MiniCon!

In case you weren't aware, today is the last day for early registration for this year's OCON, in Las Vegas. How I wish I could go! But we're planning to go to next year's OCON, more conveniently located in Fort Lauderdale.

My friend Kelly had a great idea--that if we couldn't go to OCON, we should have our own Objectivist Independence Day weekend! And so it shall be done! She has been working tirelessly, day-in and day-out, relentlessly and ruthlessly to organize this event. :o)

Here's the official announcement, from the AOS website:

JULY 2-5, 2010

This summer the Atlanta Objectivist Society is throwing its first summer conference. A few of us were very sad that we couldn’t make OCON in Las Vegas this year, so we decided that we should have our own small conference here for those in the Southeast who couldn’t get to OCON. The conference will run from Friday evening, July 2 until Monday afternoon, July 5. Anyone who is seriously interested in Objectivism is welcome to join us for any or all of the fun.

Here is a tentative schedule:

• Friday evening: Meet and greet at a local restaurant

• Saturday during the day: lectures and discussions and an opportunity to socialize with other Objectivists

• Saturday evening: Party!!

• Sunday morning: a few more lectures or discussions

• Sunday afternoon: a 4^th of July BBQ and pool party

• Monday in the late morning: Shooting at a local gun range (local gun owners will be glad to let you use their guns and will teach any newbies who want to learn)

The lectures and discussions will be led by members of our group who want to share things they know with others. So far, we have at least one session on rational parenting, a talk about the Founding Fathers, a paleo cooking demonstration and tasting, a guided Crossfit workout, a round table discussion on blogging, a poetry appreciation talk, and a talk and discussion about intellectual property. More sessions and more details about the sessions listed above will be added later.

The costs for the weekend will be minimal, just what it takes for the AOS to cover our costs. More information will be posted soon about reduced rates at a nearby hotel, and there are a few locals who would be willing to let out-of-towners stay with them to make the trip even less expensive.

As the planning continues, we will post more details. If you have any questions or suggestions, please email them to kellyelmore79@gmail.com.

Kelly and I are planning at least one mini-lecture (goes with the whole MINI-CON theme) on parenting, maybe even two. I'm especially excited to do this, because we'll get to use some of the tools and techniques we learned in our Positive Discipline Parenting Workshop. And I'm going to be hosting the blogging round table, where we'll be learning about lots of ways to increase traffic and readership.

So if you can't make it to Vegas, consider Atlanta!

PD Tool Card: Family Meetings Update

We had our second Family Meeting yesterday evening. We'd intended to do it in the morning, but things got a little crazy with Morgan's birthday party in the afternoon.

It was only our second such meeting (read about the first one here), but I think it went pretty well. We kept some things the same, and made a few changes.

Morgan, as was decided at last week's meeting, was Queen of the Meeting this week. She wanted me to remind her what she needed to talk about so I helped her remember the agenda. It was:

• Compliments

• Calendar

• Problem-Solving (Toy Bins in the Playroom, brought to the FM by Mommy)

• Choosing the King/Queen for Next Week

• Birthday Cake/Allowance

Ryan seemed interested in participating this week, and when Morgan was trying to call us to order, he suggested that she ring a bell. It was a great suggestion, and everyone loved it! Morgan dinged the bell enthusiastically, Seanie got excited, Brendan and I came to the table . . . and Ryan disappeared. Hmph. We asked him to participate, and he said he didn't want to. He had better things to do. So we sallied forth without him, but we'll use the bell idea from now on.

Morgan led the compliments with a big dimply smile (no squeeze-y hugs this week, just dimply smiles!). We all paid each other compliments, and even gave some to Eavesdropping Boy and Sean.

Then we talked about this week's calendar. Our Big Event this week is Morgan's birthday tomorrow! Having had her party yesterday afternoon, it was a big dimply-smiled discussion full of cuteness. Brendan told her he was leaving work early tomorrow to come home so we could take her out for dinner.

Even though I'd wanted to hold off on problem-solving until we'd had a few more meetings under our belts, we had an issue come up this week and I thought we'd give it a try. The problem I brought up was that I was upset and frustrated to find the various toy containers in the playroom A.) all dumped out at once, B.) used as containers for non-toy items, such as small children, causing them to get bent out of shape and otherwise damaged, C.) the costumes (of which we have many) were often all off the hangers at once.

Now, Ryan and I had discussed this the other day while he and I were cleaning up. But Morgan wasn't there for the discussion, so I wanted us all to talk about it. Since Ryan refused to come to the Family Meeting, it didn't go quite as I'd hoped, with everyone chipping in ideas for solving this problem. However, Brendan and I did mention somewhat loudly that it would be awesome if everyone had a say in coming up with solutions, and that if you don't take this opportunity, you might be bound by some rules you didn't agree to!

To no avail, although Brendan and Ryan had an interesting discussion after the meeting about The Constitution and how our Founders had lots of meetings to create those rules and how you had to show up or risk everyone else agreeing on a rule that you hated without you getting to tell them why. We think some of it sunk in his head. Let's put it this way, he agreed with all of the ideas and premises just fine, but stopped short at applying the principles to his own life and situation. Only connect . . . . What can I say? He's still a kid.

But I digress.

Brendan, Morgan, and I agreed on some Playroom Rules, and she and I wrote them up and posted them today. Here they are!



Then it came time to choose the King/Queen of next week's meeting. Morgan and I nominated Daddy, since he hadn't had a turn yet. He accepted, but then . . . Mr. Ryan decided HE wanted a turn to be King. He told us that he'd come to the meeting next week if he could be King. There was some discussion, and some people were inclined to agree with this idea.

But then I brought up the point that I didn't think it was fair to be the King or Queen if you didn't show up to the meetings when you weren't a King or Queen. Morgan and Brendan agreed with this and we told Ryan that he was welcome to be King of a future meeting, but that he'd have to show up to a meeting first. No fair not participating unless he got to be King (which is how he was thinking, I think, because this kid enjoys POWER, let me tell you!). So we agreed that Brendan would be next week's King. Ryan took it surprisingly well. I'm waiting with bated breath to find out if he makes it to next week's meeting, as I'm sure you are, too!

And then we all had some birthday cake!

Human Achievement Hour

Tonight, at 8:30 (I think), I will be turning on every light, computer, and ceiling fan in the house. And let's face it, the washer and dryer will probably be going, too, since A.) they are always going, and B.) we have at least one case of Pukinson's Disease here already today (Ryan).

Why? Because I love to give the electric company my money? No. I don't. I really don't and in fact I routinely ask the kids to turn off lights during the daytime, because they just love to turn on a light whenever they enter a room, even if it's already conveniently pre-lit by our friend, The Sun.

I am doing this as a protest against this strange "Earth Hour" idea. This will be my third year of such protest. I don't have time to go on and on about it (what with a puking kid and all, and somehow a birthday party to arrange for, if Miss Morgan doesn't succumb to the illness), so I'll republish my post from two years ago. I rather enjoyed re-reading it, because it was a pretty good one, if I do say so myself (and clearly I do).

Here it is:

Return to the Dark Ages (originally written March 29, 2008)

Don't forget, at 8pm local time tonight, many people around the world will (or already have) voluntarily return to the dark ages.

I truly don't understand this. If you want to use less energy, and save some money off of your utility bill, then get energy-efficient appliances (invented by really smart humans!). Try to make sure you don't have lights on in rooms that aren't being used. That's what we do.

"Going dark" on behalf of the Earth--which I'm afraid won't give a crap one way or the other--is anti-human to the core. Instead of bemoaning humans as some sort of blight, we should celebrate the achievements mankind has made throughout the ages. From the first humans who figured out how to control fire to Ben Franklin and Thomas Alva Edison, to peopleguys like my dad who use modern engineering knowledge to create enormous power plants to help human life flourish, we should celebrate how humans have used the resources of the Earth to create a world in which billions of humans live, create, love, and stay up late into the night simply because they can.

