On Perspective, Owning Small Businesses, and Procrastination

Among the lessons I have learned in the past week:

• Never surprise your mortgage company with surprising information. 

• Oh, and don't be surprised if your mortgage company pretends that you have surprised them with surprising information that you have completely, fully, and honestly disclosed since, you know, the first day you ever called them up to inquire about a mortgage.

Corollaries to these lessons:

• Do not put an offer on a home in January because then everyone will want your taxes for the prior year signed, sealed, and delivered before it's actually humanly possible.

• Also, do not be foolish enough to own a small business (let alone TWO), and then put in an offer on a home in January, because then everyone will want your taxes for both businesses for the prior year signed, sealed, and delivered before it's actually humanly possible.

• Consider not owning small businesses in the future, as owning such will cause mortgage companies to act all surprised that you have the nerve to do this, even though you were certainly completely, fully, and honestly upfront about the owning of such entities from the very first day you ever called them up to inquire about a mortgage.

Also, perspective is a lovely thing. Struggling with mortgage companies and dealing with the possibility that your house deal might not go through is difficult and No Fun, but not life-threatening or anything. Life goes on.

Things have calmed down and it looks like we will survive this process and get the house we want. Yay! So now I am looking at a future in which we close in less than a month and move in about six weeks.

If you don't see me for a while, you may assume that I am packing availing myself of non-blogging procrastination opportunities.

In Which I Wade Into It

Note to non-Objectivist friends and family--if you have questions about this post, ask me about it in person and I'll try to explain. And please feel free to move on by. PLEASE.

Normally, I don't wade into controversies and debates among Objectivists, at least not online. I prefer to discuss such matters in person. It's not that I don't have opinions on recent topics of debate (recent meaning, over the past couple of years). I do. I have lots of opinions about many things, as regular readers of this blog should well be aware. :)

Generally, I choose not to spend my time sharing and/or discussing and/or debating such matters with people on the internets. It is not a good use of my time usually. And I am ever-mindful of the fact that non-Objectivist spectators are watching and forming opinions about Objectivists, and Objectivism, based on what they see on the internet. This stresses me out because many of these disagreements turn ugly and are full of accusations and pointless bickering (on both sides, even among those I end up agreeing with). I know newbies and Objectivist-curious folks are turned off by this. Hell, I'm turned off by this.

It just occured to me that one of the reasons I rarely engage in this online stuff is that my day job is full of ugly accusations and pointless bickering already, so I usually get my fill of it. And I have little enough patience for this stuff with my children--but I especially have no patience for this kind of stuff from grownups.

Okay. Here the wading begins. The first thing I will do is point you to Diana's post on the matter, which contains all of the relevant links. If you are aware of this already, you've no doubt read this excellent post.

About watchmen: Here's a post about the role of watchmen in a movement. I need to think about this more, but I don't have a problem with this idea. In fact, if it weren't for excellent posts by other Objectivists, namely Diana and Paul, it would have taken me much longer to understand many of the problems that hit Objectivism just before I read Ayn Rand and while I was in college (specifically, the Branden/Kelley stuff, and Libertarianism). So I appreciate those who have taken the time to help straighten out areas where a lot of people are or could be confused.

Anyone can choose to have a watchman role, and really I think that's awesome. As Burgess writes in his post above:

The responsibility of being watchmen is heavy. It requires diligence in research, thought, and argumentation. It also requires the strength to withstand scrutiny.

I agree. Also, when there are watchmen around, it means those of us who use those people as resources must decide for ourselves whether they are credible as watchmen. Truth be told, and I'm sorry if this is the first Diana knows about this, but it took me a while to consider her a credible resource. It took me lots of time (more on this point in a bit) because, well, maybe I'm slow. It takes me a while to make up my mind about people in general, especially if I only "know" them online. And I don't just believe everything I read on the internet--so take heed, watchers everywhere! I am watching--and thinking about--you. And you do the same to me. ("Judge, and prepare to be judged!")

I think I'd be able to take this new project more seriously if they had brought out some evidence that Diana disagrees with something fundamental to Objectivism. I see nothing fundamental put forth here, in the Diana column, anyway. (There are plenty of fundamentals pointed to under the other tabs, as anyone familiar with Objectivism for any length of time is no doubt already aware.) I've known Diana for a long time now (though we only met in person last year), so I am not expecting any such evidence to come to light.

Matters of disagreement over philosophical or political application are interesting to me, because I often can learn something about the different points of view based on following the discussion. However, unless someone is behaving in a dishonest (not virtuous) way or rude fashion, I find it difficult to get to the point where I must condemn someone's character over our disagreement.

Which brings me to my main point, which Christian mentioned on Facebook:

[The] method of assessing people primarily according to their professed conclusions about issues and people is profoundly anti-intellectual. . . .

As I told my friend Kelly the other day, I am certain that there are Objectivists out there on the internets who would have de-friended Dagny and Hank about 50 pages into Atlas Shrugged for being too dense to figure out their errors already. Someone like Eddie Willers would never even have stood a chance with such Objectivists.

Right?

Yaron Brook repeated this theme at last year's OCON: "Objectivism is HARD." He is correct. I first read this stuff when I was only 18 years old. 23 years later and I'm still working hard to figure things out. In fact, I was WRONG about all kinds of things for a long, long time. Thank the gods that the internets weren't really around back then, lest I be smote for my ignorance or wrongness. In fact, my first forays into internet Objectivism--the old usenet groups--turned me away from even trying to find Objectivists in real life for YEARS because people were so ugly to those who were new and/or confused.

There's a difference between being wrong about something and being immoral. What I mean is, holding a wrong conclusion (or even many) is not necessarily immoral, or even damaging to the movement especially when you are open to discussing (not debating--I refer you here if you'd like to learn the difference between a discussion and a debate) the premises and arguments around the issue.

And because Objectivism is hard, it takes lots of thinking and lots of time to figure things out, even if you are already basically a moral person. And until you figure things out, you might be holding a wrong premise or conclusion or two. (And even then, once you think you've got X figured out, then suddenly you realize that Y needs addressing, and oh no--what about the implications of Z?, etc. It's an ongoing process, the thinking.)

How long did it take Hank and Dagny to figure it out? As I recall, most of that enormous book. Poor Eddie never quite got there. (I like to think he might have, if he'd had a bit more time.)

Note: I'm not referring to any particular area of disagreement I have with Diana--or anyone--here. It's merely a commentary on how many people confuse being wrong with being immoral.

I'm still thinking through what I think about this whole new controversy. Probably there is more I can add, but I think I'll stick to one last thing. This seems a huge waste of time and resources, given the enormity of what we all would like to accomplish.

And now, I'll climb out of the muck, clean up, dry off, and get back to work.

Size 6 is the New Plus-Size

Sheesh already. The video really says it all:






I am someone who has always struggled with body image and weight and have, at the age of 41, only just now fixed some of the errors I've made, inside my head and outside. As someone who has been plus-size in the past, it's just hysterical to me that, in some circles, size 6 is now considered plus-size. Even with vanity sizing running rampant, that's what--a old size 8 or 10? Sheesh.

I will never be "skinny," not by these standards. And screw these standards anyway. They aren't mine. I will be--and already am even though I still have some fat to lose--healthy and strong. I think I will be focusing more on my lifting numbers instead scale numbers or that useless, pointless BMI number. (Lifting numbers are more fun to pay attention to anyway--did you know I recently did a 115# clean and jerk? And I've got more in me, too!)

And I plan to keep taking my kids with me to CrossFit semi-regularly, so they will get to see lots of good examples of what the healthy bodies of real people can and do look like.

