Need Some Musical Help

Musical movies, that is. We’ve rediscovered Mary Poppins around here lately and it’s been really fun. Although I did have to ‘splain what a run on a bank was—I had forgotten about that dramatic conclusion. Morgan has jumped off of the ottoman holding her umbrella about a thousand times and I think I caught Ryan trying to imitate Dick Van Dyke’s penguin pants.

The kids have also enjoyed The Sound of Music (Nazis!), and of course, Xanadu (roller skates!) Any other classic musicals I need to get them started on? I’m thinking possibly The Music Man. But then I might have to ‘splain about con men.  Do I really want to give him ideas? :o)

Ooooh! What about 1776? Who doesn’t love some singing Founding Fathers?

(PS—this post was written in Live Writer on my new blue little netbook! Squee!)

Carnival Update

One Reality is the host of this week's Objectivist Round Up, so don't miss it!

And the Living with Food Allergies carnival will be hosted at Sure Foods Living later today. I'll be sure to update the link when I have it right now because it's up!

In food allergy news, I've been asked to participate in a Food Allergy Twitter Party on May 15, which is at the end of Food Allergy Awareness Week. I'm not exactly sure what's involved in a Twitter party, but I'm definitely interested in trying it out! By the way, you really ought to follow me on Twitter! (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Don't make me boss you.)

We've got some CrazyBusy going on today, so I'll see you later!

Tough Choices

Ryan and I had a bit of a disagreement the other afternoon that might help to illustrate how I use Positive Discipline techniques in combination with my principle of giving the kids as much choice and control over their own bodies as I possibly can.

As I mentioned in the potty training post, one of the lessons Brendan and I learned about Ryan is that he is very reluctant to take care of his bodily needs when his brain is engaged. The potty thing isn't so much of an issue anymore, outside of his tendency to drop trou and play "pee-pee light sabers" in the front yard with his next door friend--although I think they'll change it to "pee-pee Ghostbusters" after they've seen that movie: "Don't ever cross the streams!" Boys are interesting creatures.

But I digress.

But Ryan still neglects to eat, drink, or sleep when his brain is turned on and fully activated. A trait which, as a friend pointed out, comes directly straight from Brendan. See? Ryan's not All Me after all!

The other afternoon, we were all hanging outside in the front yard, and it was HOT--mid-80s, if you can believe. Ryan and Morgan had been playing outside with their friends for several hours, and he was sweaty and dirty. Good times. He complained to me about how hot he was as he was zooming past me for the hundredth time, so I said that it was probably time he took a drink of water to rehydrate and offered him my water bottle.

Immediately, "NO! I don't want to take a drink of water!"

Now, if he had just stopped with a run-of-the-mill objection, and if he hadn't looked soooooo very hot and thirsty and tired, I would not have pushed the issue. But upon observing him, I realized that it had probably been a very long time since he had had anything at all to drink. And knowing him, I realized that he might need my assistance in doing the right thing for himself.

Also, he stopped right in front of me and began barraging me with complaints and objections--because he knew what was coming! "I'm not going to drink water! You're not the boss of me! I'm in charge of my own body!" etc. etc. etc. He doth protest too much, methinks.

So I told him very calmly, "You've been outside playing for many hours in the hot sun. I can tell by the way you look and by the way you are acting that you need a drink. You need to stay hydrated when playing hard outside in the hot sun. This is something that must be done in order for you to be safe and healthy. So you have a choice--take a drink right now or go inside where it is cooler."

He: "I hate this choice! I don't wanna make this choice! Why do I always have the tough decisions?"

Me: "It seems to me like you're choosing to go inside since I haven't seen you take a drink yet. Can you go inside all by yourself, or do you need my help?"

He tried to stare me down (I think it's a Jedi thing) and I just looked back at him. Then he grabbed my water bottle, took a long drink, sat down on the grass, and began to cry.

He: "That was so mean! Why did you make me drink? I hate having all of these tough choices!"

Me: "I know you didn't want to stop and take a drink."

He: "Why do YOU always get to tell me what to do? I want to decide if I want a drink or not!"

Me: "I know you do. And usually, you ARE the one in charge of deciding when your body is thirsty. But sometimes I've noticed that when you're really busy, you don't like to stop and take care of your body--like when you don't want to eat something. I know that your body needs water when you're playing outside on a hot day--I have that information and experience and when I notice that you are not taking care of your body, then I will help you do that. It's actually my job to help you make good choices about taking care of yourself if I notice that you are not making good choices."

He had stopped crying enough to tell me: "Well, I want to decide!"

Me: "Yes, and you chose to take a drink because you didn't want to go inside. You made a good decision, since you wanted to stay outside and play some more."

He: "Well . . . I really don't like all of these tough choices I have to make ALL THE TIME."

Me: "Mmm-hhmmmm." (Thinking, well, one day you'll have a mortgage, kid!)

And then he ran off and played some more, and came and took water breaks of his own accord.

For Ryan, breaking him out of the not-good-for-him cycle really helps him get back on track, and then he really is generally amenable to making good choices.

But I also liked how I handled this issue from a PD perspective. I didn't get upset, I explained the reasoning, set the limit, and gave him a choice in what happened. I empathized with his feelings and allowed him to express them appropriately (I don't view his saying that he doesn't like something I'm doing as inappropriate--very much a different view from that of my own parents when I was a child).

I also reinforced my own principles--helping him understand the way in which I knew he was thirsty (pointing him to reality), explaining that my role as someone more experienced was to give him information he might not have, giving him as much freedom as I could before drawing the line, knowing that if I had to force him into the house that I would do it gently and calmly, and pointing out that the decision he made was a good one given his desire to continue to play outside.

I decided that this was a battle I'd be willing to "fight" because of his tendency to ignore his physical needs and because it was really pretty damn hot that day and he clearly needed a drink. This fell into the realm of personal safety--so I stepped in, in a kind and firm way, and ultimately he made a good choice.

Hello From CrazyBusy Land

I have had a love-hate relationship with our activity schedule, especially in the last few weeks. I love that the kids get to do things they enjoy--taekwondo, ballet, chess, soccer--and I love that we are able to swing those activities financially and logistically. But I am REALLY looking forward to a break. Things will be winding down soon for the summer, and I can't wait.

Once again, see how we are tied in with the school routine even though we are not in the school system? It's not really good or bad--it's just . . . interesting.

I'm finally working on pictures of all of the birthday-road trip-life in general hooplae (that's the plural of hoopla, yes?) and hope to start updating the FamBlog tonight. And I have about a dozen wonderful ideas for blog posts that I'd love to be able to have the time to write. And one of these days, I just might oughta do some laundry, too, since Ryan had a clean-underpants crisis this morning (don't worry, we found some!) and I really need to go through Ryan's toddler clothes to find some spring/summer things for Sean. Can you believe he is moving out of 12 month sized clothing and into 18 months?

In the meantime (since I know you're awaiting all of these developments with breathless anticipation!), please take a moment to write your Senators to oppose the fast-tracking of a healthcare bill through Congress. The very, very last thing our country needs right now is another enormous bill that nobody has even read shoved through Congress and down our throats at lightning speed. Especially concerning something so very important. The health insurance/medical care issue needs to be subject to open scrutinization and debate, which is, I suspect, the reason many of our lawmakers would love to push it through Congress so quickly. For more information, see the above-linked article, and this blog post at NoodleFood.

Kthxbye!

The One About Potty Training

A couple of you have asked about potty training and Positive Discipline and how that whole thing went down around here. I'm not sure I have any particular wisdom to share in this realm, since we have yet to have a smooth transition to the potty. But I'll share anyway, and perhaps you will learn from my mistakes!

I've heard of those kids who sort of potty train themselves and within a few days or weeks, after some miscalculations, mistakes, and messes, they're set! I even know several of these kids in person, so I know for a fact the existence of such creatures is not merely the stuff of playgroup mythology. Sadly for us, neither of our potty-trained children were these children.

Hmph.

