Good Things!

1. I've been cleaning cleaning cleaning! My, my. How productive of me. There are surfaces in the kitchen that are showing for the first time in, uh, an embarrassingly long time. :o)

2. I finally caught up on Sean's baby book! I was so good about Ryan's baby book (of course, because he was the only one for a while) and pretty good about Morgan's baby book (still pretty easy with just two kids). I've been horrible about updating Sean's. Thankfully, I kept some monthly notes on my iPhone and looking back through my blog helped me get some of Seanie's milestones in the right spots.

3. Catching up on Sean's baby book (and throwing a few things each in Ryan's and Morgan's books, too) was FUN. Looked through zillions of pictures of my adorable babies. That provides hours of entertainment for me--and for most parents, I would imagine.

4. I found canned pumpkin stuff at the store (did you know there's a shortage going on?), so all of my pumpkin pie-loving guests will get their fix. Not me, mind you. I think pumpkin anything is really nasty. I'm holding out for key lime pie.

5. Last night, I designed and ordered our Christmas cards on Snapfish. They are so freaking cute I can hardly stand it! And hopefully once our technical difficulties have been solved (yay for techie hubbies!) I'll get the 2010 calendar (filled with pictures of The People) planned out. We always give one to all of the grandparents and great-grandparents from the kids. It's pretty inexpensive--so inexpensive, in fact, that I can order a couple of extras to put in the kids' baby books! And there's one more Sean chore I need to complete--his one year photo album. (He's 17 months old, that's how bad I am!) I'm going to take advantage of this whirlwind of productivity to knock that out over the weekend.

6. That's all for now! Tomorrow I bake pies and we tackle the playroom. Once more into the breach!

PD Tool Card: Mirror

This week's card is one of my favorite parenting tools! It's easy to do, it's easy to do respectfully, and it is a way for me to remain disentangled from unnecessary battles.

Telling children what you observe is often enough to motivate change.

That's it. All you do is make observations. And then sit back and reap the rewards! Okay, it's not quite that simple, but many times things seem to work out that way.

Most of the time, I make general observations similar to the ones shown on the card:

• I see your new rocks on the floor.

• I see your empty lunch plate on the table.

• I noticed a string cheese wrapper by the computer.

Those are great ways to get kids to handle their responsibilities. It's not bossing, because I'm merely making an observation out loud. I am not telling them what to do because I know they know what to do. So it's easier to handle protests. "But MOM! Don't tell me what to do!" (Boy do they ever hate being bossed.) And I can say "I wasn't telling you what to do. I'm just saying what I see." And sometimes I even feign an exaggerated air of innocence, which often gets smiles, or at least, blank stares. (Hey--I have to amuse myself, too!)

It's also a useful tool for the likes of me, who tends to be overly wordy. I don't need to provide a long, drawn-out explication of the various reasons a plate needs to be taken to the sink, or a laundry list of the last 10 minutes of reminders. And I think they like knowing that I understand that they will and can handle their responsibility. It's a way of demonstrating trust.

Finally, Mirroring is explicitly reality-oriented: "Here is something I see (or hear or god forbid, smell) in reality." A is A; this is how I know it; and I trust that you will do the Right Thing. Metaphysics; Epistemology; Ethics. A parenting-philosophy WIN. :D

I have found ways to use Mirroring in other contexts, too. It's a wonderful tool during conflict, for example. Often, when tempers and voices are rising, I can help circumvent a full-on altercation by making a quick observation.

• Can I tell you what I saw? I saw that Morgan was holding the toy, put it down to use the bathroom, and when she got out, you had the toy.

• Wow! I hear some upset voices.

• It sounds to me like Sean is saying "no!" in baby language.

Both older kids will generally understand from my statement what needs to be done. In the first example, Ryan will understand that pausing (as they term it) playing with a toy to use the bathroom is one of our House Rules. Now maybe he saw that she went to the bathroom; maybe not. It really doesn't matter whether I interrogate him to determine if he grabbed the toy maliciously or mistakenly. I observe; he is reminded of the rule. He knows what to do--give the toy back. I only need to be involved further if he is unwilling to do the right thing.

One thing that's happening more often lately is that Sean is getting in on the fighting action. He's 17 months old now. He has a clear idea of the fact that HE should get to play with the toys around here and that HE needs to be doing what the Big Kids are doing. He's still very little though, and doesn't know how to control his impulses. He's learning appropriate behavior (no grabbing, no hitting, etc.). He's pretty verbal for a guy his age, but he's still unable to communicate his desires and needs in a clear coherent way. So I find myself stepping in to interpret for the older kids.

• Do you hear him screaming like that? That's his way of telling you he doesn't like it when you do that. (Followed up by telling Sean: "Sean, you can say 'NO!' ")

• I see Sean is trying to grab that toy. That's his way of asking for a turn. ("Sean, you can say 'My turn, please!' ")

• I noticed that when you guys are running around, Sean likes to run, too. He wants to be one of the Big Kids. Can you think of a way he can be included?