Now you know I have to quote from Anthem, Ayn Rand's fictional story of a civilization plunged backwards into the dark ages, a civilization that once had technology such as the light bulb but chose to lose that technology. One man rediscovered it (in case you're not familiar with the book, he has not yet discovered the word "I", his society had become so collectivized that the word "I" was lost, too--and so he uses the plural "we" instead):

We made it. We created it. We brought it forth from the night of the ages. . . .

We look upon the light which we have made. . . .

Tonight, after more days and trials than we can count, we finished building a strange thing, from the remains of the Unmentionable Times, a box of glass, devised to give forth the power of the sky of greater strength than we had ever achieved before. And when we put our wires to this box, when we closed the current--the wire glowed! It came to life, it turned red, and a circle of light lay on the stone before us.

We stood, and we held our head in our hands. We could not conceive of that which we had created. We had touched no flint, made no fire. Yet here was light, light that came from nowhere, light from the heart of metal.

We blew out the candle. Darkness swallowed us. There was nothing left around us, nothing save night and a thin thread of flame in it, as a crack in the wall of a prison. We stretched our hands to the wire, and we saw our fingers in the red glow. We could not see our body nor feel it, and in that moment nothing existed save our two hands over a wire glowing in a black abyss.

Then we thought of the meaning of that which lay before us. We can light our tunnel, and the City, and all the Cities of the world with nothing save metal and wires. We can give our brothers a new light, cleaner and brighter than any they have ever known. The power of the sky can be made to do men's bidding. There are no limits to its secrets and its might, and it can be made to grant us anything if we but choose to ask.

The Caxton Printers, Ltd. 1995. pp. 59-60.

The Earth will not care if we exterminate ourselves. If we take the lights seen here and extinguish them, the Earth will spin and revolve and all we will have done is stamp out the human race. If we annihilate ourselves, nothing will be gained, for there will be no one left to lose or gain anything.

The human mind, human ingenuity, is the only thing that can improve our lives here on our planet. Humans created candles and kerosene lamps and electric light bulbs and nuclear power. Humans will continue to improve upon existing technology and humans will benefit from it. Turning off your lights for an hour will not improve a thing, but symbolizes a willingness to return to the caveman days, as if living the short, violent lives of our ancestors is a goal we should strive for.

So I will celebrate "Earth Hour" by celebrating humans and the wonderful ways in which humans have used their minds to improve the lives of our species. I will light up my house because I don't want us to cower in the dark, afraid. I will light up my house as a beacon to those who can use their minds to make inventions (and yes! even energy-efficient ones!) that will make my life even better.

Because if we have energy problems, only humans using their minds will be able to solve them. Cursing the candle and embracing the night isn't a solution--it's a surrender.

On Kids and Extracurricular Activities

Ryan has decided to stop doing Taekwondo for a while. It was an interesting development, parenting-wise, and it affected me personally in some unexpected ways.

You may recall that he and I struck a deal back in January for going to TKD. He had been balking and delaying every time he needed to get ready for class. I was sick of getting myself and the other two kids ready to go to his class, only to then have to struggle with him about going. I was worried, too, that he was getting bored or burned out with TKD.

We agreed that he would attend class on Mondays and Wednesdays, leaving the other two days optional. On the optional days, he would decide yea or nay in plenty of time for me to make my arrangements. On non-optional days, he would get ready for class promptly and without argument.

Our agreement worked pretty well, actually. He'd ask me, "Is this an optional day?" and if it wasn't, he'd go get ready for class, usually. Sometimes he went to optional days; sometimes not.

Toward the end of February, he'd started to balk about going again, partly because (sometimes) the weather was nice, and he'd be outside playing with his friends. If he wasn't playing with his friends, going was no problem. But if his friends were over, ugh.

Before I wrote the check for March, I sat down with him and explained that it still really looked to me like he didn't want to go, that he'd been arguing and I wanted to make sure he really, really wanted to go to TKD before I paid the fee for the month. I explained about the money, and how it was okay if he wanted to stop, but that I felt upset when I paid money for something he argued about going to. We looked over the calendar, agreed on optional versus non-optional days of the week, and agreed that should he choose not to honor this agreement then I would not pay for April (essentially, I'd be making his decision to quit for him by withdrawing my support for the endeavor). He agreed to the terms and I paid the fee.

And then he argued and stalled, almost every time. Sigh. The weather was too nice, his friends too available and too not-also-in-TKD, and it was too hard. One afternoon, after he'd agreed to go, he refused to get ready, and I'd had it. We had a discussion in which I told him (to the best of my memory, Kelly was there; maybe she remembers it better than I do):

• That I couldn't take it any more and that if he didn't go that afternoon, then he was going to have to stop TKD for a while starting that day and on into at least the month of April.

• That I was fine with his quitting or taking a break from TKD, but that I was no longer willing to struggle with him over this.

• That I was disappointed that he broke our agreement, that he'd probably feel disappointed and angry if I'd agreed to take him but then refused to drive him over there at the last minute.

• That I'd be hesitant to make such agreements with him in the future if he didn't stick to our agreement for March.

I wasn't yelling at him, but he could tell that I was upset. I tried to communicate that I was upset about the agreement-breaking and frustrated about our struggle, but that I was not and would not be upset if he didn't want to do TKD any more. I hope I was successful at this; I really don't know. I did my best though.

He thought about it for a while, sighed, and said that he did want to stop TKD. And what a weight lifted from two sets of shoulders, I think!

Over the last week or so, since this discussion occurred, we've talked about his decision here and there. He says that it's hard when he has two fun things he wants to do--play with his friends and go to TKD. And for now, he wants to play with his friends more than he wants to go to TKD. He misses the friends he's made at TKD (he'll see one this weekend, at Morgan's birthday party), but as of this writing, he has told me he wants to go back for the summer session, when the school has morning classes, which would be easier for all of us. Whether or not we do this remains to be seen. I'm willing to re-evaluate going once I know the summer schedule. I have no idea if he'll want to go back.

What was unexpected to me is not that he'd end up taking a break from TKD. I could see that was the path we were heading down. No surprise.

But I was unexpectedly so SAD about his decision. This was HIS activity, but I was the one feeling so sad about it. It's not that I expected him to be Mr. Junior TKD Olympics guy, or think that if he only gets to blue belt then something will be forever missing from his life. I mean, I'm proud of his accomplishments in TKD--but it's not the pride of something I accomplished--it's the happiness that comes from seeing him experience his own pride, if you know what I mean.

I really had to sit down and think about why I was feeling this way, because it made no sense to me. I figured out two reasons. The first reason is that I was sad I wouldn't be seeing MY TKD friends! (Waving to you, if you're reading this!) There are a lot of nice Moms and Dads who hang out in the TKD waiting room, and that was an aspect of this extracurricular activity that made it fun for me. Little Seanie has been going to TKD since he was 3 months old, so everyone has known him for practically his whole life. And Morgan has made friends, too (especially one really nice girl who is very close to her in age, and who will be at her birthday party). But thankfully, we all have Facebook, so I don't necessarily need to lose touch with my friends. Looking back, I felt this way after Morgan's ballet class ended, but I've stayed in touch with some of those moms, too.

The second, bigger reason I felt sad is because the guy who owns and runs the TKD school is SUCH a great guy, and has been a real influence for the good on Ryan. I just can't say enough great things about him. He is kind to the kids, and encourages them to work through problems, talks to them as if they are people to be respected (and doesn't talk down to them as sometimes teachers do). And he "gets" Ryan. I am sad that Mr. H. won't be as present in Ryan's life, but I also know that Ryan will meet other adults (and peers) who will also enhance his life in meaningful ways. I will be taking Ryan in to the school soon to talk to Mr. H. because Mr. H. wanted to tell Ryan how happy he was that Ryan was part of his school. He's not going to try to guilt-trip him into returning; that's not how Mr. H. does things.

So anyway, after I processed my own unexpected emotions about Ryan's leaving TKD, I could deal with the expected ones--freedom and happiness and harmony! This week has been lovely. I didn't have to stress and mentally prepare for an oncoming confrontation. We went to kid activities--homeschool co-op and soccer and music class--without conflict. Hooray!!!!

