Pumpkins

We finally got around to carving our pumpkins tonight (and by 'we' I of course mean 'Brendan'). The kids were super excited, even Sean who didn't really understand what we were talking about, but just seems to like pumpkins in general.

Here are our creations:







Ryan's is Dracula and he did all the designing and bossing Brendan about how to carve it. SO nice now that he's older, he can take on some of the Brendan Bossing responsibilities for me. :)







Sean's is called Surprise! He decided on the circle eyes and triangle nose. Ryan suggested the surprised mouth. Good call.







Morgan's is called The Two-Teethed Circle. She designed it and named it her very own self.

We managed to get a nice crop of pumpkin seeds out of the trio, and I'm drying them now to make our annual treat of roasted pumpkin seeds. (We can't buy them at the store as they're all peanut-contaminated--if you know of a peanut-free brand, leave me a comment!)

No adults and only two children were harmed in the carving of the pumpkins (not our best year). Morgan managed to fall off the table, landing hard on her arm and causing Sean's uncarved pumpkin to land on top of her. (It's funny now.) Sean, in his eagerness to put a glow stick in his (carved) pumpkin to see it glow, managed to run into the side of the table with his eye. Both will be sporting nice bruises for Halloween. He'll be Bouncer Oompa Loompa, heh.

So, yay! Pumpkins!

More About Halloween

In case you have been following the thrilling saga of how our HOA unilaterally decided to change the date of Halloween, here's the update.

While on vacation, I exchanged a couple more emails with the President (a nice guy who lives a few doors down) about the Halloween issue. He indicated that the change was due to the School Night issue (and I believe him as they are one of the only other atheist families I know of in the neighborhood). They wanted to make things easier on parents and kids getting up for work and school the next day.

I recognize that the decision was well-intentioned, I really do. Still. The School Night Reason does not fly.

So I wrote him back. In addition to the other well-reasoned logically sound points I'd mentioned before, I noted it's not within the scope or duties of our HOA to make things either easier or more difficult for parents. It is not for them to get involved in what is essentially a parenting issue. If a parent does not want her child out late on a school night, then that is for the parent to decide and limit. What is the HOA going to do next? Set recommended guidelines for how many pieces of candy each kid should eat, or how long he ought to brush his teeth, in order to make dentist appointments easier on everyone?

Besides, let's face it--trick-or-treating for the kids in our neighborhood (the ones who are actually T or T aged--I'm not counting the teenagers who still beg for free candy) is typically over by 8pm. Maybe a little late for a School Night? I dunno. If it is, then it is the job of the parents to get their kids inside and de-sugared in time for nighty-night. NOT THE HOA'S CONCERN. Not even one little bit.

I reiterated that even though trick-or-treating takes place in our neighborhood, the holiday is a cultural event, not a neighborhood-sponsored event.

He then wrote me back and basically told me that yes, they realize this change had been poorly communicated AND not done in a timely manner. But they're going to keep the change because:

"At this point, to switch it back to Sunday would upset a whole new group of people as they have moved their plans to do it on Saturday."

So it's apparently just fine to upset the rest of the neighborhood who made their plans based on 12 years of personal history in the neighborhood, not to mention however many years of being aware that Halloween falls on the 31st of October. There was absolutely no response to my point that School Nights fall within the realm of parenting, let alone the completely illogical nonsense of the School Night issue in the first place (because it's never ever a problem to trick-or-treat on a Wednesday night!).

And no acknowledgment of the fact that their terrible communication WILL result in two T or T nights for our neighborhood.

Ridiculous. I gave up after that, as it was plain that even though they acknowledge their error in communication, no amount of good reasoning was going to sway them.

And it doesn't actually matter if they reverse themselves or not.

Lots of neighbors are planning to T or T on the 31st despite the HOA, and our party will take place as planned. If fewer homes are open, oh well--less candy for the kids, which some parents might view as a silver lining, I guess. :) Because of the peanut allergy, my kids trade in all of the candy they collect anyway for a more reasonable amount of peanut-safe candy, so it will have absolutely no effect on them--it's only our guests that might come away with less candy. (I hate it though, our neighborhood has always been rocking awesome to T or T in--people come to us from other neighborhoods for the experience!)

And there can be no sanction against us for not going along with their decision (further proof that they are acting beyond the proper scope of their responsibilities). It's just more random stupidness that other people try to thrust upon us for no reason other than it's more convenient for them (have I mentioned that the Pres is a school teacher?).

After doing my very best to point out the ridiculousness, there's nothing else left to do other than move on with my life. As Originally Planned.