In those situations, I'm using Mirroring, with a little extra bit of interpretation for the benefit of all. Sean can't really say "My turn, please!" yet, but when I say the words for him, he's learning what he can do once he has those skills. They understand so much more than they can physically replicate at this age. So I am modeling the things I want him to learn because I know that one day, and probably soon, he will be able to say those things. In other words, I'm showing him the tools I want him to acquire when he's ready to.

What are some of the ways in which you use the Mirroring techniques?

Happy Birthday to Me!

We are back from our lovely weekend at the cabin! Personally, I think birthdays ought to transcend just the special date (yesterday) and should include the day or two before and the day or two after the big day. That way you can carpe all of the diem possible (or at least, pace yourself)!

A few highlights:

We got the cabin decorated for the holiday season. The tree looks so gorgeous and fancy. The tree we put together at home is fun and sentimental, with colorful silly ornaments that go way back to my childhood (and Brendan's, too). Lots of crazy colors and there's a story behind every ornament. I wouldn't have it any other way. But! The cabin tree is FANCY. It looks like one of the trees you might see at a department store. Its theme is simple--red and gold balls--and this year we added some cute little wooden animal ornaments--owls and chipmunks. Very cabin-y. It's not as fun as our family tree, but with the cabin decor I can indulge my desire for cutesy-ness and matchiness.

We ate at Poole's BBQ yesterday for lunch and it was yum yum yum! There's just something about hand-pulled pork at a roadside restaurant in North Georgia. And there's just something else about a barbecue place with a car that oinks all through your lunch, too. I love Georgia!

We managed to get some really cute pictures of the kids for our Christmas cards. The photo session was unusually fraught with roller coaster emotions--but we all survived intact and bonded a little bit more afterwards. :o)

Last night, I was treated to a firelight show as performed by my older kids and Kelly and her daughter. Actually even Aaron and Brendan were in on it, too. The girls performed a T-Rex/pterodactyl battle (with sound effects by Ryan), songs were sung, poems read, guitars played, marshmallows roasted. Fun!

I learned that I should probably never ever ever have more than one glass of champagne in the course of an evening. I don't know what it is about champagne, but it always messes with me. So I'm done with that! (Okay, okay, sure . . . it only took 39 years for me to figure that out, but better late than never, yes?)

I won a contest! Topsy-Techie, who I e-know because she created and manages the website Secular Homeschool, ran a contest on her blog, giving away cake decorating supplies. Since that's something I actually do many times a year, and since she was running this contest in honor of her own 39th birthday (which was one day before mine), I decided to enter. And it paid off, 'cause I won! :o) (Thanks, Topsy!)

Let's see, what else? Tons of Facebook and Twitter and blog and email and voicemail messages and phone conversations from my friends and family really made me smile. Thank you! Morgan insisted on "buying" (as in, duping Brendan into buying) me a hat for my birthday from the Army Surplus Store. For real. Yummy steaks with blue cheese. Laughing and talking with my husband and friends. A nap this afternoon.

Not a bad way to spend a weekend, actually! :o) What did you do?

Good Things, Holiday Edition (Brought to you by Procrastination)

First, before this thought falls out of my head and I forget to mention it, check out the 123rd edition of the Objectivist Round Up, hosted by my friend C. August! Guaranteed to make you THINK! (We really put out some good stuff, we OBloggers, don't we?) I'm hosting the Thanksgiving Edition next week, and I invited all Objectivist Bloggers to submit a post, especially if you've got one on the theme of Giving Justice.

We have another exciting weekend brewing. We're heading up to the cabin this afternoon (laundry- and kid-willing) to decorate it for the holidays (which is, of course, the whole reason I'm writing this blog post, so I don't have to face laundry, packing, and/or whining). This pre-holiday cabin visit typically occurs during the second weekend of November, but we couldn't do it last weekend because we had renters! This has been our best rental season yet (we're three years into it), in spite of the awfulness of the economy. I actually think that the downturn has worked out in our favor because people still have enough disposable income to take a long weekend here and there, but don't want the additional travel expenses of flying or driving for a long distance. The cabin is less than 2 hours from downtown Atlanta, fairly inexpensive especially if you split the cost among families, and of course it's gorgeous up there in the mountains! Sadly, we can't just take this extra rental income and play with it--it'll all go toward refinishing the deck sometime during the winter in preparation for next rental season.

Our cabin trip has turned into one of our family Holiday Activities, so it feels to me like the holiday season is really here. We even took Sean to see Santa at the mall the other day. I now have pictures of all three of my kids as babies and also at about a year-and-a-half with Santa. So cute. The Big Kids have never wanted to go back and see him (in the photo-op sense), although they were very helpful in getting Sean to kinda sorta smile at the camera (both Ryan and Morgan are screaming in their toddler/SC pics, evidently because they lacked two older siblings to scream and jump up and down during the photo session). Santa asked R & M what they wanted for Christmas and they jabbered his ear off. First time either of them has EVER told SC what they wanted for Christmas, which is good because now I have a couple new ideas. Ryan politely refrained from mentioning that he (Santa) is dead, not real and/or really really old. I call that a successful Santa trip!

