Weekend Wrap Up

Did you have a nice weekend? We did--and it was gorgeous and nearly 70 degrees here in Atlanta. FINALLY, normal January weather! :)

We spent Friday afternoon at the Tellus Science Museum, and for the first time ever, Sean was a full participant in the activities. I didn't even bring the stroller at all (it's not a huge museum, but it's big enough). He just walked around with his hands in his little pockets, talking and participating with the other kids. He dug for fossils and panned for gemstones (and got a green one!) and played with sound and light. He liked the buttons on everything and pushed them all. At least twice.

I even got to see part of the planetarium show for the first time! Usually, Kelly takes my older two kids and I wait outside with Sean. But I decided to risk that Sean wouldn't worry about the dark (he hates darkness) and took him to see it this time. Not only was he NOT afraid of the dark, he was thrilled, enthralled, interested . . . and LOUD. He talked talked talked throughout, repeating the narrative like a little parrot: And here are the stars Castor and Pollux. Sean: CASTOR! POLLUX! He learned the names of many stars that day: RIGEL! BETELGEUSE! SIRIUS! POLARIS! Yes, he learned them all and loudly, too. After about 20 minutes, I had to take him out--not for crying as I'd expected, but for being a bit too enthusiastic. I was a little proud, to be honest.

On Saturday morning I went to CrossFit. I've been going three times a week pretty steadily here in January, so I'm going to move up to a monthly membership when my punchcard is up. It will be cheaper. And Brendan's considering trying it, too! I am excited, though it will present childcare challenges. We'll figure something out though.

Saturday afternoon I took Ryan and Morgan to a performance of The Wind in the Willows at a local art center. The actors were all high school kids. Morgan wore a Cinderella dress for the occasion, and insisted on sitting in the first row, way far away from Ryan and me in the top row. She was very independent and proud. And well-behaved (whew!). We went with some of our friends from homeschool co-op, so it was fun to hang with them a bit outside of co-op, too. The performance was enjoyable, though all of us secular homeschoolers (and our kids) were more than a little surprised at the group prayer before the performance and all the God-thanking at the end. The art center lost some potential customers. Ah well. Ryan looked at me all eyebrows a-raised and big eyes when it happened, but hasn't asked me about it. Yet.

On Saturday night, Brendan revived the Wii, which had been out of commission due to inadequate cord-age for some months. We played Beatles Rock Band (natch). Again, Sean surprised us all. During our break from Wii, he has matured. Instead of merely interfering with people playing their instruments and freaking out when someone else wanted a drumstick, he sat and played the drums. And sang. Loudly. (I've got another loud boy, it seems.) He protested a bit during the transition away from the drums (we're just beginning that whole learning how to take turns graciously thing), but then sat contentedly and played a guitar with Brendan for the rest of the show. And sang. Loudly.

Yesterday a bunch of us met Earl for lunch. He was passing through Georgia on his way to the Tennessee House. We'll see him again later this week yay!).

Oh oh oh! And I got ANOTHER birthday present from Kelly! The first one was Shakespeare Tavern last week. But she and Aaron also got me: Beatles Trivial Pursuit! How perfect is that? Can't wait to play  it, and I suspect the kids will be able to pull their own, too.

Then yesterday afternoon--well, it wasn't our best afternoon ever. I ended up yelling at Ryan big time. Sigh. But we made things up and have a new plan for the future. I'm mad at myself because I haven't lost it like that in a long, long time. Like months and months. I feel defeated, but I am also rededicated to, you know, setting a good problem-solving example for the kids. Because someone has to be the grownup and I guess that it's not fair to expect Ryan to be the grownup. Sigh.

Our second OGrownups chat was yesterday afternoon (after the hoopla had died down here, thankfully), and it was so fun and interesting. We had about 15 people I think, talking about making the decision to become a parent (more or less--chats wander a bit, which is to be expected). What I like is that even when people are disagreeing, we are able to be kind and respectful about it. Everyone was very careful to clarify and re-clarify what they were saying--sometimes online communication is tricky and it's easy to mistake someone's tone or write something with an unintended tone--especially when the pace of the chat is flying! I've got lots to think about based on some of the things that were discussed yesterday, which is good because thinking is good. And interesting.

Last night, Kelly and I worked on some podcasting stuff while Brendan and the kids stayed here and played the LEGO Harry Potter Wii game. It looks fun, but I remain confused about the LEGO part of all of these games. Couldn't they do the same game without making everything look like it was built out of LEGO? It's just a little strange.

So. Jam-packed weekend, and a jam-packed week (and month) ahead! Good stuff. Now if the weather will just hold, we'll be in good shape!

Singing the Blues...Blue's Clues!

This is too cute and I just had to share, especially in light of my recent post extolling the virtues of Blue's Clues.

I took this video of Morgan and Sean just a little while ago. They don't really get going until about a minute in and I don't want to be bothered with editing it. I mean, you could skip the introductory cuteness, but why would you want to? :o)





Smart AND delicious!

My Daughter Thinks Well of Herself

The other day, we spent a few hours at the car dealership getting some recall repairs done on the minivan. Evidently, there is no such thing as a loaner minivan, and three car seats do not fit into the back of a standard loaner car, so we were stuck there for a while.

It was fine. Everyone did great--I brought 14,000 things to do for each of us and snacks and drinks. When necessary, I know how to hunker down with small children.

Another little girl was in the playroom with my kids. She was about Ryan's age, and she and Morgan began to play together, drawing pictures and chit-chatting. I sat back and knitted and helped Sean with snacks and just generally observed Morgan and the other girl.

It was fascinating. Morgan, completely unaware of being observed, was friendly and engaging with her new friend. This isn't such a surprise to me, really. She's generally very friendly with other kids, but this is the first I'd seen her interact with a complete stranger in a long while. She was very . . . mature somehow. She drew a picture for the other girl (a dog!), and when the other girl thanked her for it, she replied, "Well, I knew you'd probably like it. I AM an artist, you know."

What might have sounded pretentious coming from the lips of an adult sounded direct and honest coming from Morgan. And cute. :o)

And it occurred to me: Morgan thinks highly of herself.

She is confident and funny and nice and smart. Of course I knew all of this about her anyway, but sometimes she is so quiet and introverted at home that it's harder to see. Out in the world, interacting with a new friend, I was able to see evidence of her self-esteem in a different way.

As a matter of fact, she had ". . . the open, joyous, friendly confidence of kittens who do not expect to get hurt, [she] had an innocently natural, non-boastful sense of [her] own value and as innocent a trust in any stranger's ability to recognize it . . . ." --an adaptation of a sentence or two from Atlas Shrugged. This is exactly how she was that afternoon.

The other girl was impressed with Morgan's reading ability (they'd compared reading and math skills and grade levels while I was in the bathroom apparently). She taught Morgan how to subtract three digit numbers with borrowing (boy do I love it when other kids do my homeschool teaching for me!) and kept saying "Well, you're pretty smart, so I know you can learn this . . . ." And Morgan would return the compliment: "Well, you're pretty smart at math! Wow!"

(As an aside, I can't recall Ryan ever having a similar conversation with another little boy. Probably it's partly personality, but usually when he meets someone he hits it off with, they usually spend their time together running all over the place, shooting Bad Guys.)

Maybe part of the joy of older kids will be getting to watch and observe them in situations that don't directly involve me. That, and seeing how their sense of self worth is put into action.

Anyway, this little glimpse of my child from the outside really just makes me smile. :o)

A "Thinks Highly of Herself" kind of pose, don't you think? 

