Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Where Do You Keep Your Valuables?

Brendan just came down from putting Ryan to bed. They are currently well into Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and things are getting pretty exciting ("Enemies of the Heir, Beware!").

Ryan loves to have flashlights, glowsticks, and other luminaries in his room, in his bed, on his person. (We recommended getting LED flashlights because they don't go through nearly as many batteries.) After Brendan left Ryan's room, we heard him calling frantically to Brendan. Brendan of course headed back up, being a chump decent fellow and outstanding father. (Hi sweetie!)

Turns out, Ryan could not locate his flashlight, which is, naturally, a disaster of epic proportions. The flashlight was found and given back, with the suggestion that perhaps he ought to keep it turned on, what with it being easier to find in the dark that way. That suggestion (as most of our suggestions are, on principle) was immediately and soundly rejected as obviously inadequate.

Brendan: "Why can't the light be on?"

Ryan: "Well, if the light is on, it keeps me awake!" (Hmmm.)

Brendan: "Yes, that's a problem alright. Why don't you just hold it in your hand then?"

Ryan, with the air of offering a brilliant suggestion to a person who just. doesn't. get it: "No, I don't want to do that. Tell you what I'll do, Dad. I'll just keep it by my penis."

Brendan: "Alrighty then. Good night!"

I guess he figures if he keeps it there, he'll always know just where it is? I don't know. I'm just the Mommy.


Marnee said...

oh god you have given me the giggles, mommy.

Dan Edge said...

What's so funny? That's where I keep all my stuff I don't want to lose...

--Dan Edge

The Shepcarpclan said...

Lol, too funny.

Rational Jenn said...

I am STILL giggling over this one myself. It's just so....male of him!

I suppose if I felt that way about my cleavage then I'd be keeping a lot more things in there. But I just...don't.

As the mom of a boy, I have a bunch of penis stories. Do you think I could compile them and then it will catch on and be as popular as The Vagina Monologues?

The Shepcarpclan said...

Oh my gosh, now I am really giggling. I am a mother of 3 boys and two girls I could easily contribute to that book. One story involving my husbands toothbrush, a two year old boy and a houseguest comes to mind.

Dan Edge said...


I think if you tried to publish a book titled The Little Boy's Penis Monologues, you might get arrested.

--Dan Edge

Rational Jenn said...


True, true. I actually thought of that, so I've been tentatively calling it "Wee Willie Winky: Stories of Boyhood Wisdom" in my head. Something like that anyway!

I have one friend with 2 boys and another with 4. I'm sure there are countless hysterical penis stories out there. Might actually do that! Might be a fun blog.