The real burning question I now have is: how many of my neighbors are sheeple? Probably too many.

Objectivist Round Up!

This week's Round Up is at 3 Ring Binder!

And I think I probably forgot to link to last week's edition (I was having too much fun in Florida!), so I'll fix that now. Last week's was at Reepicheep's Coracle.

Check 'em out and spread the word!

Discovery Toys Fundraiser

I am pleased to announce a big fundraiser for the Atlanta Objectivist Society! I've been a Discovery Toys Peopleguy for a few years (joined up to get the discount on educational toys) and am planning to retire at the end of this year. But I thought it would be nice to go out on a high note!

If you are unfamiliar with Discovery Toys, they are a company that's been around for about 30 years and they specialize in creating fun, durable, educational toys for children from birth through about 10 years of age.

AOS has had a great start this year, and we have big plans for the future. To make some of these plans happen, we need funding. 100% of the proceeds from this fundraiser will go to AOS to pay for advertising, the website, and future events such as MiniCon 2011.

So . . .

If you have children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbor kids, etc. on your Christmas shopping list this year, please consider buying something from DT! The kids will love the toys and AOS will benefit! Also, please pass along the website address and/or a catalog to other family and friends who are shopping for their children!


FIND OUT MORE ABOUT DISCOVERY TOYS:

To learn about the toys, go to the website and check out the catalog. I also have a couple dozen catalogs which Kelly or I will pass out at AOS events. If you have questions about any of the toys, please email or call me.



WHEN TO ORDER:

The fundraiser will be ongoing during the month of November. 100% of the proceeds (after costs) of any orders placed through me or the website from today until the end of November will go to the Atlanta Objectivist Society.



HOW TO ORDER:

Here's the website: http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/jenncasey

In you are in Atlanta: You can place an order through the website, or complete an order form and return it to me. You can also email me with your order number. If you need help with the website, let me know. If you choose to complete an order form/email and you are local, I will enter your order directly into the DT system. The advantage to this is that if I'm entering lots of orders all at once, AOS will become eligible for a cash bonus (amount determined by the amount of toys ordered)!

If you are Out-of-Town: Place orders through the website only.



HOW TO PAY:

If you order online, use your credit card.

If you order via email or order form, you can use cash, check (made out to me) or credit card (all credit card numbers are kept confidential and I destroy any written record of them after processing your order). You can email me for more details.



WHEN TO EXPECT YOUR TOYS:

Orders placed through the website will ship directly to you. It usually takes about 5-7 business days to receive your order.

Orders placed through me (via order form or email) will be entered into the system at the end of November. Your toys should be delivered directly to me during the first couple weeks of December and then I will make arrangements to get them to you.



SPREAD THE WORD!

Please feel free to forward this information or links to the website to your family and friends, even if they live outside of Atlanta! Anyone can participate, anywhere in the US! I plan to announce this on my blog, Twitter, FB, etc. and I encourage you to do the same.


I'm excited about sponsoring this fundraiser. Best of all, it's win-win: all proceeds after costs will go straight to the Atlanta Objectivist Society, and the kids in your lives will receive some awesome toys from you!

Aaaaaand We're Back!

We had just a really fun time in Orlando last week. There's so much to say, but I don't think I'll have time. So I'll just hit the highlights.

My grandmother amazes me--she walked her 90-year-old self all around the parks without too much trouble that I could see. She kept short-ish days (think 6 hours as opposed to the 8-9 hours I tended to do with the kids) and paced herself well. It was a delight to see her with my children (her only great-grandkids), and I wish I'd taken more pictures. (This vacation was different for me in that I barely took ANY pictures for a variety of reasons. Mostly I was being There in the Moment.) I wish we could see her more often, and I'd like to make visiting her in California a priority.

My aunt and uncle--always lots of fun, and I wish we could see them more often. They are slightly more convenient to visit (Boston) and I'd like to make visiting that part of the world a priority (to see them, and others).  My uncle--hilarious, as always. My aunt--kind and thoughtful. We had lots of interesting, fun conversations.

The other big news is that my brother popped the question to his girlfriend while on the trip (I got a sneak-peek at the ring a few hours before--it's gorgeous). She said YES and now I get a new sister! The kids are thrilled because they like her a lot. Lots of exciting times ahead for our family!