I have encountered many adults (including my own parents when I was growing up) who will not let their kids quit sports or other extracurricular activities. Or try to make them feel guilty about it. Or seem to think that a kid ought to choose a particular sport over another.

I think these kinds of experiences can offer kids an invaluable learning experience. Ryan made a choice between two great values that conflicted. He chose what he thought was the higher value to him. Did he properly evaluate his values? Only he really knows for sure. His friends didn't come over at all this week, and I'm not sure if he noticed that he wouldn't have had a TKD conflict. Maybe he really wanted to stop TKD for other reasons, but being not-quite-8, can't really introspect and figure out the real reason he wanted to stop, so he chose the obvious one. I don't really know.

What I do know is that I wanted this choice to be his, and his alone. I didn't want him to stay in TKD because of me or Mr. H. or his friends there. I didn't want him to stay because he mistakenly thought that not being a black belt was going to somehow be a serious detriment. I want him to do it because he wants to, because it's a value to him, because it makes him happy and enhances his life. To the extent we can (logistically and financially), we are happy to help him pursue his values.

So the decision about what to do or stop doing is his. How we work together for the next extracurricular activity will be between both of us, and having been burned in the past, I'm probably going to handle future agreements a little differently with him. But I also realize he's still just a kid. :o)

I'd be interested to hear about this experience from him after he's grown, from his adult perspective, because I don't think I'll be able to know what he's really thinking and feeling until he does.

So what do you do about extracurriculars and sports?

Linky Dinky Thursday

Don't miss the new edition of the Objectivist Round Up, over at my friend Kelly's blog, Reepicheep's Coracle. Sigh. Valiant Reepicheep!

Alasandra has a great post called "Secular Homeschoolers Don't Owe Fundies Anything." It's a bit ranty (but hey, who am I to begrudge anyone a good old-fashioned rant?), but her point is solid: We homeschoolers actually are following in the free-spirited sandal-clad footsteps of hippies, not the religious right.

What I wish we were having for dinner tonight. But I'll make it soon. Yum!

And a silly picture, just for fun:

Now THAT'S What I Call a Food Allergy-Friendly Company

I want to call your attention to Turtle Mountain, makers of dairy-free soy and coconut milk products.

Check out their allergen page! It begins like this (emphasis in original):

Recent statistics show that approximately 20% of the US population is affected by a food allergy or food intolerance. As the prevalence of food allergies and food intolerance continues to increase, consumer education and awareness as well as clear labeling of common allergens has become a priority for Turtle Mountain.

Turtle Mountain has developed a strict, comprehensive allergen prevention program designed to validate the absence of undeclared food allergens in our products. We remain committed to providing our consumers with the most accurate information regarding the practices and procedures we follow to ensure the quality and integrity of our products. With this in mind we updated our packaging with the following allergen statement:

Turtle Mountain applies strict quality control measures in an effort to prevent contamination by undeclared food allergens. To assure our preventative measures are effective, we sample test our product for the presence of gluten, dairy, peanut and almond allergens using state of the art testing methods.

This packaging change is presently underway and will ultimately affect all packaging with the exception of the Organic Soy Delicious novelties containing organic chocolate coating or organic chocolate chips.

We have also included a table of our product lines and flavors and any present allergens so you can more easily identify which products and flavors are right for you. At the end of this section we have listed a few resources regarding food allergens we hope you will find helpful too.

And just continues on and on with great information.

They said it in the first paragraph, ". . . clear labeling of common allergens has become a priority for Turtle Mountain."

Why is it a priority for them? Not because someone in the government told them it needed to be a priority. It's because they want customers!!!! They want customers who will buy their products over and over again because they trust the company's labeling practices. They want customers not to get sick eating their products.

This is the kind of thing good companies do, on their own, without being forced to write such a statement by the Federal government. Turtle Mountain's allergy statement goes far and above anything required by the government.

It is a pleasure to see this kind of awareness and commitment. Even though we don't eat that much ice cream any more, I'm dying to try their coconut milk yogurt and kefir! And I will go out of my way to buy it from them.

PD Tool Card: Family Meetings

We had our first official Family Meeting yesterday morning! This is a PD tool I'd been hesitant to try, partly because I felt like I was around the kids so much and we generally seemed to discuss our family agenda and problem-solve as-needed. Also, I was overwhelmed by the idea, mistakenly believing that the Family Meeting needed to consist of tons of discussion topics which would take up lots of time. I was also concerned that a certain person would run away with the show, wont as he is to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and . . . well, you get the picture.

(My pack of Tool Cards has gone missing in the Great Floor Project of 2010, which we are still feeling the ramifications of, so I can't put up a picture of the card. But Single Dad Brad--who is also Jane Nelsen's son--has a picture of it on his blog!) Here's what it says:

[Purpose:] Enhance connection and cooperation with weekly family meetings.

Format for the Family Meeting:
1) Compliments and appreciations
2) Evaluation of past solutions
3) Agenda items - person can choose
a) Share feelings
b) Invite a discussion
c) Brainstorm for solutions
4) Calendar: scheduling, meal planning
5) Fun activity and dessert

Like Kelly, I was inspired to really give Family Meetings a try after our recent Positive Discipline class. I realized that this regular meeting format would meet some needs our family has, and talking about the idea with the group helped me realize that the agenda didn't need to be long or arduous, especially at first, and even more especially, given the ages of my children. (Kids under the age of 4 or 5 should not be expected to participate in long--or any--meetings. If they do, great; but it's not worth battling over, given the developmental stage.) And the main reason I wanted to try it was to involve Brendan, too. I think too often the kids see me as the Decision-Maker Peopleguy, and I wanted them to see that Brendan and I were on the same page.

I strongly suspected that Ryan would NOT join us (despite my initial concerns that he'd run all over us), because he's contrary like that, and also because he'd stately loudly and in no uncertain terms that he was NOT coming to the Family Meeting. No worries; we managed without him. This time. He sat in another room and eavesdropped on the whole thing, and dropped a comment here or there, too. I predict he'll do that for the first few meetings and then eventually join us.

We didn't cover every step in our first Family Meeting, but this is how it generally went down.

Brendan, Morgan, and I sat at the kitchen table, and Sean wandered in and out. Ryan, as I mentioned, was hiding within earshot. I explained that the first thing we would do at our Family Meetings was compliment each other, notice nice or helpful things that had happened recently. I like this idea because it sets such a nice tone for the rest of the meeting.

I paid M a compliment and she came over and gave me a squeeze-y hug. Then she paid us compliments. More squeeze-y hugs. Then Brendan paid me a compliment, and M gave us squeeze-y hugs. Morgan was the Chairman in Charge of Squeeze-y Hugs for this meeting.

After the round of compliments/hugs, we talked a little bit about the calendar and dinners for the week, and about Morgan's birthday coming up next week. More hugs. (Really, you should invite her to all of your meetings, it was the cutest thing.)

Then we talked about King or Queen on the Meeting. I explained that I was the Queen of the Meeting this time, because I was introducing the idea and explaining it, but that we could all take turns being King or Queen of the Meeting. Morgan volunteered to be Queen of the Meeting next week.

Then I announced that I'd be handing out allowance and settling some back-allowance that was owed to people. Ryan apparated with a little pop!, I handed him his allowance, gave Morgan a dollar (she doesn't have an official allowance, but asked for some), and then we were done with our Family Meeting.

I think it went well, and it will be a good chance for Brendan to be involved, and for us to talk about our crazy calendar. We didn't do any family problem-solving, and I think we'll hold off on that part of it for a few weeks, until we get into the routine of it.

I'll keep you posted on our progress!

Eight Months

My 40th birthday is a mere eight months away, November 21, 2010.

I hereby grant you permission to start celebrating NOW, as I plan to do for the rest of the year--yes, all the way to December 31! Why not?

It may sound strange, but I'm PUMPED about my birthday. I have never been so happy, so productive, so . . . dare I say it . . . rational in my whole entire life, and as far as I can see, things will only get better! Not that bad things won't happen; don't misunderstand. But the things that are within my control ARE in my control. And that knowledge is such a comfort and source of happiness in its own right.