H/T Crystal

In Which I State Something Vitally Important

To Whom It May Concern:

The principal members of the Atlanta Objectivist Society (ATLOS) would like you to be aware that we do not advocate the eating of babies, even deliciously adorable ones with smooth skin and squeezable cheeks and beautiful smiles.

We would also like to make it plain that we do not automatically sanction every utterance someone makes at any of our events. We expect those who hear something they do not like or disagree with to seek out the individual in question and gather more information as necessary and sufficient to support making an independent decision about that individual's claims or character. We especially expect people to do that because we pride ourselves on our crazy senses of humor and are as likely as not to make outrageous and inappropriate jokes on a regular basis.

Sincerely,

The Management

Brain Dump

I have no clear idea about what I'm going to write. I think you need to know this going in.

The other morning on the way home from CrossFit, I caught the end of a local morning show on the radio. To my pleasant surprise, they were talking about homeschooling, and the discussion was generally very favorable. Everyone seemed to think there were lots of ways for homeschooled kids to meet up and hang out with other kids (and there are).

Unfortunately, the people in the discussion irritated me a lot by providing a good deal of misinformation about the legal requirements here in Georgia. Did they not have an intern look this up before the show? The male host incorrectly stated that we need to get "approval" or "permission" from the state to homeschool, including approval of our curriculum. When one of the others in the discussion challenged him on this, he got a bit defensive. There was some other misinformation, too.

Please note: In Georgia, we do not beg permission nor seek approval from the state or school board to homeschool. We inform them that we are doing so. There is no approval process, nor can they deny you. You inform; they file a piece of paperwork. For more information about the actual laws about homeschooling in Georgia, visit the HEIR website.


Some parenting articles I've enjoyed recently:

"Don't Carpe Diem," because THIS:

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up. 

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

I try to carpe diem all the time, but not at all in the appreciate every single thing because you'll miss it when it's over way. I think that even when you are carpe-ing the diem, you should be doing that according to your values. I do NOT carpe the diem over temper tantrums (unless they are kind of funny or cute) or epic battles with my 9 year old. I do NOT carpe the diem about mounds of laundry or stepping on LEGOs.

I DO carpe the diem all the time--I appreciate the important moments, small and big, and try to pause and appreciate them for what they are. But there's no way I can carpe diem every single moment--it's just impossible and would take up too much energy, for one thing. And for another, it doesn't make sense to me.  Hierarchy of values. It's a good thing to have.


Along this line, I enjoyed this post by Kim: "Embracing the Changes."  I am enjoying each age and stage of each of my kids. Knowing that Sean is the third and final installment of The Offspring Trilogy, I was worried I'd sort of mourn each time he moved on to something new. And I don't. In fact, I'm celebrating each new stage of his development with as much energy and enthusiasm as I did the other two kids--maybe even a little bit more because, at least right now, each stage he reaches generally means that my life becomes just a bit easier.


Another good parenting article: "To the Mother with Only One Child."

Dear mother of only one child, don’t blame yourself for thinking that your life is hard. You’re suffering now because you’re turning into a new woman, a woman who is never allowed to be alone. For what? Only so that you can become strong enough to be a woman who will be left. 

When I had only one child, she was so heavy. Now I can see that children are as light as air. They float past you, nudging against you like balloons as they ascend.

I completely agree with this feeling. When it was just Ryan, he felt heavy and I felt burdened and overwhelmed. I am busier with three, yes, but I am freer and lighter and calmer and better. Can I just say that I love being a Mommy?


One more and that will end my brain dump for today. Katie Granju has a new post called "Right or Wrong: I Don't Know How I Did It" up at Babble.

But I remember very, very clearly how it felt in the beginning to believe with every fiber of my being that my children would pretty much automatically grow into the right kinds of teenagers, and then into superlative adults who would serve as a public reflection of my own stellar success as their mother. After all, that’s how it had worked for pretty much everyone else in my family. None of us grew up to be drug addicts or dropouts or to go to jail. So I would simply follow the same general parenting blueprint as my own parents and grandparents, and just as it worked for them, it would work for me. 

That’s what I believed, and intended to do. And frankly, in hindsight, I was delusionally confident that my outcome-based parenting would generally work out just as I planned.

I know I've talked about this and probably written about it too--parenting is a very important endeavor, but it is a process not an outcome. How you choose to handle parenting situations matters--it matters to your kid, but it also matters to you (or should).

But great parenting does not necessarily guarantee that your kid will make great choices in his life. (Damn you, free will!) Being a crappy parent does not necessarily guarantee that your kid will make crappy choices in his life. (I love you, free will!) We all want our kids to grow up and be happy and well-adjusted productive adults. I think good parenting is conducive to this, but it is not sufficient.

Which is scary to consider, especially if you are a Type A person like me who likes to be in complete control and have all your bases covered to minimize every single risk ever. It is scary, terrifying really, to think that my precious babies could decide to make horrible life-ending choices like Katie's son did. But I know that is a possibility.

And I also know that it's a possibility they'll make good or great or mediocre choices in their lives too--and when the outcomes of those choices of theirs are good, then I cannot be the one to take credit for those outcomes.

What I can take credit (or blame) for is doing my very best to get them launched out into the world while living as virtuous a life as I could each and every single day. I can take credit (or blame) for handling each parenting challenge in a certain way, for handling MYSELF in each parenting challenge, I should say.

Basically, I strive to handle each parenting challenge according to my parenting principles and to be as virtuous as I can be, and to fix mistakes if I make them (including taking measures to prevent future similar mistakes).

And no matter what they decide to do with their lives when they are older, I will be able to say that I did my very, very best. Because, important as they are, what matters to me even more is how I live MY life, whether I can look myself in the mirror. And that is selfish parenting, I think.

ATLOSCon Speaker Proposals!

Hey! Were you thinking of giving a presentation at this year's ATLOSCon? Well then now is the time to think a bit harder about this and send us your proposal!

Here's the announcement we just sent out to our group: 

ATLOSCon 2012 Request for Speaker Proposals!

We at the Atlanta Objectivist Society (ATLOS) are working hard on preparations for our third regional conference to be held May 24-27, 2012 in the Atlanta area. Our first two conferences set the bar pretty high for an enjoyable combination of social events and interesting presentations. And this year, we are striving to do even better.

If you are interested in becoming an ATLOSCon Speaker, please read the following carefully (and note the deadlines!).


WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR

• A wide-range of topics--philosophy, art, science, cooking, fly-fishing, whatever you are passionate about!

• Knowledgeable speakers who are passionate about their topics--many of our best speakers the last two years did not have official credentials, but they knew their subjects well and presented them with flair. And we love our credentialed speakers as well!

• Interactive presentations--we love to get our audiences really involved in the presentations (and their feedback shows that they love it too!), so discussion groups, panel-led presentations, interactive exercises, demonstrations, and tours are all very much encouraged.

THE PROPOSAL

The proposals are due by February 1! Send them to atloscon@gmail.com.

Proposals should follow the following format and be no more than one page long (<--NOT optional!! Don’t make us send it back to you for a revision! Kelly is an English instructor and is very practiced at that!):

• Working Title for your presentation

• Which format (discussion, interactive, lecture, etc) your presentation will be in and why

• A ONE PARAGRAPH summary of your topic and a few of the main points you plan to cover--this does not have to be a long detailed outline of every point, just give us a good idea of what your topic will be about

• A brief biography, including why you are interested in this topic and prior speaking experience if applicable (note: not having tons of speaking experience will not automatically disqualify you from speaking--we are planning speaker support sessions after we’ve selected the speakers, and this will help us know how much and which types of support we can plan to provide)

We will make decisions about the presentations by mid-February. We are anticipating that we will receive more proposals than we can accommodate at the conference, so there are no guarantees that your proposal will be accepted. But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? And, maybe, just maybe, you will be one of the chosen: the few, the proud, the unpaid but much beloved!



WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU?

ATLOSCon is our Objectivist club’s primary fundraiser and is strictly a volunteer-run conference. It helps to fund activism, social events to connect Objectivists, and educational experiences. But never fear! That doesn’t mean we rely on altruism! There are many selfish reasons to participate as a speaker. Speaking at a regional mini-conference means:

• Getting some great speaking experience (and a resume/CV line!)

• Sharing your area of interest with others who might love it, too

• Meeting and hanging out with like-minded people

• Doing your part to change the culture

• Supporting an active and vibrant community Objectivist group

• Fighting for the future while doing something to create the world you want TODAY

• Becoming famous! (well, maybe just a little)

Looking forward to your proposals! Don’t forget to get them in by FEBRUARY 1!

This is going to be FUN! :D

--Kelly and Jenn and all of the ATLOS Peopleguys

Thursday Already?!?!?!

Sheesh.

Since last we met, this intrepid blogger has managed to get all of the paperwork to the mortgage company (minus one last thing I'm waiting for a copy of), exchanged a dozen emails with the realtor about the new house, nearly completed the books for the cabin business, balanced all the checkbooks, attended four sessions of my new CrossFit training program (to be henceforth referred to as "CrossFit Badass," thanks, Kelly!), chauffeured various children to various activities as per our usual routine, danced and sang like a crazy person at a showing of Mamma Mia! at a friend's house, went to the first ATLOS Happy Hour of 2012, and even managed to visit the grocery store once or twice.

I. am. busy.

And tired. CrossFit Badass is taking a lot out of me. I was told to expect this at the beginning, and I was not misled. I'm enjoying it a lot, and trying to figure out how to pace myself while I adjust to the increased volume and frequency. And I also have to adjust to getting in to the gym at 6am (OMG YES! 6-FREAKING-AM!!!!) three (OMG YES! THREE!!!!) days a week, because that's the only way I can participate in CrossFit Badass and still make sure these kids around here have adequate adult supervision at all times. Totally worth it. I think.

Our contract on the new house was binding as of Tuesday, so barring any kind of underwriting disaster (which I'm now officially worrying about because, you know, I have to worry about something), it looks like we will indeed be closing at the end of February. This is a fact that my brain has accepted, but my mind and whole self--notsomuch. But it's really happening. Less than six weeks away!

Is it any wonder I've begun procrastinating packing already? I am actually planning to begin packing today because I inherited some moving boxes from a friend of mine who recently moved and this seems like as good a reason as any to get started. And oh! I can't WAIT to get rid of lots of stuff, too. This is a decluttering opportunity of a lifetime!

We are excited about the move, but many of us have mixed feelings about it. And it will be bittersweet. I have lived in this actual house for nearly 13.5 years--the longest I've ever lived in one dwelling in my entire life. (The previous record was 5 years.) The younger two don't seem to care too much (and Sean has no real idea of what's going on at all, I don't think, and it's strange to know that he'll have few, if any, memories of his first home).

But Ryan is feeling this, and it's been difficult sometimes. Though he perked up a bit yesterday when I mentioned that we will be living right in an area where there were for certain Union and Confederate troops walking around all over the place, and even shooting at each other some. There is a small battle/skirmish marker is just around the corner from the new place. So I suspect he'll be resurrecting his metal detector in short order once we're there for good. :)

So I hope to be blogging a bit more regularly soon. I have ever so many great blog post ideas, I really do.

What's new with you? :)

Friday Already?

Oh wow, how did it get to be Friday ALREADY?!?!?!

I have tons of things I'd like to blog about, but I am in mortgage application paperwork hell (which level did Dante put that on, does anyone know?) and we are nearing the end of the 10 day due diligence period on the home we hope to purchase.

The inspection came out fine, though I am learning all about lead and asbestos and wondering how in the world anyone survived before the year 1979. Probably I have permanent damage simply due to the fact I was born in 1970 and absolutely had no alternative but to live in dwellings constructed before 1979.

But this is all progress toward the goal, and I'm feeling pretty good. And we are doing our tax stuff THIS WEEKEND (right, Brendan?) which will help accomplish another 2012 goal (and hopefully garner us an early refund check to help pay for all of this house business). And I'm starting the new CrossFit program at my gym tomorrow, which is ANOTHER goal. Did I mention I started a new knitting project, too?

Little by little, across many fronts, I'm getting there. I hope I'll have more blogging time next week. Have a great weekend!

Progress on My Goals

Well, 2012 is off to an incredible start! And by incredible, I of course mean ohmygod what have we done?

On Saturday afternoon, we learned that we have a contract on a house! We began the process of looking at homes with a realtor two weeks ago today, and now we have a contract on an amazing home that we are really excited about. It's not perfect, but it does match most of our wants and needs very well (and then some).

It's in the next town over, same county, so really not too much will change for us other than location and grocery store. Brendan's commute might be about the same--we'd looked in areas of town farther east to see if we could help him with that (for this and future jobs), but he is willing to keep driving a bit if we get this house. It's that awesome. (If you want, email me and I'll send you a link with some pics--I don't want to post the link on the blog for many reasons.)

The wheels are in motion--today I will get the rest of the mortgage process rolling and start gathering our paperwork for that (we were pre-approved, so now it's just gathering documentation). And tomorrow is the home inspection. I'm REALLY hoping nothing too crazy turns up. The home looks well-cared-for, but you never know what the real home inspector peopleguy will find. We'll go over there to be present for much of the inspection, and I'll take some room measurements, too!

I am very excited, and Brendan is very excited. The kids are somewhat excited, depending on who you talk to. Sean is absolutely clueless. :) But we are also sorry to leave this house, our home of 13 years. It will be a bittersweet change, but for me, a very, very welcome change. And we still have a couple of months before we'll need to leave (thank goodness, because I can't even wrap my head around the logistics of that particular challenge right now), so we've got time.

Let's see, what else? Oh! I have been doing my running/sprinting plan, too. I started off with a 5K race last week, and yesterday I went to a local park and ran some sprints (one minute on, 3 minutes walking rest, 5 rounds). I did not enjoy the sprints at all, especially in the drizzly rain, but I comforted myself with the knowledge that I was only actually running for 5 actual minutes, which sounds a lot better than the 35 minutes it took for me to run the 5K.

And I've been tightening up my diet quite a bit this week--though I have a few more notches to tighten (we celebrated getting our home contract with fancy scotch and manhattans on Saturday night, for example). I don't know if it's the combination diet-tightening/running-sprinting, or the stress of buying a home, or just mere coincidence, but I have lost two pounds. So that's something. And I know I was in high school the last time I weighed this much. So that's something else. :)

So yeah. Kicking butt and taking names, and it's only the 9th of January. Bring it, 2012!

UPDATE: I created a Snapfish album with house pictures if you're interested. Just email me for the link.

Objectivist Round Up #234

I'm pleased to be hosting the very first round up of 2012!

This week, we Objectivists are mourning the loss of one of our favorite people, Dr. John David Lewis. I didn't know him personally, but I got to hear him speak last summer at OCON. It was memorable, one of the best talks I saw when I was there.

When the Tea Party movement was just kicking off, Dr. Lewis gave a speech in Charlotte, NC. The text of this speech can be found at The Objective Standard. It's well worth reading. I can't find a link to the video, but it's worth watching because his delivery of the speech is captivating and rousing.

And I will always like him because he posed with Flat Ryan a couple years ago. :) I like to think that one day Ryan will know how special this picture is:

To me, Dr. Lewis and many of my fellow Objectivists embody Ayn Rand's statement that "Those who fight for the future live in it today." I think the best way we can honor his memory is to continue fighting for the world we want, and by doing so, create it all around us in big and small ways today.