Disney World--as fun as always, though having just been there a year ago, it wasn't quite as exciting to me. I think every 2-3 years is a good interval. Sean was super cute, and did indeed seem to enjoy himself in a genuine way (as opposed to merely enjoying being somewhere with mom and dad, as he was last year). He loved the animals at Animal Kingdom (which I thought was more fun this time) and got a kick out of seeing Mickey (though he wouldn't pose for pics with his sister) and enjoyed the "boat ride" to see the Pirates of the Caribbean. He also enjoyed the many, many train rides we took: the trams to and from the car, the Dr. Seuss train at Universal, the People Mover in Tomorrowland, etc. So many trains and he was unafraid to ride anything. There is pretty much nothing that fazes this kid.

The other two had fun, too, though Ryan was so tired by Friday that we rented him a stroller, too. Morgan rode every ride possible (including her first roller coaster at the Harry Potter theme park) and thoroughly enjoyed herself. Ryan is not much of a ride-rider, but managed to have fun on Pirates and Spaceship: Earth. Most especially, he enjoyed the Hall of Presidents, and I am not making that up.

It's nice going to parks with lots of other adults, because they will stay with the kids so I can go on other rides. So I got to go to the Haunted Mansion (and M came with), for example. My sibs and their S.O.s took off for a while to ride roller coasters. I kinda missed being able to do that, but I see the theme park experience as coming in phases. Right now, I'm in the Little Kid Wonderment phase which means not so many roller coasters, and rather a lot of waiting in line for character autographs. The upside of the LKW phase is that they are SO. Freaking. Cute. The next phase is the Big Kid Cool phase, and we'll be able to do more grownup-y rides and there will be less emergency running to the potties (god I hope). After that, the Get Away From Me Mom Teenager phase, where we all split off into groups and meet up for lunch later.

Harry Potter. I tweeted my assessment earlier in the week, but I'll elaborate a bit. I give it a B-. The Hogwarts castle tour was interesting (you wandered through the greenhouses and into the castle with moving paintings and Dumbledore's study). The ride at the end of the tour was, in a word, ABSOLUTELY FREAKING AMAZING. I've never been on anything that fun or exciting I don't think. Brendan took Morgan on the Hippogriff ride and she had a wonderful time. My sister, brother-in-law, brother and future-sister-in-law all loved the Dragon Roller Coaster. So those things were cool.

But. It's TINY. One street of Hogsmeade/Diagon Alley. Just one little street. It looks cools, all fake-snow-frosted, but many of the shops aren't actually shops. Lots of doors that don't open. Zonko's and Honeyduke's are there (Brendan heard one lady complaining that the toys at Zonko's weren't spiffy enough--I guess she was expecting actual magic?). Ollivander's wand shop had a line 60 minutes long, so we skipped that. There's The Three Broomsticks, which my parents, grandma, and aunt & uncle tried before we all got there--you get in line and pay and get your food, and then stand with your food in another line to be seated. Wha???? Proper Waiting Line Management for Butterbeer was similarly absent. Oh, and the music! They blast the music from the movies repeatedly over and over at loud volume. Sure, they play music at Disney, too, but much more quietly, and there are actually places with no background noise at all. At Harry Potter World--there is NO escape from the loud music.

I don't know. It was neat and all, but there was SO MUCH MORE they could have done with it. I get the feeling they only had so much space and what they did with it was cute. But really, it needs a full park of its own, not a little corner in another park. Someone asked me how long I'd spend there if I could spend all the time I wanted to, and didn't have the kids with me. My answer: three hours. It takes only about three hours to do the whole thing (if you don't wait in line at Ollivander's!). Kinda disappointing for $82.

We also went to Dr. Seuss world (part of the same park) and rode some rides there. Now THAT  had just the right amount of fun rides and stuff to do. So thankfully there's that for the same admission price (and lots more, but much not kid-friendly).

So that's my vacation in a rather large nutshell. Back to real life (and cleaning out the car, and picking up the cat, and laundry, and putting things away, and paying bills, etc.) for a while.

M-I-C . . . See Ya Real Soon!

Our bags are packed, we're ready to go (oh sure, I know I'm mixing songs--it's late).

See you in a little while, and wish me luck on my #MommyRoadTrip. It should be interesting, just me and the kids on the road. All. Day. Tomorrow.

TTFN!

Halloween Update

Well, the board has yet to return to common sense and fairness. Though they did change the start time from 5pm to 6pm (I know some of my neighbors complained specifically about the start time being very early).

I haven't heard from the President of the HOA (who lives three doors down from me) in response to my email from yesterday. I wrote him and the rest of the board just a little while ago. Here's my awesome, reasonable, logical, clear, direct, assertive, brilliant letter:

Hey there Board Members!