So, what should I do for my birthday today? I think I'll make dinner and spend time with my family. Now what will you do to celebrate my birthday? Something selfish, I hope. :o)

More Q & A

Here are a few of the more interesting Qs submitted to my Formspring account, along with my As. Since I couldn't manage to write anything of substance on the blog, I'll post these instead!

I've edited them slightly for typos/grammatical errors, fyi. The little text box on the Formspring website makes it difficult to view one's entire response all at once, and I find that frustrating, since I have little patience to edit inside of that little space.


* * *
How would you react if one of your children, at age 12, decided to become a Christian and start attending the nearest Baptist Church?

Ah, this is a tricky one! I don't mind them exploring religions and religious ideas, but I'd like to be involved in the process.

12 years old is probably a likely age to be curious about that kind of stuff (I guess, I'll let you know when I get one of those models). I'd like to think that we'd have lots of discussions about what he/she learns in church.

My main concern would be learning what the child gets out of going to church. Figuring that out (which might be hard) will help me to understand what need the kid is trying to fulfill, and if I can I'll try to help him fulfill those needs outside of church, too. For example, if he has a really great friend who goes there, or seems to like the social activities, maybe his interest is mostly social; he needs friends. There are ways I can help fulfill this need, too. If he's curious about the ideas, we can talk about them, study other religions, etc.

I don't think it would be too unusual for a 12 year old (ish) kid to be curious about these things called churches, and indeed, we've already encountered this curiosity. We have explained what goes on in there, and a little about the major world religions that people still practice. So they know that Jesus Christ is the god of the Christians, and churches are where those people go to spend time talking about JC and doing things to worship JC together. They know about old religions, too--Greek and Egyptian myths, mostly.

I haven't exactly encountered this--yet--so I don't know exactly what I'd do, but I know what I would NOT do--freak out. If I make this into a really big deal, or forbid it, or refuse to take them to see a church, I can see that I'd be running the risk of making it MORE interesting or tempting. The Forbidden Fruit, if you will. :o)

I think keeping an open dialogue, letting the child explore it, being very, very honest about what *I* think about it, asking open-ended questions ("Really? What makes you think there is a god?") will be more beneficial to their experience and their making up their own minds.

Now, a 22 year old or 32 year old child who decided to become a minister or something...that would be disappointing to me. I can't imagine it not being (as I'm certain my parents are disappointed that I'm an atheist).

But one of the things I try to keep in mind in this parenting adventure is the fact of reality that they are unique, separate individuals, who are really NOT in my control. I can't make some of them use the potty! How can I expect to *make* them be religious or not-religious, or...well, anything?

I can only truly control what *I* do--work to keep an open, honest relationship with each of them, and help them explore the world and make up their own minds. It's difficult to accept that they might go off and become Communists or Baptists or something else with which I strongly disagree...but that really is a possibility. I intend to do my very best to make sure they grasp the concepts, but really, the ultimate decision about what to believe and how to think about things--how to use their own minds--is up to each one of them.

[In other words, you can lead a child to reason, but you can't make him think.]

* * *

As a child, my parents were big role models in their church for raising four good christian kids. This put a lot of pressure on me as I didn't want to make my parents look bad, even after leaving religion. Do you think there are similar pressures with y

Your question got cut off by formspring, but I think you're asking if I feel pressure from other Objectivists to raise my kids to be Objectivists, and if my kids decide to think otherwise (not become Oists), it'll reflect badly on me or my parenting or create stress between us. (If that's not correct, please send in another question!)

I would hope most Objectivists realize that children have free will, and that when they're adults they'll be responsible for their own decisions, and not me. My husband and I can certainly influence them--and I hope for the better--and we'll do our best to pass along our values and ideas when the occasion warrants.

For the record, we haven't discussed Objectivism per se with any of the children outside of "Ayn Rand is a lady who had some really great ideas we agree with, and that's why we're starting a club for people who like her here in Atlanta." We had similar discussions when we participated in two Tea Parties last year and brought pro-Ayn Rand signs. We do pass along our values and teach the virtues to them, but we do NOT explicitly say "Hey Kids! Here's your Objectivist lesson today and it's about honesty...blah blah blah." So as far as they know, Brendan and I are freaking brilliant because it looks like all our idea to them! (Actually, we are not so much "brilliant" in their eyes as "wrong" since they are forever telling me about why I'm wrong about this or that.) :o)

Back to the question though. The only person I can completely control is myself. So I am primarily (and rationally selfishly) concerned with ME. I strive to be moral and virtuous and improve where I can and when I need to. I think the parenting strategy we've chosen helps me do just that even while I'm in the middle of a tricky parenting situation (provided I don't lose my temper, that is).

What my kids will take away from their childhoods really remains to be seen. I hope that when they reach adulthood that they decide to agree with me and Brendan. But even if they don't, I will know that I parented the best way I knew how according to the virtues, and hopefully modeled those virtues at the same time (most of the time). It's the only thing that is truly within my control, and that's good, because that means I can keep my focus on being rationally self-interested.

Interesting question. I hope I answered it. Would be interested in follow up questions from you (the original asker) or anyone, really. I might have more to add as I think this over.

[Again with the leading the children thing . . . .]

* * *

Delete Your Response

How long did you breastfeed your children? Did they self-wean?

I originally planned to nurse for about 9 months to a year. Ryan nursed for about 15 months, and it was a mutual weaning. I sort of wish I'd tried to keep him going more, but at the time I was ready, and he never asked for it after that last time.

Morgan nursed until just past three years of age. Yes, years. Most of the last year was just at night before bed, part of our bedtime routine. The process of weaning was gradual and mutual, although I was the one to finally be done with it, as I was 7 months pregnant at the time and it really was uncomfortable for me.

I'm still nursing Sean, who is 21 months old. Of the three kids, he's my super-nursey baby. I'm hoping he'll wean before he goes to college. Kidding! I think he'll go until he's about three as well. I think the weaning process goes best when it's mostly child-led, but there's a point at which I get a say-so, too. Lately, I'm doing the "don't offer; don't refuse" strategy during the daytime, to encourage him to eat more food. So I don't bring it up, but I don't turn him away when he wants to nurse. This strategy has got him down to nursing once during the day [usually], just before his nap. Not turning him away is very important to me because at his age, nursing is part-food, but part-comfort & feeling close to me. I don't whip out a boob instantaneously when he wants to nurse--he's old enough to begin to wait for me and develop a little patience, but I also want him to know that he can trust me to provide for his needs. So there's a "relationship" aspect to nursing a toddler, too.

* * *

With everything you go through helping your child with food allergies, what is the biggest lesson you've learned?

The biggest lesson I've learned might be learning how to explain big scary things to my child, yet making him feel in control of this and empowered to handle a situation. I don't know if I've been completely successful at this, but we've done pretty okay I think. He is afraid of his allergy, to be sure. But he knows our plan, he trusts us to take care of him, and he understands that we (and he) are in control. It's a very fine line, as you know. I've also learned that I can be brave and composed when my child is scared.


* * *

Do your older kids get embarrassed when you write about them on your blog? Do you plan to stop writing about them, or use fake names, because of privacy concerns as they get older?

I have often wondered how my writing about them will change as they get older. They are aware of the blog and that I write about them. As far as Ryan's concerned now, it's all good because he has declared that he wants to be famous (and rich and in charge of the world)! Anything I can do to help. :)

They don't read my blog, but I think one day they probably will. I will talk to them about the stories I share and I think that if/when they don't want me to share certain things about them, then I'll respect that. It will be something we all have to work out together, but I'm confident we'll be able to figure something out. I imagine this will come up as they approach the teenage years.

As it is, I do not share very personal stories that I think they'll feel embarrassed about when they're older, either because they're silly or in a particular case, a very serious transgression that one of them will probably feel very badly about when they're old enough to understand all of the implications of what might have happened.

I would like them to look back on the things I wrote and hopefully see how much fun we all had together, even when I was feeling worried or frustrated by some particular thing. I want them to know that this is the best job I've ever had.