And now, on to the carnival!

Earl Parson presents Lou Kahn + Some Thoughts on Drawing posted at Creatures of Prometheus, saying, "This is a nice little piece of writing I did back in June, about one of the things I love about what I do."



Frank McKay presents Importance of Mathematics posted at Frank's Objectivist blog, saying, "This blog post is about the importance of mathematics is modern technology."



Darius Cooper presents Raise taxes please! posted at Practice Good Theory, saying, "Cutting the payroll tax and extending unemployment insurance and bad ideas. We need to cut spending instead."



Trey Givens presents Announcing Trey's Theme for 2012: Adventure! posted at Trey Givens, saying, "My theme for 2012 is Adventure! (tm) I guess you don't have to read the blog post now that I went ahead and told you what the theme is. Of course, had I thought of that I might have picked a new title for the post as well.

hmmm...

Well, you should still read the post because it talks about some of the adventures I'm thinking of going on this year. You can even suggest other fun adventures! 2012 is going to be like Jurassic Park but with Shaun White making several cameo appearances. WOOHOO!"



Jason Stotts presents Best of 2011 posted at Erosophia, saying, "My favorite posts from 2011."



Gene Palmisano presents Misnomer of the Day posted at The Metaphysical Lunch, saying, "More fodder for the beguiled."



C.W. presents Process of Leaving the Euro Currency Block posted at Krazy Economy, saying, "The problems in Europe could have significant downside for us for many reasons. This one, if a country were to stop using the euro, would have many consequences, not just economic."



Ari Armstrong presents December 2011 In Review posted at Free Colorado, saying, "My December was quite busy, with articles about gun statistics, speech-chilling campaign laws, abortion rights, and more."



William Green presents 2011 Review posted at Proudly Selfish, saying, "A look back on some of my personal events from 2011"



John Drake presents When Goals Flounder - Review Your Central Purpose posted at Try Reason!, saying, "As the new year roles around, lots of people write well intentioned goals. Unfortunately, many of those goals flounder and die as the year progresses. In this post, I share my own experience with failed goals and how I realized that my problem was with contradictions in my own thinking."



Diana Hsieh presents Rick Santorum Versus Happiness posted at NoodleFood, saying, "Rick Santorum is explicitly opposed to each individual's right to the pursuit of happiness."



Jenn Casey presents Goals for 2012 posted at Rational Jenn saying, "Here are some of my goals and plans for a kick-ass 2012!"



Joseph Kellard presents The American Individualist: The Seed of My Love of Reading posted at The American Individualist, saying, "My love of reading began with what book? Trek back with me to my childhood to find out."



Kelly Elmore presents New Year's and 33rd Birthday Plans for the Future posted at Reepicheep's Coracle saying "This post is about the adventures I plan on having in 2012, mostly professionally and in my hobbies. I make plans for adventures instead of resolutions because it seems so much more fun and less oppressive."



And that's it for this week's edition! The Rule of Reason is next week's host. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Share
|

Technorati tags:

objectivist round up, blog carnival.

Goals for 2012

Today we're finally back to our usual routine. Brendan's off at work, and the kids and I need to start really really getting the house back together. But first, coffee! And blogging.

So, we have some big hairy audacious goals for 2012!

House

• The biggest goal of 2012 is to buy a new home, move into it, and then fix up and sell our current home. This is nerve-wracking in ever so many ways. The process of looking for a new home, which has begun in earnest, is enormous and time-consuming. Moving? I can barely contemplate it without developing sweaty palms and likely a deer-in-the-headlights expression on my face. And then living with two mortgages until we sell this house (it is a buyer's market, which is great for this plan on the front end, but not so much at the other end). . . I'm pretty sure we can survive this, but will I still have my sense of humor when it's over? Only time will tell.

• At the end of this process, whether it takes 6 months or 24, we will have improved our living situation and our financial situation all at the same time. The final piece of our big financial overhaul will be completed. Keeping this in mind helps with the stress. When this is over, we are going to be in better shape than ever!

Family

• Our first big family goal is to get a dog! Which will need to wait until at least June for various reasons (including the reason listed below), and ideally, until we move into our new house. But yes, a dog. I've been researching this semi-regularly for the last few months, and I'm leaning toward golden retrievers (and mixes), labs (and mixes), and possibly poodles (and mixes). I love love love golden doodles, but they are kind of pricey. There's a golden retriever rescue here in town, so that's an option, too. The very first step: I need to go to the allergist get another skin prick test for dog--years ago, I came up positive for dog, but it was pretty low. And I know that dog was included in my serum for immunotherapy, which I completed about five years ago, so I'm probably good. But I want to make double-sure.

• Our family vacation this year, house- and finances-willing, will be a road trip up to New England for Patriots' Day so we can watch the reenactment of the Battles of Lexington and Concord up in Boston. Ryan's 10th (TENTH!) birthday is April 18, which, as you will recall, is the date of Paul Revere's famous ride, and of course the battles happened on the 19th. We've talked for YEARS about going up to watch this, and we think this should be the year to make it happen. We'll visit my parents in DC on the way there or back, and we definitely want to see Mystic, Connecticut and Williamsburg, Virginia at some point during the trip, too. So you see why I don't want to get a dog until after we're home from this journey.

Homeschooling

• We need to do more field trips and really really start up some Peopleguy Tours. This might be the year!

• I also want to try making audiobooks part of our driving experience. I'm not sure how that will go over with everyone, but I want to try.

• As part of the decluttering process, I will be teaching Ryan how to sell our stuff (pre-approved by me, of course) on eBay. In exchange for his work (I'm envisioning he can learn to do the whole thing, including taking pictures), he'll get a cut of the proceeds. This will help our financial and decluttering goals as well as give him some good job experience.

• The older kids will do the Science Fair again if there is one, and keep going to homeschool co-op classes and all of our usual stuff.

Health and Fitness

• I'm incorporating regular sprints into my weekly routine as well as semi-regular longer (2-3 mile) runs. This came about because I noticed that whenever I do a bit more running, my weight seems to drop again, and through discussions about this observation with friends and my CrossFit coach, I developed this plan. I'm going to try it for a few months at least and see where it gets me. 

• I started this already, and ran in a 5K race on January 1. My main goal for this race was to run at a pace where I didn't hate myself and the world. So whenever I started feeling the pressure to keep up with other people and started going faster than I really wanted to, I remembered to slow down and just go at a nice enjoyable pace. And you know what? That was actually fun! And you know what else? I beat my previous record by 35 seconds and finished the race at 35:22! I hope that the last 5K I run in 2012 has an even better time. It should if this sprinting business works the way it's supposed to.

• Even before I came up with this new running/sprinting idea, I'd already decided to sign up for as many Kennesaw Grand Prix 5K races as I could (they don't have the 2012 schedule up yet I see). And this will fit in nicely with my new running plan. 

• Two CrossFit-related goals--well, three maybe. I am trying to work on increasing my weights for the workouts to the prescribed weights for women. I can do Fran with the RX weight, for example, but not other workouts. This is a long-term goal--I have no clue if it's really even feasible for me to get there in 2012. But I'm okay with that. I'm content to see how long it takes me to get there because I'm pretty confident that I can get there. There are some things I won't ever do probably--muscle-ups or climbing the gym rope (I'm scared to death of that). But I can get mostly there. And I might even get a pull up this year. Who knows?

• The other CF goal is to maybe, maybe try a scaled/non-whippersnapper (aka "Masters") local competition, just for fun. And to that end, I might be joining our gym in pursuing a different training program geared toward getting people prepped for competition. They swear regular, non-super-athlete people can do it, too, so we'll see. I'm willing to give it a try at least. :D

• Diet, of course, is the main factor in weight loss (I really don't have all that much to go, I don't think), and I've already started my post-holiday tightening up of my diet. I really felt AWFUL the day after Christmas, after eating the most amount of crap in a 24 hour period since I started this whole thing in earnest over two years ago. So that was an experience I am glad of. Eating crap = feeling like crap!