The first time Ryan showed any interest at all in using the potty, he was 3 and Morgan was about 10 days old. I often wonder what would have happened if I had sucked it up--new baby, c-section post-op, and all--and just tried to get him going that very first time, if we could have avoided some of the stress and misery that lay in front of us. Oh well.

Flash forward about 9 months. Ryan, quickly approaching his 4th birthday, still had yet to do anything in a potty (outside of using it to store his trucks). I had really wanted him to initiate the potty training process, believing (and still do) that it's better to undertake such a project when the kid actually wants to do it.

We had done everything the experts recommend to prepare and encourage him: read potty books, placed the little potty in a convenient location, talked to him about it, put him on the potty whenever he looked like he needed to go. Not once did it work, and he resisted. But we were quickly growing impatient at having to change his diapers, particularly when he was so resistant to the diaper-changing process, too! (He was a very challenging 3 year old.)

So we had some more talks and bought exciting Spider-Man underwear and "toilet targets" and all of those other things you are supposed to do, declared "No more diapers!" because I'd read that sometimes such a declaration will nudge the little, ah, pooper along. After three days of absolutely no success, we decided to wait a little while longer.

And we went through this every month until he was nearly 4.

I was determined not to bribe him to use the potty, but I did break down at one point and gave him something (can't remember just what) after a few successes. But then the first time I didn't reward him, he looked at me and actually said "Well then why should I use the potty?" and peed his pants. Taught me a lesson about bribing him, that's for sure!

We cleaned up messes calmly for the most part, but I must admit that after a while, it was just SO HARD to stay calm every time. This was one of those "Why is he doing this TO ME?" things for me. I took it so personally--and I really can't say why. It just made me so mad. He is so bright and intelligent--why couldn't he get this? What was wrong with me? What had I done wrong? Was there something wrong with him? This was me, not at my PD parenting best, and even though I never hit him or put him in time out or any of those other punishing things--I punished him by my behavior--yelling and threatening and being too upset. Not only was he unhappy, I was unhappy with myself. :o(

It was so frustrating! He didn't seem to care that the other kids in his gymnastics and soccer classes were out of diapers. He didn't seem to care that he made a mess. He didn't seem to care that he was wet or poopy. And then I think it occurred to me one day--he didn't seem to care because he didn't care. And he wouldn't do it unless he really truly did care. Seems so obvious, doesn't it? Once I came to that place, it was easier overall to deal with it. I was able to get a handle on my own frustration and get back to approaching this in a more positive way.

So we kept on encouraging and talking about it--not every second, but when it seemed a natural time to bring it up, like when he followed one of us into the bathroom. Brendan showed him some guy techniques and I think he might have been mildly interested in that. :o) We had the potty out in the family room so he could get there easily and so it wouldn't interrupt his work too much.

The thing that finally got him motivated was his sudden interest in swimming lessons. Every program I looked into for 4 year olds and up required the kid to be potty trained. One mention of that requirement combined with his own actual real true desire--suddenly he wanted to! And he finally did. There were the usual miscalculations, mistakes, and messes, and within a few weeks, he did it!

What a relief! But what I didn't know is that there's no guarantee they'll stay potty trained. Huh? Yup.

I had always viewed potty training as a process with a definitive end result--someone who no longer needs diapers. Once the kid has reached that point, you're "done," right?

For the next 2 years almost, Ryan would experience bouts of potty regression. Just when I'd get comfortable leaving the house without backup pants, he'd start forgetting. A lot. He also developed a tendency to withhold his bowel movements, which fortunately, did NOT turn into true encopresis (which is a medical issue that can take years to clear up). The long and short of it is that he needed constant reminders to stop what he was doing and take care of his bodily functions. Constant. In particular, if he had been withholding, we'd make him sit on the potty every few hours for a couple of days to reestablish his "routine" again.

I can now confidently say that he's potty trained! And what we now know about Ryan is this: he does NOT want to interrupt his cerebral activities to take care of physical needs. This has been true in the potty realm and remains true about eating and drinking, too. We make sure he poops once a day--which he needs to do but still seems to delay until the end of the day sometimes--because he's too busy to stop! We also make him stop to rehydrate when he's playing outside on a hot day. We make him stop and eat something because he gets really cranky when he doesn't. The kid has a really hard time stopping, and that's just how he is. And now we know that! So what Brendan and I must do for this child is help him recognize the signals of his body, help him attend to them before things get too dire, and understand why it's important to take care of your body.

Now Morgan is a different story--but it's a shorter one, so bear with me! A few months before she turned 3, she announced to us that she'd be using the potty now. We were flying out of town that weekend, so we told her she could start once we got back from our trip, since I didn't want a brand new potty trainer at the airport. After my experience with Ryan, I was nervous about not taking the opportunity the moment it presented itself, but it couldn't really be helped.

We returned from our trip, set up the potty, and had a few days of Zero Success. I was disheartened, but determined not to make a big deal of it, since she was A.) interested and B.) actually doing something in the potty, and C.) a whole year younger than Ryan was when he trained. Sure enough, about a month later, she announced to us again that she was ready to try.

And after a few weeks of the usual miscalculations, mistakes, and messes, she was trained! Just before her third birthday, too. I couldn't believe it. And I was pretty excited, too, since the baby wasn't due for 3 more months, I figured her potty habits would have plenty of time to become ingrained and we wouldn't have to worry about that New Baby Potty Regression I had always heard about.

Hmph.

After Sean was born, Morgan did not act jealous; she did not try to jump on my lap every time I held the baby; she did not drop a shoe on his head (a classic Ryan maneuver). She was a wonderful, attentive, helpful Big Sister. Except for one. little. thing.

She completely and utterly stopped using the potty. She didn't go back to Square One--she reverted to Square Zero. And just in time for our big road trip to the beach! I hated to do it, but we did put her back in Pullups for that big trip, explaining that we just wouldn't be able to stop so many times for "let's just see" potty breaks. I just couldn't do it, not with a brand new baby, too (of course, we were careful not to make the baby the reason we couldn't stop).

And then she took a page out of Ryan's book, and the last 6 months or so have been a tale of starts and stops, a few weeks here, a few weeks there. Because of my experience with Ryan, I have handled it much, much better than I did with him, but there have been times with that old "Why are you doing this TO ME?" feeling would creep up and I've gotten upset with her. And then I'd remind myself to Assume Positive Intent and apologize to her and we'd all try again. With Morgan in particular, I've noticed an inverse correlation between my level of upsetness and her inclination to use the potty. So I've really learned to relax.

The last two months have been excellent, and while I still do take backup clothes for her most places we go, she has been very reliable. But I haven't really let my guard down all the way yet. :o)

Here are things I've learned, and hopefully will remember to apply them to Sean when it's his time:

• It really goes easier when the child is the one wanting to train, although, it's okay not to wait forever.
  

• There might be no definitive moment in time when the child is officially trained.

• Patience.

• Bribery backfired on us.

• Don't take it personally.

• Also, don't take it personally.

• If they are not successful, try to identify why--for me, it was so helpful to identify Ryan's not wanting to interrupt his work for ANYTHING, not just the potty. (I now know him much better than I did, and so I suppose that's the silver lining to this tale.)

• Feel them out before using the "You're a Big Kid" statement as a way to encourage them. Ryan hated that whole idea. Morgan LOVED the concept, and would proudly exclaim, "I'm a Big Girl!"
  

• Girls really need extra wiping help for a long time--Miss M keeps developing something called "vaginitis" which is similar to a diaper rash and is really painful.

• Give them towels so they can help clean up messes, just as they do when they spill drinks, etc. That's something they can be involved in.
  

• Buy tons and tons and tons of underwear. Save the fancy ones for after you're mostly sure they've got the idea (but be aware that you'll probably be going through those pretty quickly, too.)

• Buying fancy "kid" handsoap has encouraged handwashing, but stay away from the brand (can't remember--Huggies maybe? I go by the bottle) that has the "neon" colors because they stain. Especially the purple kind.
  

• Read all of those books and stash little potties everywhere and talk about it and learn the boy tricks and do all of those things you're supposed to do, because they really do help.