Why Blue's Clues is my Favorite Children's Show

We have been experiencing a resurgence of Blue's Clues here at the Casey Castle, and it's been wonderful!

Blue's Clues is my favorite kid show ever, and I'm here to tell you why. I first saw it when I was pregnant with Ryan (in 2001). I'd been flipping through tv channels and saw Steve and Blue and I paused, thinking I'm probably going to have to get used to watching kid shows at some point, might as well see what this one is all about.

I was impressed with the show at that time. I liked the pacing of it. I thought the animation was interesting. I especially liked how the host (Steve Burns in this case) spoke to the camera and paused for the children to give a response. I liked how he spoke in a direct, friendly manner, that was neither too childish nor too adultish. Steve talked to the children as if they were actual human beings. It was great!

Then I forgot about it until Ryan was about a year and a half old. Somehow we found it again and he developed a serious obsession with it for a little while. So I got to know the show a bit better. I remained impressed with Steve and his manner of speaking and I also got to know his slightly silly side (he's got my kind of sense of humor I think). I liked the second host Joe (played by Donovan Patton) a little less, but he was still pretty good. A bit too cheerful maybe, but he did a generally good job of filling in Steve Burns's big shoes.

Ryan's interest meant we watched a lot of Blue's Clues and I came to appreciate other aspects of the show beyond the excellence of the hosts. Each show typically follows this format (if you also have Blue's Clues kids at your house, you can skip this part because I'm sure you can run through this in your sleep):

• Something Interesting is happening at Blue and Steve's house.

• Blue (the dog) has something she wants to do or know about the Something Interesting.

• Steve wants to know what Blue is wanting to do or know, and Blue suggests playing Blue's Clues.

• Blue puts a pawprint on three clues and Steve searches for them.

• When Steve finds a clue, he draws a picture of it in his Handy Dandy Notebook.

• Mailbox always delivers a letter which includes a video clip of real kids doing something related to the Something Interesting.

• When all three clues have been found, Steve sits in his Thinking Chair and tries to solve the puzzle.

• When the puzzle is solved, there's singing and dancing and then they go off and do whatever it was that Blue wanted to do with the Something Interesting.

That's the typical format--sometimes it varies, but only if there is a really good reason that adds to the story. This familiar format of Blue's Clues also represented something of a departure for children's shows, and became the new gold standard in television for kids. Angela Santomero, one of the show's creators, said in a 2010 interview:

The interactive format that we started with Blue's Clues enabled us to create a show that asked young viewers to help solve the problems all the way through each episode, giving them enough time to answer our questions.

This was a change from other television shows for children, such as Sesame Street (which came out the year before I was born--I was in the first generation to experience Sesame Street as a child), which had a quicker pace and shorter, self-contained clips of entertainment (that may not be true these days, but I haven't seen it in years). The creators of Blue's Clues set out to tell a longer, coherent story and they did it in a way that made the kids feel involved with the story.

Which I think goes to show that kids, whom some adults love to deride for their "short attention spans," really will pay attention to things that capture their interest. But I digress. Also, this format was obviously (perhaps notoriously) copied by the other big show at Nick, Jr., Dora the Explorer, but that show (in my own humble) is just awful. No need to shout, people! Again, I digress.

Back to Blue's Clues. It's not only how they tell the story. As an Objectivist parent, there are many other fantastic elements of the show that I adore because they either explicitly or implicitly support many values and virtues that I'm generally in favor of. A few examples:

1. I love how Steve looks for clues and uses his senses to find them. There is an element of fantasy of course (you know, what with the dog that can communicate through sing-song barking) but within the context of the show, Steve uses the evidence of his senses to find the clues. Now that's just good epistemology.

2. Thinking is a value. There's a whole chair for Thinking!

3. And a method, too. The process of thinking is described, so the kids can be a part of it. Steve sits in his chair and talks through the clues: "Well, we have a stamp, an envelope, and a mailbox. What does Blue want to do with her drawing? Well, what if we put a stamp on the envelope and we could put it....where? In the mailbox! Right! What if Blue wants to mail her drawing? Is that what Blue wants to do? I think we figured out Blue's Clues!" So the answer isn't just pulled out of thin air, the kid can see the logical way the clues fit together. (Note: this is not true in the later seasons of the show, where for some ridiculous reason the producers decided to have the clues themselves talk through the thinking part. That makes no sense at all.)

4. The theme song: "Thanks for doing your part, you sure are smart, you know with me and you and my dog Blue, we can do anything that we want to do!" Well that's the ending song, but you see my point. The "you can do anything you want to do" theme is strong. And a good one. Especially when it's combined with Thinking. :)

5. The language they use when any character has a conflict (these are fairly rare though) is very "I-language" and sounds like it came right out of How to Talk So Kids will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. Truly, I'm not exaggerating.

Other things I like about the show that are more in the optional value/maybe it's just me realm:

• Fun special guest stars. They don't happen often but when they do, they're usually great.

• Sign language. Marlee Matlin was a guest star on several episodes (she played the town librarian). After that, Steve (and then Joe) used real ASL signs all over the place.

• Mentioned before--Steve has a strange sense of humor that emerges a little bit more over his stint as the host.

• Good songs. I especially like the colors song and the planets song. And the "Don't Give Up" song from Blue's Big Musical Movie.

• And in what I personally believe to be the finest moment in children's television--perhaps ALL television--the "There It Is" song from Blue's Big Musical Movie. Ray Freaking Charles guest starred as "Treble Clef" and helped Steve compose a song. It is, quite simply, the best exposition of the main components of music theory ever created. I am not exaggerating. The fact that it's done in less than 10 minutes and with RAY FREAKING CHARLES only makes it more awesome.

• Perhaps most importantly, it scores low on the Parental Annoyance Scale. The background noise that occurs as a result of this show being on does not jar my nerves or send electricity up my spine. It does not make me stabby, and that is a Good Thing. 

Ryan grew out of his Blue's Clues phase, and Morgan enjoyed it but never really got hooked on it in the same way Ryan did. Ryan used to carry around a Handy Dandy Notebook (he pronounced notebook like this: mock-ew-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-ooooo and I'm not making that up) and look for clues. He had it bad for Blue and Steve and even had a Blue's Clues birthday party when he turned two:

I made two cakes with pawprint clues on them. Also, can you ever believe he was that babyish-looking?

(Yes, Brendan got a Steve shirt for the occasion!)

But somehow or other, Blue faded into the background of our lives. Ryan moved on toward Star Wars and LEGO and Avatar and Home Alone. Morgan became mildly obsessed with The Backyardigans (my second favorite television show for kids, and the possible subject of a future post). We weren't as impressed with some of the changes they made after Joe had been there for a season or two. So we didn't watch it anymore.

Now Sean is the kid walking around the house looking for clues. He is even more obsessed than Ryan ever was, and is certainly more interested in Blue's Clues than he is in Thomas. I suspect his interest in Thomas is more the trains and tracks to play with than the shows anyway.

Sean performs the songs (on key!), and stalks us for clues, and has drawn in every single spiral notebook we have in the house. He shouts at the television when Steve pauses to ask him a question. He pretends he is Blue. It is so much fun and I'd forgotten how much we enjoyed this show in the past. I'm glad we get to experience it one more time.

And possibly we'll be digging up that Steve shirt and pawprint pattern for Sean's next birthday.