Another Holiday Activity--my birthday, which is tomorrow! Since my birthday comes close to, but never actually on, Thanksgiving, it's always been part of the holidays. I know you celebrate it, too. The Holidays just seem a little "off" without a Jenn Birthday Celebration, right? :o) So even though we're going to the cabin ostensibly to Work Hard Like Peopleguys, we're also planning to have some fun, too. A few friends will join us, which will be nice. I'm going to try to take the kids Christmas card picture up there in the beeeeyoootiful scenery. I'm sure there will be a bottle (or two) of my favorite wine.

And then, back here on Sunday for Football! and the final push toward Thanksgiving. I'm looking forward to a light week of kid activities, the possibility of Brendan getting off of work a bit early on Wednesday (maybe?), and a fun relaxing Thanksgiving filled with good food, good friends, and of course, the Macy's Parade.

Oh yes, it's beginning to feel a lot like the Holidays! And THAT is a Good Thing. :o)

Revelation of the Day

My sweet little daughter is really really smart. She reads and can do all kinds of math and knows everything there is to know about dogs. And yet, she can hardly walk through a room without falling flat on her face, Sandra-Bullock-from-Miss-Congeniality-style. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. (But only a bit.) She just doesn't pay too much attention to her environment, and that can cause problems for all of us.

Today, I asked her to "Please move!" for about the fifth time while I was bringing groceries into the house. She then moved directly into my path--for about the fifth time. Near disaster--for about the fifth time.

So I said to her, "Honey. Do you know what I need you to do when I say 'Please move?' I need you to look with your eyes, figure out which direction I'm going in, and move AWAY from me. I need you to move in a different direction from me."

She just stared at me and said "Oooohhhhhh. Well okay! I can do that!"

Later, in another situation, I asked her to "Please move out my way!" and she stopped and looked around--and then moved away from me. It was a glorious thing!

So which of us had the revelation? I'd say we both did, don't you think? Because I'm pretty smart, too, and it never once occurred to me that she needed me to explain that!

Another Bloggy Milestone

Today, according to Sitemeter, I reached 75,000 hits! Lucky # 75,000 was a visitor from Rangoon, Myanmar. Pretty cool.

In honor of this occasion, and partly inspired by some recent Twittering, I thought I'd share with you some of the most amusing search phrases that have brought people to my blog recently.

In any given week, I get quite a few hits from people searching phrases you might expect if you've read my blog at all for any length of time. Some of these phrases include:

• American Community Survey and other Census-related queries
  

• Discipline without punishment

• Leaving Dish Network (or downgrading Dish Network)

• I hate Quickbooks

• Ayn Rand and children

Okay, pretty predictable. I think it's hilarious, though, that I still get so much traffic from my snarky Quickbooks and Dish Network posts. :o)


But now for some more amusing search phrases (from the last three weeks or so):

• what is the rational fear name for dust mites (Dur. Dust-mite-phobia!)

• the benefits to using force on your child (Force? Or The Force?)

• what is the limit to what parents can force their children to do (You know something? I've been wondering the same thing myself.)

• your the parent they are the child end of story car seat (So "car seat" is sort of the Epilogue in this tale.)

• what and where are barrens in a suv infiniti qx4 located? (If I knew what barrens are, I could maybe help you. However if you mean "bairns" then they're located in the back, strapped in their car seats.)
  

• how to use the force in real life (Well, see, first you gotta have midichlorians. Then you need to visit Yoda for some training. And then you gotta construct your light saber. And then you need to realize that hokey religions and ancient weapons are just really no match for a good blaster at your side, give the whole thing up, maybe go to graduate school, and find another career.)

• lyrics for epipen (O Epipen, O Epipen, thy needle's so life-saving!)

• numia vs outright (Numia. Every time.)

• forcing ones will upon child (Mine prefers if I force twenties on him. He gets richer quicker that way.)

• little my works might and despair (Might what? I'm dying to know. Is that why there's despair, because of the not knowing what the works might do?)
  

• does a girl like me if she hugs and clings to me? (Yes.)

• polian godboy (WTF?)

• punishing kids bare feet (Well, mine act like wearing shoes is a punishment, so can't help you there.)

• what's the most hated phrase parents use on kids (I just asked the kids. Ryan's answer: "Clean up." Morgan's answer: "Washing." There you go!)

• i'm going to disneyland with my friends were each paying for our selfs how much money shold i take (Answer: Take out a mortgage. That'll last you about three days.)
  

However you got here, thanks for coming!

Joke(s) of the Day

Morgan: "Knock knock!"

(Okay, see? Here's the thing. My kids do NOT understand the point of knock-knock jokes.)

Me: "Who's there?"

M: "Banana."

(ESPECIALLY this particular knock-kn0ck joke.)

Me: "Banana Who?"