• Be sure to celebrate their accomplishment! They should be proud and you can share in it.
  

And never forget the wisdom of this time-honored Mommy mantra: This, too, shall pass.

Because I Have A Weird Sense Of Humor

I think this is absolutely hysterical. Fun Fact: My dad actually owned (owns?) this album!

C. August, this one's for you!

More About Babies & Siblings

This is a quick follow up to my parenting post from the other day, Positive Discipline from Day One. I have another technique about helping older siblings and babies get along that I didn't think to include in that post, called Putting Words in Baby's Mouth.

Many times when the older kids have a screaming match conflict with each other, it's partly because they can't understand each other's body language and other context clues about what the other might be feeling.

They have a pretty decent grasp of the English language (understatement of the year), so when they're having a problem with each other, we help them remember to express their feelings with words instead of actions. So when Ryan and Morgan are fighting over a toy, we help them identify and state the problem first, and then assist with the negotiation process, if necessary. I wrote another post about the fine art of negotiations a couple months ago.

Now of course, Sean is not able to articulate his thoughts and feelings just yet. And the older kids are used to verbal exchanges. So what I do is become Sean's mouthpiece and interpreter, because a lot of times, the older kids just don't understand what Sean is doing.

So I'll say things like:

• Sean is mad! He wanted to hold that toy!

• Sean is mad! He wanted to play with the cat food!

• Sean is crying because you took that toy and he's saying "I want a turn!"

• When you hear him yell like that, he's saying "Stop! I don't want you to sit on me!" (Seriously, I have said this. A lot.)

• He's mad because you scooped him up and he wants to move his body independently.

• It looks to me like Sean would like to play with you, that's why he's standing by your table. Is there something he can hold so he feels like he's helping you?

• I know it hurt when Sean pulled your hair. I'm so sorry. He wasn't trying to hurt you--we'll teach him that pulling hair hurts a lot! He's a baby; he doesn't know.

• I can tell that Sean might be feeling sorry because he sees you crying and now he's crying, too. He knows something is wrong.

• See how Sean is smiling and rocking back and forth? He loves to watch you dance and sing! He's saying, "Do that again, Big Sister!"

• I can tell Sean really likes it when you sing that song--he's clapping his hands and laughing.

• When you bring him his drink, he is feeling that you're taking good care of him. He really likes that.
  

I say things like this so often that it's become automatic for me--and of course I've really been doing it since Morgan showed up. To a certain degree, I still do a little bit of interpreting with the older kids--Morgan is still not consistent with saying, "Stop! I don't want you to do that!" to Ryan. So, after reminding Morgan to say words, I'll tell Ryan, "When she's squirming and making that screaming noise, that's your clue to climb off of her and ask her 'Is something wrong?' " (Seriously.)

Another idea we've been showing Morgan is to use non-verbal cues, such as holding up her hand in a "HALT!" position, which is easier for her to do, since it seems like she has trouble coming up with words in stressful situations. I think this will help her quite a bit (thanks, Kelly, for the suggestion). And Ryan has been told to respect the Halt Hand as he would a verbal "Stop!"

The main advantages to being the interpreter for the baby (or even an older child who is having a hard time verbally communicating) are that it helps the older siblings understand why the baby is acting the way he is, and also that he is a person who has valid feelings. If they understand the reasons behind the baby's actions or reactions, they can learn to Assume Positive Intent with him, and they can figure out how to help him or get my help. If they understand that he is an actual person, then they will begin to respect his boundaries and rights.

Objectivist Round Up #93

Welcome to the April 23, 2009 edition of the Objectivist Round Up! This blog carnival features posts by blog authors who are advocates of Objectivism, the philosophy of Ayn Rand.

Ayn Rand offered a moral defense of capitalism, and this is particularly meaningful to me this week, the week after the "Tea Party" protest movement swept across the nation, and the day after Earth Day.

Capitalism not only works--it's right because in a capitalist system people are free to be humans--to use their brains to work to achieve their goals. (By the way, please do not mistake the economy we've experienced in our lifetimes for laissez-faire capitalism.)

The moral justification of capitalism does not lie in the altruist claim that it represents the best way to achieve “the common good.” It is true that capitalism does—if that catch-phrase has any meaning—but this is merely a secondary consequence. The moral justification of capitalism lies in the fact that it is the only system consonant with man’s rational nature, that it protects man’s survival qua man, and that its ruling principle is: justice.

--Ayn Rand, “What Is Capitalism?” Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal, p. 20

The Tea Parties

Brian presents Tax Day Tea Party Summary posted at Reality Talk, saying, "For Objectivists interested in attending future protests - such as the Independence Day Tea Party - the one thing we recommend is to bring a nice clear sign that mentions Atlas Shrugged and Ayn Rand. 'If you build it, they will come!'"

Jared Rhoads presents The Lucidicus Project - Editorials on Individual Rights in Medicine posted at The Lucidicus Project, saying, "The Lucidicus Project was represented at the Tax Day Tea Party in Boston yesterday."

Andy Clarkson presents Charlotte Tea Party posted at The Charlotte Capitalist, saying, "The Charlotte Tea Party was attended by 2000 to 3000 people. Various Objectivists handed out over 1500 fliers. Dr. John Lewis was the highlight of the event. See the video of his speech as well as a post-speech interview." [This speech is particularly exceptional. I highly recommend that you take the time to watch the whole thing!--RJ]

Zachery Lippe presents D3lta V: Tea Party posted at D3lta V, saying, "I went to the Tea Party in Charleston, SC, and took a bunch of pictures and added commentary for each photo."

Ari Armstrong presents Denver Tea Party Ralliers In Their Own Words posted at FreeColorado.com, saying, "What did the typical Tea Party rallier have to say?"

Kyle Haight presents San Jose Tea Party posted at HAIGHT SPEECH, saying, "My wife and I attended the tax-day Tea Party in San Jose, CA. Herewith some photos and commentary on what we saw there."

Doug Reich presents Obama to 'tea-bag' protesters: I simply want to rule you posted at The Rational Capitalist, saying, "Analysis of Obama's statements regarding the Tea Bag protesters as an example of his philosophy of pragmatism and Marxism"

Michael Labeit presents On Janeane Garofalo's Ineptitude posted at Philosophical Mortician, saying, "Logical discourse meets hysterical flailing."

Earth Day/Environmentalism

Amy Mossoff presents Environmentalism is the New Bogeyman (and God) posted at The Little Things, saying, "Kids are truly frightened that the earth will not be around when they grow up. What's more, the author of this article doesn't understand why their fears aren't assuaged by their parents' conservation efforts."

Erskine Fincher presents Exploit the Earth Day!! posted at Godless Capitalist, saying, "Promoting Exploit the Earth Day."

Doug Reich presents More Hairspray Please posted at The Rational Capitalist, saying, "Discussion of scientific paper showing that cleaner air is leading to increasing temperatures and its relationship to Obama's science advisors call to artifcially pollute the air; relationship of this fact to environmentalist's true motives"

Economics & Politics

Diana Hsieh presents Against the Drug War posted at NoodleFood, saying, "Do you want to live in a society of rational, productive, and peaceful people? Then end the drug war!"

Paul Hsieh presents When Doctors Opt Out posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "More doctors are opting out of participating in government-run health care. Shat does this mean for the statists' plans for "universal health care"?"

Stella presents Shooting themselves in the foot posted at ReasonPharm, saying, "A pharmaceutical industry group continues to make bad decisions that will ultimately cost its member companies dearly."

Gus Van Horn presents Too Late, Mr. President posted at Gus Van Horn, saying, "Before audacity comes ineffectuality."

Doug Reich presents The Fed's Wish Part II: Coup D'Etat? posted at The Rational Capitalist, saying, "Analysis of changes in the Fed's balance sheet to demonstrate how they are creating paper money and to consider the possible effects"

Edward Cline presents The Guns of Nihilism posted at The Rule of Reason, saying, "Today America is stymied, not by mammoth German guns, not by a disciplined German army, not even by four pirates in a rowboat, but by the value-negating morality of altruism and by an American president who is, in the most fundamental moral sense, on the side of pirates."

