Friday, November 23, 2007

One Of Those Days

I have had one of Those afternoons with Ryan. After the Battle of Lunch was finally over, we all settled down to see the new Backyardigans DVD we got (very cute, as always). It was relatively peaceful for a time.

And then, without any warning whatsoever, I was asked an (I think) impossible question to which there can be no satisfactory answer and that set him off again. Here's the question:

Can the strongest man in the world lift up a peeing horse?

Yeah. You read that right. Feel free to read it again a few more times just to make sure.

When I replied that no, I didn't think so, I was immediately met with:

But MOM! I'm talking about the Strongest Man in the World!!!!!

By the way, The Strongest Man in the World is usually Daddy, so Brendan, get ready for some tough feats of strength this weekend.

When I rather blandly insisted that no, I didn't think ANY man could possibly lift up any horse, peeing or no, he switched tactics:

But what if the horse is pooping?

!?!?!?!?! I cannot possibly begin to fathom what is going on inside his head.

Well, all that debate over the lifting up of peeing horses got him generally riled up and he's been ornery ever since. Also, he has insisted on going "commando" today because he "just wanted to try it." And I'm sorry, but I'm just so tired of looking at his butt crack. It's a cute little butt crack, but still.



Charlie said...

Because this is a very serious question that deserves a very serious answer, I did some research.

Horses can weigh anywhere from probably 400-500 lbs, to over 1,500 lbs, depending on breed. The average "light riding horse" that we're likely most familiar with is in the 800-1,000 lb range. I'd guess a small riding pony at a petting zoo would be in the 500-800 range. See wikipedia for some reference material.

The world record for a deadlift is 899 lbs. The squat world records are all near or over 1,000 lbs.

So could the world's strongest man truly lift a horse? Yes (depending on the breed of the horse, or course).

We'll have to lay some groundrules here and postulate that the horse is amenable to being lifted and doesn't move during the event.

Peeing and pooping may complicate things a bit, but not much. Primarily, it would be gross, because the strongman would presumably be under the horse, in a direct line of fire of the urine stream. Pooping would be less of an issue, though it would certainly be stinky.

Assuming that the strongman could handle being peed on and didn't lose his balance or slip, I think the answer to Ryan's question is YES!

softwareNerd said...

Sounds like he was composing a little joke, and trying to make it realistic.

Rational Jenn said...

Charlie, I stand corrected! (And I'm laughing very hard over your research--thanks.) I just told Ryan about your research and he got all excited and said, "Yesss! He knows my Dad!" I reminded him of our annual get-togethers and he said, "That's right! Like I said, he knows my Dad!" Also, he said to me "You were wrong and I was right!" Not going to be the first time.

SN--I asked him if it was a joke--and he says "Yes, because if the Strongest Man in the World lifted up a peeing horse, then, Nonsense! He'd get covered in pee!" I'm wrong again, alas! Although the other day he was DEAD serious to the point of belligerence. I'm glad to say we can see the Funny in it.

He is a very funny guy. Funnnaaayy!

Brendan--get ready to demonstrate your feat of strength when you get home today. Don't think you'll get out of it this time.

brendan said...

I've already drawn up some mental plans for a platform, a series of pulleys, and some 1000-lb test-strength steel rope (thanks for the specs, Charlie).

I should be able to not only lift the peeing horse, but also do it without getting wet.

I'll be stopping at The Home Depot on the way home, so I may be a little late.

OH -- and a stable. Do you think I could RENT the horse?