Meanwhile...

I'm feeling the need to just say everything I've been doing lately. I had been planning a more thoughtful post (or several) but I just don't have it in me at the moment to write them.

So here they are, in random order, Stuff I've Been Doing And/Or Thinking Recently:

I booked Morgan's 6th birthday party, which will be a Build-A-Bear. We're all looking forward to that very much, though it's still a month away. She's planning to build a dog, naturally. The last time she had a birthday there, I was pregnant with Sean. I think he'll enjoy getting to participate this time.

Kelly and I worked on our SnowCon talk and we're pretty pumped. Hoping our audience enjoys it as much as we think they will. Can't believe that it's less than two weeks away!

Spring has sprung in Georgia (though I don't rule out an extra cold snap or two), and I'm so ready. YAY!

I've really got spring-fever: I even cleaned off and pressure-washed the deck! This is a big thing because it was looking pretty Sanford & Sons back there.

I've also apparently hit the full stride of my mid-life crisis, which is manifesting itself in, as I recently wrote on Twitter and FB, "extreme and unprecedented domesticity." In other words, I planted a garden! So far we've got lettuces, onions (for Ryan), herbs. We're using Kelly's idea of just planting them in the bags of soil. I figure if this garden thing takes off and we do it each year, we'll invest in proper containers or till the yard at that time.

Actual proof I have a garden. And child laborers.

And the kids picked out flowers (which is an actual yearly springtime tradition) for the front yard. Here's a cute picture of Sean watering his flowers (he also pats them and talks to them):

More child labor

Let's see, what else? Oh! I signed up for a Knock Out Cancer 5K in April! It seems like such a strange thing for me to do. I really dislike running, but I've noticed since I've started CrossFit that when I do run I don't feel like I'm going to hyperventilate after about 50 feet. Amazing how that works, huh? I know I'll be lucky to finish in less than 40 minutes (maybe I'm underestimating myself), but I don't care!

Ryan is my training buddy, and we've been doing long-ish run/walk training sessions. Try as I might, I can't convince him to join in the actual race, but I'm glad he agreed to help me train. I'm only practicing running once or twice a week because I'm also doing CrossFit three times a week and I think that's plenty. It's only 3 miles and I've done a few CF workouts that lasted over 30 minutes, so I'm fairly confident I can survive a 5K. :)

I just want to see if I can do this. That's the only reason. Well, the knocking out cancer part is a good, too, because I personally know too many people battling cancer right at the moment.

By the way, I don't think all of this CrossFit/paleo/health-focus is mid-life crisis-related. Instead it's that I'm finally rational and integrated...it only took me this long so it's coinciding with the mid-life crisis thing. :)

But, back to mid-life crisis stuff (you do know I'm kidding about my mid-life crisis, yes?), yesterday I finished this dishcloth:

See the criss-cross pattern? It's On Purpose!

Of course, I made sure to take a picture of the best part of it. The beginning part of it is a bit wobbly and there are a couple of holes. This was the first project I've attempted which involved following a real pattern! I'm pretty pleased with myself, and quite frankly, am wondering at the amount of time I've spent writing this post since I could have been knitting instead. :) Bye for now!

It's Georgie's Birthday

Today is George Harrison's birthday (he would have been 68).

If he were here right now, I'd try to tell him just how much his music (and other creative work) has meant to me over my life:

• How Brendan and I always crank up the volume when "Taxman" comes on. ("Should five percent appear too small/Be thankful I don't take it all")

• How I danced all over the living room to "What is Life" after seeing my very first positive pregnancy test.

• How, after many stressful days trying to get that first baby out of NICU, after days and days in which we listened to no music at all because there could be no music in our lives until we knew he was safe, I finally held him in my arms in our hospital room and Brendan put on "Here Comes the Sun." There was never a more perfect song to capture a moment ever. Anywhere.

• How we made sure that our other two babies heard "Here Comes the Sun" first. That song is the first music our babies ever heard.

• How much fun "Savoy Truffle" is.

• Also, we really love Monty Python and HandMade Films. And we always look for George in Life of Brian. :)

Somehow, George's music is always there in the important moments of our lives. And now that spring is here in Georgia (yes, my daffodils are up!), we've been singing our favorite springtime song quite a bit.

Here comes the sun

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling

It's been a long, cold lonely winter

Little darling

It seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Little darling

The smiles returning to the faces

Little darling

It seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun

Here comes the sun

And I say it's all right

Sun sun sun here it comes

Sun sun sun here it comes

Sun sun sun here it comes

Sun sun sun here it comes

Sun sun sun here it comes

Little darling

I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling

It seems like years since it's been clear

Check out the Concert for George! They're streaming it all day long for free today in honor of George's birthday. It's a tribute concert put on by his friends (Eric Clapton, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, etc.) and was originally aired on November 29, 2002, the first anniversary of George's death. Brendan and I have seen it, and it's pretty good (just skip over all the sitar music!).

UPDATE: Also, if you're curious about my choice of title for this post (and this other post, too), it was deliberate and George-related. See All Things Must Pass. 

Cultivating the Virtues Mini-Podcast: SnowCon Preview

As you may know, Kelly and I will be giving a talk at Front Range Objectivism's SnowCon on March 12. We recorded a mini-podcast (since we have a lot to learn about webcasting) as a preview of our talk "Effective Communication: How Objectivists can Use Positive Discipline Tools in their Adult Relationships." We will be giving this talk at ATLOSCon, too.

Give it a listen! And we hope to see you at SnowCon!

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And More Georgia Education Bills

Sheesh. Okay, fair warning--this post is definitely on the Rant Continuum.

The bills I wrote about yesterday might not affect homeschoolers, but here are two bills that will affect every single child in the state of Georgia.

Senate Bill 43 seeks to extend the period of compulsory attendance by two full years! Currently the compulsory attendance ages are from ages 6 to 16. SB43 would add a year to both ends, making the compulsory attendance ages 5 to 17.  In related news, Senate Bill 49 seeks to change the ages of compulsory attendance to ages 6 to 16 1/2 years.

According to the blog SWGA Politics, Democrats are behind 43 and Republicans are behind 49. Jeff also makes a good point about the Republicans not being much different than Democrats--both parties want to control how many years children need to be compelled to attend school. The difference is in degree, not kind.

These people want six months to two more years of our children's lives. 

What for? Months and years of more useless testing? Years of not being able to be outside in the sunshine? More time for a butt to be in a seat? (Whether or not the mind is turned on is ALWAYS dependent on the free will of the child, so you can't possibly guarantee that any more actual learning will happen.) More money? (Ah, yes, that's something there.)

And by what right?

Parents and children are the only people who properly have any say about how a child's education is handled. I did not pop out these kids in order so that I--and they--may be bossed by the state of Georgia.