Justin Ketterer presents Design of Competition Decorations for my Teaching Assistantship posted at Valuable Mechanisms: The Design & Engineering Blog of Justin Ketterer, saying, "From my professional blog on design & engineering... I seized an opportunity for some not-so-subtle activism in my teaching assistantship."

Aesthetics

Miranda Barzey presents Photoshop Ethics Debate posted at Ramen & Rand, saying, "Where do you draw the line in photojournalism ethics? When does some corrective Photoshopping become a distortion of reality?"

Daniel presents Art Antidote for a Lack of Resolve posted at The Nearby Pen, saying, "Are you running low on spiritual fuel? Have people or bad art sapped you of the determination needed to pursue and achieve your values? Here is your art antidote--which you can think of this week as "red bull for your soul"."

C. August presents Bottle Shock posted at Titanic Deck Chairs, saying, "A review of a movie that presents a positive, capitalist message. Something to take your mind off of the crisis of the moment."

Parenting

Rational Jenn presents Parenting From Day One at Rational Jenn, saying "This is the latest in a series of posts on the discipline method known as Positive Discipline or positive parenting."


Objectivism/New Objectivist Blog

Paul McKeever presents Rand as Nietzsche: Talking Points Memo Designed to Diminish Respect for Rand posted at Paul McKeever, saying, "I think we're going to see a lot more of this now that Ayn Rand is getting so much positive press."

Exalted presents Introduction To "Exalted Moments" posted at Exalted Moments, saying, "This is a new Objectivist blog focusing on the good. Which means it is non-political -- in today's context. Specifically, the focus is upon "exalted moments" and their importance. Early on the focus will be research in the form of quotes. Then original articles. Example from Dr. Leonard Peikoff:

"Ayn Rand's real intellectual interest was emphatically not politics. Of course, she was a champion of capitalism and freedom. But unlike today's libertarians and conservatives, she was a thinker; she was not content to preach liberty or private property as though they were self-evident axioms. She wanted to know what they depend on and how they can be proved, all the way back to metaphysics and epistemology.""

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form. One Reality will be the host next week!

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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objectivist round up, blog carnival.

Am I Legally Required To Answer That Question?

Via Twitter, I came across this link, which contains a clip (from Fox News, I think?) of a story about what happened to a guy detained by the TSA at the St. Louis airport. They were suspicious of him because he had $4700 in cash on him. They demanded to know where he got the money.

In response, this man asked repeatedly, "Am I legally required to answer that question?"

He never got a "yes" or a "no"--but was detained, and the TSA guys (he was recording their voices on his phone without their knowledge) threatened to make him answer to the DEA and the FBI.

Watch the whole video, it's about 8 minutes long. I thought the way this guy behaved was awesome--polite, calm, non-confrontational . . . and absolutely unyielding. Yes!

UPDATE: Here's the video:

Positive Discipline From Day One

In my previous parenting posts, I use Ryan and Morgan as my examples, since they've been around a while now and I have lots of great stories and parenting experiences with them.

But this time, I thought I'd talk about the baby for a while, partly because he's super cute and squeezable, but also because we do use PD with him, too! (This post brought to you by the Electrical Cord Chewing Button Pushing Peopleguy--Sean.)

A brand new baby doesn't really need guidance from his parents, but he does need responsiveness. When his parents take care of his basic needs in a prompt way, the baby learns to trust those big people and begins to gain a sense that those big people seem to value him a lot. The primary focus of those early days is (besides sleep) building a connection with the baby. This is also known as "attachment parenting" and for more information about this, go to the website of Dr. Sears, who has coauthored (with his wife) many books on the subject.

But after those first couple of sleepless months pass by, the baby becomes more aware of things and interactive. Not coincidentally, you, the parent, begin to emerge from the new baby fog--just a bit!--and become more aware and interactive. :o)

But the baby isn't really conceptual--the baby can't really misbehave--so what is the purpose of discipline at this stage?


Good for Mom and Dad

Babyhood is the perfect time for parents to begin sharpening some of the parenting tools in their toolbox. Of course, if you have more than a minute or two between all of the new baby tasks like changing diapers and feeding and various cleaning activities, now is a great time to read some books about Positive Discipline.

But it's also a great time to practice. Practice saying the things you're going to be repeating thousands of times in the not-too-distant future. Practice which words you're going to say and practice how you're going to say them.

So when you find baby somewhere he's not supposed to be (who expected him to roll over so quickly?), such as in front of the the cat food or a trapped in a particularly electrical-cord-ridden corner of the room, you can say "Oops! Electrical cords are not for eating. Come with me!" as you remove him.

Now the baby will not understand a word. That's okay. He may not even have noticed that you moved him from the cords. To him, the experience is: I was lying somewhere, then that nice lady who smells yummy scooped me up and made some noises, and now I'm somewhere else. (That's if he could even articulate the experience, which, you know, he can't.)

Of course you'd remove him from situations you deem to be potentially dangerous. And the baby may or may not notice or care. But why not use the time to try out what you're going to say when he's a little bit older? Because before you know it, he will begin to understand.

Practice words and phrases:

• That's not for touching.
• You want to hold something; here's a bear.
• Pulling hair is ouchy! Let me help you do a gentle pat.

Practice distraction:

• Look! Up in the sky! It's a ceiling fan!
• You want to touch that. Let's go in the kitchen now.
• Let's go see what Daddy's doing.

Practice tone-of-voice (which of course I can't really describe in writing, but I really do practice different ways of saying things, so that I am firm but kind in the real situation):

• Ouch! That hurts!
• Cords aren't for pulling.
• That's not for eating.
• I know you don't want a diaper change. I'll help you hold still and it will be over quickly.

Good for Baby

Obviously, Baby won't really get what you're saying and doing until he is older--in my completely non-scientific experience, around 6 months or so. And even then, he won't understand the words--but he will pick up on your tone of voice. And once he gets some sense of Object Permanence--the idea that things don't disappear just because you can't see them--he will definitely begin to understand what you're doing (removing the object or him) and even start to be upset by it.

But if you're already in the habit of saying the right things in the way you want to say them, then the first time the baby whips your glasses off of your face and nearly drops them in the toilet, you will have some words at your disposal that you can use despite your surprise and dismay. That saves the baby from a shocking sense of "Who is this freaking yelling person who has replaced my Mommy?" if you can somehow put him gently on the floor and say "My glasses are not for touching!" instead of "Nnooooo! Blllaaarrrgg!" (Please. Learn from my mistakes. :o) )

The baby will also begin to pick up on the fact that you mean what you say and will reinforce it in a kind and gentle manner. Kids like consistency and need Mom and Dad to provide that for them. It's unsettling not to be able to predict things--babies and kids are comforted by routines and consistency.


Good for Older Siblings

If you have older kids, there's an immediate benefit to practicing PD with the new baby. The Big Kids get to see that you will help the baby follow the house rules: "Ryan wants to play by himself right now; let's go play over here." or "Ouch! Pulling hair hurts and Morgan doesn't like that! I'll help you stop."

Besides the sense of justice that comes from being able to see that you will be fair and not always default in favor of the baby (which is hard not to do!), the Big Kids will begin to view the baby as a real member of the family, an actual person with legitimate wants and desires. And, you are modeling words and action for them to use with the baby. Ryan helps Sean give the cat "gentle pats" (kind of!) and Morgan will say comforting things to him when he's sad like "You're sad Mommy moved away, but see? She's right over there in the kitchen!"


Strategies for Baby "Misbehaviors"

A baby is becoming self-directed--especially once he can sit up on his own and move around some (rolling, crawling, etc.). He's going to do things you don't want him to--not because he's trying to irritate you or hurt himself. He doesn't even have a sense of that yet. He is merely curious about the world and is trying to learn about it, touching everything and probably tasting everything, too.