* * *

And, of course, the most important:

Do you have any theories about who DRUNKHULK really is? ~Ans

I really, really don't! I wish I knew because I'd like to have a drink with him. :)

Yay for Formspring! And yay for those who sent me interesting questions--send me more!

O Blog, I Have Neglected Thee!

It's been one of those weeks. Not one of Those Weeks, a phrase in which those capitalized words have a rather menacing tone, which is good. Nothing about this week was menacing--just BUSY.

The first AOS event was a huge success! Of the 80-ish people who signed up for our announcements list, about 28-30 showed up to our Social! I met some really nice people, and tried very hard to talk to everyone who was new to me, but I'm sure I missed some folks. Brendan and I didn't get to eat anything until the Social was nearly over, we were so busy talking and mingling and introducing, etc.

The peopleguy I spoke to at the restaurant when I was arranging things told me "Tuesday nights were pretty dead anyway" so not to fear we'd have a lot of room in the open area near the bar. She must have told that to the other large group, too--it was really crowded. But that's okay, one of the guys at that other event wandered over to us later that evening after his original group was dissipating and joined us! How's that for increasing membership? They do have a room available for reservation, and I heard from many there that they might be interested in trying that, so we'll give that a try next time, just to see how we like the change.

Now that things are officially up and running with AOS, I'm going to hand off chunks of the responsibility to some willing folks, which is good, because I need to get some of this information out of my head and tasks off of my task-list. I knew this would be a lot of work at the beginning, and as different pieces get going it will continue to be somewhat labor-intensive, but I have so many other things I want to do in my life, too, so I'm happy to share the labor as much as I can. And I'm really happy that I know so many awesome people who are willing to do my bidding help out for their own selfish reasons, too. :o)

So there was that. But this week was also a week in which we had homeschool co-op; homeschool soccer started up (both Ryan and Morgan are playing this time); Ryan decided to drop taekwondo for a little while (which will free up quite a bit of time for all of us); Sean caught yet another cold; Daylight Savings Time happened (which meant the kids were super-difficult to get to bed at night because they are all creatures of routine and even one hour's difference screws us all up); Ryan finally figured out what he wants to do for his birthday so we planned that; I gave Morgan her first piano lessons; we took a trip up to the cabin to get it ready finally for the new cabin peopleguys and hand over the cabin keys to the new cabin peopleguys; I did even more cabin-related things (and I'm so happy we have new cabin peopleguys, even though I still even MORE stuff to do for the transition!); oh . . . and a zillion other things.

Some interesting links to tide you over until I can write again (very soon, I hope!):

• The latest Objectivist Round Up is over at The Little Things!

• Diana has a new project: Modern Paleo! Very cool.
  

• I'm distressed about the healthcare stuff to no end, even though some would say I ought to be thanking the rest of America for being willing to pay for Brendan's Type 1 diabetes, a very expensive chronic condition to be saddled with . . . . I was encouraged to read that there's at least one state in the Union that is prepared to fight this! All hope is not lost!

Busy. But happily busy! :o) Life is good.

Interesting TED Talk on Motivation

The teacher of our PD workshop mentioned this talk in class the other day, and I watched it yesterday morning. The speaker is Dan Pink, and the topic is "The Surprising Science of Motivation." You can watch, too, if you want:




I remember discussing this in grad school over ten years ago. I remember discussing motivation ideas with my bosses, and with my employees. I remember participating in motivation programs so I could get bonuses. With my children, as you probably are aware, we do not use motivation programs (reward systems).

There's lots I'd love to discuss and simply don't have the time right this second. So I'll just make a couple of quick points about the video.

First, I really liked what Dan Pink had to say, but he is clearly not an Objectivist, and there are several philosophical issues that he touches on about which I'd disagree (mainly, he's pro-altruism, and he used to be a speech writer for Al Gore, so we clearly disagree about much). So keep in mind I'm not in 100% agreement with everything he says.

Nor have I evaluated the studies for myself--at least recently. I got out of grad school 10 years ago, and left my last "real job" 9 years ago, so that's about the last time I've thought about the issue of motivation in business, outside of reading Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn, who cites some of those studies in his book. I wish I had the time to sit down and read some of these studies (has anyone compiled them? Maybe Pink has.) and hope one day to do just that.

One thought that came to mind as I watched the video was: "Yeah, you say reward systems don't really work unless they are focused on easy, repetitive tasks. Maybe the problem isn't reward systems as such, but they way in which the reward system is designed. Maybe the problem is really building better reward systems."

Then I remembered trying to design incentive programs for my employees. It was really really hard because you had to motivate them to do X while maintaining a certain level of Y (time, quality, etc.) and not accidentally provide them an incentive to do Z. (Z = Those "unintended consequences" that our politicians are so notorious for accidentally encouraging.) Extremely difficult, not to mention time- and resource-consuming. And then we'd have to change it up after a little while because the system stopped being motivating for the employees.

Then I thought about the time I got desperate and tried to reward Ryan for using the potty. Sigh. One problem with extrinsic motivation is that the person on the outside who is thinking up these programs must constantly monitor and adjust the reward system to "catch" a Z before it happens, or make sure that the level of Y is met, and redirect people back toward X. It's a lot of work as a manager and a lot of work as a Mommy. Easier for me (speaking as Mommy here) to set a limit, ensure compliance with the limit, and then I'm off the hook for having to come up with tweaks to the reward system. (I have to monitor anyway, of course.)

Mr. Pink is talking about businesses, managers and employees. But much of what he says can apply to children as well. At about 13:22 in the video, Mr. Pink says (my transcription):

"Traditional notions of management are great if you want compliance. But if you want engagement, self-direction works better."

The same statement can apply to parenting as well. If you consider that the child's "job" is to grow up, and when he's grown that he will possess certain life skills (like knowing how to do laundry and reading), and hopefully good morality (including virtues such as honesty and productiveness) and will know how to use his mind to think rationally and solve problems, then parenting strategies that focus on getting the child to obey and encourage him to look ever outward for his sense of accomplishment and self-worth--toward a gold star or a smiling parent or a "Good Boy!"--can unintentionally create a tendency toward second-handedness, a dependence on others.

Freedom and non-interference can help kids develop their Intrinsic Motivation Muscles (to adapt a phrase from PD), in much the same way as Google's 20% Time (mentioned in the video) has resulted in amazing developments for that company. And indeed, my personal parenting premises are centered around providing my kids with as much freedom and non-interference as I possibly can.

And I'm sure you know this, but I feel compelled to state this, lest I'm misunderstood. I'm not suggesting a free-for-all anything-goes lifestyle for children. I think permissive parenting harms kids (and parents, and the relationship between kids and parents), too. Children are not adults, and we parents must always be ready and willing to step in to set and enforce reasonable and rational limits. And that must happen sometimes--it is part of the parenting deal.

Also, the issue of motivation in a parent-child relationship has different challenges than in a business environment. Parents hold considerable influence over their children, who are still developing their brains (not fully rational), and are completely dependent on their parents. As my friend Kelly pointed out yesterday (and in lots of conversations we've had on this topic, 'cause she's so smart), in a business situation, the employee is free to leave if they don't like the terms of employment; a child is not (except in very rare cases). Sure, the decision to leave might be difficult for that employee, and it may not be something he especially wants to do (sometimes choosing between two enormous values is hard!), but he CAN leave. He knows this, and so do his bosses.

Children have no such option, which is why I still view the parent-child relationship as more akin to a government-citizen relationship than a business-employee relationship. I'm free to leave and take jobs, and yes, I am free to decide not to pay my taxes. But I don't think employers are going to throw me in jail for quitting a job when they didn't want me to quit; the government has real power over me to restrict and remove my freedoms.

Parents have a similar kind of power over their children. I can restrict and remove my kids' freedom to act. I have done this, and will continue to do this as I see it is necessary. But I am not the government, and their happiness is tied up with mine--meaning, I want my children to grow up and become happy adults. That would make ME very happy, as it makes me happy when anyone I care about deeply is happy.