I can't decide what's worse--taking them younger or making them wait when they're older and could be doing something useful and productive for their own lives like getting a job and earning money.

Forcing parents to put their 5 year olds in Kindergarten means that some kids will be placed in a full-day learning environment before they are ready. There is no way Ryan was emotionally and developmentally ready for Kindergarten at the age of five (you homeschool co-op friends of mine remember!). Children of parents who don't want to or can't homeschool will be in trouble. And probably cause trouble for teachers, too.

Forcing teenagers to have their butts in a classroom seat prevents them from moving forward with their lives. I can't imagine that the kinds of kids who will be held in school against their will until they're 16.5 or 17 will be sitting there thanking the Georgia legislators for that extra year of learning time.

I'll be writing to my state representatives to urge them to vote against extending the compulsory attendance sentence for the kids in Georgia. After all, think of the poor children!

Education Bills in the Georgia State Legislature

There are a couple of bills in the Georgia legislature that caught my attention and because I just know you're dying to know what I think about them, I'll tell you!

The two I'm going to address now are Senate Bills 55 and 34. These two bills are related. They seek to allow students living in a school district who are not enrolled in the school to join extracurricular activities at public schools.

SB 34 is specific to charter and virtual schooled students, and I really don't have much of an opinion about that. On one hand, students enrolled in GA charter and virtual schools are considered government schooled students and as such, somebody (school districts? charter schools? dunno) gets money because they count. If they count, then probably they ought to be able to play sports at government schools. On the other hand, if more kids playing extracurricular activities means property taxes will rise and/or a SPLOST will be more likely to carry, then nope! I don't really know the particulars about how charters and virtuals work, and as I'm morally opposed to the government running schools in any way shape or form (my money or not), I believe this entire issue isn't something that should be before the legislature in the first place.

SB 55 is pretty much the same thing--and my layman's reading of the bill reveals that it's limited to public schooled students:

27 (1) 'Nonenrolled public school student' means a public school student in grades 

28 kindergarten through 12 who resides within the attendance zone of a school but who is 

29 not enrolled in such school.

Okay, my kids are not public school students who are not enrolled in their local school. They are home study students in compliance with the home study laws of Georgia. And there's nothing else in the bill about private schooled or home study students. So when I saw this bill I didn't think twice about it.

Until I saw two blog posts on the AJC education blog called Get Schooled. Maureen Downey, the author of the blog, talked to some of the people involved in this legislation and it is somewhat alarming:

But when I called Senate sponsor Renee Unterman’s office for clarification of what seems duplicate intent to me, I was told the bill applies to “any student residing that district.” I asked if that meant homeschooled or private school students, and Unterman’s aide said that it did. That doesn’t sound right to me based on the language of the bill, so I asked the aide to doublecheck and get back to me. When I get the clarification, I will post. 

From "Second bill opens public school clubs, teams to outside students" (my emphasis)

Later she asked one of the sponsors of the bill who confirmed that his intention at least is to open up this legislation for private and home study students:

Were the bills designed to let any children, whether enrolled in private, charter, magnet or homeschooled, to join after-school clubs and teams at the local public school?

As far as SB 55,  Sen. Shafer said that he signed on because the bill “would allow home and private school kids to participate in public school extracurricular activities. Extracurricular activities are subsidized by the taxpayers in that they make use of school buildings, practice fields, stadiums, etc.  Obviously, if there are dues or fees associated with the extracurricular activities, the home or private school child should have to pay them the same as a public school student.

“Coaches are sometimes paid extra, but you are right that many school teachers volunteer their time to sponsor or advise clubs.  I am not sure why the volunteer teachers would not welcome other students from the community the school was set up to serve.  I am convinced that the students from various educational backgrounds benefit from the interaction with each other, and I am little surprised you do not see that as a major benefit.  It may even be an evangelical opportunity to bring the home and private school children back into the public schools.”

From "Value in non students joining public school teams, clubs?" (italics in original, bold is my emphasis)

Not being a legislator or legal mind of any sort, I don't quite see how you get from "public school student not enrolled" to "home and private schools." I guess I don't really care, though. It's enough for me to know that at least one of the sponsors of this bill is thinking about us.

Which brings me to my point: I will absolutely and always oppose any bill that is designed to create opportunities for homeschooled students in the public schools. Why? The short answer is because I don't trust them for a second.

Any mingling of homeschooled kids and government schools will necessarily bring them under the purview of the government. Once in the system, the government will want to keep them in the system. Even Shafer above admits this when he says:

"It may even be an evangelical opportunity to bring the home and private school children back into the public schools.”

He thinks that the government schools want us back. Maybe they do.

Part of the reason I homeschool is so that my kids are OUT of the government school system. Even the minimal reporting we must do in Georgia is bad enough, but beyond saying that we're homeschooling and completing "attendance" reports, we are not subject to the school district rules or textbooks or curriculum or calendar or other nonsensical things.

Ah, but we're taxpayers, right? Shouldn't we try to at least get something for our money? I hear this a lot, too. Even my new friend Senator Shafer mentions it:

"Extracurricular activities are subsidized by the taxpayers in that they make use of school buildings, practice fields, stadiums, etc."

I think that viewing the taxpayer-government school relationship as a normal free business relationship is a huge mistake, and obfuscates the fact that this money is forcibly taken from us and redistributed according to the desires of others (government officials).

When you enter into a free business transaction, you are exchanging money for the product or service. You do get something for your money, and you have every right to expect it. If you don't like the quality or type of product/service, you get to choose another business to work with. You even get to take legal action against a business if you don't get the something for your money.

The government doesn't work that way. If there were no government schools, you would be free to pay for whatever school you liked--and if the school didn't deliver on its service obligations, you could pull your kids out and go to another school. Parents of kids in government school don't get to do that. There's no free transaction here--your money is taken and your kids go where the government officials tell them.

There's no exchange of services for money, for if there were, what service did I get in exchange for the money taken from me way back in the days before I had kids? I got no service at all, nor did I have the right to demand anything in return. Neither do any of my childless neighbors. Just because I went and had three kids doesn't now give me the right to demand anything of the government--and even if I did, I sincerely doubt it could provide the level of service I'd want, so I still wouldn't be getting enough in exchange for my money.

The point is this--as taxpayers we have no choice or say in this at all. If we pretend that we do by buying into this idea of "well, we might as well get something for our money" then we are only helping the government school officials. Let's not make their jobs any easier. Let's not help them pretend that they are providing us with a service in the same way the dry cleaner or the auto mechanic does. Let's not give them any sanction whatsoever.