Cultivating the Virtues Q&A

Kelly and I noticed something when we recorded our podcasts the other night: our question queue is dwindling! We've answered many questions sent to us by our listeners (thanks!) as either part of the Q&A portion of the program, and we've addressed some of the issues in other portions of the podcast here and there, too.

Now we'd like more questions! So we set up a page on Google Moderator to collect questions for future podcasts. The fun part about this site is that you get to vote on questions that others ask, too! That will help Kelly and me know which questions are most interesting to everyone.

So is there something you've been wondering about Positive Discipline or Objectivism? Is there a specific challenge you are trying to handle with your own kid that you'd like another Mommy Opinion about? Do you think we are really off-base with all of this non-punitive discipline stuff and want to challenge us? Well then, please head over to our question page and ask us! And vote up good questions from others, too.

Thanks so much!

Parenting Thoughts of the Moment

Kelly and I got back to podcasting last night (hope to have a few episodes out very soon) and now I'm thinking about parenting principles. Again. :) I don't have time for a super long post (I know that's a relief), but here are a few general things I'm thinking over.

Parenting principles matter. They matter tremendously, even if 100% of the outcome (the adult that the child will become) is not within the parent's control. Amy Chua has parenting principles, and her parenting tools and style will shape her children for years. I have parenting principles, and I imagine that my parenting tools and style will shape my kids, too (and my failures to live up to them will also affect them). Parenting principles matter, and I think it's so beneficial to be as absolutely clear about them as you can be.

So that's one thought. Here's another:

Punishments and Rewards. We really don't use them at all; we really, really don't. There are no time out chairs or sticker charts at my house. I don't use punishments or rewards on my kids any more than I use them on myself or my husband.

When the result of my actions or decisions occurs, I must cope with it. If I click a link I shouldn't have and it spams my whole email address book (which happened lately), I must do my best to apologize and clean up the mess. If I forget to pay a bill, I must get it paid quickly and deal with the fact that there is a penalty for paying it late. If I have wronged someone, I must make amends. If I cause a mess, I must clean it up. If I make the same mistake a whole bunch of times, I must figure out a new process so I will remember not to make that mistake again.

When my husband doesn't bring his dishes out of the family room or doesn't take the garbage can to the curb, I don't ground him. I don't have a chart on the wall where he can put a smiley face sticker each time he remembers, with a reward for 10 stickers. We talk about the problem and make a plan for handling it.

I make mistakes all the time, every day, and the way I remember to do better is to accept responsibility for my mistake, try to fix it, and try to find ways to improve so that I don't make that mistake again. Same with my husband and all of the other grownups I know.

And that is just what we expect of the kids, only they're little, so they need our help. We help them A.) understand that they need to take responsibility, fix it, etc, and B.) help them implement those steps. No punishment necessary. No reward systems necessary. Lots of reminding people where we keep the paper towels (they tend to forget in the panic of the moment). Lots of honest expression of emotion (from parents and kids). Lots of communication. Lots  of empathy and helping them learn coping skills when they are upset by something. Lots of celebration of accomplishments.

They are learning to take responsibility for mistakes and pride in their accomplishments. No artificial negative or positive reinforcement necessary. Which is good because when I think about punishment and reward systems, they sound like quite a lot of extra work for me, and I'm already really busy.

One more thought, a nicely condensed tweet I sent out a couple weeks ago:

The purpose and goal of parenting is not a well-behaved child. Good behavior is something they learn on the way to self-discipline.

Sometimes this is hard to remember in the moment, when all you really want is for them to stop blowing straw wrappers across the restaurant. But what I want for my children is much larger than the behavior issue of the moment. I'm sure we all want that.

So to sum up my three parenting thoughts for the moment: principles matter; kids will learn how to behave when Mom or Dad helps them handle and accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions/inactions; and behavior matters, but self-discipline matters more in the long run (which is influenced by the parenting principles of their parents....and oh look at that, I've gone cross-eyed!).

:)

Exciting Week Winding Down--And Me, Too!

So I've learned a couple of things about myself this week.

Firstly, when things are Exciting! then I don't have time to write on the blog. :)

Secondly, when the Exciting! things include lots of people--even my favorite people like Brendan and Kelly and the ATLOS group--I get overwhelmed and tired sometimes. This is because, no matter how much I love hanging out with and meeting new people, I really am an introvert. My batteries recharge by spending time alone or with just my family. Many times, I need to go for extended periods of time not talking (hard to do with the kids!). And I also need to just sit and be for the batteries to recharge. You introverts know what I'm talking about.

Thirdly, knitting is an ideal activity while I'm just a-sittin' and a-bein'. I'm getting closer to finishing my current practice piece Ryan's scarf.

I'm feeling more charged up though, and ready to be more productive than simply knitting and doing little things around the house. Tonight is Shakespeare Tavern and I am looking forward to it very much. I expect that my recharging will be all finished by Monday, and then . . . look out!

I haven't been completely idle, even apart from knitting. I am proud to report that I went to CrossFit on Thursday night and this morning. There's a paleo/workout challenge going on and even though I'm not officially signed up, I am going to do it informally. So Thursday night's WOD was the benchmark for the challenge and let's just say it kicked my ass in just a bit more than 17 minutes. I was super happy that Kelly was there to share my misery, too. :)

Ryan and I have been working on his room and making good progress! The fact that he is actually helping AND not even complaining is, well, fulfilling all of my hopes and dreams, to be completely honest.

I did some work on ATLOSCon and general ATLOS stuff, too. And had a huge burst of creativity which is enjoyable and hopefully you'll get to see or hear some of it in the near future. (It's a secret! Can't tell you yet!)

And perhaps, most importantly, Brendan and I finished Season 4 of Dexter last night and I will just say this: Oh. My. GAWD. What a great television show. When we first started it, I had serious serious doubts I'd be able to stomach some of the graphic violence, but I've learned to look away when it gets really gross (which isn't all that often, really). It's just a phenomenal show, and I can't wait to start Season 5 so don't tell me what happens next!

Have a nice rest-of-your-weekend! I'll leave you with something fun from Twelfth Night:

But be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

Also:

I may command where I adore.

And please know this, dear Reader, I adore thee very, very much. :)

Exciting Week

I am at the beginning of an exciting week!

After a nice weekend that included a fair amount of productivity, I spent yesterday working on ATLOS stuff and doing stuff around the house. I have a couple more drawers down here to do, but I didn't work on them. I'm expanding my definition of drawer somewhat and yesterday I worked with Ryan on his room and cleaned out my purse (which I decided is basically a junk drawer that I carry around with me everywhere). So that counts, yes? Ryan and I are seriously decluttering his room in anticipation of he and Brendan building a loft bed in there. Which will be super cool.

Then, last night, I spent an evening with Brendan, Kelly, our friend Garrett and CAKE! Lots of fun. Tonight we have our monthly ATLOS Happy Hour and I'm hoping I'll be awake for it. We got home really late last night.

Tomorrow is homeschool co-op which was canceled last week due to the Icepocalypse. This session, both kids are in chess. Then Ryan has a class called LEGO Simple Machines while Morgan has a break. And Morgan is in Sign Language again after Ryan's class while Ryan has a break. The upshot of it is that we're there a looooong time. For various reasons, this is not a drop off program, which isn't such a problem because there are lots of awesome fun funny knitting moms and kids there and we really enjoy hanging out. Though probably tomorrow I'll be looking for a corner where I can nap. :)

Thursday is Sean's and my Music Class and then we have a light schedule for a couple of days and I'll get to go to CrossFit and cook real food for meals (I'm not Whole30ing, but I am tightening up my diet quite a bit) and continue with the read alouds and piano lessons and trying to find violin lessons and discussing Ryan's latest new business ventures and arranging Peopleguy Tours.