I wrote yesterday to C. to express my dismay about the decision to change trick-or-treating to Oct 30. I am still awaiting a response.

I would like to know the rationale behind this decision.

My concerns:

In the 12 years we've lived in Paces Club, it's been held on Oct 31. It is with that expectation that we have made our annual plans for the 31st this year and have other plans for the 30th.

I am also concerned that this change has been poorly communicated to the neighborhood and in spite of some people wanting to trick-or-treat on the 30th, many people are going to be unaware of this change and go on the 31st anyway, essentially resulting in two trick-or-treat nights.

This change was apparently only recently decided, as the first I became aware of it was yesterday, only 2.5 weeks away from Halloween. Not enough time for people to plan around.

I am wondering where the authority comes from to make this decision unilaterally for the neighborhood. It's one thing to plan a neighborhood event, such as a Halloween party, for the 30th. It's another thing to force people to change their plans to suit some unidentified reason for changing the date of trick-or-treating. Trick-or-treating is not merely a neighborhood-sponsored event--it's a cultural event and as a culture (that is, in America, as long as I've been around) we celebrate Halloween on the 31st.

If the reason for the change is somehow religious, I would like to point out that not everyone in Paces Club is Christian and it is unfair to change it for that reason.

If the reason for the change is because the 31st falls on a school night, I'd like to remind everyone that we've never ever changed it before when Halloween falls during the week.

If the reason for the change is mere convenience, to take advantage of the choice to have it on a Saturday night, then the change should have been communicated CLEARLY to EVERYONE in the neighborhood (the sign by the pool and the FB page do not suffice, and as of just a few moments ago, this information is not even found on our neighborhood website). It should also have been communicated way before 2.5 weeks from the event.

It is unfair to spring this change on us at the last minute, it will result in two Halloween nights for our neighborhood, and the reasons should be explained to everyone immediately.

I appreciate the work you do as a board, but this change is arbitrary, unfounded, and unfair. It needs to be repealed immediately.

We'll see if I get a response or not. I plan to hector them until I do, so they might as well write me back soon.

Many of my neighbors are not going along with the plan, so we will have at least a few trick-or-treaters on the 31st. And if not, our party guests will have lots of extra candy to take  home!

By the way, this might seem like a little thing to be upset about. And it is. In the grand scheme of things, a trick-or-treat date does not impact my life significantly.

However, I think fighting petty tyrannies is worthwhile sometimes. The main reason--it gives you lots and lots of practice for fighting more insidious tyrannies. And it demonstrates to others (in this case, my "Oh well. What are you gonna do?" neighbors) that you don't need to lie down and take it.

Also, don't mess with my favorite holiday of the year, and our fun awesome tradition.

A Big Thing

This week's Objectivist Round Up is at The Little Things. Don't miss it!

Halloween Falls on October 31st

I know everyone knows this.

As I was leaving my neighborhood this morning, I noticed the billboard by the pool area which read:

Trick Or Treating
Saturday Oct 30

This is not the first time our HOA has attempted to change the date of trick-or-treating when the 31st falls on a Sunday. They attempted this in 1999 too and everyone protested and the decision was reversed. The next time October 31 fell on a Saturday, it was a non-issue. But apparently not this year.

There are only two reasons that could possibly be behind this decision: the change to Saturday makes trick-or-treating fall on a weekend night instead of a school night; or the change to Saturday makes it fall on Saturday and not Sunday for religious reasons (this was the reason given in 1999).

Either way, it's stupid. Nobody changes the date of trick-or-treating when October 31 falls on a Tuesday. People who think that Halloween is too sacrilegious to hold on a Sunday are free to not send their kids out (and, for the sake of consistency in my humble, ought never to send their kids out to celebrate such a pagan holiday no matter which day of the week it occurs).

Our HOA has a Facebook page and there were a few protesting comments already. I left the following:

I also want to protest this. Many families have already made other plans for the night of Saturday the 30th. We have Halloween on school nights when the 31st falls during the week. If any family feels uncomfortable participating because thi...s holiday falls on a Sunday, they are free to make that individual decision for their family.

All this is going to do is create a lot of confusion, as there will no doubt be lots of people who don't get the memo or refuse to participate on the 30th. This will, in effect, result in two Halloween nights for our neighborhood.

I see absolutely no rational reason why this has been changed, let alone decided on behalf of the entire community with very little notice.

We'll be trick-or-treating and handing out treats on the 31st.

 

I am pretty sure they'll change it back. At any rate, THIS house (and I suspect many, many others) will be celebrating on the 31st. 

 

Sheesh.