Sadly, opposing these bills on moral grounds will probably do nothing to convince our legislators of their (perhaps well-intended) errors. Luckily, with counties and the state facing falling property tax "revenues" (I use that term loosely) due to the housing bust, overcrowding of classrooms, testing scandals, etc. there is one compelling argument that the legislators will listen to: supposedly there is not enough money already for the kids in government schools--why add in more kids? (I intend to make a moral case for opposing the bill, but I will certainly mention the budget crunch, too.)

The other good thing is that government school parents are probably not going to be thrilled about this either, so I think the bill will be fought from both sides.

If you live in Georgia, please take a couple of minutes to let your state representatives (especially your senator) know what you think about these bills. If you're not in Georgia, why not take a few minutes to see what YOUR state legislators are up to?

Food Allergies? Try Enjoy Life!

A few weeks ago, the peopleguys at Enjoy Life Foods asked me if we wanted to try some of their products in exchange for an honest opinion about them here on the blog.

I thought about this for about two seconds and then said Hooray! Just to be certain I was doing the right thing I asked Ryan and Morgan what they thought about the idea. Unsurprisingly, they readily agreed to be part of the Taste Test Team.

Not too long after that, we received three boxes of Enjoy Life cookies! Woohoo!

Now, you maybe be aware that I'm following a paleo sort of eating plan, so you might be wondering what I was doing eating cookies. I completely understand your concerns and queries and offer the two following points as my only defense: A.) Paleo is not a religion (whew!) and B.) This little experiment was in the interest of SCIENCE, people!

Oh, and I just thought of a third point: COOKIES!

I am a big fan of capitalism for many reasons, not the least of which is that when people are free to create companies and products, there will be many, many choices for all consumers. And this is especially important for families like ours. One of the most difficult and stressful and sometimes downright depressing parts of life with someone who has a life-threatening food allergy is finding food manufacturing companies that you can trust completely to understand about food allergies and offer products that are safe to have in the house. I'm super excited that companies like Enjoy Life Foods have popped up to develop yummy products to fill this niche.

Okay, on to the taste test. My three volunteers (Ryan, Morgan, and Sean) and I tasted the Soft Baked Double Chocolate Brownie Cookies, the Soft Baked Snickerdoodle Cookies, and the Soft Baked Lively Lemon Cookies. Again. All. For. Science.

We tasted the Brownies on the first day. Ryan remarked that, and I am not making this up, they had a "pleasant cinnamon aftertaste." Which is surprising because cinnamon is not listed among the ingredients. Morgan's favorite part was the yummy chocolate chips inside the cookies. Sean didn't have much to say as he was stuffing as many into his face as possible. I managed to limit myself to only two, which was really hard to do. :)

In short, they were GOOD. I've actually eaten these before--I brought them to the ATLOS Fall Family Picnic last October because in addition to Ryan (peanut), there were two other food-allergic people in attendance (egg and dairy). It was a potluck picnic, so I figured that many or most items would be unsafe for one or more of the food-allergic people. I brought the Enjoy Life Brownies so that there would be at least one yummy dessert that the food allergy people wouldn't have to worry about. And they ALL really enjoyed the brownies!

The next day we tried the Snickerdoodles and they were also a big hit! These do have cinnamon in them, which explains why we all tasted cinnamon this time. :) They were chewy and cake-like--actually all of the Soft Baked cookies were cake-like in consistency. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!) All three kids were too busy hoovering the cookies down to make any specific remarks about them, but the rapidity with which they disappeared should tell you something about how delicious they were.

On the final day of our taste test, we tried the Lively Lemon cookies. Of the three, these were my kids' least favorite, but they still managed to choke them down. :) There are little pieces of lemony goodness inside and the taste reminded me of the lemon bars that always seemed to show up somehow at family and school picnics when I was a kid. Definitely a worthy choice for people who are not big fans of chocolate or cinnamon.

Like I said, I think it's SO AWESOME that many companies exist now to cater to the needs and desires of people with food allergies. These cookies were truly delicious, and nobody was thinking "Yeah, these are pretty good for food allergy cookies." Nope. These are pretty darn tasty. Period.

Anyway, thanks Enjoy Life for making such yummy treats and for asking me to review them! Please know that everything in this post is my honest true opinion, and that the taste-testing happened pretty much as I described.

ATLOSCon Schedule

I'm happy to announce that the schedule of classes for ATLOSCon is up on our website! Registration is not open yet, but we thought everyone would like to know what their options are--and there are MANY. It's going to be a FUN weekend. :)

And we think that we've succeeded in our goal to keep the conference extremely affordable--only $50 for two full days of classes!

Speaking of ATLOSCon classes, Kelly's and my webcast last night was, well, not our best performance ever. We were off our game, partly because we didn't expect webcasting to be so different from podcasting. But we should have--when we podcast, we stop and start and delete stuff all the time, which wasn't possible with a live webcast! Anyway, we're chalking this up to a Learning Experience and will release a podcast soon about the talk we'll give at SNOWCON and also at ATLOSCon. Don't worry--we're really not quite that spazzy when we lead these classes, So if you saw the live webcast, please don't hold it against us! :o)

Anyway, check out the ATLOSCon schedule and if you haven't filled out the interest form, please take a few minutes to do so. It will help us get all of our little ducks in order. Thanks!

Webcast TONIGHT!

In case you hadn't heard, Kelly and I are going to be speaking at SnowCon in Denver next month! Tonight at 8 pm Eastern, we'll be offering a taste of what we'll be talking about on a live webcast with Diana!

Here's the announcement from Diana:

SnowCon 2011: Free Webcast Preview

Please join us for a free webcast preview of Jenn Casey and Kelly Elmore's keynote FROST Supper Talk on "Effective Communication: How Objectivists Can Use Positive Discipline Tools in Their Adult Relationships."

The webcast begins on Wednesday, February 16th at 5 pm PT / 6 pm MT / 7 pm CT / 8 pm ET.

Here's the abstract of their lecture:

In our talk, we will present a set of parenting principles called "Positive Discipline" that is compatible with teaching our children to use the Objectivist virtues while behaving virtuously ourselves. Positive Discipline techniques include respectful communication, problem-solving skills, and limit-setting that is both kind and firm. Positive Discipline techniques do not include reward systems, praise, punishments, behavior modification techniques, emotional manipulation, shaming, or logical consequences.

The focus of the talk will be on the communication and problem-solving tools used in Positive Discipline, tools that are essential not only to parenting but to all healthy relationships, at work, at home, with friends, with romantic partners, and on the phone with the customer service representative at your credit card company. The talk will be dynamic and interactive, and you will walk out with at least one new skill to try the next time you are in a difficult situation with your spouse, your coworker, or your child.

So we'll see you (or more accurately, you'll see us) tonight on the webcast site! We're very excited!

And by the way, registration is now open for SnowCon. Sign up by February 24 for a discount.