And then on Saturday night, I get my birthday present from Kelly and Aaron! Brendan and I will be joining them at Shakespeare Tavern, which is a dinner theater downtown. We're going to get to see Twelfth Night, which, as you know, is always rockin' good fun. Isn't that a super fun good birthday present? There weren't any good plays going on in November and I don't mind waiting--in fact, I think I might still be celebrating my birthday. #Jenn41in2011 ? :)

So anyway, I'm busy and happy and happy and busy. I like this state of affairs quite a bit, though my introvertedness will definitely need a bit of a break.

Speaking of busy, our call for proposals for our second conference is underway, so please get those in by February 1. I find myself in the not-unheard-of position of having too many ideas for my own good, so I might have to choose between two pretty fun ideas. I strongly encourage you to do the same--produce ideas for one more talk than you can really practically do, and then whittle down. It's fun, I promise! (Oh okay, maybe not for everyone.)

Constant Vigilance!

Here's a nice little food allergy story for you, happened a couple of weeks ago. I was at the grocery store and I was checking out chocolate (as I am wont to do on occasion). Of course I was looking at the Green & Black's selection because they are A.) yummy and B.) excellent about food allergy labeling.

I even wrote about my experience with their company last summer, and the very nice friendly exchange I'd had with someone in their customer service department. The long and short of it was that their labels will carry any cross-contamination information. If there's nothing on the label, then it will be free of the allergen. In my dealings with the company, I felt understood as a food allergy parent and their information gave me confidence that they take food allergies seriously. And so therefore, I trust their labeling practices.

But it is still incumbent upon me (and Ryan) to check the labels on everything we bring into our house. And so on this day a couple of weeks ago, I was reading the back of the Green & Black's Almond bar, a variety that he has safely eaten in the past. I was upset to find the words: "MAY CONTAIN WHEAT, TREE NUTS, AND PEANUTS." Ryan was with me and I showed him the label. We were both standing there saying to each other "Oh man! They must have changed their manufacturing facility for the almond bars. Bummer!"

Just so you know, we avoid any foods with even small possibility of peanut contamination because the allergist and we believe that Ryan has a high risk of a reaction to even very minute amounts of peanut based on his personal history and test results. Some people have a different cross-contamination policy than we do--it's a very individual decision. For us, it's not worth the risk (and Ryan agrees).

So, back to the grocery story. While Ryan and I were bemoaning the change in manufacturing practices, I noticed another display carton of G & B Almond bars a few display cartons down from the one where I'd grabbed the peanut-contaminated almond bar. There was only one bar left in this other display carton. Thinking it would be futile, I pulled that bar off of the shelf and checked the back of it. And what do you know? This second bar had a different label--the label I'd been expecting to see, with no peanut warning!

I tried to take a picture of both bars with my phone. Couldn't get it focus though, but maybe you can at least see that they are the same kind of chocolate bar (almond) and that their labels are different.

The peanut-contaminated bar has a red exclamation point next to it (I added that, of course!) and the allergen statement reads:

CONTAINS ALMOND, MILK, AND SOY INGREDIENTS. MAY CONTAIN WHEAT, TREE NUTS AND PEANUTS.

The non-peanut-contaminated bar has a yellow exclamation point and the allergen statement reads:

MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY THAT HANDLES HAZELNUTS, BRAZIL NUTS, CASHEWS, PISTACHIOS, AND WHEAT.

The listed ingredients are the same for both bars.

So, here's the thing--I still do trust Green & Black's labeling practices. But I am so very very glad I decided to look at that other chocolate bar. I hate that they are making at least some of their almond bars in a facility with peanuts, but I am so happy that they are disclosing that information in a clear way.

I am puzzled at the change from listing out the particular tree nuts to the general term "tree nuts." Saves space on the label? I don't know--tree nuts as such are not an issue for us, but I think if we did have a tree nut issue I'd be happier knowing exactly which ones are present or possibly present.

I'm glad Ryan was with me, too! We had a nice little talk about the labels and the company and how companies make their products and why they might switch ingredients or even factories. We talked about our family's policy regarding label-reading (our policy is: Read Every One), and we reaffirmed that we wanted to continue this type and level of vigilance. We also talked about companies that have labeling practices we trust (like Green & Black's and Hershey's) and companies that have sloppy labeling practices (like Duncan Hines) and how we like to give our business to those more trustworthy companies.

Overall, a good learning experience and a strong reminder to check every single label, every single time.

We decided we were going to be like Mad-Eye Moody: CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Objectivist Round Up #183

Welcome to the January 13, 2011 edition of the Objectivist Round Up. Each weekly round up features the best posts from Objectivist bloggers around the country (and sometimes, the world!).

When I host, I like to start off with a quotation from Ayn Rand. This time, I'm choosing a quotation about creators, people who use their own independent minds and productive actions to create wealth.

Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision. Their goals differed, but they all had this in common: that the step was first, the road new, the vision unborrowed, and the response they received—hatred. The great creators—the thinkers, the artists, the scientists, the inventors—stood alone against the men of their time. Every great new thought was opposed. Every great new invention was denounced. The first motor was considered foolish. The airplane was considered impossible. The power loom was considered vicious. Anesthesia was considered sinful. But the men of unborrowed vision went ahead. They fought, they suffered and they paid. But they won.

“The Soul of an Individualist,” For the New Intellectual, p. 77 (via the online--and free!--Ayn Rand Lexicon)

I see this something of this creative effort in my children every time one of them chooses to make something or do something of value, to bring something they value into existence--whether it's a drawing or a newspaper or a food creation or a ginormous project made out of train tracks and LEGO. Sure, their goals and efforts are modest compared to someone like Thomas Alva Edison (we've just read a biography of Edison here at our homeschool). But the underlying passion and drive come from the same place, I think. It's a super cool thing to see.

And now, on to the round up!


Burgess Laughlin presents BkRev: The Book of Enlightened Masters posted at The Main Event, saying, "Long preceding the threat of aggressive Islam was a slow flood of Asian and North African mysticism into European and US culture. In many variants of Hinduism, Buddhism, and Sufism, this tide of mysticism has quietly permeated Western society. Rawlinson's book details the individuals who have led the movement -- their successes, their failures, and their conflicts. For advocates of reason, this book review outlines his findings."



Joshua John M. Lipana presents Blood on President Aquino's Hands posted at Kuro-Kuro, saying, "A massacre due to the Philippine President's appeasement."



Benjamin Skipper presents Danse Macabre Addendum: More Thoughts on Conventional "Evil" posted at Musing Aloud, saying, "Recently I've come across a musical piece that strongly resonates with me, but I was uncomfortable with my valuing it because of its association with death. I have since identified that I'm actually responding to a strange sense of virtue, and I explain why in this essay. In summary, in modern aesthetic culture it's far too often the case that villains are given admirable traits that are denied to the heroes, such as intelligence and physical strength, so as a result we have a perverted scene where the villains are admirable while the heroes are bland and virtually contemptible."



Ari Armstrong presents Resolve to Expand, Use, and Produce posted at Free Colorado, saying, "Rather than 'reduce, reuse, and recycle,' we should resolve to 'expand, use, and produce' -- if we love life and cherish people. Eventually this must entail space settlement."