This is a good time to practice the PD idea: Assume Positive Intent. If you practice this now, it will be easier to do when the child is older and really does do something on purpose to annoy you. (See 4 and 7 year old Casey Kids for examples).

Nobody would think that a crawling baby is trying to disconnect your computer and wireless router on purpose. He sees flashing lights and neat-o buttons and he wants to know what they are, which means touching and/or tasting. If you're Sean, that also means picking up a stick and beating things to see what they do. Maybe a scream or a gurgle will do something. What if I stick it in my eye?

By the way--I LOVE the stage that Sean is in right now. He is so curious and adventurous--a little Scientist Explorer Peopleguy. Even though I've been interrupted 5 times in the writing of just this paragraph by that curiosity, I just love it.

So, what can you do when he is ripping cords out of the wall and attempting to strangle himself with them?

• Physically remove baby from the No-No.

• Say "Not for touching." or "No." or "Stop." in a gentle voice. (I don't say something every time.)

• Rearrange some furniture--take valuables upstairs, or block off the zone. The makeshift barricade I have near my computer desk is NOT holding anymore, so we'll have to move on to a different idea.

• Distract, distract, distract. Give him another toy, move him to another area, make a funny face. The main advantage you have as a parent at this stage is the fact that Baby is so interested in EVERYTHING that his attention is (relatively) easily focused on something different. Also, babies in general are not known for their excellent memories.

• Give the baby an appropriate substitute. If he wants to chew something, remove the cat food or Daddy's iPhone and give him a teething ring or soft toy instead. Pulling up grass is a better outlet for when you get the urge to rip something up by its roots (as opposed to hair). Etc.
  

• Be prepared to do this a million times until he finds another dangerous thing to obsess over or until he leaves home for college. (In the words of Dave Barry, I am not making this up.)

I do not recommend:

• Shouting or yelling at baby. It will scare him and he'll get the same idea--"Mom won't let me over in this corner."--through your action of physically removing him.

• Hitting baby--smacking his hands, etc. Again, he'll get scared and focus on the hurt--why hurt or scare him when he gets what he needs--redirection--without physical or mental pain?

Babyproofing

I'm not sure if this really a PD idea, but it's certainly a value I hold--give the baby as much freedom as absolutely possible. Create a safe zone in which he can play and explore--and make that zone big.

Having older kids has resulted in some logistical challenges along these lines. As parents know, the older the kid, the more pieces their toys, and the smaller the pieces. It's a Danger Trifecta: lots of small pieces are not only a hassle to clean up and keep track of, it's also a Major Choking Hazard!

We've worked around some of these issues by creating Big Kid Zones, where one can play with LEGO in relative freedom. Our playroom also has doors, which has been helpful, although Sean has reached an age where it's no longer feasible to keep him out of there. I've also enlisted the help of the older kids: they can identify Sean-safe toys, and will sound a red alert (literally) if they see him with anything in his mouth. Given all of the birthdays recently celebrated around here, hearing Ryan or Morgan shout "Floor cake!" is common. Sean does love some leftover floor cake. (And I'm confident at this point that he is not allergic to eggs, dairy, or wheat. Although it was definitely NOT my preference for us to have figured it out in that particular manner.)

And even though we let him have as much freedom as we can, we still make judicious use of baby gates (to keep him out of the kitchen and from being underfoot while I'm cooking, for example) and outlet covers. But it's funny--Sean is surviving and thriving in a much more dangerous environment than Ryan did at the same age! Ah, the joys and perils of being a Third! Even so--we still redirect him and guide him all the time. But for both of our sakes, I try to minimize it.

What are some other ideas for guiding young babies and toddlers? I'm sure there are things I've forgotten about toddlerhood, which will re-surprise me in just a few more months here. Ideas?

Living With Food Allergies Carnival (Better Late Than Never Edition!)

Welcome to the latest edition of the Living with Food Allergies Blog Carnival! My apologies for the delay--this is the direct result of my being too busy for words this last month--birthdays, road trips, etc.

This blog carnival is for those who have or love people with food allergies. Food allergies can often be life-threatening and difficult to live with. Here we share strategies and recipes and our struggles in an effort to support each other and educate those who may not know too much about life with food allergies.

Without further ado....

Liz presents Jicama and Fresh Fruit Platter posted at Sugar Cane Allergy.

Liz presents Carrot and Pineapple Cooler posted at Sugar Cane Allergy.

Liz presents Pizza Topping with Fennel and Asiago Cheese posted at Sugar Cane Allergy.

Ruth Smith presents A Treatment For Food Allergy? posted at Best Allergy Sites, saying, "Food Allergy treatments have made recent headlines. In an article for Best Allergy Sites, Dr. Michael Pistiner comments on these recent treatments and what they mean for food allergy sufferers looking for a cure."

Jennifer B presents Should Allertherapy be Marketed as a Homeopathic Medical Treatment for Food Allergies? posted at Food Allergy Buzz, saying "Word on the street is that FDA is looking into Allertherapy, perhaps issuing a letter of warning regarding the manufacturer's medical claims."


That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the
Living with Food Allergies Blog Carnival using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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living with food allergies carnival, blog carnival.

A Quick FamBlog Update!

Sean is 10 months old today!

I Like My Non-Boring Life

Well, life is still happening at a quick pace around here, so this will be short.

Ryan is 7 years old today! Wow. He's very disappointed because he doesn't think he is "big enough" to be seven. Attempts to get clarification brought him close to tears, so I'm not really sure what he's getting at. He has lately been trying to bargain down the age at which he'll be a grownup, so maybe he thought he'd be a lot taller or something today. (He did cheer up, though!)

I'm sure other moms do this to a certain degree, but on the kids' birthdays, I'm always taken back to What Was I Doing When. And because of the blessing-that's-also-a-curse excellent memory of mine, I can say that 7 years ago at this time of the morning, I was in recovery from the emergency c-section, and Ryan, only a few hours old, was in the "transition nursery" where they keep borderline babies before deciding if they'll go to NICU or be okay to go back to their moms. He didn't pass the test and would spend the next 4 days in NICU and I wouldn't get to hold him until 9:00pm that night, all tiny and hooked up to machines.

Now why did I just do that? :o)

He did have a rough landing that day seven years ago--no one felt it more than I!--but he came through thanks to medical science (go, technology!) and that stubborn streak of his that now irritates me on a daily basis. :p

And now I must go and bake a huge Darth Vader head--chocolate cake with chocolate icing, to be served with chocolate (or vanilla) ice cream! Kid likes chocolate. Gotta say, nothing wrong with that. And he's getting a Big Kid scooter--maybe that'll make him feel like almost-a-grownup. Bye for now!

Carnivals!

The Objectivist Round Up is up over at Tito Says! I completely forgot to mention it yesterday.

And the Living with Food Allergies Blog Carnival is going to be delayed on account of the host (that's me) being so far behind on everything. I'm very sorry, but hope to have it up soon, like today.

We're in prep mode for Ryan's Big Day, which is tomorrow. How can he possibly already be 7 years old?

It's Not Galt's Speech, But . . .

Here's a video from last night's Tea Party with my speech. My bit starts about 1:12 in, after two other speakers. Didn't know they'd put in background music, too.

You can't see the image, but you can hear it pretty well. Nice response from the crowd, too, I thought.



About 16,000 or so saw this! I'm going to stop now before I dwell on that number for too long.

Tea Party Speech

We're in our little hotel room in downtown Atlanta. The kids lasted through a little more than half of the program, which is really good. It's hard--they're little and can't see anything and it was SO crowded. I've heard estimates ranging from 16,000 - 20,000 attendees! BIG jump from the 400-500 at the first tea party back in February!

Here are a few pictures of the kids holding their signs:

Ryan's Sign
Morgan's Sign (she wanted to hold the same thing as last time)
Sean's Sign (my personal favorite!)
All three kids
Minuteman Sean (with patented Tired Eyes)

Ryan told me he was glad he went, even though it was hard to see things.

One especial highlight was meeting up with John of the blog John & Ansley! VERY cool! I'm looking forward to meeting Ansley and their little guy this Sunday. :o) I think John got a pic or two and I'm hoping he'll share!