Toddler Things

Can I just say how much I'm enjoying my very last toddler? I'm a big fan of toddlerhood in general, and it's my favorite stage (so far). It's at least the stage in which I'm the most confident and able to handle things the way I'd like to.


Fears

Sean's at the age when he is conceptual enough to be afraid of things. Which is, you know, good and bad. Yay for conceptual development! Boo for Things That Go Bump in the Night!

Lately, he's been afraid of robots, Zhu Zhus (robot hamsters), the smoke alarm, a spooky game on the Nick Jr website (which I talked about in our recent podcast), and loud sudden noises of all kinds. There are probably a few things I'm forgetting. Looking over this list, I notice a commonality: all of these things move or make sounds for no apparent reason. Huh.

Brendan has hit on a particularly brilliant way of helping Sean cope with his fears. He and I have always believed that the best strategy to dealing with and even overcoming a fear is to focus on related aspects that are under your control. You might still be afraid of spiders, but which is scarier--an encounter with a spider when you're in the kitchen and can trap it with an upside down glass (I have a friend who used to do this), or when you're standing in a corner of the house with no weapons or traps around of any kind? Aren't fears magnified when you also feel helpless in the face of them?

So our first tactic is to help the kid find some way to have some kind of control over the situation. With the scary computer game, I gave him the tool of "You have control over whether you choose this game. If it scares you, don't choose it. If you don't choose it, it can't scare you."

With the smoke alarm and robots and Zhu Zhus, Brendan thought of this: have Sean "help" fix them. So he'd take out the batteries and then show Sean that they couldn't turn on. That gave Sean a chance to look at them closely and touch them even without the added worry that they might suddenly move or emit a loud piercing noise. Brendan was very patient with this and gave Sean lots of time to come and see the objects.

Then Brendan explained that the object was wasn't working because the batteries were out, and we really wanted it to be working (so Morgan and Ryan could have their toys or because the smoke alarm helps protect our family). He asked Sean for his help in fixing the objects so that they'd work again. He had Sean hold the batteries and put them inside and even help screw on the lid to the battery compartment. Sean always likes to help do such things and even though he was still hesitant, he participated. Then Brendan would turn on the object and talk to Sean about it.

The next thing we knew, Sean is fighting with his siblings over playing with the robots and Zhu Zhus! And this morning, Sean said as we came down the stairs "Hi, Smoke Alarm!" and gave a little wave. I must note that Sean "recovered" from his fears more quickly than either of the others ever did, and I think this is partly due to his personality (stuff just blows over with him). So this is no guarantee.

This is a great strategy because it helps Sean feel supported and loved while we give him tools that he can use over and over again to learn how to cope with his fears independently. He is learning that if he investigates the source of his fears, he might find something interesting about it. He might learn more about how or why it works and as his knowledge of the Scary Thing grows, the mystery diminishes.


Introduction to Communication and Negotiation

Sean is developmentally and cognitively capable of learning problem-solving skills. His communication skills are more than adequate, too. One of the main things I've been doing with him lately is helping him learn the problem-solving lingo and walking him through the steps.

He is starting to tattle, for example. Did it just a little while ago. I can't expect him to play a real game of Tattling Tennis with me, though. He doesn't know the rules. Yet. Because he is young and relatively new at all this, I am more like the tennis coach who stands behind you and guides your hand and racket (does that really happen? I don't play tennis so I have no idea.).

So here's what happened. Morgan was playing his guitar. He wanted a turn and was screaming at her "NOOOO MORGAN!!!! MINE! MINE! NOOOOOO!" (Those of you who have owned or currently own a Toddler Model will recognize this universal speech pattern.)

Before I had a chance to intervene and help him ask in a better way, he came running up to me: "Morgan has my guitar! I want guitar! Morgan! AAAAAGGGGHHHH!" And then ran back to her and tried to smack the crap out of her.

I was right behind him (experienced mommy that I am) and stopped the hitting before it happened. I said to him "No! Don't hit Morgan. That will hurt her." And he started crying really hard.

I said to him "It sounds like you want a turn with your guitar, is that right?" Nodding sobs. "You need to tell that to Morgan. You can say 'Morgan, I'd like my guitar back, please.' and then she will know what you want. Why don't you try that?" 

So he sobbed out "Morgan want guitar back. Please." And she gave it back.

Yes, this is time-consuming. And repetitive. And repetitive. But this will pay off in spades in the next year or so.

Teaching him to talk to Morgan directly about his problem is the first step toward solving his own problems independently. If I had stepped in and said the words for him, he'd learn that my job is to get his stuff back from Morgan and/or handle his problem. And I do NOT want him to learn that. Instead, giving him the tools (words) he can use and having him try them out will arm him for future similar encounters. Standing there with him while he practices those tools helps him feel understood and supported.

You might wonder why I didn't address Morgan directly, but instead, handled all this with Sean right in front of her. I want her to see that Sean's concern is valid and that I support his asking for his property back. It's easy sometimes to look at a younger sibling as a non-human "pet" or even a human "servant" (as the oldest in my family, I know this to be very true!). Supporting Sean's property rights helps her to know that he is a full member of our family who has rights that need to be respected.

Also, I wanted her to see that I stopped him from hurting her and helped him find a better way to ask for it back, which demonstrates to her that I care about and respect her, too, and her right not to be hit. It gave her practice, too, in working out problems with him. She gave the guitar back, and managed her end of the negotiation independently from me.

That's good enough usually. However, after the interaction was finished, I took the opportunity to remind her that she can help Sean know better words to say, and that even though he started off by screaming at her, if she really knew what he wanted (and I'm sure she did!) that she should have returned the guitar immediately, perhaps saying "Here's your guitar Sean! Next time just say 'Can I have my guitar back, please?' "


My toddler guy keeps me busy, and part of me is a little tired of the repetitiveness (because I've also done this twice before), but for the most part it's fun. And I know from experience this time around that the work I put into this now will free up lots more time for me in the not-so-distant future. So that keeps me motivated, too. :)

Emerging from the Book Fog

Well, I haven't quite finished Mockingjay just yet, but I'm at the very end. The whole series is quite enjoyable, but I'm slowing down though, both to prolong this first-time-around enjoyment of it and because I'm a bit nervous about how it will end.

It might end well; it might not. I remember this feeling the first time I read Atlas Shrugged--I was convinced it would all end badly, that Rand wouldn't be able to finish it off the way she started. Thankfully I was wrong. :)

By the way, the whole world has seen the trailer by now. I thought it was meh-to-okay. I was not blown away by the trailer, but that's fine, really. Sometimes I'm blown away by a trailer and then the movie is a big letdown, and my life would have been better had I just seen the trailer. I'm not even all that worried about the movie the way many people seem to be. The movie will not be as good as the book. That is almost a universal truth!