Hanah presents Just a Little Critter Collection posted at Charlie's Bookshelf, saying, "This collection of seven classic Little Critter stories is an excellent book for any free-range preschooler."



Paul Hsieh presents WashTimes OpEd: Best Health Care Political Pull Can Buy posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "The Washington Times published my OpEd on how ObamaCare creates a destructive "competition" for political pull in health care."



Paul Hsieh presents Hsieh RCM OpEd: "A Defense of High-Frequency Trading" posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "RealClearMarkets published my OpEd on computerized high-speed trading. (My original title was, "I, For One, Welcome Our New Robotic Trading Overlords!")"



Gene Palmisano presents Leftist Hate Mongering posted at The Metaphysical Lunch, saying, "An objective reminder of conservative values in an irrational world."



Bill Brown presents The Road to Hell posted at The New Clarion, saying, "This entry by Jim May details an excellent identification about the problem with the "but his intentions were good" justification that so many in our culture profess."



Bill Brown presents The Power of Philosophy posted at The New Clarion, saying, "Myrhaf discusses the notion that America's fate hangs in the balance of her philosophy. As he put it, "No, America is not in trouble because of corruption. It’s not people at their worst that are destroying us, but people at what they think is their best.""



John Drake presents The sweet spot? posted at Try Reason!, saying, "How ambitious should you be so that you don't shot too low and fail to reach your potential or shot too high and frustrate yourself with failure? While I don't have an answer, I do look at my own life for clues."



Roderick Fitts presents Advances in Baconian Induction: John Herschel (Part 2 of 3) posted at Inductive Quest, saying, "Here's Part 2, which covers Herschel's points on causation, his rules of induction, the methods of verifying inductions made, and the relationship in science between induction and deduction. Enjoy!"



Morgan Polotan presents An Objectivist’s New Year’s Resolutions | Morgan Polotan's Blog – using reason and logic to explore philosophy, politics, economics and religion posted at Morgan Polotan's Blog.



Kelly Elmore presents Call for Talks for ATLOSCon 2011 posted at Reepicheep's Coracle, saying, "The Atlanta Objectivist Society is accepting proposals for talks to be given at our Memorial Day weekend conference. Passionate laypeople are welcome and beloved, along with famous and fabulous experts. Please spread this announcement around!"



David Baucom presents The Religion of Green posted at Cyrano Rises, saying, "I thought my feature article for a local magazine was worth reposting. It notes Green's parallels with religion, its faith-based dynamics, and explores how altruism/collectivism has migrated from one "God" (traditional religion) to another (Marxist socialism) to another (environmentalism) — concluding that Green's essence is a kind of religious faith in collectivism."



Thomas Hochmann presents FDA: Consume What We Tell You To posted at The Objectivist Voice, saying, "It's not enough that society is held to be wiser or superior to the individual; far more troubling is the assumption that society (or government as its agent) has a legitimate right to forcefully impose that alleged wisdom on individuals and businesses."



Earl Parson presents Tennessee House Update: Kitchen posted at Creatures of Prometheus, saying, "It has been a while since I have blogged (other than on the weekly OList Happy Hour) but I have finally unclogged my blog! I'm happy to present an update on the Tennessee House, with the installation of the kitchen cabinets."



Jenn Casey presents I'm Not a Chinese Mother (Obviously!) posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "This is my response to the recent article in the Wall Street Journal about a very strict authoritarian type of parenting."



Miranda Barzey presents Fun Gesture Posing Strategy posted at Building Atlantis, saying, "A silly but hopefully effective strategy to help me spice up my gesture modeling."

 

We are so happy you stopped by our carnival. Feel free to link to us or otherwise help us promote our efforts.

The next edition will be at Reepicheep's Coracle. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page. More information about how to participate or host our carnival can be found here.

Share
|

Technorati tags:

objectivist round up, blog carnival.

Peopleguy Tours

Ever since I first imagined homeschooling my kids (meaning, when Ryan was still in the womb), I've been thinking about Peopleguy Tours. And now I'm thrilled because we are beginning to be able to add these into our schedule on a semi-regular basis!

For those unfamiliar with the term, a peopleguy is an expert worker. Ryan coined the term before he was two years old, and we've been using it ever since. (And a good smattering of people we know use it, too!) A peopleguy can be male or female and can work in any job whatsoever, at any level (employee to owner). But what distinguishes a peopleguy from just a plain old worker are passion and excellence. A peopleguy loves his work, whether he's a bucket truck peopleguy fixing the electrical wires or a cook at a pizza place. A peopleguy does his work well and takes pride in his work. For more about peopleguys, you can read my article (originally published in Life Learning Magazine) which I reposted in two parts here on my blog.

So anyway, as you might have guessed, Peopleguy Tours involves going to see peopleguys do their work in their natural habitats. Field trips.

We've already had our first official Peopleguy Tour, back in September. When Earl gave a lecture about an architecture project he was working on to the Atlanta Objectivist Society, I brought Ryan. There he sat, with his notebook and pen, listening to Earl describe some of the ideas and processes that went into a home addition he'd been working on. While Earl talked, Ryan listened and drew pictures of houses and blueprints in his notebook.

Then we went to the house a couple of days later and saw how the designs looked in real life. Earl showed Ryan his blueprints and explained them to Ryan:

The rest of our homeschool was there, too (Morgan and Sean) and our friend Livy. The kids rode a horse and picked up dropped nails and screws from the construction site with a magnet and fed the donkeys handfuls grass. It was a fun day.

Since that day, we haven't done any Peopleguy Tours, but going on the house tour with Earl made me realize that I could get started. I'd been a little reluctant to plan very many tours because of having, you know, a two year old. But Sean did great that day, and had a lot of fun. I realized that I could get started on this grand plan of mine. We may have to start modestly, but things will only get easier on the Sean-front as time goes by (well, it might get worse before it gets easier, as he hasn't quite turned evil hit the tantrum stage yet).

So our next official Peopleguy Tour has been arranged (except for the date which I still need to nail down). We are going to take a tour of our favorite pizza place. We know the owners pretty well, and they have had a good amount of success with their franchised stores. It's a very family-friendly restaurant, and the owners, wait staff, and cooks are so nice to all of the kids who go there. Their own kids work there on occasion (they're about Ryan's age, maybe a bit older).

I spoke to one of the owners and he was all for this idea. We'll take a tour of the kitchen and back areas and learn about how they make their food. We'll ask them about how they do other jobs, too, like how to bus tables and keeping the place neat and tidy. We'll ask them lots of questions, and then we'll stay for lunch, to repay their kindness with a little business.

After this tour, I think it might be time to arrange another fire station trip. That was so fun last time. And then, who knows?  I want to explore all different industries and businesses with the kids. I want them to meet the owners and workers and talk to them and maybe even try out some of the real jobs. Trying things out will give them a chance to experience the job directly, and that will help them decide if they enjoy it or not. And it might get them thinking about jobs they can do now (or soon) for money.

Hopefully, another effect of these Peopleguy Tours will be that we make some contacts for the future. It won't be very long before Ryan will want to work. I hate that there are so many restrictions on the work kids can do for money. Not work here around the house, mind you, but in a "real" job. :) At any rate, the contacts we might make over the next several years might prove useful in the future.

So, homeschool or school-school, do you take your kids on Peopleguy Tours, too? If so, what were your best experiences?