• I'm going to get my body fat percentage tested in a big old water tank thingy at the end of January, so that should be, uh, interesting.

• I will likely give up dairy at some point, maybe after the body fat testing thing, just to see what that does.

• And the MAIN thing I'm going to do for my health and fitness: continue to beat down the Perfectionism Monster! I cannot honestly explain how much it continues to plague me, and also how far I've come in conquering it. I need to keep in mind all of the accomplishments I've already done and my context, too--I have a (controlled, but still) thyroid thing. I am at the tail end of weaning Sean, so that is probably doing some interesting hormonal things to my body. I am 41. I am doing the best I can and I have seen results and so the Perfectionism Monster can go suck it.

ATLOS

• Get a new lawyer and get our paperwork in. I dropped the ball on this (well, our lawyer did, and then I did) and I don't want to let my ATLOS peeps down.

• ATLOSCon 2012! We don't have an official tagline for this one yet, but my current favorite is: We're Badass and We Know It.

• Lead a study group for the new transcript of Peikoff's Understanding Objectivism, which is coming out in March. I really really want to do this. 

• Keep the hiking group going, and other Optional Value Groups

• Generally keep going as the best community Objectivist group in the country!

Cultivating the Virtues

• Continue plugging away at producing podcasts when Kelly and I have the time. This is so hard because we are both passionate about this project, but our other passions have a tendency to suck up our time. But we'll work on it, likely in the summer when we both will have some extra time. We each have other CtV/Positive Discipline related non-parenting career goals, too. That might sound strange, but we have nothing if not tons of ideas for the future!

Cabin

• Take down the Christmas decorations in January 2012.

• Decide whether or not to sell the cabin and use that money for other financial goals.

Miscellaneous

• Have a Messy Party this year, because we didn't have one last year and that made us all sad.

• Go to the beach this year, because we didn't go to one last year and that made us all sad.

• Take more pictures of the kids with the real camera, because we hardly took any last year, and that made me sad.

• File our personal and business taxes before April 15, because needing an extension and filing in October makes me sad.

• Spend lots of time with our wonderful friends and family, because we did that a lot last year and that made us all happy.

• Keep knitting, because that helps me stay out of the kitchen at night and not eat stuff I shouldn't be eating, and because I'm getting good at it, and because it makes me happy. This year I'm going to learn cables!

That's a huge ambitious list! And I'll probably add more to it as I think of it. I love having so many big goals--it makes me feel ALIVE and productive and it's really way more interesting than having no goals at all. I have a wonderful life full of good work and good friends and a great family, and basically, I pretty much want to continue on this path forever.

2011 Year in Review

Overall, what a great year! And maybe this is just a function of getting older, but WOW did it ever go by quickly!

I've been writing these end of the year reviews since 2001, and putting them on my blog since 2005 (I think--I'll have to go back and look). I am so happy that I've taken the time to note down our adventures.

One of the main reasons I started up this blog is so that I can remember things--believe it or not, I have a difficult time remembering what I've written. When people start talking to me about a particular post, it often takes me a few minutes to recall what it was about, and sometimes I can't remember having written it at all! Memory is a crazy thing, isn't it? So I'm glad I blogged in 2011, because I will be using the posts I wrote as a way to jog my memory about the other things that occurred.

The theme this year was CONFERENCES. I attended four, spoke at three of them, traveled out of town for three of them and helped arranged one. Really, that makes me sound kinda professional and fancy. :D 

2011: The Year of the Conferences

January

• Our New Year was pretty quiet, and then we got lots and lots of snow ALL OF A SUDDEN. It was a respectable snowstorm here in Georgia, finally, and deserving of all of the school and work cancellations. 

• Sadly, that was the weekend I'd intended to go up to the cabin to remove the holiday decorations. I didn't go, but somehow I thought I'd gone. Whoops.

• I did a lot of ranting about Tiger Moms. Good times.

• I gave myself two personal challenges for January: a burpee challenge and a declutter drawers challenge. I stuck with them pretty well, though toward the end of the month I skipped some days doing both and then had to play catch up--not fun. I think I'll give myself another challenge in January 2012 and I hope I heed the lessons of January 2011. Because 17+18+19+20 burpees in one day really sucks.

• We started planning for ATLOSCon 2011: This Year, We Kinda Know What We're Doing. And it felt good to, you know, kinda know what we were doing.

• I got to go to Shakespeare Tavern for the very first time and it was so much fun. Kelly and Aaron are the best! I really need to go again. Oh! I just checked the calendar--Canterbury Tales in May 2012!!!!

• I also saw Cake in concert and they were really good.

• I wrote a post praising the children's show Blue's Clues, and one of the producers of the show comment on it. That was really pretty awesome. I'm nearly famous!

• Our friend Earl was in town briefly, so we got to visit with him a bit.

• I kept going to CrossFit in the bitter cold. Still a nervous newbie. Wow, okay, that part feels like a long time ago.

• All in all, a very full January!

February

• Kelly and I wrote our joint CrossFit post, which got a lot of good response.

• I read The Hunger Games trilogy and enjoyed it thoroughly.

• Hah! I blogged a Day in the Life. Funny to read that again after all this time.

• My in-laws came for a visit, always good times.

• Kelly and I started working on our talk for SnowCon in March. We had a new take on some of the ideas we'd learned from Positive Discipline and were very excited about presenting these parenting ideas to people who weren't necessarily parents.

• I celebrated George's birthday with a blog post.

• I finished more knitting projects and learned how to follow simple patterns, hooray!

• I registered for my first ever 5K race in April. 

• Kind of a leisurely month after the crazy January--but I think I probably needed that.

March

• March began in a rough way, with Brendan losing a (young) aunt to cancer. :( He went up to Chicago that first weekend and I stayed home with the kids. 

• Except when I didn't stay home--I kept the babysitter I had lined up and went to a friend's 40th birthday party and did karaoke for the first time. Good stuff.

• The second weekend found me in Denver, all alone without my posse. It was fun, but I remember being stressed and somewhat lost without my kids up my ass every second hanging around me all the time.

• And the whole reason I went to Denver was to attend and speak at SnowCon! Kelly and I gave our joint presentation called "Effective Communication: How Objectivists Can Use Positive Discipline Ideas in their Adult Relationships." Which is a long title. Basically, it's about using the communication techniques I (usually) use with and teach my kids with well, everyone! Because we don't parent to teach our kids how to be good kids--we parent to teach them how to be good human beings. The talk went really well and I got a margarita afterward! I also learned that I am a Brand Name Intellectual, so there you go. :P Here, I wrote all about it. 

• ATLOS celebrated its official one year anniversary on March 16!

• Ha, reviewing my blog posts from March reveals several parenting and homeschool challenges that I dealt with, many of them which still plague challenge me today. Say it with me: Parenting is nothing if not repetitive. Parenting is nothing if not repetitive. 

• For the first time ever, I decided to write about my Perfectionism Monster on the blog because it needs some smacking down. I'm glad I did that, as it helped me make much progress on killing it this year.

• At some point this month, it turned into spring. And then I remembered to go up to the cabin and take down the Christmas decorations. Oops.

• It was somewhere during March that I started going to CrossFit three times a week on a regular basis, and also stopped being scared of hurting myself when lifting heavy things. And so commenceth Operation Turn Into A Badass.

• Miss Morgan turned six years old and that just seems unfair, especially because now she's that much closer to being seven.