So--my speech. We were so far away from the big screens that it was hard to see, what with all of the sign-waving and of course the big tree in our way. We were just hanging around throwing snacks at the kids and bouncing the baby, when suddenly I realized that MY VOICE was being projected across the crowd. I think my speech was about halfway over by the time I heard it. I think I said "Hey, that's me!" And there was clapping at the end of it, no booing, so I suppose it went all right.

Here is the text of it (but it may be somewhat different from what I actually said, since I changed words around here and there and I have no idea which version they used):

Twenty years ago, I read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, a fictional story in which an economy collapses under the weight of government regulations, regulations that were enacted out of a sense of “helping others"--altruism, regulations that tried to make failing businesses succeed by making it the moral and legal duty of the citizens to support them.

Never did I imagine that I would see a time in which elements of Atlas would come true in America: the bailouts, the “stimulus,” extensive government involvement in private business, more and more money being extracted from taxpayers and redistributed for cause after cause, increasing regulations that infringe on individual freedoms…

I support the tea party efforts because I advocate a return to the principles upon which our Founding Fathers created this country: Freedom. Individual Rights. Personal Responsibility.

With an out-of-control government that chains its citizens and future generations with increasing financial burdens;

a government that forces us to fork over our money on behalf of others instead of using it our own ends;

a government that does not protect individual rights,

American citizens like you and me are not free to pursue our dreams, to take risks, to live our lives.

I do not want my government to support me and my family.

I want FREEDOM.

I want a government that will protect my rights—and yours, too. I want government officials who understand that they work for me—and not the other way around.

I'm extremely grateful to Jenny Beth Martin for providing me the opportunity to record my statement! If I get a hold of a copy of the video, I'll be sure to post it!

And now I must turn this computer back over to Brendan who is about a zillion years behind on work and is very kindly wrangling The People while I compose this post.

Quote Of The Day

Via Nick at The Rule of Reason:

"If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; and posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."

-- Samuel Adams

Okay--so 24 hours later and NOW I'm all nervous and freaked out about the video thing. I'm not sure I'll be able to watch myself. It's some weird form of Buyer's Remorse. Speaker's Remorse, maybe?

If you see it, be kind....this is NOT normally my kind of thing and I will probably want to look for a big, deep hole to hide in when it's shown.

Seriously--what is this--a delayed attack of nerves? Is this a clinical condition for which I may self-medicate? I've got wine....hmmmmmm....

We're still planning to be there tonight, although we've booked a hotel room nearby so we don't have to fight traffic (there's also a Braves game tonight) and in case things get to be too much for the little ones. I'm anticipating LOTS of people. Hopefully we'll be the craziest ones there, although I suspect not. :o) And, I'll try to post live updates and/or pictures on Twitter if I can, so follow me!

Okay, off to make our signs and print our handouts and pack a bottle of wine snacks and drinks for the kids! And yes, just so the whole world knows at the outset, so I can try to avoid any controversy if possible: the kids will be helping us hold the signs. :o)

My 15 Minutes

One of the coordinators of the Atlanta Tea Party contacted me late Sunday night and invited me to record a one-minute statement that will be shown on two giant screens at our event tomorrow night. So I did! :o)

There are several speakers lined up for the event, and in between each of their speeches, clips of three "regular" people--like yours truly!--will be played on the big screens. The coordinators of our event anticipate THOUSANDS of attendees!

I did several takes this afternoon at the recording studio, and I don't know which one will make it in. (None of them was absolutely perfect, but that's just my control-freak tendency obsessing about it.) I did do my absolute best and I was very excited to have been asked to participate!

I'm not sure when or if the videos will be available online, but rest assured, I'll put it on my blog if it is available. Because, you know, it's all about the blog! At the very least, I'll post the text of my speech on my blog. It does begin (after a quick intro) with "Twenty years ago, I read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand . . . ." Even though none of you is supposed to let on that I'm old enough to start any kind of speech with "twenty years ago."

It was HARD to distill my thoughts down into one minute, especially on such short notice while returning from a road trip! It was harder still to work up the nerve to speak--I'm much more comfortable as a writer than as a speaker, although with a little practice I know I'd improve.

Thanks to all who supported me and made suggestions: Brendan, Diana, Ari, Robb, Monica, C. August and my group of great friends here in town.

So . . . will I see you in Atlanta tomorrow night? Because I know you'll see me! :o)

Home!

We all had a great time in DC over our long weekend, and are very glad to be back home. Some highlights from our trip:

• Seeing my parents' new house--it's gorgeous. All hardwood floors and granite counters. Love. Interestingly, it's across the street from an old prison.
  

• Meeting Amy and her family! We all had a really nice time at their house. Samantha is a sweet, friendly girl and she took delight in showing her bedroom to Ryan and Morgan. Ryan got to spend some time with their dog, and is beginning to get over some of his fear of dogs, thanks to Adam's patient explanations and advice. Amy and I hit it off right away, and the time zoomed by. Before I knew it, it was time to leave! Hopefully, we'll see them next time we're in DC.
  

• Visiting George & Martha's house. Ryan had a blast. I think the other kids liked it all right. I know my dad LOVED taking Ryan all over, so that was nice. We never actually made it into the house because of the long lines, but we roamed all over the grounds, the kids explored his backyard quite a bit, we visited the tomb, many other buildings on the property, saw (and smelled) lots of farm animals, and of course, bought souvenirs at the gift shop! Unsurprisingly, Ryan bought another rifle and another tricorn hat, and unsurprisingly, Morgan got a dog.

• Making an Easter Bunny cake and chocolate chip cookies and eating them.

• Lots of presents! There were birthday presents for Morgan, birthday presents for Ryan, Easter presents, Sean presents, a late Christmas present for me, and presents, presents, presents!

• Driving around Washington, DC and looking at the outsides of all of the places we wished we could have seen the insides of. Next time.

• I used Twitter the whole trip, and it was kind of fun. Here are some random pictures of the road trip.
  

Hopefully we'll get to go up again in the not-too-distant future. There's so much to see there, and we didn't get to spend quality time on hardly any of it. The kids did very well--today was the most difficult day by far, what with all of the incessant whining and impatientness. Can't say I really blame them though. :o)

I'll post the pics we took with the real camera on the blog sometime soon (I hope), but in the meantime, here are a few more I took with the iPhone. (By the way--LOVE the iPhone. Go get you one. Git.)

If you had been following me on Twitter (you know who you are!), you'll have already seen these:

• Sean having a nap
• R & M in the hotel last night
• Sean smooching the Baby in the Mirror
• At Grandma's and Grandpa's
• R & M at the Cracker Barrel (our road trip restaurant of choice)
• Brendan & Sean at the Cracker Barrel

And now--back to life and an amazingly jam-packed week ahead. I'm kind of freaking out, there's so much to do. So I think I'll go do some of it and then write more later. Buh-bye!

We're Going The Distance...

So we're almost ready to pack up the car and head out. I love not having to leave until lunchtime! With any luck, we'll leave the house in some kind of order and not have to walk into a mess when we return!

I have a semi-brilliant parenting post semi-finished, but it will have to wait. This will be the first road trip we've had in a while without reliable working laptops, so I doubt I'll get to post much. Love my iPhone (writing from it now) but it's not conducive to thinking about semi-serious stuff and certainly not ideal for editing.

We'll get lots of pictures and hope to have them up and going, along with pics from Morgan's birthday party, before Ryan's birthday! That would be awesome if I could pull that off and you should be extremely impressed if I manage to do so!

TTFN!

Read Atlas Shrugged!

It will make you THINK.

Mood Music For The Next Tea Party

We're gonna go to the next one--how about you?

Via Ragamuffin Studies

Productive Weekend

We got quite a bit done this weekend, I'm proud to say! Morgan's room is put back together and is incredibly pink. We can deal with the pink spots in the carpet for now. I know that she truly doesn't care, and I'm having a hard time conjuring up a lot of energy to be irritated by it myself. So I guess that means I officially think it's funny. Yes, yes I do!