ATLOSCon Proposals

Last week we had our first planning meeting for this year's Atlanta Objectivist Society conference, which will be held Memorial Day Weekend. The planning meeting was raucous and productive, as I later described it to someone. By the way, "raucous and productive" is a good way to describe our group in general. :)

If you are interested in giving a talk or leading a discussion group, you have until FEBRUARY 1 to send in a proposal. Details are at Kelly's blog. She's the Queen of ATLOSCon, so be sure to use your manners and bow really, really low.

I'm excited and have a fun idea for a talk or two! How about you? You don't need to be a bona fide expert--just passionate and somewhat knowledgable. You can do it!

OGrownups Chat

I can't remember if I've mentioned our new OGrownups event here on the blog or not. We're going to chat twice a month, one Wednesday evening and one Sunday afternoon each month. 

Here's the announcement I sent to the group:

Our first chat specifically for OGrownups members will be tonight at 9pm Eastern! 

We'll be using the OList Chat Room, which Diana set up and is currently being used for the OList Happy Hour and OList Brunch on Sundays. (Specific information about how to join the chat has been posted to the OGrownups list.)

All members of OGrownups are welcome to join us--and members of other Olists, too, now that I think about it. 

Tonight's topic will be Children's Books and Movies. Let's talk about specific movie and book suggestions . . .

• What are your family's favorite books and movies? 

• Do you/your kids prefer fiction or non-fiction?

• Which ones do you think especially resonate with or reinforce Objectivist virtues and values? 

• Which ones illustrate the polar opposite of Objectivist virtues and values? 

. . . and parenting issues, too.

• How do you talk to your kids about magical or religious elements found in books and movies, such as The Lord of the Rings or the Narnia books by C.S. Lewis? (Or is this a non-issue?) 

• What do you do when your child receives a movie or book as a gift that is antithetical to your values? Have you banned any specific book or series from your house?

• Do you do read-alouds with your kids, and if so, how long did that practice continue (did you stop when they were small, or are you still enjoying this with your older kids and teens)? 

• Do you watch movies with your kids regularly (such as a Family Movie Night that Amy describes)?

These are all just suggestions. The chats I've participated in tend to wander off in all kinds of directions, which is to be expected. 

Please email me if you have any questions or suggestions. If you can't make tomorrow's chat, don't despair! Our second chat will be on Sunday, January 30 at 4pm!

January Challenge Update

Okay, for those of you who are playing along at home, or are just nosy about how I'm doing on my two challenges for January, here's an update.


The Burpee Challenge

Yes, I've been keeping up with the burpees, even on days when I go to CrossFit! Go me! Morgan and Ryan and Brendan have joined me in this challenge. I know that Morgan has kept up, and I think Ryan is mostly caught up. It's interesting--Morgan remembers to do them all on her own, and will drop on the floor and get going right away. Ryan tends to see Morgan or me do them and then joins in. I'm not sure where Brendan is in keeping up, but he's been doing them.

They're starting to take a bit of time to do. I'm confident I'll be able to do 31 on the 31st, but it'll take more than a couple of minutes. By the way, the kids can do them obnoxiously quickly, and with decent form, too. Hmph. :)



The Two Drawers a Day Challenge

I'm two drawers behind, but that's it! This was going to be the more difficult of the two challenges for me to stay on top of, so the fact that I'm only two behind is quite an accomplishment. So far, I've done all of the kitchen drawers and the two in the little mini-bar sorta area.

Clearing out the drawers has yielded many treasures, such as:

• Decks of playing cards with the Boilermaker Special on them

• A set of cocktail napkins that say "One Martini, Two Martini, Three Martini, FLOOR!" (Awesome.)

• About $10 in loose change, which went right into our change jar (to save for a future vacation)

• 9,000 loose wires and plugs and bits of computer (Mr. Weasley's dream come true)

• 3, count 'em, THREE! rolling pins (anyone need a rolling pin?)

• A $75 gift card to Sony that had never been used (I remedied that situation immediately)

Also? I have lots of space-glorious-space in most of the drawers now! I threw so much stuff away--broken things, dried up markers, old membership cards that expired in 2004, etc. I am resisting the urge to completely reorganize until I have a better picture of what we've got a need for, but I've done some reshuffling, too.

For example, we now have a Hair Drawer for hairbrushes and detangling spray and barrettes. We also have a child-accessible First Aid Drawer, where all of the dozen varieties of bandaids now reside within easy reach of any and all who might need one (Morgan has a package of bandaids that look like strips of bacon, how cool is that?).

So today, since I'm snowed in, I'll catch up on my drawers, and I'll do my burpees, too (since CrossFit was closed last night, and I don't think I'll be able to get out of the neighborhood to go tonight).

How are you doing on your challenges (these or others)?

Snowpocalypse 2011

So this is the second day of us being stranded at home. Brendan is working from home (which is something I do every day, now that I think about it) because the roads are covered with a nice layer of ice, some left over from yesterday and some new ice that showed up over night.

In a metro area without sufficient infrastructure to handle lots of snow and ice all at once (we got about 3 inches of snow in 90 minutes on Sunday night), this is a smart--no, the only--decision. It's not the drivers, it's the ice. I maintain that half of Atlanta residents are Chicago natives who know all about driving in this weather, and the other half are Southerners who, Socrates-like, are sensible enough to know that they do not know how to drive in this weather. But I know from first-handed experience that even Chicagoans and Hoosiers and Michiganders (or is it Michiganians? I can never remember) stay home when there's lots of ice. And there aren't even really hills there (there were a few in Michigan as I recall, but Indiana and Illinois are pretty damn flat). We got some hills here in Georgia.

I used to make fun of the city when they only used to spread sand out--years and years ago--and I think that was deserved. About ten years ago somebody (probably a recent emigre from Chicagoland) figured out the chemistry and added salt to the sand mixture and things have been much-improved since then. While I do wish more people would become acquainted (or reacquainted, as the case may be) with the phenomenon known as "black ice," and the technique called "steer into the skid" in general, it's not that bad. I was disappointed, though not surprised, that the post office didn't deliver the mail yesterday. What happened to "rain or sleet or snow or dead of night?" Hmph.

Yesterday was fun fun fun, as a snow fort was built and games were played and football was watched* and hot chocolate and coffee were drunk and of course, the coveted "Daddy" was home for the whole day (though parked in front of his laptop). Today, I suspect, will be slightly less fun, because we're all feeling a bit stir-crazy. It's not that we'd have gone anywhere today anyway, but I hate the feeling that I CAN'T go somewhere.

So now I'd better get some work done, including a future blog post or two. I think we're going to do some reading aloud today (got a blog post idea for that) and I'll spend some time knitting, too. Please send some warm vibes our way...would be nice to escape the neighborhood tomorrow!



*Brendan got some kind of subscription to be able to watch every single NFL game this season, including the playoffs. It's like Hulu, only you pay for it. This very much makes up for the fact that we don't have cable or satellite. Also, he got some kind of magic convertor box thingie to take the tv waves out of the air and make them show up on the Big Wall, so we can now get the free local channels, which will be good because I think one of them is showing the SuperBowl. Thus, we have solved the Great Football Obstacle for good, and removed the one temptation we had to return to cable or satellite. And there was much rejoicing.

I'm Not a Chinese Mother (Obviously!)

By now, lots of people have read the article "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior" in the Wall Street Journal.

Yes, it upset me, and yes, I ranted and raved a bit. :)

Anyone who is familiar with my general views on parenting will not be surprised at how much I disagree with Amy Chua, the author of both the article and a book that will come out soon about her parenting philosophy. Her views are diametrically opposed to mine, not just the strategies she uses for getting her kids to do the things she thinks they need to do, but the fundamental principles.

