Monday, February 25, 2008

The Talk

Well, Ryan and I had The Talk today--not that one--he already knows lots and lots about that.

I finally told him that peanuts could kill him. He looked sober and a little shocked. Not too many questions. He really handled it well, I thought.

I was a wreck though.


Flibbert said...

Wait. How did you explain that to him? Didn't he want to know how the peanuts might kill him?

And, um, continuing in my theme of being nosey and not minding my own business, why were you a wreck about this?

Rational Jenn said...

What happened was I found out he had been sneaking food--eating when I wasn't aware of it. The things in the house are safe, but mistakes get made by the manufacturers and we were talking about the need for him not to hide in his room and eat something. He said something like, "well, I'll just get sick, right?" and so I finally broke the news that there's a real possibility that he could die if he ate some peanuts by mistake, especially if I didn't know he was eating and I couldn't give him the Epi-pen in a timely manner.

He's only really begun to understand the concept of death in the last year or so--that's a difficult idea for young kids to get. It's definitely important for him to know this, and we of course were not going to hide that from him. All kids with any deathly condition need to know the deal, I think. It just came up in this conversation because it was on topic and I think he gets "death" enough to realize how bad this is. So I decided to tell him.

I was sad about telling him, because it was a moment I had been dreading since the diagnosis. He knows we're all going to die one day, but he has only recently understood that even kids and babies die sometimes--not very often, but sometimes. I think he was under the impression that death was something that only happened to really old people.

Also, he's been having a hard time with the allergy lately--typical as kids get older, I'm told. Mad and sad about it. So I was nervous about telling him.

Not to mention, Monday was a terrible day and I perhaps should have waited until my mental state was in a better place--but I had to seize the moment. And I'm sure my current crazy hormones had NOTHING to do with being sad about it either! :o)

I'm glad you asked--does my explanation make me sound less crazy? I hope so!

Rational Jenn said...

Reading that over, hmmmm...maybe I am just a little crazy after all! I blame the kid in utero!

Rational Jenn said...

And to clarify further for anyone who might be wondering...I did my "wreck" thing on the inside. I was calm and serious and matter-of-fact to him. Because an over-emotional mommy would not have helped that situation, methinks!

Perhaps I ought not to post when I'm having crazy hormonal terrible days!

piscesgrrl said...

that can't be an easy conversation to have. Sucks when our kids have to get hit with reality at such a young age. I'm sorry you have to deal with this! Scary. I carry 2 epi-pens m'self.