I'm hardly ever disappointed in a Harry Potter movie, for example, because they are never as good as the books. I don't judge their value based on how true they are to the exact events of the books. I judge them according to how true they are to the themes and general plot progression (it's really okay if they make some changes to the plot as long as the movie plot furthers the theme in a logical way). So I won't know about AS until I see it. I'm skeptical that the themes will be treated the way I'd treat them, but that's what people get for not asking my opinion about such things.

So I'll just have to see. I'm going into it the same way I went into the HP or LOTR or Narnia movies.

And no matter how good or awful the movie turns out to be, it will only generate more interest/buzz/publicity for our local group and the ARI, too. I can only see that as a Good Thing. If the movie sucks, then ATLOS can promote our events with--Wow, did you see that awful adaptation of Atlas Shrugged? Well we (or some of us) thought it was awful, too! Come and meet us and we'll talk. :) I was no marketing major in grad school, but I believe this falls under "all publicity is good publicity" and I am utterly confident that we can exploit this to meet our own ends and grow our ranks.

Oh yeah, the Book Fog. I got a little sidetracked by this AS thing, which I hadn't even planned on writing about. But I HAD planned on writing about ATLOS's first Atlas Shrugged Reading Group which launched on Sunday! We've got an awesome moderator and the first discussion was fun and enjoyable! We're using the format designed by Diana and outlined here, and so thanks to her for her work on that project.

My in-laws were here this weekend and the weather was just gorgeous, the way the weather is supposed to be in February (finally!). We went hiking and met Brendan for lunch at PDK Airport and went to the Chattahoochee Nature Center (more hiking!) and everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) helped put Ryan's new loft bed together. A very enjoyable weekend marred only by some of us coming down with a cold yesterday.

So now that my Book Fog is (almost) gone and our visitors are gone, I'm getting back to work on my many projects. I have a ton of things I'd like to write about here on the blog, so I hope to churn out something new and interesting soon. How was your weekend?

A Day in the Life

Here's a look at a day here in our happy homeschool. I can't say it's a really typical day--each day is quite different. But it's typical in the sense of "yup, our family is really that weird." Also, we don't generally do so much cleaning on a regular day, but this was for a special cause (in-laws!).

• Get out of bed around 8:45 and come downstairs with Sean to find Morgan on the computer and Ryan setting out armies. Ryan's already eaten. Morgan gets herself a snack when I get something for Sean.

• Check email, etc. and answer a few things.

• Go over the day's plans with the kids and we all talk about and decide on our day's work. The main thing on the agenda is cleaning up the house because Nonnie and Grandpa Gary are coming for the weekend, laundry, making tomato bisque, maybe going out to lunch.

• Ryan makes himself some decaf coffee with cream, and Morgan makes me some coffee. (WIN!)

• I drink coffee while checking FB and Twitter and OmniFocus.

• While I'm doing this, Ryan plays with his remote control robots and Morgan is on my iPhone and Sean is ... don't exactly know. Wandering around somewhere. Sometimes I forget to keep track of what the kids are doing and where they are.

• Break up a fight over my iPhone (Sean was hitting Morgan) and get Sean working on something else.

• After a while, Ryan gives Sean a turn with the remote control robot, saying to me "I know Sean is afraid of the robots, and if he can play with them, maybe he won't be so afraid." This is A.) Brilliant, and B.) actually works!

• Morgan helps clean up the kitchen and we play Little House on the Prairie.

• While Morgan and I clean the kitchen, Ryan takes Sean upstairs to play "school." Ryan teaches Sean all about armies and tanks and army vehicles and generally bosses the crap out of him. They play some counting games, too. This was all Ryan's idea, but I plan to ask him to play "school" with Sean in the future.

• We all have a brief discussion about naming our homeschool after Thomas Edison and/or George Washington. Two of our favorite homeschoolers.

• Morgan cleans off the top of the kitchen table some more and wipes down the counters and then it's time for tomato bisque!

• Ryan puts Morgan in charge of Sean (again, I had nothing to do with this at all) and gives her an agenda for "school." Morgan heads upstairs to be the teacher and Ryan joins me in the kitchen.

• We get started on tomato bisque, Ryan chopping the celery and carrots, and doing most of the stirring. He is also proud to know how to turn on the gas stove. We read the recipe together and make a few decisions about changes to the recipe: no onions because they make me sick, no flour for a roux--partly for paleo reasons, but mostly because I hate messing with roux (which I just looked up and learned the singular is the same as the plural)--and since we don't have enough cream, substituting with whole milk.

• While the soup is simmering, I come over to my desk to write this stuff down. Morgan comes downstairs from playing with Sean and plays on her computer. Ryan goes back upstairs and starts up "school" again. He is apparently making some kind of signage because he has just asked me how to spell having--which I refuse to do and instead walk him through the 'drop the e before adding -ing' rule. He figures it out.

• Kelly calls and asks us to join her for lunch, which is my cue to get dressed.

• I start some laundry and get dressed, and fish all around through the pile of clean laundry on my bed for clothes for Morgan and Sean.

• While I was reminding Morgan for the 6th time to get dressed, Sean and Ryan come downstairs. Sean is wearing his backpack proudly, and inside were letters and drawings. The drawings were made by Sean at "school" and the letter to me was from Ryan. It had a drawing of a train on it and the message "SEANISHAVINGFUN." Apparently, Sean had a fun day at school and this is kind of his report card (though Ryan has no clue what a report card is). Also I think I need to work with Ryan about leaving bigger spaces between his words.

• Morgan and Sean have a big fight over a soccer ball. I remind Morgan to get dressed and then torture Sean by getting him dressed. He has a pretty big furious fit, but not a full-on tantrum (still waiting for that first one).

• Morgan is still not dressed by the time I'm all finished with Sean so I, uh, spur her on toward that goal with a vigorous "Morgan get dressed!"

• Morgan gets dressed and begins The Shoe Hunt. It takes about 100 years for her to find them.

• Now it's time for The Sock Hunt. By this point, the boys are both already in the car, buckled in and waiting.

• After 250 years, we are finally all loaded up in the car and ready to go. Arrive at the restaurant only 15 minutes late.

• Have a nice lunch with Kelly and Livy. The kids play the games on their menus and Kelly and I talk about parenting and multitasking (in parenting and technology) and are interrupted a zillion times, usually by a child who belongs to me. Morgan gets lost/distracted on the way to the restroom, but manages to make it in time. (Whew!)

• After lunch I get to change a poopy diaper on the floor of the van which results in Sean's head being nearly stepped on by Morgan's feet about 3 times, no matter how I try to warn her to pay attention to where her feet are going (in both calm and urgent tones).