Brendan spent quite a bit of time working this weekend, and that's how it will be until this project is finally finished. We're both over how long it's taking, since he is unable to really commit to any other project until it's done. And we kinda need some money! But I think the end is near.

I didn't get pictures of Morgan's birthday festivities up on the FamBlog (as you have no doubt noticed), but they are coming soon. I DID get some planning done for our trip. Oh, have I mentioned we're going on a short trip?

This is "spring break" week. Even though Ryan is not in school, our schedule is still somewhat tied to the school schedule. Almost all of the kids' regular activities are off this week: music class, soccer, chess, dance. So we're taking advantage of that to head up to DC to see my parents. They got a new place last Fall and I'm interested to see it. Also, we're going to take everyone to Mt. Vernon because Ryan is simply dying to see George Washington's house! That should be fun for him. Not sure how the others will enjoy it, but the scenery is nice and there's a big open area in George's backyard for strolling and wandering around that I think will be a Morgan Plan B. We are also planning to go visit a museum or a monument or two.

And the thing I'm most excited about--we have a playdate scheduled with Amy! I can't wait to meet her and her daughter in person.

I wish we could stay up in DC longer this time, but we'll need to get back here before all of our activities start up again. And then that's it--no travel until our annual Outer Banks trip and some exciting adventures coming in the Fall.

So anyway, now I need to go work on the dreaded laundry and figuring out what we need to bring. We still have two days to go, but it takes me a while to pack for all of the kids, especially when they are super-interrupty, which they seem to have a triple dose of today.

Living With Food Allergies Carnival

Welcome to the April 2, 2009 edition of the Living with Food Allergies Blog Carnival! I have recovered from my l o o o o n n n g day yesterday to bring you this edition, only one day late!

RECIPES

Alison presents Gluten-Free Matzoh and Matzo Ball Soup posted at Sure Foods Living.

Alisa presents Virtuous Whole Grain Banana Muffins posted at One Frugal Foodie.

Rachel presents A GFCF Chocolate Pizza! posted at Rachel's Recipe Box, saying, "After a lot of drooling over dessert pizzas made with gluten and dairy, I created this delicious and allergy-safe chocolate pizza."

Local Nourishment presents Fermented Taro Root: Cheese, like posted at Local Nourishment.

EASTER/PASSOVER/SPRING PRODUCTS

Marc presents Candy Melts Make Easter Fun posted at Eat Nut-Free.

Alison presents Celebrating Easter Gluten-Free and Allergen-Free posted at Sure Foods Living.

Alison presents Dairy-free soy-free “butter” is here! posted at Sure Foods Living.

Alisa presents Go Dairy Free | 2009 Dairy-Free Chocolate Easter Bunny Round-Up posted at Go Dairy Free, saying, "There are now thirteen companies on the list offering dairy-free Easter Chocolate!"

LIFE WITH FOOD ALLERGIES

Amy Leger presents Must Daycare Provide Gluten-Free Food? posted at The Savvy Celiac, saying, "Should a daycare provide your child a gluten-free diet if you request it (and a doctor prescribes it)? You are paying hundreds of dollars each week or month in tuition right, so shouldn’t these medically-necessary diets be accommodated? The answer is …both yes and no."

Alisa presents Economizing During the Credit Crunch on a Special or Free-From Diet posted at Go Dairy Free.

Ruth Smith presents Thrive Allergy Expo: Unique Event For ALL Allergy Sufferers posted at Best Allergy Sites.

Nowheymama presents Angel Food Review posted at No Whey, Mama, saying, "A review of the Allergen-Free Angel Food Ministries box I wrote about in the last carnival."

ChristineR presents Getting out of food jail posted at Corn Allergic - What I Reacted To Today, saying, "Getting out of corn allergy food jail by getting hooked up with a local farm. Local fresh food makes even the best corn-filled treat pale by comparison! Local farms are the best choice for safe food if you have a severe food allergy that -- know your farmer, know how your food was grown and how it was handled."

Rational Jenn presents Please Be Careful! posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "Beware of this so-called OTC remedy for food allergies! As we all know, there is no treatment yet available for food allergies."

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Living with Food Allergies Blog Carnival using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page. The next edition will be on April 16! Thanks for stopping by and spread the word!

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living with food allergies carnival, blog carnival.

A Postponement

The Living with Food Allergies blog carnival will come out tomorrow, as I'm just too tired to get there tonight.

After a day with a sick baby (who is doing better), my lack of sleep, the zillion things I did today, the two zillion things I didn't do today, the Pink Paint Incident (as it will forever be known), and of course, the wine I have consumed as a relaxation tactic, I simply can't do One. More. Thing.

I know you understand!

This Will Be Funny One Day, Right? RIGHT?!?!?

So one of the things we did while Brendan's family was in town was paint Morgan's room pink! She's been making do with the old green walls of the nursery, and the zoo animal wallpaper border, and a mish-mash of furniture new and old. (Sean's room will be our current guest room, so he's not in the old nursery.)

Tuesday was wet and rainy, our family brought old clothes and so we got a nice shade of pink paint from Home Depot and went to work! It's very pretty and I plan to touch up tonight.

So anyway, the kids were upstairs and quiet this afternoon--too quiet. I called up, "Whatcha doing?" Both of them, "Nothing!"

Suspicious, I headed upstairs with the baby. Ryan, obviously anticipating the next scene, tells me, "Morgan's painting her carpet." and skedaddled.

W. T. F.

Sure enough, I walk in to Morgan's room to discover her covered with pink paint, holding a dripping paint brush over her carpet. A glance at the paint can revealed the extra roller brush (sans roller) bobbing up and down in the paint can like the Titanic.

I didn't yell. (Go me!) I was, however, extremely upset, and a few oh-no-oh-noes escaped my lips.

Morgan burst into tears, dropped the paint brush and ran from the room. Sean, who is Mr. Emotional Mirror lately, also bursts into tears. I nearly did.

I got Morgan in the tub and washed off her hair, and she was screaming and sobbing, "Ryan told me to do it!" I gently reminded her that she is in charge of her own body and that she can always tell Ryan NO.

I called Ryan up and asked him if he told her to do it. "No," says he, "I think she misunderstood me. I told her NOT to paint her carpet." He repeated this a couple of times.

Now this is plausible. But I smelled a rat. So I told him, sitting on the bathroom floor, holding Sean, Morgan still wailing in the bathtub, "I need to know what's true. I'm going to give you one chance to tell me what the truth is, and I promise I won't get mad. Well--any madder than I already am--I'm pretty upset right now. But . . . if you tell me a lie right now, and then later I find out that you lied to me, well then I will be VERY upset, way more upset than I am right now. So I need you to tell me what really happened because I want to believe and trust you."

He stared at me for a second and then said, "Okay. What I said before was a lie and I want to tell you the truth now. I told Morgan that I thought she might like pink carpet and I told her to paint it."

And I didn't get mad. I kept my promise. (Go me again!)

I thanked him for telling him the truth, explained to both of them that wall paint does not come off of carpets the way kid paint does, and told them we'd figure something out. I gave them both a hug (Morgan got me all wet), and then put Ryan in charge of Sean while I went to inspect the damage.

It is everywhere and pretty much dried up. Sigh. Also, the walls were smeared in random spots (I fixed those as best I could with the still dripping paint brush).

So, what do we do--a creative use of rugs? Some of it we can cover up with furniture, but some we can't--right in front of the closet.

Funny one day, yes? :o) I must be feeling better because I can kind of see a glimmer of humor about it as I type.

Oh well. Even though this was kind of a disaster, I think I did some things right--I didn't yell. I did show how upset I was in an appropriate way--and even though Morgan got so sad, I think it's good for them to see that this made me mad. I got Ryan to tell me the truth and told him I was proud of him for telling me the truth. I explained about the difference between wall paint and kid paint.

And Morgan's room is just a leeeetle bit pinker than we had intended.

Please Be Careful!