Handling Lying

In my recent post on parenting principles, C. August asked:

You mentioned the concrete example of learning to lie well in your house, and attribute it to your fear of punishment. Is that basically it? My question, then, is if/when you encounter lying in your children, how do you address it? How would you deal with a 5 year old whose first instinct seems to be fibbing when asked "what happened?" How do you help a child at that age learn the importance of honesty, when he/she seems to default to dishonesty?

My response:

Good question. M is exploring the wonderful world of lying, too.

First, I accept the metaphysically given--this is a normal stage of development, and is not a moral transgression. They are realizing something very important conceptually, and they are trying it out on other people. And it's understandable to want to avoid negative consequences.

I generally call them on the lie as soon as I know it's happened. "Oh I can see with my own eyes what happened [point to evidence] so would you like another chance to say what's true?"

Another thing I've done is to say "I don't think I'm really hearing what's true here." And then shutting up (hard for me to do) and looking at them. I call it the Mommy (Daddy) Jedi Mind Trick. Sometimes it works; sometimes not. I used it most famously in the Incident of the Pink Carpet.

If they've lied and I only find out about it later, well, that's when I'm angry and disappointed. So I will tell them "I'm angry and disappointed to hear this." They need to know how people feel when they are lied to. I tell them that I never lie to them because I wouldn't want them to feel angry and disappointed at me.

If the lying is over time or centered around a particular topic, I am very honest with them about how it has become more difficult for me to trust them in general. I will say "I'm not sure whether to believe you about X." If I say that when they really have said the truth, they get to experience the injustice (as they view it) of having someone disbelieve them when they are being honest!

That last is the most effective. We talk about building trust and breaking trust. Lots of lies can break trust and so it has to be built back up by honesty. When trust is broken, it's hard for the other person to tell a lie from the truth, so they will make mistakes, thinking the truth is a lie. My mistake [in mistaking truthfulness in a particular instance for a lie] is not the result of my error, but theirs. I think Ryan is old enough to comprehend this well. Doubtful about M.

I'm sure they have lied to me about things I haven't figured out yet, but for the most part I think they don't lie nearly as often as one of my siblings did. Of course, Sean is still the wildcard--maybe he'll be our habitual liar.

I have a few other things to say about lying, too, which I didn't address in my original response. (I've written about this on two previous occasions, too.)

My older kids have each gone through what I'd call a "lying phase" where their first response, as C. August wrote, is to lie. Again, I consider this developmentally appropriate. Just as kids test physical limits set by their parents (such as "will she make me climb off the roof of the minivan every time, or just sometimes?"), they test conceptual limits, too. They are learning that they can say something that is untrue, and they are learning about the effects this has on other people's knowledge and emotions (because people don't like being lied to).

Of course, even though it is developmentally appropriate, that doesn't mean I encourage lying or let it go by. I'm just saying that it's important to distinguish lying as part of normal development from lying as a moral transgression.

As with the setting of physical limits, I think it's beneficial to everyone to be consistent in your response to lying. So I will make someone climb off the roof of the minivan every single time (sigh), and I will also make sure that I note a lie when I spot it. And I am honest with them about my feelings about being lied to, and if my trust in the child has been damaged by the lying, I am honest about that, too. (This is the same thing I'd do with an adult who lies to me, too, only I'd also form a negative judgment about their moral character.)

One major reason I don't let lies slide on by without at least mentioning the fact that I am aware I've been lied to is so that if the child is tempted to evade reality, he won't evade with my assistance. Even little "white lies" don't get my assistance in the form of pretending I haven't been lied to. I don't make a big production out of each and every little lie, but I don't let it go either. An example:

"Mom, I brushed my teeth!"

Me: "Really? I noticed your toothbrush is dry, so I don't think what you are saying is true."

I thinking letting it go by sometimes might encourage a child to think "Hey, I got away with it!" which might encourage further testing of this particular limit. And worse, I think letting lies go by might encourage the child to learn to evade.

If there is someone else (Mom) who says the truth out loud, I think it makes it just a bit more difficult to convince yourself that the lie is the truth. And I also think that evasion can become a habit, so anything I can do to throw a stumbling block in the pathway toward that particularly bad habit is something I'm happy to do.

What are some of your strategies for handling lying?

What's New with Me?

Thank you for asking! I think I'll tell you!

We had lots of fun at our various ATLOS events over the weekend, beginning with our Play Group on Friday afternoon. The weather was perfect, even a little warm for October, and with blue skies and changing leaves. Hooray for fall!