• On the way home we listen to The Beatles, Elton John, and The Clash (Music Appreciation!) and try to figure out what the best Beatles songs are.

• Home again. Sean and Morgan bring in the mail, which is a very lengthy task for those two, because there is much dropping of the mail and stopping to pick it back up between the mailbox and the house. Also, don't help Sean EVER because HE WANTS TO DO IT ALL BY HIMSELF. (Probably by the time I've integrated this new development into my subconscious, he'll want me to become his personal servant again.)

• At home, we all spend a few minutes decompressing before The Big Clean. Sean and Ryan head back upstairs (where I'm now afraid to go for fear of what I'll see) for "Art Time" in their school.

• With the kids playing pleasantly upstairs, I am sorely tempted to read my book or knit. SORELY tempted. Instead I put the tomato bisque which was still cooling on the stove into the fridge, Ryan and I having decided to finish it in the blender later, in time for dinner. Then I open the mail and start laundry and generally act like a responsible adult.

• Morgan goes upstairs and returns wearing her dance recital outfit from two years ago. She dons a flower wreath in her hair and announces that she's ready to help clean.

• Never one to refuse such an offer, I get her started in the kitchen. Sean wants to help, too, so I dampen a sponge and tell him to wipe things.

• Ryan cleans the downstairs bathroom after a big argument with Morgan over who "gets" to clean the bathroom. Yes, they both WANTED to clean it and ARGUED about it. Not a bad parenting problem to have, really. The only tricky part is in trying not to seem too excited about this. :)

• After the floor is swept, we all pick up some toys in the family room, and then take a break.

• Morgan reads a book called A Seed Grows to herself, then some out loud to me. Then she reads it to Sean.

• I check some email and surf (and work on this post) and finish up the finer points in the kitchen.

• Morgan and Ryan play Harry Potter LEGO Wii and as of this writing, are making Ron and Harry jump up and down on the canopied beds in the Gryffindor Tower dormitory. Which I think is pretty awesome. 

• Sean is having a snack and watching them and adding his own soundtrack.

• I have to help Sean let go of Morgan's Wii controller, which ends rather better than it could have, considering.

• We talk about Harry Potter and Quidditch some and what to make for dinner. Later on, someone wants to know how computer monitors work, but I recommend they ask that question to Daddy.

• Sean is mysteriously damp all over because I forgot to supervise him with that sponge from earlier. He requests a snack and a towel and I get him both. He settles down next to Ryan to watch him play the Wii and listen to him argue with Morgan over whose turn it is to be Ron/Harry (they've had the forethought to set the kitchen timer, so this is not a discussion which I expect to be involved in, yay).

• I send an email to my mother-in-law to find out if they're renting a car or if they'll need a ride. Hoping they're renting a car as that will give us more time to tidy up before they get here in the morning (and I'll also get to go to CrossFit).

• The house is still not really picked up, but it's 5:30 and I decide to sit and knit and hang out with the kids a bit.

• Only then I get distracted by email.

• And then by Ryan and Morgan bickering over the Wii. So much for expecting not to get involved.

• I have them pause the game and work out a plan for playing it without bickering.

• Then I intervene a couple of times to remind Ryan that barking ultimatums at Morgan is actually not negotiating in good faith and that he needs to change his tactics.

• Then I notice that Morgan is offering a reasonable solution to their problem, but Ryan is refusing to be as reasonable, wanting "proof" that she will never ever shoot his guy again before he'll play. Now I must intervene again, getting frustrated, because this is how he does--he prolongs the discussion for ages and ages and ages until he gets just what he wants because Morgan will often just give in to whatever unreasonable demands he makes because she's bored.

• I give him another chance to negotiate in good faith and he is unable/unwilling to do so. So he is done with the Wii for a while and Morgan resumes her game. Ryan claims he was getting bored with it anyway, and stomps off to the kitchen.

• I help Sean get another snack and then sit down to knit.

• Only then Sean has a bonus poopy diaper, the changing of which tortures both of us.

• I give up the thought of knitting and try to convince him to take a bath (he is scared of baths these days), thinking that if he'd just go into the bath I could at least finish Mockingjay. No dice.

• I notice Ryan back on the Wii game with Morgan and remind him that he is not allowed to play it because he had refused to work through their earlier problem in a fair way.

• I endure some eye-rolling but no other protest.

• Sean is still traumatized from the indignity of the recent diaper change and looking tired. A nap now would mean Certain Disaster, so I go get a couple of books to read to him.

• I read Trucks and But Not the Hippopotamus. Somehow the other two children are attracted to my reading these books, so we all have a moment of peace and harmony.

• Then Morgan decides to switch from Harry Potter to making Miis (I suppose Miis is the plural of Mii?) on the Wii. She loves to put mustaches on the girls and flip flop the features, putting eyes on the chin and mouths on the forehead. She cackles like a crazy person and Ryan and Sean shout suggestions. My favorite is her version of Voldemort--he's wearing makeup and long eyelashes, so he looks like he's in drag.

• Now it's 6:30. The Witching Hour. That crazy period of time before dinner and the arrival of Daddy when there's lots of shouting, body-slamming (from Ryan), raucous laughter, and random head injuries. Happens every day at my house--stop by if you're ever in town! Super entertaining.

And that was pretty much our day! Now I'm off to finish the tomato bisque with Ryan.

OGrownups Monthly Summary

Straight from the better-late-than-never files, here's the OG summary for January!

New members: 7
Total members: 271

Topics

• Article: Breastfeeding in Mongolia
• OGrownups Chat announcement (next one's February 16th!)
• Link: Ten Inspirational Kid Entrepreneurs
• Blog Post: Mythbusting Positive Discipline
• Link: Family Meeting Starter Kits
• Choosing mattresses for your family
• Article about the risks of staying at home with your kids (becoming an at-home parent)
• Having doubts about becoming a parent
• Suzuki pros and cons
• Meal times
• Article about empty praise and self-esteem
• New blog reviewing children's books
• Books for early readers/early reading skills
• Off Topic: Facebook and how you use it
• Article: USDA to revamp school lunches
• Article: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior
• Nightmare Parenting: Chua and Marinovich
• Asian kids respond to Asian mother story (with links)
• Government "educating" kids about the role of government
• Blog Post: Peopleguy Tours
• Chua speaking in Denver
• Katie Granju, pregnant again (she has recently miscarried, I was sorry to learn)
• Steam vacuum cleaners--recommendations
• Cultivating the Virtues Q &A on Google Moderator
• Florida lawmaker introduces bill to grade parental involvement in schools
• Transitioning into a stay-at-home parent role
• Camp for kids who want to be entrepreneurs
• Denver Post LTE about the "tiger mom"
• Blog Post: Parenting Thoughts of the Moment
• Malkin on school choice
• Article: Our superficial scholars
• Self-deception
• Unequal incomes
• Article: Dalrymple: Why we have children
• Article: Balance through selfishness
• Toddler going through a cold phase
• Handling conflicts in a homeschool co-op
• Prenatal vitamins

Whew! Very busy month and an excellent kick-off to the year!