I've just been made aware of an over-the-counter product called AllerTherapy which is supposed to be a homeopathic remedy for allergies--pollen and food.

Among the statements made on their website about their food allergy formula:

• You no longer need allergy shots to receive the benefits of immunotherapy! ALLERTHERAPY is formulated to include allergens that are not yet available with allergy shots, so this treatment option can help to resolve many more allergies than traditional allergy shots alone.

Really? THERE ARE NO ALLERGY SHOTS FOR FOOD ALLERGIES! So how can this product be offered as an alternative to shots?

Currently, as had made headlines recently, there are a couple of oral immunotherapy clinical trials underway at Duke University (and Arkansas Children's Hospital, too, didn't know that!). They have been fairly successful, but more trials need to happen before a general treatment is made available. The sample size in the Duke trial is very small, and to my knowledge, they are only testing immunotherapies for peanut and egg. The testing is being done in very closely-monitored conditions for the safety of the subjects.

Also from the AllerTherapy site:

• Allergy Remedy Builds Immunity to Allergens Fast.

Oh I'd love to know how they know that.

About the only thing on this website that I think is a fact is the warning: "Contains Nuts & Seafood." Unfortunately, it's right after the statement "Treats Food Allergies."

Okay, they do recommend that those with severe allergies check with their doctor. Hopefully people will have enough sense to do just that and not buy this product.

Look, I know about immunotherapy. I had allergy shots for 5 years myself, only finishing up 2 years ago. I received shots for my grass, tree, dust, and dog (among others!) allergies. While this type of immunotherapy has been proven effective and relatively safe, I had to be careful. Why? Because I was being injected with things that I was known to be allergic to! I had to stay at the allergist's office for 20-30 minutes after each shot, because of the small but real risk of anaphylaxis. Those shots worked--but they were not risk-free. Thankfully, I never suffered more than a minor reaction or two.

Food allergies are more serious, causing more cases of anaphylaxis than a typical pollen allergen exposure (yes, they can be serious, too--I've experienced it myself--but there is almost no comparison). I absolutely cannot wait until there is a safe immunotherapy available for Ryan's peanut allergy. But I plan to wait for therapy based on the results of more scientific clinical trials, thankyouverymuch.

To read FAAN's Medical Advisory Board's statement about AllerTherapy, click here.

PLEASE consult with your allergist before trying any therapy for your allergies. If this product seems too good to be true, it's because it IS.

With apologies for the hasty nature of this blog post--I wanted to get this up quickly, but am also managing about 29 other things currently, including a sick, feverish baby....

Objectivist Round Up #90

I am happy to be hosting the Objectivist Round Up once again! Every Thursday, we bring you the best posts by blog authors who live by and advocate Objectivism, the philosophy of Ayn Rand.

If you are unfamiliar with Ayn Rand, or have only heard about her ideas through the media or on the internet, I highly encourage you to check her writings--fiction and nonfiction--out for yourself. There is absolutely no substitute for experiencing her ideas firsthand. On the ultimate value, life, for example:

The maintenance of life and the pursuit of happiness are not two separate issues. To hold one’s own life as one’s ultimate value, and one’s own happiness as one’s highest purpose are two aspects of the same achievement. Existentially, the activity of pursuing rational goals is the activity of maintaining one’s life; psychologically, its result, reward and concomitant is an emotional state of happiness. It is by experiencing happiness that one lives one’s life, in any hour, year or the whole of it. And when one experiences the kind of pure happiness that is an end in itself—the kind that makes one think: “This is worth living for”—what one is greeting and affirming in emotional terms is the metaphysical fact that life is an end in itself.

“The Objectivist Ethics,” The Virtue of Selfishness, 29.

And without further ado, I present this week's edition of the Objectivist Round Up!

1. Guy Barnett presents AIG Witch Hunt posted at The Undercurrent, saying, "The continuing AIG controversy is a textbook example of blaming the market for the sins of government."

2. Rituparna Basu presents AIG Executives and Mob Rule posted at The Undercurrent, saying, "In its response to the firestorm over AIG bonuses, our government has shown itself perfectly willing to tiptoe around the letter of the Constitution to appease the mob. Given its disregard for law and rights, what will stop the government from violating any contract the public does not agree with?"

3. Ryan Krause presents The Big Engine That Couldn't posted at The Money Speech, saying, "Rick Wagoner departs. No need to shed any tears."

4. John presents Let's call it what it is. posted at John and Ansley, saying, "As Ayn Rand once said, "Under fascism, men retain the semblance or pretense of private property, but the government holds total power over its use and disposal.”

What makes the actions of the Obama Administration this week with GM and Chrysler so alarming is that we've seen these types of actions before. We have a name for it. And it's called Fascism."

5. C. August presents Cass Sunstein's Bogeyman -- The Internet as a Threat to Democracy posted at Titanic Deck Chairs, saying, "Can there be too much freedom? And what does Obama's new regulatory czar think about free speech and the Internet?"

6. Roberto Sarrionandia presents Candidate Replies posted at Tito's Blog, saying, "My local Conservative candidate receives his copy of Atlas Shrugged, and sends me a letter"

7. Brian presents Medical Journal Drums Up Support for Govt Health IT Initiatives posted at Reality Talk.

8. Grant Jones presents What's Right and Wrong With Kansas posted at The Dougout.

9. C. August presents "I can't work in this country" posted at Titanic Deck Chairs, saying, "A chance conversation with a Canadian couple at a cocktail party revealed fascinating information about immigration, socialized medicine, and the state of freedom in the U.S."

10. Jared Rhoads presents It's not about "effectiveness" posted at The Lucidicus Project, saying, "Jared Rhoads says the government should not be funding comparative effectiveness research, and moreover, should not be involved in healthcare at all."

11. Guy presents AIG Shrugged? posted at The Ground of Liberty.

12. Michael Labeit presents On G-20 Dementia posted at Philosophical Mortician, saying, "The anti-market insane clown posses protest the anti-market bureaucrats."

13. Khartoum presents Edicts Of Ayn Rand Or Tolerance For All Ideas. posted at Philosophy, Law and Life., saying, "This post enumerates on the two, intricist and subjectivist, ways to get Objectivism wrong based on my experience."

14. Ari Armstrong presents Green On Condoms and AIDS posted at AriArmstrong.com, saying, "True, condom distribution doesn't seem to have done much to reduce AIDS in Africa. The problem is that many Africans have multiple partners but don't use condoms. But this hardly proves the Pope's general position on condom use is correct."

15. Paul Hsieh presents How and Why Athletes Go Broke posted at NoodleFood, saying, "How the principles in Francisco's "money speech" from Atlas Shrugged applies to professional athletes."

16. Brian presents Public-Private Patient Records Exchange posted at Reality Talk.

17. Daniel presents Art Historian Coaches Olympian Swimmer posted at The Nearby Pen, saying, "How will art help Michael Phelphs win more gold medals? The open letter reported on in this post answers that question, and more."

18. Erskine Fincher presents Answering a Critic of Ayn Rand posted at Godless Capitalist, saying, "This is the text of a comment I posted at a leftwing blog."

19. Paul McKeever presents Paul McKeever’s Minimal Maxims and Bon Arrows, volume 1, issue 5 : Paul McKeever posted at Paul McKeever, saying, "a more wordy post, essay-ish post is on the way...until then, perhaps you will find some nourishment in these. If not, please forgive the cook :-)"

20. Monica presents FA-RM: Local Farmers Corralled in Sting Operation posted at FA-RM.

21. Benjamin Skipper presents Taser Controversy Unwarranted posted at Benpercent, saying, "Singling out tasers for their potential to be deadly is not only wrong but absurd when we apply logic, and their absence would increase fatalities rather than decrease."

22. Michael Labeit presents On Market Regulation and the Airlines posted at Philosophical Mortician, saying, "Private Insurance vs the FAA."

Thanks for stopping by!

Next week's host will be Titanic Deck Chairs. Submit your blog article to that edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form, by 11pm Eastern, Wednesday, April 8. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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