or AddThis on his blog. I haven't seen any responses yet, but I've wondering about how to use these, too. Can't seem to figure out where in my template the code goes so I can put a button after a post. Thoughts?

Hm. I sure did manage to cram in quite a few links into a short(ish) post, didn't I?

That's it for now. I'm working on a follow up to the homeschool post, which I hope to have ready by tomorrow. Unfortunately I have all of these other grownup mature adult responsibilities that keep getting in the way of my writing--such as laundry, cleaning up the house, and working with for The People.

In the meantime, enjoy this Picture of the Day of Ryan perusing one of his favorite DK books about the American Revolution. It was a thrillingly poignant sight to behold!

Good Things

We had the best day! Here's a Good Things Round Up:

Relaxing

The kids and I lounged around this morning, and watched Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?. They liked it pretty well, although it wasn't as well done as I remembered. (Yes, Brendan and I used to watch it--in college!) We had a lovely, low-key morning.


A Knock at the Door

As I was contemplating what we should eat for lunch and how to spend the rest of the day, someone knocked on the door. I assumed it was one of the boys from next door wanting to play, so I sent Ryan to answer the door.

Nope--wasn't their friend--it was my brother-in-law. You know--the one who lives in Florida, which isn't exactly close to Atlanta. Turns out he had spent the weekend with friends not too far away and rearranged his return home so that he could come play with us today!

The kids were so casual about it. "Oh hey, it's Uncle B." Once we all got over the surprise of it--it was weird for a little bit, seeing him just sitting on my couch--we called Brendan and made him come home.


Fun and Games

We went out to lunch, and then B. and Brendan took the Big Kids to the pool for a while. (I stayed behind with the Napster.) There was also ballet and taekwondo and walking demos for Uncle B's benefit, lots and lots and lots of talking, some pictures with the kids, a rousing game of RISK, oohing and aahing of a general nature, and lots of silliness and laughter.

Uncle B had to leave around 5:30 to make his flight--but the fun didn't stop there! To top off this super fun day, it was babysitter night, so Brendan and I went out to dinner. :o)


Talk about a wonderful way to avoid laundry! I have very awesome in-laws and we're ALL big fans of Uncle B around here. :o) We've decided to make it a regular thing. Uncle B is now required, expected!, to come for surprise visits very often.

I won't know what to do with myself tomorrow when I have to catch up on all of the laundry and cleaning and stuff!