CtV Podcast

We're pleased to present the 13th episode at long last! Please know that we are aware of some technical issues--Kelly has a lot of static on her mic, but believe us when we say that it was much worse before Brendan got a hold of the files! Please bear with us while we work through some of these issues (which will likely exist on the next podcast, too, since we recorded them at the same time).

• Situation of the Week (Jenn): Helping a toddler cope with fears and enjoying his self-awareness

• Topic: A view of what it's like to be the parent of a young adult (begins 7:06)

• Q & A: Does parenting involve sacrifice? (begins 20:09)

As always, feel free to send questions, suggestions, and critiques to cultivatingthevirtues@gmail.com. And we have a new place for you to send questions for future podcasts: check out our Google Moderator page. Please add your own questions and vote for existing questions that you like.

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Book Fog

For the first time since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I am caught up in a book I simply can't put down. I have neglected many responsibilities this weekend, including ATLOS, ATLOSCon 2011, Cultivating the Virtues, my husband and children, my knitting, and of course, housework (which, granted, is something I neglect rather frequently but considering my in-laws are coming to town soon, this is particularly bad).

I'm in such a book fog and shamelessly neglecting my other values all for The Hunger Games trilogy.

It's truly been ages since I've been sucked into a book or series like this. I'm enjoying this feeling so much and I wish everything I read could be this compelling. I'm nearly done with the second book, Catching Fire. And may I just say OMG OMG OMG. And also, !!!!

I'm mentioning this only because you might not hear much from me until I'm all finished with Mockingjay.

TTFN!

CrossFit is Fun for All Personality Types!

This post was jointly written by Jenn Casey of Rational Jenn and Kelly Elmore of Reepicheep's Coracle. It's just one of their many joint ventures. :)

Kelly and Jenn kick ass--but in different ways. Kelly wows people with her fiery personality, passion, and energy; Jenn wows people with her style of writing and telling a story and with her determination and drive. Since we've been going to CrossFit, we've seen our individual strengths and weakness play out in a whole new forum, and part of the fun of going is watching how the other one approaches the workouts. We've been going (Kelly says: "How long have we been going, Jenn?", and Jenn says, without hesitation: "Since September 28.") for only a little while, and we kind of mostly sort of suck, but we are making definite progress.


ABOUT OUR PERSONALITIES

You may be familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (if you're not, you are missing out on both useful information and a super fun way to psycho-analyze your friends and family!), but it's a personality test you can take free and in your spare time. Jenn is an INTJ, which means that she recharges her energy alone or in small groups, likes the big picture over the details, likes distance from problems to analyze them, and likes structure, predictability, and plans. Kelly is an ENFP which means that she recharges in groups and social situations, likes the big picture over the details, likes to be right up in the problems having big feelings about them, and plans make her break out in hives.

We're different people and approach most things very differently; CrossFit is no exception. What we have found is that we both love CrossFit for different reasons. Just like in all areas of our lives, how we approach CrossFit and what we get out of it is heavily influenced by our personality types. There are advantages and disadvantages to all personality types; no type is inherently better than another. We're gonna explain some of the pros and cons of our particular types as we talk more about our CrossFit experiences.


RECORD KEEPING

In general, CrossFitters tend to track their progress in terms of time, rounds, how much weight lifted, and improvement over time.

Jenn: I love this aspect of CrossFit! I generally love measurement of any sort, and I actually get a little thrill every time I write down the Workout of the Day (WOD) in my iPhone. I love knowing how much weight I lifted last time, how much more I can do now, and I look forward to lifting more in the future. (I felt like such a badass the time I did a #95 back squat, and I can't wait for the day when I will do #195!) I even like the counting and tracking when we are in the middle of the workout; I love measuring my progress as I erase each little hash mark off of the whiteboard. In short, I love all the numbers and the measurements and think it is the most super fun thing ever.

Jenn, looking
excited and intentionally psycho: "I can't wait to see how fast
I can go through all these hash marks!"

Kelly: I don't keep records. Not at all. I couldn't care less how much I did last time or how much I will do next time. I take great pleasure in what I did this time, but the pleasure is the same whether I lifted 20 lbs. or 120 lbs. If I had to write anything down, I would quit, like tomorrow. We did some benchmarks not long ago, and our trainer actually asked Jenn to write down my times in her iPhone, which she was happy to do, cause she is obsessively fond of that record-keeping app. He didn't even mention it to me, observant man that he is.

"How many
rounds have I done tonight? Jenn! How many rounds have I
done tonight?"

The advantages of being Jenn and keeping records are that she can easily measure her progress, make changes if it isn't enough for her, and really celebrate her achievements in concrete ways. But it's easy to get caught up in the numbers, and sometimes her focus on the numbers keeps her from enjoying the experience and the afterglow of a good workout. She might not stop when she should, if the workout is too hard or she's in a little pain, because she wants to complete that next round. The advantages of being Kelly and not keeping records are that she can focus completely on the moment and the experience and not feel nickeled and dimed about her workout. However, she can sometimes miss patterns in her progress or her lack of it because she is without data.

GOAL SETTING

Jenn: In addition to specific weightlifting goals, I love the idea that one day I might be able to do an unassisted pullup. My goal before the pullup was to do real-live man pushups, a goal I recently accomplished! I amazed myself--and all the friends for whom I demonstrated my pushups. I like thinking about the things that are now within my reach because of CrossFit.

"Hooray!
The WOD! I hope it's harder than last time!"

Kelly: I don't really set goals for CrossFit, though when Jenn mentions hers I sometimes say, "Yeah, me too!" I enjoy seeing the results of CrossFit, but planning ahead about what I want to achieve makes me feel bossed. When I found that I could jump up into a front support on a much higher bar at work (Kelly teaches gymnastics coaches), I was super pleased, but I didn't rush out to set another goal for the future. I'll just wait until the next time I do something new and cool and be happy to be surprised.

"Today, I'm
going to . . . ooh, look there's a butterfly!"

The advantages and disadvantages of goal setting are pretty much the same as the record keeping. Another disadvantage for Kelly is that she might not always push herself hard enough since there isn't a goal she's working toward; whereas sometimes Jenn feels disappointed or impatient about the time it takes to reach goals.


ROWING VS RUNNING

Usually, at least during the warmup, if not also during the WOD, we do either running or rowing on a machine.