On Saturday morning, I completed the two week Fundamentals of CrossFit class at a local gym. The workout for the last class was identical to the workout for the first class: run 200 meters, do 21 squats, 21 push ups, 21 ring rows, then a round of 15 each, then a round of 9 each, then run 200 more meters. What was amazing to me is that even though I'm a super-beginner and waaaay out of shape, I managed to improve my time by 3 whole minutes! The first time I did that in 12:34 and the second time I did it in 9:34!!! I am super excited. Starting this week I'll join the regular classes, and also hooray for friends to do CrossFit stuff with!

Let's see, what else? Our new cleaning routine has been working fairly well since we discussed in our Family Conference. Both older kids are learning to carry in math (I've been using this website for free math worksheets), and there's been lots and lots of reading (independent and reading aloud) going on. Sean is speaking more clearly every day, and I'm certain he'll be enunciating his curse words very soon. In public.

The other big thing we have coming up is my grandmother's 90th birthday celebration in Florida. My grandma, who lives all the way in Riverside, California, decided that the thing she wanted to do for her birthday was visit the Harry Potter theme park at Universal. And so we decided to humor her, dear old thing. (Actually, I believe the entire family's response to this request was something like "HELL YEAH!") And since Hogwarts is located conveniently next to Mickey's house, we'll spend a few days there, too.

It'll be us, my sis and her hubby, my brother and his girlfriend, my parents, my aunt and uncle, and grandma. A mini-family reunion for a worthy cause (and I might try to convince people that we're celebrating MY birthday just a little bit early, too).

Now. Here's where it gets interesting--because he is now Working for Someone Else instead of Working for Himself, Brendan has this thing called "Vacation Time." On one hand, VT is a glorious thing, because for the first time in many years, Brendan has been able to partake of this legendary experience known as "Paid Vacation." On the flip side, you can't take too much of it or the Peopleguys What Employ You will figure you're tired of working there and find someone else to do your work for you.

So he can't come for the whole week, which means, yes--you figured it out!--I will be driving down to Orlando ALL BY MYSELF with the kids (he's flying down mid-week and will drive back with us). Hmmm . . . I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit nervous. Things have chilled out in the very back of the minivan lately between Ryan and Morgan, and we finally acquired a replacement DVD system, so those are positive developments certainly. I think we'll just take it nice and easy, stopping when we need to, having a nice long lunch with an opportunity to stretch our legs a bit. So what if a 7.5-8 hour trek takes 12 hours? As long as we make it there without killing each other, right? I think I'll ask my mom to have wine waiting for me when we arrive. :o)

And yes, if you're playing along at home, we were just there a year ago. We're a Very Disney Family (in addition to being a Very Beatles Family). I thought after last year we'd miss taking Sean when he was 2.5-ish, as we did the other two. 2.5 (ish) is a super fun time to take someone to Disney! But thanks to my grandmother, Seanie will also get to experience Disney at (almost) 2.5. Last year he had no clue what was going on. This year, he's going to have some fun, I think. And it will be the only time my grandmother has seen all three great-grandkids at the same time. Also, it's "Drink Around The World" at EPCOT in October! That's not what it's really called, but that's really what you're supposed to do.

We've been happily busy with other fun things, too. We've got a pumpkin patch trip coming up, and Spooky Town is in place, and the Evite for our Halloween party has been sent out. So far, this fall is shaping up to be JUST AWESOME. How is yours?

It's Johnny's Birthday. . .

I don't think I've ever really taken the time to talk about my deep, abiding love of The Beatles. On the occasion of what would have been John Lennon's 70th birthday, I think I'll finally do just that.

My parents listened to The Beatles. I remember looking at their collection of record albums, staring and staring at the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, trying to figure out who in the world all of those crazy-looking people were. I listened to "Michelle" over and over again trying to learn the French lyrics. I remember asking my mom which one she thought was the cutest (she likes Paul, I think).

When Brendan and I got together, we listened to The Beatles quite a bit. He was in a cover band in college (which was SUPER fun, btw), and music was (and is) a huge part of his life. I remember driving with Brendan down to visit my sister at her college, and listening to "Ticket to Ride," and singing in harmony, over and over.

Over the years, Brendan and I have studied The Beatles together. We listened only to Abbey Road during the summer of 2000 (though I doubt he will remember it that specifically). I remember listening to the second half of the album (not that that particular phrase has much meaning now that CDs are the norm) with Brendan while driving up to the North Georgia mountains to stay in a rental cabin. Every time I hear "She Came in Through the Bathroom Window" I remember us driving up and down winding mountain roads.