For happiness, I think they need rationality and to use the virtues in order to achieve that happiness. I also think that they need practice at doing this while they are growing up, to try things out and make mistakes in an environment of loving support. They can't practice, not really, if I entice them with rewards or make them fear a punishment for making a mistake. And if I keep their focus on external motivators, they will not get to strengthen their Intrinsic Motivation Muscles.

Okay, so I really had a lot more to say than I thought I did. Surprise, surprise! Anyway, interesting stuff, motivation. And kind of tricky, too. Lots of food for thought there.

Certified!

I am proud to announce that I'm now certifiable a Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator! There are many more classes and steps to take to become fully certified (which I plan to do), but this is the first step. I'm officially a CPDPE.

The workshop was wonderful, and I have so much information to process, and many, many ideas to mull over for the future. But I am hoping to turn this--teaching PD classes and workshops--into a side business. Obviously, it will be very part-time for the foreseeable future, but it's definitely something I could grow.

What I found most beneficial, besides the materials that I can use to demonstrate some of the ideas in Positive Discipline, was remembering that not everybody who uses PD sets the same kinds of limits I do. This is helpful for me to remember, and will be very important going forward. For example, there are PD ways to handle homework (which we don't have, and probably will not ever need to deal with in the same way as families who send their kids to school). There are PD ways to handle meal times in homes that have more restrictions with food than we do. There are PD ways to handle so many things that are different for us, because we have either chosen not to do them here for whatever reasons, or haven't yet reached that stage (teenagers!).

I was also reminded that facilitation skills are not necessarily the same as having expertise and all the answers. My job before I had Ryan was as a Performance Improvement Consultant for the large pediatric hospital system here in Atlanta. I was specifically brought into the department because I was not clinical. My co-workers were all nurses by trade, and they felt strongly that they wanted an "outsider" as part of the team. I had the business training, took the training in how to facilitate process improvement teams, and my non-clinical background actually did become one of my strengths. Someone who isn't intimately familiar with all of the ins and outs of a specific situation will ask questions, and can ask questions in a way that helps those who are familiar look at their situation in a slightly different way. Often, I would be brought in on projects I wasn't directly involved with, just to ask my newbie questions and get people to think in a slightly different--and hopefully better--direction.

And I'm happy to say that my facilitation training all came back to me as I was leading a group through an exercise. Whew! As an introvert, this kind of activity is not naturally comfortable to me, but my years of managing people, facilitating process improvement teams, and presenting projects in graduate school have apparently stuck with me. Hoo. Ray. (I actually used my MBA today!) I'm not saying I'll be super-perfect at this, but I am confident this is something I can do, and improve as I go along.

I'm SO excited! Kelly (who took the training, too) and I are planning all sorts of fun things. :o)

FIVE

We received our "Guess What? We're Going To Send You The Census Soon" letter yesterday. (How much does that mass mailing set us taxpayers back? How ridiculous.) And FIVE will be my answer.

The first question on the 2010 Census reads:

How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010? (taken from the online version of the form)

So, FIVE. There are five people who live in this house, up three from 10 years ago, who'd ever have imagined! And that is the only thing we're going to tell the Census, even if they come here and visit us again.

Actually, looking at Question 2, I suppose I'd be okay with marking "No Additional People" just to make sure they know that there really and truly are only five people here. Everything else, including name, sex, race, etc. we're leaving blank. I don't really care if they've asked this since 1790 (as you'll see if you go over there and look at the questionnaire).

According to the website referenced above:

Each question helps to determine how more than $400 billion will be allocated to communities across the country.

I'm totally opposed to the redistribution of that $400 BILLION (redistribution = taking from some and then giving back to others, "for the greater good" or "for the children" or for other reasons). It is wrong for them to take the money, even for worthy goals. So I am not going to help them determine anything along those lines. I'm just not.

Oh, looking more at the website, I have learned that we will probably be visited:

Do I have to talk to the census taker?

Yes. Your participation in the 2010 Census is vital and required by law, (Section 221, of Title 13 of the U.S. Code). However, rather than rely on criminal charges, the Census Bureau is very successful in getting participation by explaining the importance of the questions we ask and how the information benefits our communities.

So nice--they don't rely on criminal charges, because they're "successful" at "getting participation." You know why they're successful? Because most people don't even take half a second to question this at all.

We are so accustomed to following such rules--we're used to handing over all manner of information to the driver's license bureau and the car tag bureau. We sign up our kids for government schools and pay our taxes and take advantage of tax credits and are grateful for the money we're allowed to keep. We expect them to tell us which drugs are safe and which medical procedures we can have and which food is salmonella-free, because we've lost the ability to determine these things for ourselves.

You know what? I'd be happy if more people just took a few minutes to think about what they're doing when filling this information out. Even if they decide to provide it anyway. Just think for a moment about how much we have become dependent on the government. Think about how we are supposed to be grown adults, and how much of our lives are being determined, even in small ways, by other people who think they know better than we do how best to choose the Good for ourselves.

It may seem like a small thing--and it really is--but it's just one way I can say "No. This far, and no further." The more we all say this, in big and in small ways, the better to preserve what is left of our eroding freedoms.

Secular Thursday

Hey, I remembered! :o)

This Secular Thursday, I'll re-post my answer to a question that someone asked me on Formspring.

jenn, is this swing to the right in America, more secular than the prior few?

Interesting question. [Disclaimer: Politics in the high-level abstract is not my strong suit. I'm much better at dealing with politics in a focused way, on concrete issues, preferably locally and/or in a specific area that matters a lot to me.]

If by "swing to the right" you mean the Tea Party Movement, then I guess I'd say that I *hope* there really is a swing--not so much "to the right" as "away from the road to blatant socialism."

I see small signs that the resistance to the march to socialism is secular, and I sure hope it sticks. For example, when I was in contact with religious folks during the tea party efforts last year, nobody batted an eyelash about my non-religiosity (is that a word?). That could have been an issue, but it wasn't--I was even invited to record a speech at the Tax Day Tea Party in Atlanta.

Was this acceptance merely due to the fact that like-minded (but not same-minded) folks were willing to shoulder up with each other and stand up for ideas they had in common? Maybe. Maybe that's all it was. I really don't know--but I know that I'm still in contact with many of those people, and we are still working towards the same goals.

I'll say this though--and it's less to do with politics than just My Life--my atheist/secular status is really less of a deal than it ever used to be. I have all kinds of people who read my blog or follow my tweets or are FB friends. Atheism as such isn't one of my particular interests, not something I feel like I need to advocate a lot, so I don't post on that topic as much as other topics that interest and pertain to me more (homeschooling, Objectivism, parenting, etc.). But I'm "out" there as an atheist, and it's not been such a big thing. Especially on the blog or Twitter, where Anonymous people lurk and sometimes offer unsolicited opinions on a variety of subjects.

I'm part of a large secular/inclusive homeschooling group, here in the South of all places. There are Christians and Jews and pagans and more. And I'm completely comfortable saying the words "I'm an atheist." I like that.

So, this response has been a little meandering, but hey, that's me! To sum up: "Maybe." and "I sure hope so."

LinkFest for a Thursday

Any Thursday edition of a Linkfest simply must begin with the latest Objectivist Round Up, found at Titanic Deck Chairs!


I'm keeping an eye on the recent developments in Colorado regarding Amazon's decision to discontinue its Associates program for bloggers based in that state. Ari and Diana have written about the situation, and they have a new website going, too. This is important for every blogger who participates in the Amazon Associates program (which I do), or any similar program. If it can happen in Colorado, it can happen in any state.


Speaking of state legislatures, I'm disappointed not to have received any sort of response from my Senator regarding my email yesterday. Not even a form letter. Boo.


This was a really, really interesting post: Teen Slacker Mentality and Phony Homeschool Moms. So interesting to get a glimpse into life with preteens/teenagers, particularly in a homeschooling situation. Good stuff to think about, especially as I seem to have to deal with teenage attitude from the not-quite-eight-year-old.