M: "Knock knock!"

Me: "Who's there?"

(She says absentmindedly, looking for a parking space.)

M: "Banana!" (giggle)

Me: "Banana Who?"

M: "Knock knock!!!!!"

Me: "Who's there?"

M: "Orange!"

(What the . . . !?!?!?!? Is she going to get it right?)

Me, trying not to get too excited: "Orange Who?"

Morgan, triumphantly: "Orange ya glad I didn't say 'Banana?' "

I was shocked. Shocked! In all of her time on this planet, she has never once told this joke correctly. It was awesome!

She giggled and started again. I eagerly played along.

Morgan: "Knock knock!"

Me: "Who's there?"

M: "Banana."

Me: "Banana Who?"

M: "Knock knock!"

Me: "Who's there?"

M: "Banana."

Me: "Banana Who?"

M: "Knock knock!"

Me: "Who's there?"

M: "Chocolate Milk!"

Me: "Uh, Chocolate Milk Who?"

M: "Chocolate Milk ya glad I didn't say 'Banana?' "

Me: :::headsteeringwheel:::

But, hey, she did it once!

Funny Conversation of the Day

The kids and I always have the most interesting conversations in the car. Here's a taste of our conversation on the way to Taekwondo, as faithfully as I can render it. I even wrote down notes about this conversation right after it ended, so I could make sure to capture the nuance. :o)


Ryan, out of the blue: I've made up my mind--I'm never going to get married!

Me: Why not?

R: I'm just not that kind of a guy.

Me: Oh. [chuckles inwardly]

Morgan: Well you HAVE to get married so you can have kids.

R: Well I don't want them either. I've got other things I want to do.

Me: That's cool. You don't have to get married and have a family to be happy. You can be happy without those things, and everyone has to decide for themselves what will make them happiest. [Leaving out the fact that you technically don't need to be married to actually produce children, partly because it was hard to get a word in.]

Morgan: Well I'M going to get married. I have a plan.

Me: What's that?

M, giggling, turned to Ryan and said: I'm going to marry Dad and then that way I'll present you as your STEPMOTHER! [She actually said it like that: "present you."]

R: No no no Morgan. That'll never work, you know why?

M: No. Why?

R, gesturing with superiority: Um, what about her, you know, MOM? Dad can't be married to both of you at the same time. You're only allowed to be married to one person at a time.

M: Oh.

R: Besides, Morgan, Dad would go crazy. What if Mom says "Brendan, I need your help on the computer NOW!" but then you're like, "I need help, too!" And then Dad is all "I'm going crazy, too many people need help on the computer, aaaaggghh!" [Evidently a husband's main job is to help the wife on the computer. Don't judge--it works for us! :o) ]

Me: So Ryan, why do you say you're not the kind of guy who would want to get married?

R: Well, I know lots of beautiful girls, but I'd be so embarrassed to ask them to marry me.

Me: [?!?!?!?!?]

R: Also, what if the Mom's sick and there are kids to take care of? What would I do? It's too much for me to handle!

Me: Mom? You mean me?

R, flustering: No . . . I mean . . . the girl, you know, the WIFE. What if she gets sick and I have to take care of the kids? No WAY.

Me: Ah, I see. [I am SO GOOD at not laughing, btw. Years of practice.]

R: Also, I'd be WAY too embarrassed to be in the wedding. Everyone looking at you and stuff.

Me: Well, I understand why you might feel like that. You don't have to have a big wedding ceremony you know, like our friends, and Nonnie.

Morgan, who had obviously been thinking about the fact that she can't marry Dad: Well, I'M going to get married. I'm going to get married to a GIRL! [Heh. Dad's always going to be her number one man, I guess!]

Ryan, with more superiority: Um, you can't marry a GIRL, Morgan. You can't get any babies that way!

M: Why not?

R: Well you need sperm to make a baby! And two girls canNOT make sperm. Where are you going to get the SPERM, Morgan?

M: Well, K and K are married and THEY'RE both girls and THEY have children! [K and K are our two babysitters, who are roommates, both of whom have boyfriends and neither of whom has children. But evidently Morgan has decided that they're married to each other! I'm not quite sure if they'll see the humor in that or not. I think they would.]

Me: Well, no. They're roommates, honey. They share an apartment, but they're not married and they don't have kids. But you know, two girls can make a baby if they borrow some sperm. [OMG! Why did I say that?!?!?!?!?]

R: What in the world? How does THAT happen?!?!?!?

Aaaaand then we arrived at Taekwondo! I'm certain that there will be many follow up conversations. If they're entertaining at all, I'll let you know. Stay tuned!

Non-Punitive Discipline Keeps Me Honest

I've mentioned many times that my using Positive Discipline strategies with my kids is good for me, too. I think PD is great for my kids, and they are the primary concern here, that I'm raising them in a way that will encourage them to develop self-discipline and get a lot of practice in decision-making and problem-solving.