April

• This was another really really full month, like January and March. 

• On April 2, I ran in a 5K, I really did! Apart from the fact that these things start REALLY early, I enjoyed the experience (a few friends from homeschool co-op were there, so that made it even more fun). The kids and Brendan--well, it wasn't quite so fun for them, but I was happy to see them clapping at the finish line.

• I remember working on ATLOSCon quite a bit.

• Then the Atlas Shrugged movie came to Atlanta at the last minute (with a two-week notice, for real) and I did a bunch of organizing and promotion of ATLOS stuff for that (with lots of help from awesome ATLOS peopleguys).

• We went to a Seder meal--the first time I've ever been to one. It was very interesting and fun. Ryan and Morgan helped read the readings and I remember feeling relieved that everyone knew how to read out loud pretty well.

• Ryan turned NINE, which meant that he is halfway done. (Boy that went fast, and yes, it's very unfair.) We celebrated with a laser tag birthday party. I suspect we'll be having laser tag birthday parties for years to come.

• We gave Sean peanuts for the first time and all was well, yay.

• We began to contemplate a move to a new home and spent lots of time looking at house on the internet and doing drive-bys. But we ended up staying put for the rest of the year (more on that later). 

May

• Busy busy busy. I need to schedule months like February more often.

• I ran in my second 5K on Mother's Day weekend and actually ran it (as opposed to chit-chatting and half-walking with everyone I knew for the first 15 minutes or so as I did in the first one). 

• Brendan performed in a charity concert with some friends. That was pretty cool and I wish we could have seen it in person.

• I got a snowman from Sean for Mother's Day. I got gifts from the others, too, but the snowman is what stands out because it was so stinking cute.

• I made videos for Food Allergy Awareness Week this year. Here's Ryan's. And here's Morgan's.

• Brendan's grandfather passed away and this time we all went up to Chicago. We all attended the wake, and then Morgan developed a surprise stomach bug (which, amazingly, nobody else ended up catching, and even more amazingly, didn't cause her to puke once during the long car trip home) the morning of the funeral, so the kids and I stayed home from the funeral. It was nice to see the family, though it was a sad occasion.

• Right after the funeral, we all started driving home, with Brendan's mom, stepfather, and brother in the car behind us. Because I'd had made huge arrangements to surprise Brendan for his 40th birthday with tons of friends in Atlanta, and if we left RIGHT AWAY, we'd have just enough time to make it back to Atlanta to go and do it. So we drove home as fast as we could, stopping in southern Indiana for a night, and got back home with about an hour to spare before the babysitter arrived. Brendan's OTHER brother had flown home to Florida from Chicago, and then back up here to attend, too. And the big surprise was going to The Hackensaw Boys concert! It was fun, but wow, what a crazy weekend--in both the fun and not-fun senses of the word crazy.

• And THEN ATLOSCon started! I gave three presentations (one solo and two with Kelly) and did some organizer stuff, too. And we had house guests and oh yeah, all the usual kid stuff, too. Fun weekend and I wrote about it here.

• Just reading about this month makes me tired. I can't believe I actually lived that.

June

• With ATLOSCon over, I think I took a couple of days off. Or ten. I don't remember what we did for the first half of the month other than hang out, go to the pool, go to CrossFit and playdates, etc. I think we all deserved some NOTHING after so many, many, many events all stacked up on top of each other.

• But! That was all nice and good, but now it was time for us to start up AGAIN. In mid-June we all drove up to Wisconsin (by way of Chicago) to begin this year's family vacation. 

• First, my brother got married and Ryan and Morgan were part of the show. It was a really fun wedding and weekend. I loved hanging out with our extended family at one of the bars in town (where kids can drink with parent's permission--go, Wisconsin!). The town is really cute and we all want to go back for a visit one day.

• I gave my grandma a scarf I knitted for her. She is one of my knitting inspirations. :D

• After the nice weekend with my family, we drove a bit north to spend some time with Brendan's mom and stepdad, who own a second home in the Dells. My parents and grandma joined us for a couple of days and we all . . .

• . . . helped Sean celebrate his third birthday! I have no more babies, weep (so unfair)! For his birthday, we took a ride on the Ducks and bought sweatshirts because it's freezing cold in the middle of June in Wisconsin. 

• Then Brendan flew home, only he got to spend the night in the Madison airport first. Fun!

• Then I drove back to Chicago with the kids and my mother-in-law, by way of Mineral Point, where I got to see Pendarvis, home of my Blewett ancestors who came over from Cornwall. (I'm drinking coffee from my Pendarvis coffee mug as I write this post.)

• Thus began my solo road trip home with the kids, stopping all the way home with various relations. We went to Purdue for a day and that was fun, too.

• I think I decided that we are never, ever doing another road trip ever (but that resolution only lasted a couple of months).

July

• The year was halfway over and I have to say, we'd really carpe-d the ever-loving crap out of it so far.

• I had a few days of rest and then I was off to Florida for OCON (conference #3)! Oh my goodness--I never really wrote about my OCON experience. Whoops.

• I'd never ever been and I'm glad I went. This time, I really didn't miss the kids much and I was able to enjoy myself much more. Maybe not having to give a talk had something to do with that level of stress, too. The only time I really missed my family deeply was during the fireworks show, but I got to spend it with another family with a child, so that helped ease my homesickness a bit. 

• I loved connecting with friends, new and old, at OCON, and I conquered a severe case of stage fright and walked myself up to the microphone to ask Yaron Brook a question in front of about 300 people. I wonder if anyone there guessed how close I was to fainting or puking. 

• And then, when I got back, we finally got to have some lazy summer. We went to the pool and hung out with friends and relaxed some. There were no kid activities, and the only thing I did was CrossFit and knit and wrote a few parenting posts. 

• I think this was the month I started going to CrossFit four times a week. God it was HOT in our CF gym (It's freezing cold nowadays and I'm not sure which is more uncomfortable). I got through the heat by imaging I was a badass Caroline Ingalls on the prairie with no air conditioning and a log cabin to help build. 

August

• Though we did not make it to the beach this year, August mostly felt like one long vacation for me. I hardly even remember what we did! 

• Homeschool co-op started back up, and Morgan began gymnastics. She enjoys it a lot and is freakishly flexible.

• She also created a Things I Want To Do and Learn list with me. (Still waiting on Ryan to fill his out.)

• We participated in Lemonade Freedom Day and it was lots of fun and a great learning experience.

• I'm pretty sure August is when we started watching Star Trek: TNG as a family, and Sean became obsessed with the Enterprise D. We are in the middle of Season 5 as of this writing.

• The kids REALLY missed going to the beach and have been bugging us about it ever since. As you'll see when I write up our goals for this year, we might not make it there in 2012 either, but we have promised that we can at least go to a Georgia beach for a long weekend or something.

• We still hadn't made up our minds about moving to a new home, so we put the decision on hold for a while. 

September

• We drove up to Chicago AGAIN, this time for the Chicago Objectivist Society MiniCon, the fourth and final conference of The Year of the Conferences. This time I was giving the Effective Communication talk solo, as Kelly chose to stay here and go to Dragon*Con (which, I believe, was a difficult and agonizing choice for her to have to make). The talk itself went well, I made my main points and didn't trip over myself or anything, but I only had an hour to present 2+ hours of material, so it felt rushed and crammed to me. Kelly and I have since decided not to whittle down talks to fit time frames any more. Next time, we'll simply create a new talk to fit the time frame!

• This conference (oh look, here's a blog post) felt like a mini-vacation to me because we left the kids with my in-laws all weekend (oh hooray hooray hooray for them!) and Brendan and I stayed in the city. It was a nice early anniversary celebration.

• When we got back home, we vowed never to drive anywhere again.

