The kids and I always have the most interesting conversations in the car. Here's a taste of our conversation on the way to Taekwondo, as faithfully as I can render it. I even wrote down notes about this conversation right after it ended, so I could make sure to capture the nuance. :o)
Ryan, out of the blue: I've made up my mind--I'm never going to get married!
Me: Why not?
R: I'm just not that kind of a guy.
Me: Oh. [chuckles inwardly]
Morgan: Well you HAVE to get married so you can have kids.
R: Well I don't want them either. I've got other things I want to do.
Me: That's cool. You don't have to get married and have a family to be happy. You can be happy without those things, and everyone has to decide for themselves what will make them happiest. [Leaving out the fact that you technically don't need to be married to actually produce children, partly because it was hard to get a word in.]
Morgan: Well I'M going to get married. I have a plan.
Me: What's that?
M, giggling, turned to Ryan and said: I'm going to marry Dad and then that way I'll present you as your STEPMOTHER! [She actually said it like that: "present you."]
R: No no no Morgan. That'll never work, you know why?
M: No. Why?
R, gesturing with superiority: Um, what about her, you know, MOM? Dad can't be married to both of you at the same time. You're only allowed to be married to one person at a time.
R: Besides, Morgan, Dad would go crazy. What if Mom says "Brendan, I need your help on the computer NOW!" but then you're like, "I need help, too!" And then Dad is all "I'm going crazy, too many people need help on the computer, aaaaggghh!" [Evidently a husband's main job is to help the wife on the computer. Don't judge--it works for us! :o) ]
Me: So Ryan, why do you say you're not the kind of guy who would want to get married?
R: Well, I know lots of beautiful girls, but I'd be so embarrassed to ask them to marry me.
R: Also, what if the Mom's sick and there are kids to take care of? What would I do? It's too much for me to handle!
Me: Mom? You mean me?
R, flustering: No . . . I mean . . . the girl, you know, the WIFE. What if she gets sick and I have to take care of the kids? No WAY.
Me: Ah, I see. [I am SO GOOD at not laughing, btw. Years of practice.]
R: Also, I'd be WAY too embarrassed to be in the wedding. Everyone looking at you and stuff.
Me: Well, I understand why you might feel like that. You don't have to have a big wedding ceremony you know, like our friends, and Nonnie.
Morgan, who had obviously been thinking about the fact that she can't marry Dad: Well, I'M going to get married. I'm going to get married to a GIRL! [Heh. Dad's always going to be her number one man, I guess!]
Ryan, with more superiority: Um, you can't marry a GIRL, Morgan. You can't get any babies that way!
M: Why not?
R: Well you need sperm to make a baby! And two girls canNOT make sperm. Where are you going to get the SPERM, Morgan?
M: Well, K and K are married and THEY'RE both girls and THEY have children! [K and K are our two babysitters, who are roommates, both of whom have boyfriends and neither of whom has children. But evidently Morgan has decided that they're married to each other! I'm not quite sure if they'll see the humor in that or not. I think they would.]
Me: Well, no. They're roommates, honey. They share an apartment, but they're not married and they don't have kids. But you know, two girls can make a baby if they borrow some sperm. [OMG! Why did I say that?!?!?!?!?]
R: What in the world? How does THAT happen?!?!?!?
Aaaaand then we arrived at Taekwondo! I'm certain that there will be many follow up conversations. If they're entertaining at all, I'll let you know. Stay tuned!