But PD is great for me, too, because when I am focusing on parenting in a non-punitive way (leading and guiding rather than punishing and bribing), then I am using the virtues, too. I have an example from yesterday that I hope will illustrate this.

We were invited to a birthday party for two of the kids' homeschool friends. The party was about an hour away, and was scheduled to last for many hours. It was at a pumpkin farm, and included a corn maze and hayrides and roasting hot dogs and s'mores. We really like these girls and all of the families who would be in attendance, and naturally, we're big fans of open fires and s'mores, too. We ALL were looking forward to attending.

In the morning, we talked about our plans for the day, and everyone was super-excited about the party. But the house was also in its usual disaster state. I pointed this out to everyone and said we needed to get things back in some kind of order before we left for the party. Suddenly, people who were, only moments before, attempting to scale the walls Spider-Man-style, began exhibiting the energy and physical strength levels of decrepit little old ladies. "I'm tired!" "I can't move my legs!" Etc. Not too unusual, really. And oh, how they were pitiful.

After enduring this for a while and getting little help, I started to say, "If you won't help, we won't go!" In other words, I considered offering a punishment (skipping the party) for this non-cooperation. Because I was mad and because that's what my parents (and indeed, many parents) would have done.

And I can't really fault them for that, because I completely understand that feeling of needing something not-so-fun to get done, and holding the super-fun thing out there as a bribe, and threatening to take it away as a consequence. Not that the party wasn't a great motivation--it was, for all of us. In fact, it was such a great motivator that it didn't even need a threat of removal for it to remain motivating.

But instead of issuing the threat, I considered these questions (in my own head):

• Why am I mad?

• Do I really want to attend the party? (rational self-interest question)

• Am I prepared to skip the party? If so, what are the reasons I'm willing to skip the party for?

• What is it that I really want here? Why?

And my answers (also in my head, although I have been known to talk to myself--I know, sign of impending insanity, yes? Isn't that from Zork?):

• I'm mad because there's too much to do and I really need help. Also it's not fair if I'm the one cleaning up everything myself. Boo! Hiss!

• Yes, I do, in fact, really really want to go. My homeschool friends will be there, and we'll get to spend more time talking than we do at our weekly co-op, in a more relaxed setting. It's a gorgeous day, a little warm, and we're not going to have many more days like this. I'd like to spend it outside with our friends.

• Yes, I'm prepared to skip the party--but only for sudden or contagious illness, something emergent with Brendan's work (although I'm also prepared to take the kids myself), or some other unforeseen emergency. I'm also prepared to skip in cases of Extreme Whine, but nobody's even close to that just yet--plus I'd also have to take the desires of the others into account. I'd probably not skip altogether in that case, I'd leave the offending child home with Brendan.

• What I really really want here, is some help cleaning up. Why? Because I hate returning home to a messy house, especially if I know we had had time to make a dent in the disaster before we left. It will stress me out if I think about it at the party, and interfere with my ability to have fun. I also might feel really resentful at the kids at the party, and that feeling will make it hard for all of us to enjoy the party. Also, it will stress me out thinking about the mess and non-cooperation on the drive home, and when walking into the house. I know everyone will be cranky and tired because it will be late. I don't want to have even more stress in that situation.

These thoughts didn't go through my head all at once like that, and it took probably 20 minutes before I figured out my actual reason for wanting to get the cleaning done before leaving: that Thinking about the Mess will Stress Me Out and Make Me Feel Resentful, Which Will Interfere with Our Fun.

Once I figured it out, I just told the kids the honest reason--I don't want to be thinking about the mess at home. That will make it hard for me to enjoy the party. I don't want to be grumpy at the party.

Ryan was much more willing to assist me after that. Much. Morgan, not-so-much, but that's partly because she's four (and-a-half!, she'd insist I add). However, even she helped out a little more after that.

We had to work quickly so we'd have time to eat lunch and go to Target before the party, and knowing we had this party ahead of us was good motivation. We got things kinda picked up--not perfect, but enough for my peace of mind--and had a lovely time at the party.

If I'd just said "Help me clean up or we're not going to the party." then I might have received about as much actual assistance as I did, possibly even a little bit more. But there would have been many things wrong about that strategy. I really wanted to go--so it would have been hard to follow through on that threat. And if I did, then I wouldn't get to do something I really wanted to (I get to have self-interest, too!). Honestly, I wanted to go badly enough that I really might not have followed through on the threat--which would then have demonstrated that I don't really mean what I say, setting us all up for problems in the long-run (especially if I gave empty threats regularly).

Yes, I might have gotten more (or less, or the same) cooperation if I'd held out the carrot and was prepared to use a stick. And it would have taken a whole lot less time, too. Trust me when I tell you how close I was to doing it--how tempting it was.

But because I took a few extra minutes to introspect and think about MY desires and needs, I think we're better off for it. I was completely honest with the kids about why I wanted the cleaning up to be done before we left. I phrased this in terms of my rational self-interest: I'd be stressed, grumpy, etc. This way they get to see me as someone who gets to have self-interest (as opposed to just "Mom").