Somehow, I'm all out of steam for an adequate ranting. We are so diametrically opposed here that it's almost not even worth the energy to get all riled up all over again. I'm feeling more dispassionate and clinical about it, I think in part because I really can't relate to her parenting decisions. The parts that upset me were more because I could relate to her children.

So rather than rant and rave here on the blog (I'm much funnier when I rant in person, btw), I think I'll just point out a few of the fundamental differences and let that be my response.

Here's one. Chua writes:

Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job."

Her statement that academic achievement reflects successful parenting was especially interesting to me. She, like many parents (Western parents, too) equates parenting with an outcome--in this case, academic success. If a child is successful academically, then her parents are successful.

I think parenting is a process (hence the gerund!) rather than an outcome. I believe that children have free will and how they turn out is due in large part to the choices they make. I think children need--no, want--to learn to be independent (in the physical sense and in the virtuous sense) and when they are allowed to make their own choices, they will learn what the virtue of pride is like, and they will begin to create a healthy self-esteem for themselves.

I do agree with Ms. Chua's general assessment that many parents are too focused on giving their child self-esteem, as if healthy self-esteem is something that can be given to you by someone else. A parent provides food and shelter and butt-wiping services; but self-esteem is not something I can possibly give to my children. They must earn their own sense of self-esteem. They must learn to evaluate their own choices and character in accordance with the facts, and independently of their parents.

Even though I don't serve up a side dish of self-esteem when I provide them with a healthy dinner, I do have an effect on their self-evaluations, because they are learning this skill, and look to me and my husband (and other people, too) for clues about how to do this. So I help them do this. I can encourage them to make rational self-evaluations when I talk to them about their achievements or failures. I can be honest with them and help them see what the facts of reality are. I can help them put things in perspective. And I can step back, stay out of it, and allow them to experience their emotions for themselves.

I could also make things harder. I could confuse them and help them learn to falsely inflate their sense of self-esteem when I praise them for being "a good boy" or a "smart girl." I could squash a feeling of pride by stealing their achievement and making it my own. I could discourage them with my words and actions. I could treat them as if they are not loved, and make them believe that they are not worthy of love.

I can influence this self-evaluation, as I influence a great many things in their lives, but at the end of the day I can't give it to them. Because I believe a healthy self-esteem is very, very important, I do my very best to be encouraging rather than discouraging. But those actions do not amount to empty praise or relentless shame.

Which brings me to another area of disagreement: that healthy self-esteem can spring from someone else shaming and punishing and screaming at you.

If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion.

...

Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough. That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it. (And when Chinese kids do excel, there is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the home.)

I'm sure that can be motivating, but I also think it's damaging in so many other ways. I do care about my children's psyches (something Ms. Chua flat out says that Chinese parents don't).

She also believes in the same false dichotomy that many Western parents do: that it's either praise lavishly to provide the child with self-esteem or punish and shame the child to motivate him to do better. Where many parents choose lavish praise, Ms. Chua chooses excoriation, punishment, and shame.

They share the same erroneous premises--that children require external motivation in order to work (aka, children are inherently lazy); that they will tend toward making bad choices if left to their own devices; and that kids can only learn how to behave via external (parent-provided) positive or negative reinforcements even in the presence of natural consequences. I couldn't disagree with these premises more.

Additionally, Ms. Chua's brand of parenting rests on other premises many Westerners might not share, but with which I vehemently disagree--that children owe their parents obedience and are "permanently indebted" to them; that kids shouldn't get to have optional values like friends or drama (she really seems to have something against drama!) or television shows; that children shouldn't get to have desires about anything, really.

What's interesting to me is that the tools she uses--praise and shame--are the same tools many Western parents use. They just apply them to different situations based on their differing values. The concluding paragraph of the article is yet another example of the false dichotomy that it's either praise or shame:

Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

You can encourage kids to pursue their passions and provide a nurturing environment without empty praise. You can prepare your kids for the future by helping them arm themselves with skills and work habits and inner confidence without shame and punishment.

Actually, it's not a false dichotomy at all--I think shaming words/punishing actions and praising words/rewarding actions are really two sides of the same coin. They share the premise that kids will only learn good behavior and form good characters through parent-imposed reinforcement (negative or positive). That's not it at all--there is another way, and I've been doing my very best to describe this approach in theory and practice for a few years now.

Really, I could go on and on about how much and how I disagree with Ms. Chua. But it's time to wrap up.

She has more in common with Western parents than she thinks, but there is one major difference. Ms. Chua's particular approach is extremely second-handed (in addition to the bad premises). Her success as a parent is dependent on how well her children play violin and piano, how well they do in school. Her quest for success as a parent reduces her children to marionettes in her own little drama, and places her in the role of puppeteer. If the puppets put on a great show, then she wins. If they do not, then she loses. (Perhaps she won't let them join the drama club because she doesn't want the competition!)

And what happens when the puppets are free of the puppeteer? How difficult will it be for them to learn how to control their own strings? Or does "permanent indebtedness" mean they will never be free? For their sakes, I sure hope not.

Here's to puppet-free parenting, enjoying the process while accepting that the outcome is not entirely in my control, and giving kids chances to learn to the virtues all the way up to adulthood!

Some Fun Links for Friday

I've got a few fun things to share!

First the Objectivist Round Up at The Little Things. (And don't forget to check out our Facebook page!)

I don't know if you know about this carnival, but if you're interested in paleo at all, don't miss the Paleo Rodeo! It comes out every Friday and is hosted at Modern Paleo.

Speaking of food (I'm hungry, can you tell?), Miranda invented a yummy recipe for pork chops. And I'm enamored with the idea of a product called Boozy Fruit.

I've been really enjoyed listening to the Rationally Selfish webcasts. It's fun to participate in the live chat, too. Check them out!

I'm pleased to announce that I have scheduled two chats for the OGrownups group (both posters and lurkers are welcome to participate in the chats). The first will be on Wednesday, January 12 at 9pm Eastern time. The second chat will be on Sunday, January 30 at 4pm Eastern. We'll be using the OList Chatroom and the chats will last an hour (the password will be sent along to members of OLists, so join today!).

I haven't decided on a topic for the first chat just yet, but the topic of the January 30 chat will be a discussion about making the decision to have kids. What are the kinds of things you should consider? There are many people on the OGrownups list who don't have kids and are in the process of weighing the pros and cons. This will be a most interesting topic for sure. It's funny to me to recall that once upon a time, Brendan and I were dead-set against having kids. :)

Also, I'm really really tempted to call the evening chat the Mommy Needs a Cocktail Happy Hour.

And tonight I'm going to the first planning meeting for ATLOSCON 2011 (it's Memorial Day Weekend, mark your calendar!). Super awesome.

Have a great weekend!

An Oldie but Goodie: Freedom from the Feds

Thanks to Judy at Consent of the Governed, I learned that the issue of federal tax credits for homeschoolers is the topic in the Room for Debate section of the New York Times.

Apparently, according to this debate, one of the priorities for our new Congress is to give tax credits to parents of homeschooled kids. Which, if true, means that the Republicans still haven't got the message yet (they read the Constitution yesterday--did they notice it, though? I have to wonder.).

One of the people weighing in on this argument makes this point:

However, there are serious downsides to giving tax credits for home schooling. Don’t take my word for it: just play with the idea for a moment.