We should have had The Beatles at our wedding, but neither of us realized how important they were to become to us, and to the children we'd have.

Anyway, Brendan and I are what you might call serious enthusiasts. We've seen the documentaries, the Anthology, we have everything they did together, and a good smattering of the work they did after The Beatles broke up. We have books and books and posters, and my parents gave Brendan their old Beatles albums in frames for Christmas one year. We know lots of little obscure details about their work, such as which lyric George's mom contributed to the song "Piggies" and which Beatle played the drums on "Back in the USSR" (hint: not Ringo). We delight in picking up their influence in other pop/rock music, and once spent an hour listening to a certain Elvis Costello song repeatedly in order to figure out the exact Beatles song he was drawing from.

When the kids came, "Here Comes the Sun" was the first song each of them ever heard. (And I campaigned hard for Sean to be named "John." There. I said it.) In our nursery, we had the John Lennon baby collection that Yoko authorized shortly before Ryan was born. Yes. It's very true. (And  yes, I'm on first-name terms with Yoko, heh.)

Each kid has had favorite Beatles songs, and those songs will forever be their songs to me. Ryan has "Blackbird Singing" (the lullaby I used to sing) and "Love Me Do" (he once entertained my extended family with a hearty rendition), and "Come Together." His current favorite will surprise no one who knows him: "Revolution."

Morgan is "Martha My Dear" and "Hey Bulldog!" (because, you know, dogs), and now she can sing the lyrics "Billll-eeeee, Sheeeeeaaarrrsssss!" right on key and I'm so proud (bonus: in which song is that lyric found?).

Sean is "Eight Days a Week" as all of my friends here know very well (he sings it often), and "Get Back" ("get back 'rettAHH!"). He also likes "Back in the USSR" as it begins with an airplane sound. Naturally, he prefers the Thomas the Tank Engine original series narrated by Ringo. Oh, and I just remembered--he has christened a certain body part of his "Ringo" (I am not making this up).

Our Music Class teacher, who has known us since Ryan was only a year old, calls us her "Most Beatles Family." Sean brought "Eight Days a Week" in last week to share with the class. It was AWESOME.

We all love The Beatles. I've thought a lot about why I love them so much. Part of it is that I enjoy tracing their musical development over the years--from bubble gum pop to quirky sitar + blues. It's fun to hear them mature right before my very ears. Intellectually, it's very interesting, though I still have yet to listen to Rubber Soul, then Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys (written in as a response to Rubber Soul--"God Only Knows" is an AMAZING song), then Revolver (written in response to Pet Sounds, possibly SPLHCB was influenced, too) all in a row. I need to do that. Soon.

The Beatles are a passion I share with Brendan, something we can talk about for hours at a time.

The songs are fun to sing at the top of my lungs.

But mostly, I love their sense of life, and how the lyrics and music reflected that, even in the weird years. :o)

And of all of them, John is my favorite (George is a close, close second, but he really didn't get great until post-Beatles, probably because he was finally free of the other two). I remember when he was killed, and I've written before about the effect it had on me as a ten year old child. My mom cried, people on television cried, and I cried because for the first time ever, I understood that there were real Bad Guys out there.

But I don't remember him because of his death, though it impacted me profoundly, in ways I would not understand until adulthood. I remember him because he was fun and talented and had a weird sense of humor. I know he was a pacifist hippie--and I don't care. I love him anyway! :o)

Maybe it's just because it's an '0' year--John would have been 70 today. In December, it will be the 30th anniversary of his death. Maybe it's because I'm turning 40 next month (he was 40 when he died) and I think about all I have yet to accomplish, and all of the things John missed.

But I just want to say: Thanks John (and Paul and George and Ringo). I can't find the words to express my admiration and how much I enjoy your music. The Beatles are in my heart and soul and all of the people and places I remember. I know I'll never lose affection.


Don't forget to see Google's tribute to John.

Because I Have Nothing Better To Do With My Time...

Happy Halloween! :o)

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

The Round Up, Yeehaw!

This week's edition of the Objectivist Round Up is at Sacred Ego. Don't miss it!

We're having a very ATLOS couple of days coming up! Today is our bi-weekly play group, tomorrow is our first Fall Family Picnic, and Sunday is the first meeting of The Virtue of Selfishness Study Group. Check our calendar for more events coming soon!

I'd write more about what I've been up to lately (including CrossFit!), but I'm about to start Cleaning Tabata with the kids. Bye for now!

Objectivist Answers

By the way, have you seen the new Objectivist Answers site? It's a new site where anyone can ask a question about Objectivism and Ayn Rand, and Objectivists will answer the questions.