I also expressed my thoughts in a calm way, not in a stressed out grumpy way, because my focus was simply on communicating to them with honesty. I wasn't emotion-less, but I was not merely dumping my emotions onto them in a mean way. This is still something I'm learning how to do.

My being completely honest with them was also a demonstration of that virtue, and integrity as well. That was a good way to model the virtues I want them to embrace.

Also, I was treating them the way I'd treat anyone--Brendan, my friends, other adults. I was not talking down to them, using my parental authority (with the threat of force to back it up by taking away a fun opportunity as a punishment) to make them obey me. In expressing my emotions in a calm, honest, rational way, explaining the situation as I saw it, I was implicitly saying to them "This is something I'm confident that you can understand. I know you'll work with me here."

In other words, I was appealing to their rationality. Of course, with kids, that rationality isn't always something they'll choose to use--their minds are still new and brains are immature, but they are developing their minds all the time. It's always worth it, I think, to see if the light is ON and appeal to their reason first. In doing so, I can simultaneously model how rational adults treat each other and treat them rationally. Win-Win.

And I think that Ryan at least, saw my point, understood the truth of it (Mom sure does get freaked out about returning home to a mess.), and also saw the fairness of it (There's a lot to clean up and she needs us to help.). Which is why after I told him what I wanted and needed and why, he got more cooperative. He is old enough to begin to appreciate this in a more mature way. Morgan's not there yet, but I'm hopeful that when she's seven (and-a-half!) she'll be there, too. Sean is still the caboose--but I actually got the most cooperation from him--he loves the Put Things In the Box game, and is young enough to just take my suggestion and try to do it. I'll miss that when it's gone. :o)

I'm so glad I handled this issue that way, and I'm also glad I wrote it up--maybe this blog post will help me remember to do more of this!

Objectivist Round Up #122

Welcome to the 122nd Edition of the Objectivist Round Up! This week's Round Up might also be known as the Better Late than Never Edition, or possibly the Brought to You by Technical Difficulties Edition. Due to some restricted internet access, Miranda of Ramen & Rand was not able to host this week, but I'm happy to fill in.

The Objectivist Round Up is a weekly compilation of blog articles by Objectivist bloggers. If you are wondering about Objectivism is all about, look no further than the Ayn Rand Institute, or even better, Ayn Rand's fiction and non-fiction works. In 1962, she described Objectivism in this way:

At a sales conference at Random House, preceding the publication of Atlas Shrugged, one of the book salesmen asked me whether I could present the essence of my philosophy while standing on one foot. I did as follows:

1. Metaphysics: Objective Reality
2. Epistemology: Reason
3. Ethics: Self-interest
4. Politics: Capitalism

If you want this translated into simple language, it would read: 1. “Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed” or “Wishing won’t make it so.” 2. “You can’t eat your cake and have it, too.” 3. “Man is an end in himself.” 4. “Give me liberty or give me death.”

If you held these concepts with total consistency, as the base of your convictions, you would have a full philosophical system to guide the course of your life.

And without further ado, here is this week's Round Up!

Doug Reich presents Update: "Stimulus" Can Not Work and Reality is Still What It Is posted at The Rational Capitalist, saying, "Here is some almost comical evidence why robbing Peter to pay Paul is not good for the economy."

Adam Reed presents The Prosecutors and the Astrologer posted at Born to Identify, saying, "And this is the payback of Kantian philosophy: reality is not knowable; the best that Justice can do is trial by combat, and in combat nothing counts except the result. And when the stars or the Gods have spoken, innocent men who have had the better part of their lives taken from them may have no recourse at all."

Jared Rhoads presents Let insurers actually compete posted at The Lucidicus Project, saying, "Congress needs to enact health reform measures that will allow health insurance companies to actually compete. We do not need more government controls!"

Joseph Kellard presents What About The Reds? posted at The American Individualist.

Paul McKeever presents Inverted Morality Yeilds Backward Questions posted at Paul McKeever.

Jim Woods presents Gingrich v. Government Health Care? posted at Words by Woods, saying, "Newt Gingrich, Speaker Pelosi, and the Democrat sponsored health care proposals share an invalid view of the proper role of government."

Pomponazzi presents Honor or Ghairat? posted at Pomponazzi ponders.

Daniel presents The (New) Rebel posted at The Nearby Pen, saying, "Here's a very short poem I wrote, on the type of rebel that shrugs--with obvious inspiration from Tennyson."

Benjamin Skipper presents Not You Too Alton Brown! posted at Benpercent, saying, "Alton Brown is a great chef and educator, but unless he rethinks his position that the government is the solution to unsustainable fishing then he could very well leave us all off for the worse."

Paul Hsieh presents Fat In Japan? You're Breaking The Law posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "The Japanese nanny state -- will this be America's future under universal health care?"

C. August presents Charting Socialism posted at Titanic Deck Chairs, saying, "Here is a quick look at a fascinating flow chart depicting the evolution of socialist strategies."