First, as all of us know, you don’t get something for nothing. The government will exact its price. Most likely that will mean greater accountability — perhaps audits, specific standards, tests — you name it. Second comes regulation. Throw all the freedoms that home schooling presumably provides away (and as many home school teachers would say, those freedoms are already being encroached with greater paperwork, syllabi, visits, etc). Forget your curriculum — do it the government way.

Yes, yes, and YES. In fact, this was my position on February 22, 2008, and it is my position again. Rather than dissect the NYT article further (but read the opinions of all for yourself--it's telling how many of them are advocating federal regulation of homeschooling), I'm just going to repost the article I wrote three years ago (I updated the links to the HOPE Tax Credit and Life Learning sections, but the rest is unchanged).

I strongly urge, with the most vehemence and passion I can muster, and I'm not afraid to rant about it some more (fair warning!)--homeschooling families--and everyone, really--to oppose any such proposed legislation, now and in the future. 

Also, it would be nice to voice your opinion to the HSLDA, too. They have generally been behind this legislation in the past (I don't know for sure if they are now, but I strongly suspect they are). They think they speak for all homeschoolers, and represent themselves that way. They have other agendas besides homeschooling. They act more like a Washington lobbying group than an advocacy group. Make sure they know that they do not speak for you on this issue (or other issues, if that applies).

Here's my post from three years ago:

I oppose a federal tax credit for homeschoolers. There. I said it.

This issue is a pretty hot topic among homeschoolers and proponents of both sides of the debate have good points. I have thought long and hard about this issue for quite a while now. My stance may surprise some of you who are familiar with my views on taxes.

Do I oppose the government(s) in our country taking about 35-40% of my money and spending it however they please? Yes.

Do I do what I can to make our annual tax bills the least amount of money possible? Double yes.

Do I take deductions and tax credits when possible in order to lower my tax bills? You betcha.

Do I hate that my government uses some of my money to finance our schools, and doesn't even ask me for permission to use it in that manner? Of course.

Wouldn't I love to keep just a leeetle bit more of my own money to offset the expenses that we undertake in order to home educate our children? Yes. Yes I would.

So why do I oppose a tax credit?

The short answer is that the cost would be too high.

Now you may be wondering: Errr? So I will 'splain.

Right now, we homeschoolers, ALL of us throughout the nation, enjoy a very, very rare thing: freedom from the federal government in this area of our lives. Most of us have hurdles that we must jump through in order to make our state education officials happy--paperwork, reporting, testing, etc. But we are FREE from the Feds.

Free. No hoops, no hurdles. It's only a sliver, but it's there.

Nobody at the Department of Education requires us to submit a form to them at the beginning of each school year, notifying them of our intent to homeschool our own kids.

The DOE does not require homeschooling parents to be college-educated or hold a teaching certificate.

No certified DOE person needs to look at our yearly portfolio, pronouncing judgment on our abilities to and methods by which we educate our children according to our values.

The DOE does not even have an accurate count of how many homeschoolers there are in the nation.

We are outside their purview, outside their reach, outside of their ideas of how we should best educate the little human beings who we chose to bring into the world, who we support financially, emotionally, physically, and intellectually.

Free. We are free.

ANY involvement by the federal government in the area of homeschooling necessarily undermines our freedom--even so-called "good" involvement in the form of financial incentives. Imagine for a moment what you might have to do in order to claim the theoretical Homeschool Tax Credit. Here's an exercise to help you do just that.

• First, go to the Hope Tax Credit Section of the IRS Publications.

• Read it through, substituting the word "Homeschool" for "Hope."

• Realize that every. single. sentence in that section is a condition or limitation on you--a hurdle you must jump through.

• Recall that when the Hope Tax Credit idea was first floated, it was suggested that this would be a simple, one-line process.

• Wonder if "Sports, Games, and Hobbies" will be covered (unlike for Hope). Even though you may consider your child's lemonade stand a valuable educational experience, the government might not.

• Imagine how the IRS might define "Eligible Student" and how they will verify a taxpayer's claims to have an eligible student in the absence of a formal school bureaucracy.

• Understand that WE will not be defining the word "homeschooling" or eligibility requirements. The federal government will be doing that for us, most likely with the assistance of the DOE, since they "help" the IRS with the other education-related credits and deductions.

• Realize that for any kind of tax credit or deduction that you currently take--the mortgage interest tax deduction, for instance--you must provide proof of your eligibility for that tax deduction or credit through a statement from your mortgage company, or zillions of receipts.

It's not just the paperwork--it's the fact that we must then be accountable to some agency in the federal government in order to get that money back. The IRS and the Department of Education work together on the Hope tax credit and the Lifetime Learning tax credit, with the DOE helping to define terms for the IRS.* The IRS already uses DOE-related standards to determine eligibility for education-related claims.**

Consider one of the peculiar complications of a potential Homeschool Tax Credit: the definition of eligibility. Would it be enough to say that you are satisfying the requirements of your state? Currently, if the IRS has a question about someone's Hope credit, they can refer to the institution where the learning took place, because all schools are required to send that information to the IRS as well as send a statement to the student, just like your mortgage deduction.

This would be tricky in a Homeschool Tax Credit scenario, because unlike the current education tax credits where the student and the school are separate entities, the school essentially corroborating the parents' claim, the homeschooling parent is both the "institution" reporting the eligibility and the recipient of the credit. That's the kind of conflict of interest which would require lots and lots of paperwork, I think.

Sure--you'd have your receipts--but would the IRS accept your word that you have an eligible student? Would they require extra reporting by your state? It seems a reasonable conclusion. How would that work in states without reporting requirements? Who would pay for the additional administrative costs of the state reassuring the IRS or the DOE that you are actually in compliance with your state laws and therefore have an eligible student? I'm sure you can figure out the answer to that last question. :o)

Once the Feds get involved, there will necessarily be more reporting requirements, at the very least to our states, so that our ducks will be lined up just so and we can keep more of our money. Once the Feds get involved at any level, in any aspect of homeschooling, defining eligibility and limits and constraints and what happens to those who don't follow the rules, we will lose something that we may never be able to regain: the homeschooling freedom we currently enjoy from the Feds.

This is one small but very important area in which We The Parents are not beholden to the federal government. A very precious, unique opportunity. We are free. We owe the Feds nothing.

If we advocate for tax credits--beneficial as that money would be, as much of a right to that money as we have--we will essentially be inviting the federal government to notice us. To define us. To monitor us. To calculate us. To nickel and dime us. To determine us. This is an invitation that we cannot rescind. It's a way into our lives--a door, if you will. And once it is opened, it will never be closed--not by us and certainly not by them. It will only open wider and wider and our freedom will shrink ever smaller. And we will have invited this.

Yes, I want my money, but not at that price. To paraphrase Ben Franklin, we homeschooling parents have freedom from the federal government--if we can keep it.

Freedom, in a political context, means freedom from government coercion . . . It means freedom from the coercive power of the state—and nothing else.
--Ayn Rand, "Conservatism: An Obituary," Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal, p. 192.

*For example, on the Hope tax credit page, you will find these words (emphasis mine): "The standard for what is half of the normal full-time work load is determined by each eligible educational institution.However, the standard may not be lower than any of those established by the Department of Education under the Higher Education Act of 1965."

**One IRS requirement for taking either the Hope or Lifetime Learning credits is that the learning institution must be "eligible to participate in a student aid program administered by the Department of Education. It includes virtually all accredited public, nonprofit, and proprietary (privately owned profit-making) postsecondary institutions."