Monday, November 05, 2007

Sounds Like A Case Of The Mondays

Wow--what a day! First may I say that this daylight savings nonsense is . . . nonsense! Nothing bears repeating like stupid government tricks. It's about 5:45 and it's nearly dark outside! I'm inclined to agree with Chris--it's now officially winter. We are supposed to get our first frost on Wednesday morning, so I think that today is our last day for shorts (for those of us likely to wear shorts, i.e. Morgan).

But about today. After a slow start, I actually got a lot of productive things done around here this morning. See, I screwed up my back on Friday and pretty much spent all weekend sitting with a heating pad, trying to remain as still as possible. It was good timing in a way because we had been planning a day of Sitting in homage of the Gods of Football. But really, me sitting around all weekend = not-so-much done around the house.

I am able to move around today fairly well, and as long as I don't attempt any gymnastics, roof climbing, or have to lug around toddlers for any length of time, I'll be fine. Guess which of those I got to do today?

Ryan was in ├╝ber-whine mode after lunch and just when I was about to break out a can of Mommy Whoop-ass, he decided to tell me that his ear hurt. As we are on day 12 of a nasty cold, it could only be an ear infection, but don't let ME tell you that. No no. Let me tell the pediatric nurse over the phone, and then let me tell the other nurse after we got there, and then let me tell the doctor and THEN let there be an ear infection. Oh, and that's after Morgan fell asleep in the car on the way over. She did manage to lose a shoe while we were there; she only woke up for the last 7.5 minutes of the appointment, and somehow managed to lose a shoe!

We got our prescription, spent 10 minutes locating Morgan's missing shoe, and got the heck out of Germ City the pediatrician's office. I know they've got to follow rules and all, but still it's really annoying to KNOW what's wrong with my kid and not be able to get him meds for it because I never bothered to go to medical school. (What? I had other things to do!)

The trip to the grocery store took about 9 hours because evidently somebody allowed the Three Stooges to manage the road construction and detour on Highway 92. It is a Cardinal Rule of mine: NEVER drive on Highway 92, even if someone is bleeding to death. Especially if someone is bleeding to death. Well, I broke my own Cardinal Rule and was very very vividly reminded of why I had that Cardinal Rule in the first place. I will not sin again.

"Oh Sweet Jesus" I murmured to myself in the car.

"Sweet cheeses?" asked Morgan.

We finally made it to the grocery store where I was pleasantly surprised by (initial) Ryan Cooperation and Morgan Keeping Her Shoes On. We dropped off the prescription and then went off to get some necessary life supplies: frozen waffles and more heating pads for my back. We browsed around but forgot to say 'hello' to the lobsters (shhh . . . don't tell the kids, they haven't noticed yet). Everybody was very grabby today; they were riding in a cart where they could both be strapped in. Morgan, I've come to expect, well, complete destruction from her just about wherever we go, but Ryan is usually pretty good. However, today, he kept leaning out of the cart and swinging his arms out as if to grab stuff off the shelves or poke people. Maybe his balance is off due to the ear infection. I swear that child could not sit straight. We went back to the pharmacy, which was empty not 10 minutes before, to discover approximately 192 people crowded around the tiny counter; nearly all of them were hacking up a lung.

I went to pay for the rest of my groceries and picked (what I thought was) the smartest-looking cashier. That's how you do it, you know that? Don't go with the shortest line--go with the most intelligent cashier. Well, I made a tactical error. This guy looked the part, but did not play the part of a smart cashier. The lady in front of me had about 44 coupons, each of which needed to be examined for possible counterfeit markings using his laser vision.

"Oh Merciful Zeus!" I said.

"Merst i full Shoes?" asked Morgan.

Getting through the checkout line is always adventure-filled, as all of the candy is Not For Touching since it is junk-filled, expensive, and chock full of deadly peanuts! Morgan was (unwisely) seated on the candy side. Ryan was on the conveyor belt side, and seemed hell-bent on catching his fingers in the moving belt, thus necessitating another pediatrician visit ("But, nurse! I KNOW his fingers are pinched off, do you really need to see them to diagnose it? Can't we just have the pain meds prescription?").

We finally made it back to the pharmacy, with Ryan leaning so far out of the side of the cart I was tempted to run into something hard just to give him a non-Mommy reason to Sit. The. Hell. Up. But I didn't. Instead, I held his arm in for him, which he complained about:

"But Mom, I don't like it when you do that!"

"Well, it's not my idea of fun either. Believe me, it would be a whole lot easier on ME if you'd just keep your arms in the cart."

I amuse people wherever I go, it seems. Maybe it was the crazed look on my face as I said it, but everyone at the pharmacy cracked up when I said that.

We got Ryan's prescription and huzzah! It was FREE! We drop so much money at that pharmacy, they really own us. It was a nice thing, a pleasant surprise after a stressful afternoon.

After navigating the treacherous parking lot and streets home (thankfully NOT Highway 92), we arrived home about 30 minutes ago. Since I've begun my tale of woe, it has become completely dark outside. Wrong wrong wrong. Brendan should be home any second and then we'll do dinner. I'm thinking waffles.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mondays say "Damn It".