Mike Zemack presents "Tear Down This Wall" posted at Principled Perspectives, saying, "Did Ayn Rand help inspire the Reagan policies that led to the collapse of the Soviet Union?"

Diana Hsieh presents Response to Intellectual Smears posted at NoodleFood, saying, "I respond to some nutty criticisms of Ayn Rand, and ask whether I should have done what I did."

Paul McKeever presents Remembrance / Veteran's Day posted at Paul McKeever.

Jason Stotts presents Religulous posted at Erosophia, saying, "I finally got around to watching Religulous. I heartily recommend it."

Stephen Bourque presents Massacre at Fort Hood posted at One Reality, saying, "Are we supposed to believe that post-traumatic stress is the source of last week’s massacre at Fort Hood?"

Doug Reich presents Let's Worry About the Lash More Than The Backlash posted at The Rational Capitalist, saying, "The government ignored evidence that a psychopath was conspiring with the enemy but sprung into action once "diversity" was questioned."

Ross Holcombe presents Life, Liberty, and...Health Care? posted at The Undercurrent, saying, "Do we have a right to health care? What is a right, and what do we have a right to?"

Doug Reich presents Cuffy Meigs, Meet Bernie Madoff posted at The Rational Capitalist, saying, "Is the Madoff scandal an example of a lack of regulation?"

That concludes this week's edition. Titanic Deck Chairs will host next week's round up. To participate, submit your blog article using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page. Thanks for reading!

Technorati tags:

objectivist round up, blog carnival.

My Day in Tweets

I had a fun day on Twitter, so I thought I'd share.

It started off like this:

Really need to get going on some housework, but flirting with my hubby on the email instead. :o)

A couple hours later:

Just said: "Do not put chicken down your pants!"

To which @foodphilosophy responded:

This is why I have plants instead of spawn. RT @rationaljenn: Just said: "Do not put chicken down your pants!"

Then, in the afternoon, I experienced a problem that will be familiar to parents of more than one child:

Mom Dilemma: Settle baby back to sleep, or put a stop to forbidden water hose fight going on outside? Right. Sleep now. Mud later.

I was STUCK there, trying to get Sean back to sleep, listening to shouts of delight in the backyard.

Sometimes I divide in order to conquer. Sometimes when they're divided, I'm the one who's conquered. #ihavethreekids

Trying hard not to think about how insanely messy and wet they are. Not succeeding. #imoutnumberedandtheyknowit

Oh dear. One of them just shouted "Let's make a moat!" Whyohwhy won't the baby settle all the way back down? #mommyreallyneedsacocktail

Aaaaand now Ryan's talking about a waterfall.... #goingtomyhappyplacenow

Finally, Sean just woke up and I took a couple of pictures:

http://twitpic.com/pdy1k - Morgan makes a waterfall....


http://twitpic.com/pdy62 - ...that stretches all the way to the other side of the yard.

And evidently I amused several people, each of whom took the time to write. My response:

@9to5to9 @foodphilosophy @deejf @aparentleigh :D If you can't get completely filthy once in a while, then what's the point of being a kid?

Another of my tweeps (@LoCoallergylife) picked up on a tag I used, and tweeted:

DS off the bus w/golden behavior ticket, that he really didn't win. He convinced his friend to split it with him #mommyreallyneedsacocktail

And that got me thinking . . . wouldn't it be AWESOME if this tag caught on? We had a quick tweet-conference and shortened it to #mommyneedsacocktail.


Somewhere along the way, we did a little book-learning today. Here's something they learned:

Discussed Achilles & Hector today. R now irritating M by shouting "HECTOR HECTOR HECTOR" in her face. #littlelearningisdangerousthing

Heh.


I'm eager to get rocking with this new tag! So far, I've tweeted:

Hubby home in 15 minutes! Best part of the week! #mommyneedsacocktail


My kids used the garden hose to create waterfall/moat/muddy river in backyard! #mommyneedsacocktail


Incessant arguing all through Family Movie Night means . . . wait for it . . . #mommyneedsacocktail !

Whatcha think? And YAY for having an iPhone, for otherwise all of my brilliant cleverity would be amusing only me. See how I like to share? :D

Fun day.

Eric Daniels at UGA!

This just in (via the Ayn Rand Institute):

The Morality of Capitalism

Who: Dr. Eric Daniels is a research assistant professor at Clemson University’s Institute for the Study of Capitalism

What: A talk arguing that capitalism is the only moral social system, and that a proper moral defense is vital to its survival

Where: Zell B. Miller Learning Center (MLC), Room 171, University of Georgia, Athens, GA 30602

When: Thursday, November 19, 2009, at 7:00 p.m.

Description: Despite the enormous success of American capitalism at producing material abundance and political freedom, critics continue their assault on the system, calling it immoral. In this lecture, Dr. Eric Daniels makes the case that capitalism is the only moral social system. He also examines the conventional defense of capitalism, which relies on the practical, economic argument, and illustrates why only a defense of pure laissez-faire capitalism can succeed.