• We were crazybusy with kid activities and homeschool co-op and museum trips and visits with friends and our usual lives, too. I took time to write a general kid update, a snapshot in time of who they are and how they do so I can remember these days.

• Somehow, I'd made it a whole year at CrossFit, hooray! I am more badass than ever, and that's saying something. :D

• Ryan and I both survived our first experience with standardized testing. Not a small feat.

• Morgan got moved up a level in gymnastics and was invited to join a special class for kids who might end up on the team track at some point. So now she's going to gymnastics twice a week.

October

• We visited an apple orchard up in Ellijay with friends and it is totally worth going to see in person because it has the most unintentionally funny-in-a-horrific-way tour of nursery rhymes. It's hard to explain. But next time you visit, we will go see it. Because OMG.

• Having made lots of steady progress in the fitness/health front, I got to buy a whole new fall/winter wardrobe AGAIN.

• My mother-in-law and sister-in-law were visiting Asheville, NC, which is practically next door to Atlanta, as you know. So one day during their vacation, we all met up for an afternoon somewhere in North Georgia. It was fun.

• Brendan, Ryan and I took a shooting class. Now THAT was fun. 

• Oh yeah, Sean finished up potty training this month, and I have to say that (barring any regressions that may lie ahead) it was the easiest of the three. He is even dry most nights, which is quite an accomplishment at three, I think!

• After a summer-related hiatus from knitting (I know--summer is the best time to knit Christmas gifts, and yet I don't want to knit when it's hot out), I got my knitting mojo back in a big way. And wrote about my two favorite hobbies and why they're similar.

• We opted for a small Halloween extravaganza this year--just us and Kelly's daughter. Best. Decision. Ever.

November

• Even though it was only last month, I can't seem to remember what we did. Funny.

• ATLOS hosted a talk by Andy Bernstein, which we were able to do because our conference was so successful last summer.

• My parents came for a visit and we all went up to the cabin for a day to decorate it for Christmas. I'm optimistic about my chances for de-decorating before March of 2012.

• I turned 41! I have to say that so far, the 40s are AWESOME. The Decade of Awesome, I'm calling this.

• After a few months of not running in 5K races, I decided to run in one on Thanksgiving morning. I didn't PR, but only by about 45 seconds, and considering this one had lots of hills, I was pretty pumped with how I did.

• We had a lovely Thanksgiving, just us and a few friends over, and I made a yummy yummy dinner. 

• We watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies with the whole fam. It was a huge hit, and Morgan is as likely to draw you a picture of the Great Eye as she is a dog these days.

• The older kids discovered something called Minecraft, and haven't come up for air since.

• What else? Well, the "should we get a new house" conversation started up again in earnest, so that's something. And all of the usual kid activity, book reading, co-op, museum trips, hanging out, arguing, knitting, not cleaning the house, etc. 

December

• The first weekend of December was another travel weekend for me and Ryan. My cousin got married in Arizona, and Ryan was my date to the wedding. It was a fun wedding, and great to spend a lot of one-on-one special time with him. The other kids had a great time with Brendan, too. 

• I went for a run one morning in Arizona and didn't hate it. Yes, this is noteworthy.

• My brother-in-law came to visit during the second weekend and we all had a great time with him. As usual.

• ATLOS had a holiday party on the third weekend and it was awesome. I dressed up fancy (which is not something I tend to do) and was introduced to the wonderful cocktail that is a Manhattan. I've had them before, so I suppose it wasn't a true introduction, but somehow it never really stuck. This time, it did.

• The fourth weekend of December brought Christmas, and I got a lamp so I can see while I knit, a Glock (oh yes!), and the complete AbFab series on DVD. 

• We also decided to really really buy a house and this last week of December, including the very last day of the year, has been full of home research and driving by properties and looking at properties with a realtor. I'm ready to move forward with this and now is a great time to buy. We are hoping to get into a comparable or larger home on more land and out of an HOA (not that ours is terrible, but we have some restrictions that we no longer want to deal with). I'm nervous about the whole thing, but this is a good decision for us right now. So probably I'll be bitching writing about this on the blog a whole lot next year.

And whew! That about wraps up 2011. I don't really expect anyone to read this kind of post thoroughly, but if you did and made it to the end, great! And hello from me! And thanks!

Stay tuned for a post soon about my goals for 2012. Hint: there will be a new house (I hope) and even: A DOG.

Happy New Year to everyone! I hope your 2011 has been as awesome as mine, and I wish you an even more spectacular 2012 full of love and laughter and hard work and accomplishment.

Merry Christmas!

Because I never got organized enough to get Christmas cards together, I figure I can at least put some pictures of our Christmas (so far) up.

The Battle of Christmas Town

A beautiful sibling moment. Beautiful because it was genuine and because this is somewhat rare.

Night vision goggles. He also got a lie detector kit. We are in big trouble.

He has been playing with this for hours. Literally. He still has about 20 gifts yet to unwrap as of this writing. The best part is that he sings the song and makes the bird noises. I got it on video. :D

Guitar lesson on her shiny new blue guitar!

I may add more pictures throughout the day.

Merry Christmas to you and yours! Hope your day is as awesome as ours has been.

Objectivist Round Up #232

Welcome to the December 22, 2011 edition of the Objectivist Round Up!

It's almost Christmas! Are you getting excited? I tell you, my kids are about to EXPLODE with excitement (and cuteness) all over the place.

I used to be kind of a Bah Humbug about the holidays, but now it's one of my favorite times of the year. I love the lights and the decorations and Good Will Toward Men and the food and, of course, presents! And it's lots of fun to celebrate the holidays with kids, because let's face it--they get all the cool stuff. I'm very much looking forward to playing with their toys on Christmas morning. :D

So here's a relevant quotation from Ayn Rand on the holiday season (via the online Ayn Rand Lexicon). And yes, Jason quoted this last week, but it's so good it bears repetition, I think (emphasis is mine):

[In answer to the question of whether it is appropriate for an atheist to celebrate Christmas:] 

Yes, of course. A national holiday, in this country, cannot have an exclusively religious meaning. The secular meaning of the Christmas holiday is wider than the tenets of any particular religion: it is good will toward men—a frame of mind which is not the exclusive property (though it is supposed to be part, but is a largely unobserved part) of the Christian religion. 

The charming aspect of Christmas is the fact that it expresses good will in a cheerful, happy, benevolent, non-sacrificial way. One says: “Merry Christmas”—not “Weep and Repent.” And the good will is expressed in a material, earthly form—by giving presents to one’s friends, or by sending them cards in token of remembrance . . . . 

The best aspect of Christmas is the aspect usually decried by the mystics: the fact that Christmas has been commercialized. The gift-buying . . . stimulates an enormous outpouring of ingenuity in the creation of products devoted to a single purpose: to give men pleasure. And the street decorations put up by department stores and other institutions—the Christmas trees, the winking lights, the glittering colors—provide the city with a spectacular display, which only “commercial greed” could afford to give us. One would have to be terribly depressed to resist the wonderful gaiety of that spectacle. 

The Objectivist Calendar, Dec. 1976

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah with your loved ones! And I really hope you get lots of cool stuff.

And now, on to the rest of the carnival:


Ross England presents My (Atheist) Wedding Ceremony posted at Think Twice, saying, "I describe the path my fiancee and I took to figuring out a very satisfactory plan for our wedding ceremony."



Jenn Casey presents Perfectionism and Homeschooling posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "On homeschooling a perfectionist kid, and the value of letting kids make their own decisions about their values."



Santiago and Kelly Valenzuela presents US Builds Sea Fence to Keep Out Migrant Workers from the South posted at Mother of Exiles, saying, "US builds a multi-million dollar sea fence to keep out job seekers."