In peanut allergy news, word of the results of two new studies is in. These papers were presented at a American Academy of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology (AAAAI) conference a couple of weeks ago. For the first time, a double-blind placebo controlled study demonstrated that oral immunotherapy is a viable treatment (not cure) for peanut allergies! The second study showed that some of the participants in the study were able to tolerate peanut after the treatment had stopped (this has been a concern). Dr. Burks (a well-known food allergy researcher, who is in charge of this study at Duke) said:

“We are now trying to identify characteristics in those subjects who were able to stop the therapy to better understand who might be a good candidate for this treatment.”

In other words, they are still trying to understand why the treatment worked on some, but not others, and hopefully will be able to determine why. If they can figure out why, it will help both groups (those who couldn't tolerate and those who could).

Note--these are very small, very controlled clinical studies. This is only the beginning, but what a step down the road toward a cure! I'm not a doctor, so I can only just grasp the enormity of what they must understand in order to cure food allergies. But I think I understand enough to know that This is Big. Wow.


And finally, don't forget! If you're in Atlanta next Tuesday night, our first Atlanta Objectivist Society Social is happening! Click 'Socials' on our website to sign up and get more info.

Wow, I have so many interesting things I'd love to write about in my head, and I hope I can do some more writing this afternoon. I'll probably be too busy to write much tomorrow or Saturday, due to the workshop I'm going to! And, alas, laundry and children keep calling me--some for information about the Peloponnesian Wars or reading or snacks or for some other pressing reason.

Opposing Georgia State Senate Bill 132

Currently working its way through our state legislature is SB 132, aka "The Dropout Deterrent Act." The purpose of this bill is to "deter dropouts" by forcing all children in Georgia to remain in a state-approved schooling situation for one more year of their lives--it will raise the compulsory attendance age from 16 to 17.

Clearly this is a ridiculous bill, and I wrote to my State Senator this afternoon. Here's the text of my letter:

Dear Mr. Wiles,

As one of your constituents, I am writing to you to ask that you oppose SB 132, which would raise the compulsory attendance age for all students in Georgia from 16 to 17. Compulsory attendance laws serve to promote one thing, and one thing only--students sitting in desks. Of course, such laws do not guarantee that a student will learn anything at all. These misguided attempts to keep kids in school increase costs, keep potentially disruptive (and certainly bored or resentful) students in classes with other students who might want to learn, and interfere with these young people making other beneficial choices for their lives (such as taking a job, or even just learning "the hard way" why education is important).

Forcing ALL children to remain in any school (public, private, or a home study program) an extra year is not necessarily going to "deter" those students who would drop out. They'll still want to drop out, and many of them will anyway. Simply keeping them in a desk for an extra year is not necessarily going to result in any extra learning (as if his mere presence in a school, under force of law, will somehow mean that reading, writing, and/or arithmetic will get accidentally absorbed by the student).

It seems ridiculous to imagine that keeping such students in high school for another year when they don't want to be there will help their lives. It seems obvious, on the other hand, to imagine that keeping students in high school an extra year will result in a need for more funding (for buildings and teachers and those desks which these students will occupy). With all of the talk of budget cuts and teacher furlough days, I can't figure out how on earth the State could possibly bear the extra cost burden this Act would create without increasing taxes. As a taxpayer, I already resent having money that I could use for the benefit of my own family taken from me in order to fund schools. It makes me even more irate to consider the likelihood that Georgia will probably expect more money from me in order to keep students in high school against their will.

As a homeschooling parent, I have another specific concern--that the language in the Act will serve as a way for the State to involve itself in cases where a homeschooling parent-teacher has determined that their sixteen-year-old has met the requirements for a high school diploma. That is a determination that rightfully belongs with the homeschooling parent and it needs to stay that way.

Thank you for listening to my concerns. I hope you share my concerns and will mount a principled opposition to this bill. There is absolutely no need to criminalize young people for not sitting in a school desk at the age of sixteen.

I have no idea if he'll do what I hope he does. Guess I'll find out. Ridiculous. I keep using that word, because it's the only word that fits the idea that making kids stay in school for one extra year is going to anything to "deter" dropouts, especially when everyone here is all up in arms about mandatory teacher furlough days (unpaid vacation days for teachers to save money).

Even more concerning to me, as I wrote to Mr. Wiles, is the language which states : " . . . the child has successfully completed all requirements for a high school diploma." We homeschoolers in Georgia are blissfully free of specific State requirements regarding curricula or diploma requirements. I'd really like us to stay that way.

If you're in Georgia and are concerned about this bill, which will affect ALL students and probably ALL taxpayers, please take a few minutes to write your State Senator. The legislative session generally ends at the end of March or beginning of April. If the bill goes no further in the process this year, we'll have time to mount a more organized opposition should this come up in 2011.

Catching Up

Since I just KNOW you can't stand it if I don't tell you everything that happens in my life, I'll fill you in on Important Things from the Recent Past and Near Future. It's no trouble a-tall.

Shea and Alyssa and Miranda came for a visit, and we had a really fun time getting to know each other in real life. We virtually knew each other, of course, so it wasn't as if we had completely random strangers off the street staying in the guest rooms (as we are wont to do*), but there's no substitute for The Real Thing, I think.

Kelly came over and played with us (the whole weekend felt like a big playdate for grownups), and of course Brendan and Aaron were there, too. Actually, for Brendan and Aaron, the weekend might have been a little strange, since they have more productive things to do with their lives than Twitter and blog are less active online than Kelly and I.

Some highlights:

• Talking and talking and talking (yay)

• There are now three more people in the world who understand exactly what I mean when I write on the blog, regarding Ryan : "There's no way I can possibly capture what he said verbatim, so I'll just try to sum up."

• Party at the house of our friends, and meeting John and Ansley and other Objectivists.

• Watching Sean and Morgan and Ryan be "free-range" with long pointed marshmallow roasting sticks + large roaring fire.

• A photo shoot, that was pretty cute, although I realized once it was going that I ought to have tried to influence the choosing of the kids' outfits, since they are decidedly NOT matchy (but appropriate to each child, so I think that's something, too).

• Henna tattoos! (Next time I'll get one....I kept meaning to, but kept getting busy and forgetting to ask.)

• Beatles Rock Band, natch.

• The kids had fun with lots of new people to bend to their wills play with them and listen to them and draw pictures with them and worry them that they might be the babysitter and Mom and Dad are probably going to disappear imminently.

• Talking to Rory via the magicks of the internets, and especially watching him interact with The People.

• Meatza!

• Cutest Moment of the weekend: Morgan, dressed all in pink and white, running into the house to give Brendan a fistful of dandelions she'd picked.
  

And I'm sure I'm missing a few things. The weather nicened up (I just made that word up and I like it) and it was about fricking time, in my opinion. So we all got to see sunshine!

It was a really nice time. Shea and Alyssa and Miranda were super fun and nice and really patient with the kids. Hanging out with college-y people reminded me of Brendan and me and C. and some of the silly stuff we used to do. Good times, and though I'm very happy to be right where I am (and even looking forward to turning 40 this year in a way), it was a nice feeling, to be taken back a little. I only felt really old when someone pointed out that they're closer in age to my kids than to me! But then the Old went away and I felt like Me again. Besides, like a nice Scotch, I only improve with age, baby!

Our guests all left for other parts yesterday, and we have a few days of Getting Back to our Normal Routine before said routine gets shot all to hell again. Somehow I have to get up to the cabin and back twice, to repair our gate before our new property managers get us officially listed as available for rent by March 15. Kelly and I are taking a two-day Positive Discipline workshop on Friday and Saturday, which will be fun, but also change our routine. And I have so much laundry and moving books back downstairs and grocery shopping and stuff for AOS and ideas for the blog and other things to do . . . and it's really really hard to want to do any of these things now that Spring is finally here!

So I guess I ought to go off and take a few steps in the right direction toward these worthy goals. Or possibly just sit outside with a book and watch the kids play. Decisions, decisions . . .


*Made you look! I'm really just kidding about that.

Your Saturday Morning Dose of Awesome

We have visitors! If you follow me on Twitter, you might know that @shlevy, @AlyssaMae12, and @mirandabarzey are visiting for the weekend.