Admission: FREE. Open to students and the public.

Bio: Dr. Eric Daniels is a research assistant professor at Clemson University’s Institute for the Study of Capitalism. He has lectured internationally on American history, particularly on American intellectual history, business history and political history. He taught for five years at Duke University’s Program on Values and Ethics in the Marketplace, where he was nominated for a university-wide teaching award. Dr. Daniels was a contributor to the recently published Oxford Companion to United States History, and wrote a chapter in The Abolition of Antitrust. He has appeared on C-SPAN and Voice of America Radio.

More information: Please e-mail McKinley Vitale, president of the University of Georgia Objectivism Club, at mckinleyav@gmail.com.

I won't be able to make this one. Let me know how it is, if you go!

Sigh. Cable.

The Cable Peopleguy is coming this afternoon. I'm not sure how I feel about it actually.

We ditched satellite last February, the day after the Super Bowl, to save money and get rid of the time-sucking temptation of television. It has worked really well. We still watch tv shows (yay, Hulu!) and movies, but we are very deliberate about it. There's no television-on-in-the-background accidental tv-watching. And I love that!

Although if truth must be told (and of course it must), I am not the person who typically has a problem finding the "OFF" switch (ahem, Brendan). But still, even I would become sucked in occasionally, especially if they were having one of those Cake-Decorating-to-the-Death Contests where bakers create impossibly large and dangerous pastries and then try to move them across the room without giving themselves a hernia or injuring any innocent bystanders in the studio audience. (And that's before it's even consumed, hah!) Talk about suspense.

We have enjoyed the extra money and time. I've barely missed television at all. The kids sometimes missed it, but as fate would have it, they already own about eleventy-gazillion DVDs. Also, the fact that the Television Channel Peopleguys were the ones who got to choose the next show never really sat too well with them. I mean, why should they get a turn? Why can't we watch Scooby Doo right now? Why do we have to wait for 11:30 am tomorrow? What kind of game are they running here? And what's with the commercials anyhow?

So why are we getting cable? In a word: Football.

Brendan misses football and has wandered around life this season with a pining, poignant expression on his face. And I've missed it, too. I'm not a super big football fan, but I do enjoy it, and I've missed not having the games going in the background on a Sunday afternoon. Brendan found that NBC streams Sunday Night Football and we've watched those a couple of times. My need for a game on in the background was satisfied, but that pining expression on Brendan's face never quite went away. And to add salt to the wound, his favorite teams are doing really well this year. And then, what about Thanksgiving? Would Thanksgiving be the same without football going all day? Honestly, it would not. Truly. (Not to mention the Macy's parade, which the kids and I like to watch.) And then the playoffs? My god, what about the playoffs!?!?!?!?

So I found a really good deal ($34 a month for HD, for only one cable outlet, which is a bargain around here) with no contract. The rate is good for 6 months--more than enough to take us through football season. I'm still planning to cancel it the day after the Super Bowl again--unless there's another to-the-death bake-off I can't miss.

Now I've got to go clean up so the Cable Peopleguy can actually walk into our family room without killing himself. And I hate to say it, but we really do have plans on Sunday afternoon already, so we won't get to experience the full football effect until Monday Night Football (sorry, sweetie!).

Soldiers on Saturday!

Wow. It's as if the Peopleguys at the Southern Museum of Civil War and Locomotive History went out of their way to set up an event just for Ryan. Guess what we're doing on Saturday?

It's called Through the Ages: A Living History Timeline

Experience living and military history up close and personal! See first-hand weapon demonstrations from swords to cannons and rifles, as well as military vehicles and flag displays.

You'll see soldiers - from Romans to World Wars I and II and modern day! Experience daily life throughout time from farming to doll making to metalworking. You'll even get to meet historical characters like Abraham Lincoln and Queen Elizabeth I. It’s happening right here in Kennesaw!

Adult admission ($5) and children 4-12 ($3). Kids FREE 3 and under!

If you're going to be in north Atlanta this weekend (and of course you are, yes?), then click here for more information.

Roman soldiers! Can you imagine?

A Bloggy Milestone

I'm not sure what it is about numbers-ending-in-zero--why they're more noteworthy than, say, numbers-ending-in-eight--but there is a certain mystique about the zero, isn't there?

Just now I noticed that there are 200 subscribers to Rational Jenn via Google Reader! WOO! Welcome, and hi, and thanks for reading and commenting. That is rather a large-ish number.

I also have 44 followers via Blogger, and I'm sure there are other subscribers via other feed readers. So WOO! and Hello to you, too! (Does anybody know if there's one place you can go to determine a blog's total subscriber-ship?)

Thanks again for stopping by! And I'll endeavor to write something semi-interesting soon to entice you to keep coming back. In fact, I'm considering several topics right now, since I have a lot of laundry and housework I really ought to be doing I am fully dedicated to keeping my readers (not to mention ME!) semi-interested in this blog. :o)