Gene Palmisano presents A Christmas Anecdote From the Tipi Wind Ranch posted at The Metaphysical Lunch, saying, "From ou ranch to yours, Merry Christmas, or Happy Holiday or Happy Pagan Ritual day."



Diana Hsieh presents Noodlecast #111: Testimony on Campaign Finance posted at NoodleFood, saying, "Here's a podcast of the oral testimony on Colorado's campaign finance rules from Ari Armstrong, Paul Hsieh, and me."



Jason Stotts presents Letters posted at Erosophia, saying, "One reader's remarkable story of a marriage gone awry and it's recovery."



Rachel Miner presents Nurturing Self At This Time of Year posted at The Playful Spirit, saying, "I share some thoughts about my Getting Things Done system and how it helps me reconnect with the goal of nurturing self. I'm interested in others' actions too that help them feel nurtured during this cheery time of year."



Ari Armstrong presents Rand's 'We the Living' Opposes Tyranny posted at Free Colorado, saying, "Hannah Krening delivered a short talk about the themes of Ayn Rand's 'We the Living.'"



Paul Hsieh presents Gingrich and Personhood posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "In my latest PJM Oped, I argue that if Newt Gingrich wins the 2012 GOP nomination, it would introduce the controversial "fetal personhood" issue into the presidential race and potentially tip the election to Obama."



Martin Lindeskog presents Morris the Cat: Requiescat in Pace posted at EGO. [I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Martin.]



That concludes this week's edition. Thank you all for participating, reading, and passing this around the internets (hint, hint)!

Stay tuned for the Best of the Year 2011 edition next week at Parenting Is. . . !  To participatie, submit your blog article using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Share
|

Technorati tags:

objectivist round up, blog carnival.

Perfectionism and Homeschooling

Last week, I had an interesting (and by "interesting," I mean "difficult and heartwrenching") experience with Morgan. It turned out to be a learning experience for me, though I'm still not sure if I handled it well or not.

She's a perfectionist, see, and so am I (well, I'm in recovery). And this is challenging in itself, not because I can't relate, but because part of the perfectionism deal is that you don't really actually care what other people say about it when you're going over the top. At least in mine and Morgan's cases. Getting control over one's control issues needs to come from inside, so no amount of reasonableness from someone else is going to make a huge difference until you're actually ready to listen. (Again, for me--maybe other people are more reasonable than I am/was.)

So she had these assignments for her co-op classes and absolutely lost her mind over one of them. Now, homework in and of itself is a thing we rarely encounter here. She's very self-directed at home, so I don't really give her assignments on a regular basis. And thank goodness, because if I had to battle people frequently over homework . . . well, it would be ugly. (This homework advantage balances out the couple of disadvantages of homeschooling, namely, the fact that they are HERE all the time so it's hard for me to get a break from them and of course the house is always a mess.)

But I digress.

One of these assignments was pretty much done and there were no problems. The other one, though, wow. She was taking a class called Classical Book Club and one of the things they were supposed to do was have a book journal where they wrote about the book they all read for the session (Robin Hood) as well as listed other books they've read. Each time I talked to her about this project during the session, she was hesitant and evasive. I see this now as some sort of Sign.

And honestly, I couldn't really work up a lot of caring about whether she completed this assignment. It's not that I don't see the value in doing this kind of work, but in the grand scheme of things, I wasn't too concerned about her reluctance to do it. For one thing, this is an optional co-op class. And I know the teacher (hello, if you're reading this!) and I knew that the teacher wouldn't be upset if Morgan chose not to do the assignment.

For another thing, Morgan is 6.5 years old. Yes, she is academically gifted, and was probably the youngest kid in the class. But I think what she is capable of reading and comprehending and enjoying far outpaces her capability to produce the kind of assignments that are more appropriate for kids a few years older.  I was aware that this class might be a bit beyond her when we signed up for it, but she really wanted to take it, and I figured it would be a good experience. And so it was--just not the experience I'd had in mind!

But Morgan wanted to do this assignment. REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to do this assignment. So I pledged to help her. And thus began a two-hour roller coaster of emotions.

She couldn't figure out where to begin. I gave her suggestions. They were rejected. I gave her better suggestions (ha!). Rejected. I gave her "one small step" she could do to get started (my own personal strategy for when I'm stuck on how to begin something).

She cried, she pounded her fists on her notebook, she yelled "It's not good enough!"

I told her many times that she didn't need to complete the assignment, that it was fine with me if she chose not to do it. Didn't matter. I told her it would probably be fine with her teacher (and it would have been) if she chose not to do it. Didn't matter.

She wanted a ribbon for doing the journal (each kid received a participation certificate, so I don't know where she got the idea she'd get a ribbon). She kept asking me if she'd still get a ribbon if she didn't do the assignment. I had to answer honestly--if that was the deal with the class, then no, she probably wouldn't get a ribbon. Tears. I even told her we could get ribbons at a craft store, if ribbon-having was the thing she was really after. But she wanted that ribbon for doing the assignment, so no deal.

She tried and screamed and tried. And everything she tried was NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Oh it was heartbreaking to watch.

Out of ideas, I finally just gave her some space. And got myself some space, too, because I was getting all keyed up, mostly because I was feeling frustrated that she wasn't even listening to my brilliant ideas, and that she was unable to accept my reassurances. That frustration was creeping into my tone of voice as I was talking to her, and I know that wasn't helping things. And it only took me a little over an hour of this to realize that "giving her some space" was an option! (Sheesh.)

After a while, she came to me, and serenely told me that she'd thought it over and come to a decision. She said "I don't really want a ribbon that badly. I'm choosing to skip the assignment." And all was puppies and rainbows after that.

So what did I learn?

• I learned that there may be some early signs she is feeling worried/frustrated/or perfectionist-y about projects or homework assignments. I'll look out for these in the future. What I can do about it, I'm not at all sure, but at least I can prepare myself for the oncoming storm.

• I learned to ask about what she thinks she'll get out of assignments. Once the ribbon idea came out, I was able to understand a bit more about why it was more difficult for her to make the decision to skip the assignment.

• I learned that I should step out of her perfectionism/frustration/persistence cycle EARLY ON, as early as I realize it's happening, maybe, and certainly when I've reached the frustration point myself. I want to be there and be helpful and supportive, but I think my suggestions and questions were making it worse. It was only when we took a break that she was able to come to her decision. I think maybe what she wants or needs from me is merely a shoulder to cry on. I could be wrong about this--we'll see how this plays out next time. And I'm confident there will be a next time.

• I learned that maybe we should start assignments a bit earlier than three days before it's due. Usually we do the assignments pretty close to the due date because sometimes if they do them early, they forget all about it. But maybe that's a Ryan thing. Maybe Morgan needs more time.

• I'm glad the decision to complete the assignment was hers and hers alone. I think that part went well. And even though I can't get excited about ribbons per se, that ribbon was really important to her, and she was wrestling with values and the actions she must take to earn those values. In the end, she decided that the ribbon was not a value that was worth this struggle over how to complete this assignment. I think it's okay that it took her a while to figure this out, but I'm glad I stayed completely out of that decision and that it was hers completely. Always good to practice weighing values and making decisions about that, even when it's hard to struggle through in the moment.

• I'm glad she took the class. In her calmer moments while the fit was happening, she was able to tell me large chunks of the Robin Hood story. She'd been paying attention and listening and reading her book. She liked the story and enjoyed the class. And that's all that really matters at this point. 

So overall, this was good experience for both of us. It's funny how different she and Ryan are from each other. Whatever my struggles with Ryan have been, he is very confident that whatever he produces for his class assignments are nothing short of brilliant and awesome.

And also, I'm glad we're on a break from classes for the holidays! So so so so so so glad.