We just watched this video on The Big Wall (yes, Ryan dug it):





via @Tenure, who has the nerve to be halfway across the globe. :o)

Conversation of the Day

Here's something I bet many parents have never heard their kid say from the back of the car:

Ryan: "Hey Mom! You know what? Hitler and I are a lot alike, you know why?"


Me: "Um? Uh . . . why?"


Ryan (the following is only a rough estimate of his narration, content and style, since there's no possible way I can get this verbatim outside of having him miced* 24/7): "Well, we both like battles and wars and have lots of soldiers, well, I plan to have lots of soldiers I mean. Also I am going to take over the world, and that's what Hitler wanted to do."


Me: " . . . !"


Ryan continued cheerfully: "So yeah I'm going to have lots of soldiers and take over the world. Only I'M going to take over the whole world for Freedom. What I mean is, I'll take over a country, and then I'll say 'If you guys want Freedom, then you can have your country back.' And then I'll give it back and they can be free."


Me: "What will you do if they don't want Freedom?"


Ryan, innocently unconscious of any contradiction inherent in his words: "Well, then I'll show them all of my soldiers and AT-ATs and robots and then I'll say 'If you don't want Freedom, then I guess we'll have to fight.' And then they'll prob'ly be all scared and say 'Okay, OKAY! We'll take some Freedom!' because they'll be so scared of me and my soldiers. But if they don't, I'll just run their country until they want Freedom."


Sometimes I really really wonder just who it is I'm raising. By the way, you are all put on notice that Ryan will be taking over the whole world one day. He'll ask you a question. Choose wisely. :o)


*I looked it up.

Objectivist Round Up #138

Welcome to the March 4, 2010 edition of the Objectivist Round Up.

As I am preparing for our new community group's first event, I am receiving inquiries from many people who are new to Ayn Rand's ideas. One point that many people are often unclear about, especially if they are interested in the political aspects of her ideas, is that Objectivists don't just advocate laissez-faire capitalism . . . there are philosophical reasons for this, philosophical underpinnings that are essential.

So the quotation from Ayn Rand I've chosen for this edition of the Round Up addresses this issue (via the online version of The Ayn Rand Lexicon):

Objectivism is a philosophical movement; since politics is a branch of philosophy, Objectivism advocates certain political principles—specifically, those of laissez-faire capitalism—as the consequence and the ultimate practical application of its fundamental philosophical principles. It does not regard politics as a separate or primary goal, that is: as a goal that can be achieved without a wider ideological context.

Politics is based on three other philosophical disciplines: metaphysics, epistemology and ethics—on a theory of man’s nature and of man’s relationship to existence. It is only on such a base that one can formulate a consistent political theory and achieve it in practice. When, however, men attempt to rush into politics without such a base, the result is that embarrassing conglomeration of impotence, futility, inconsistency and superficiality which is loosely designated today as “conservatism.” Objectivists are not “conservatives.” We are radicals for capitalism; we are fighting for that philosophical base which capitalism did not have and without which it was doomed to perish.

“Choose Your Issues,” The Objectivist Newsletter, Jan. 1962, 1.

As always, for more information, visit the Ayn Rand Institute, or check out her books for yourself!

And now, on to the Round Up!

Roderick Fitts presents Prerequisites for Understanding Bacon's Induction Part 1: Natural Magic posted at Inductive Quest, saying, "To understand Bacon, we need to understand his contemporaries, those of Natural Magic, and the Aristotelians of his time. This paper deals with the first."

Rachel Miner presents Naked's Not News posted at The Playful Spirit, saying, "I'm musing. Clearly, there is a connection between nudity and sexuality at some point. I've been surprised at my son's comfort with nudity within the home as he has gotten older. I'm curious when, if ever, did you insist on privacy when changing? Are the privacy rules different for the parent of the opposite gender? I review the thoughts and behaviors we've observed."

Ottens presents Life, Liberty and the Right to Property posted at Atlantic Sentinel, saying, "There is no better time to remember why property rights are inalienabale."

Joseph Kellard presents The Selfish Figure Skater posted at The American Individualist, saying, "An Olympic figure skater said that her recently-deceased mother taught her to think of herself first. She did just that and won a bronze medal."

Tom Stelene presents Some Observations & Thoughts On Dictators posted at The Audacity of Independence, saying, "Barack Obama is not an especially impressive man. Other men led similarly unimpressive lives - before they became dictators. It is disturbing that the general characteristics of these dictators are seen in President Barack Obama."

Francis Luong (Franco) presents On Tiger Woods's Alleged Selfishness posted at Just Add Rationality, saying, "Tiger's mistake is that the range of his consideration in his personal life was short and narrow. His method was irrational. The problem was *not* that he was selfish, if we mean by selfish that he acted in his own interest."

Paul Hsieh presents Ryan At The Summit posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "The recent health care "summit" shows why Republicans need to argue that ObamaCare is *immoral*, not just impractical."

Ari Armstrong presents Conservative Deceit About Christian Liberty posted at Free Colorado, saying, "Reply to David Limbaugh about the political threat of the religious right."

Sandi Trixx presents "Selfishness" in Sports posted at Sandi Trixx, saying, "Is it selfish to lose?"

Tod presents Open Letter about Boycotting Oil Companies posted at A Blog by Tod, saying, "An open letter in response to those who seek to boycott oil companies."

Amit Ghate presents Misplaced Blame posted at Thrutch, saying, "Responding to a NY Times article, I suggest a different culprit to explain why patients can't access experimental drugs."

Trey Givens presents How to Mix a Reasonably Good Manhattan (Should Your Restaurant Peopleguy be Unfamiliar) posted at Trey Givens, saying, "I considered submitting a serious post this week because I actually have discussed some ideas of substance recently, but then I figured booze would get more universal attention than gay sex or Mary-Kate Olsen."

Jeff Montgomery presents The New Criterion Still Wrong On Rand posted at Fun With Gravity, saying, "In this follow-up commentary on the uproar over their terrible Ayn Rand article in February, The New Criterion again fails to understand Rand's philosophy."

Diana Hsieh presents Sex in Guest Bedrooms posted at NoodleFood, saying, "Miss Manners answers a question on the etiquette of sex while staying in another person's home."

Jim Woods presents EU Non-cooperative On Terrorism Finances posted at Words by Woods, saying, "Obama Administration loses European cooperation in rollback of significant Bush Administration foreign policy success."

Rituparna Basu presents The Unselfish Actions of Today’s “Selfish” Men posted at The Undercurrent, saying, "Over the past year, we have seen many highly-publicized instances of people being caught acting dishonestly. However, are the actions of individuals like Tiger Woods and Bernie Madoff truly selfish? Rituparna discusses how true selfishness requires consideration for the long-range consequences of one's actions in this article. This will be included in the Spring 2010 print edition, which is only available to order until Thursday March 4th!"

Jason Stotts presents TED: Temple Grandin posted at Erosophia, saying, "New understandings of autism may raise epistemological inquiries as the standard idea that all brains think in the same way is coming into question."

C.W. presents My Return; Four Comments posted at Krazy Economy, saying, "Four different subjects are briefly addressed, including the Treausry's attempt to grab your retirment assets, the continued recession, government health care spending at 50% of total, and a silly conservative reply to the global warming crowd."

Doug Reich presents Does the Decline of the Democrats mean the Decline of the Republicans? posted at The Rational Capitalist, saying, "As the Democratic Party melts down, the Republicans, as usual, demonstrate why a contradictory philosophy can not form the foundation of an effective political movement. I offer 24 policy proposals in the context of wider moral and political principles to serve as a focal point for Tea Party activists attempting to makeover the Republican Party."

Jenn Casey presents On Free Time and Benign Neglect posted at Rational Jenn, saying "One of the great advantages of homeschooling is the fact that my kids have lots of free time in which to explore the world. And I stay out of their free time, which benefits them . . . and me!"

That concludes this week's edition. Titanic Deck Chairs will be hosting next week. Submit your blog article to that edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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