Good answers (and questions) get voted up and notsogood ones get voted down. The more you vote and comment, the more karma* points you earn! It's knowledge + fun + friendly competition! What's not to like?

I've asked and answered only a few questions. This is my most popular answer so far, to the question: "Did Ayn Rand have something against children?"

Though children did not figure prominently in any of her novels, that does not imply that Ayn Rand was hostile toward children or family.

Consider this passage from Atlas Shrugged, referring to two children being raised in the Gulch, by a woman who has chosen to move her family to a place so that she can raise her children as she wants to:

The recaptured sense of her [Dagny's] own childhood kept coming back to her whenever she met the two sons of the young woman who owned the bakery shop. . . . They did not have the look she had seen in the children of the outer world--a look of fear, half- secretive, half-sneering, the look of a child's defense against an adult, the look of a being in the process of discovering that he is hearing lies and of learning to feel hatred. The two boys had the open, joyous, friendly confidence of kittens who do not expect to get hurt, they had an innocently natural, non-boastful sense of their own value and as innocent a trust in any stranger's ability to recognize it, they had the eager curiosity that would venture anywhere with the certainty that life held nothing unworthy of or closed to discovery, and they looked as if, should they encounter malevolence, they would reject it contemptuously, not as dangerous, but as stupid, they would not accept it in bruised resignation as the law of existence.

When I think of how I want to raise my own children, I always think of creating an environment and parenting them in a way so that they can recognize their own value, and have the "open, joyous and friendly confidence of kittens" that these two fictional children described above possess. I think this passage shows Ayn Rand's benevolence toward children and family. Though she did not choose to have children of her own (lots of people don't!) and didn't choose to write books about or for children (lots of authors don't!), I have never viewed her as hostile to children and family.

For more on this subject, see my posts Mythbusting: Ayn Rand, Mommies and Children and More from Ayn Rand about Childhood.

If you like that answer, vote for it (ahem, hint hint)! If you're an Objectivist and want to add your own take on this very common question, go for it! If you are not an Objectivist and want to ask another question, well then, you know what to do. :o) 

Since the site launched, the number of questions and answers has exploded. Very cool. I'd love to answer more questions about parenting and kids, and maybe some on homeschooling and literature and poetry and economics and how to fix bad premises in your head, and oh, lots of topics! And I'm very much enjoying reading (and voting) the questions and answers so far on the site. So interesting and great food for thought.

So stop on by, and don't forget to vote for MEEEEEEEEEEE! :o)


*No, not real karma--it's a joke, see?

QotD: Mary Poppins on Positive Discipline

We watched Mary Poppins today (as you'll know if you follow me on Twitter or are a Facebook friend). My ears pricked up when I heard Mary reading down the children's advertisement for a nanny:

'Item four: you must be kind.'  I am kind, but extremely firm.

Hmmm...where have I heard this before?

Kindness is important in order to show respect for the child. Firmness is important in order to show respect for ourselves and for the needs of the situation. Authoritarian methods usually lack kindness. Permissive methods lack firmness. Kindness and firmness are essential for Positive Discipline.
 --Jane Nelsen

I'm not at all surprised that the greatest nanny every (with rosy cheeks, and no warts!) totally gets it. :o)

OGrownups Monthly Summary

Here's the stats for September:

New members: 10
Total members: 261

Topics :

• Homeschool plans
• Artificial sweeteners during pregnancy
• Sign language
• Policy Paper: The 'Personhood' Movement is Anti-Life
• Patch Club
• Circumcision on the downturn
• NYT on effective study
• Baby Notify website
• School monitoring of kids' nutrition choices
• Over-prescription of antipsychotic drugs for preschool-aged children
• Parental fears versus reality
• Favorite multivitamins
• Robb Wolf on gestational diabetes
• Family Meeting starter kit
• Objectivist Answers is here!
• Family Meetings
• Trouble for charter schools in CO
• Lisa Van Damme video podcast on parenting boys (book recommendation)
• Toddler biting
• ATLOS Play Group
• Levels of Unsupervision
• Music for children
• Toddler napping/quiet time
• The metaphysically given and parenting
• GTD for kids
• Audiobook recommendations (for mom!)
• Trader Principle Progress
• Parenting Principles
• Sexuality and gender roles
• Getting a breastfed baby to take a bottle
• Another tragedy (infant with rickets)
• PD Tool Card: Mirror
• LePort Schools website (designed by an OG member, with a review by another OG member)

Another interesting and productive month for us at OGrownups! Please join us!