Jenn: Whenever I see rowing on the whiteboard, I'm pretty pumped. The machine has lovely little numbers all over it that tell you how far you went, and how many strokes per minute you are doing. I watch the strokes per minute as I row, and I try to make it go from 30 s/m all the way up to 40. Every once in a while (usually when Kelly is rowing next to me) I pretend I am rowing Frodo and Sam on the River Andouin, but usually I just watch the numbers. I focus on my rowing form and try to pay attention to how it affects the numbers. As a short-legged person, running has never been my forte or interest, and while I enjoy it more than I ever thought I would pre-CrossFit, the only way I can actually enjoy it is if I count my steps (1, 2, 3, 4) and time my breathing with my steps. I guess adding numbers to my activities makes them more fun for me!

Jenn, trying to
get that strokes-per-minute number ever higher.

Kelly: I hate rowing. You sit in one place on a boring machine with all these F-ing numbers, and no matter how hard you row, you never go anywhere. I try to make it fun by singing in my head, but it never works. I do like the running, a lot in fact, way more that I ever thought I would. I enjoy going outside of the gym at night in the cool air, imagining myself on some kind of adventure. Sometimes, I pretend that I am Aragorn, running after the captured hobbits, never stopping no matter how tired until I find them and slay some orcs. Sometimes I am a Homo heidelbergensis running after a tired antelope until it collapses and I can eat it for dinner. Sometimes I repeat poems in my head, and sometimes I just look at trees and grass and cars and feel free.

Kelly, chained
to the rowing machine, like a slave to the galley.

Jenn's disadvantages are that she doesn't have that fun "I feel free" experience. But she probably runs harder and rows faster, since Kelly's leisurely fictional workout is a disadvantage in intensity. Jenn has a lot of drive and intensity in her workouts, but sometimes she might be a little light on the fun.

COURAGE AND CAUTION

CrossFit sometimes demands skills that are new and intimidating for a lot of people; it's scary to put big weights up over your head and to jump up on boxes that look likely to trip you and to throw yourself hard to the ground in a burpee.

Jenn: CrossFit is my first real experience with any kind of weightlifting at all; I'm a total newbie. Also, I'm not a young whippersnapper anymore and don't want to hurt myself! I appreciate the fact that our trainer Chris teaches me new skills in a way that makes me feel safe. I prefer to work at lower weights for a longer time until I feel like my form is super great. Only after a longish period in my new comfort zone will I move up in weight. Fortunately, Chris is patient with that. Even so, sometimes it's scary and I have to just do it. I'm especially nervous about snatches (well, any time I need to hold something heavy over my head) and box jumps because of my huge hobbit feet (can we work the word hobbit into this post any more?). Part of the reason I am nervous about the overhead stuff is that I am afraid that I really might not let go and get out from under the weight (a downside to being so determined to follow through with every exercise, perhaps).

"I can do this;
I've had three c-sections!"

Kelly: I am kind of a jump-in-er. I swashbuckle through our workouts, like a pirate, and I like to try new, hard skills. I love to add weight, though I make sure that I get the form right, and I don't feel afraid of lifts over my head. I know I can just let go and jump out from underneath if I have to. I have never once worried about hurting myself at CrossFit. I very well might; I just don't worry about it. Doing the fancy Olympic lifts makes me feel super tough and full of adrenaline. I find the challenge of holding good form and doing the complex lifts correctly under heavier weights intellectually satisfying.

"Woo-hoo! Bout to be a rockstar!"

The pros for Jenn are that she will likely avoid injuries, keep good form, and build confidence slowly. She also may not progress as fast as she could on the complicated lifts. Kelly progresses quickly on these lifts and learns new skills faster, but she is more likely to jump into a situation that is too difficult for her skill level. She's pretty good about realizing when she's in over her head, though, and because it won't get written down anyway, she can back off without shame.


VERTICAL VS HORIZONTAL PROGRESS

Jenn: I get most excited about the workouts in which I improve on something I have done in the past, either more weights, better time, more rounds, etc. This the vertical progress we are talking about. I wish we repeated WODs more often so I could see more of this kind of vertical improvement.

Kelly: I like to learn new skills more than I like to perfect the old ones. I would rather do a new lift than an old one with more weight. This is what we mean by horizontal progress. I love the variety of CrossFit, and if we did the same things a lot more often, I'd probably quit. I can face 20 hard minutes if they are a different 20 hard minutes than the last time.

The advantage of being a vertical progress person is that what you get good at, you get really good at, but you can get stuck in a rut or forget to appreciate the experience of learning something new. The advantage of being a horizontal progress person is that you acquire all the varied components of fitness in the CrossFit system, but you can be too much of a generalist and not push to our limits on specific skills. We both enjoy both kinds of progress; the difference is only in which kind keeps us coming back to CrossFit.

INTENSITY AND FUN

Jenn: I think I'm pretty determined and intense for most of the workouts. I try to stay focused on what I'm doing, monitor my progress (hash marks, rounds, time), and push through to the bitter end. Sometimes when I lag in the middle of a WOD, I motivate myself by thinking about ObamaCare (because I need to be strong and healthy now, the better to withstand the inevitable shortages and rationing!). I try to remember that my goal is to be healthy and that keeps me going to the end. Sometimes I'm too serious, and working out with Kelly reminds me that part of the fun of CrossFit is . . . fun! It's super awesome fun to move and lift things and be a bad-ass person!

"1, 2, 3, 4 . . . "

Kelly: I definitely work at a less intense level than Jenn overall. I can be pretty intense about the stuff I really really like, such as snatches and sprints. It's not that I go leisurely through the workouts, it's just that I don't push to my limits very often. It's motivating to me to look over and see that Jenn is going faster or harder than I am, and then I remember to think about whether or not I could go any faster. It just doesn't occur to me until I look at her to think about pushing harder. I'm mostly motivated by fun and so I do mind games with myself if I need to work harder, such as when I'm doing deadlifts, I imagine that I'm Pa (from Laura Ingalls Wilder) on a handcar, where you have lift up and down and up and down to move the car. The social atmosphere is also really fun for me. I like to see what everybody is doing and feel like I'm in the middle of a bunch of action.

"Cinderella, dressed in yella, went upstairs to kiss her fella . . . "

AFTER CROSSFIT

Jenn: After a workout, I go over the numbers and progress in my head, and am usually already thinking about what I'll do next time. Sometimes I feel a bit disappointed and need to remember that my goal here is to move around and get strong and have fun, too. Sometimes I am in awe of my bad-assedness--I get so pumped when I realize that I really did 100 squats during a particular workout! I always have to tell Brendan (my husband) all about what I did, and sometimes demonstrate, too!

Kelly: After the workout, I immediately call Aaron and tell him every single thing we did and how awesome I am and how lucky he is to be with such a rock star! Then, I promptly forget everything that we did and don't think about CrossFit until the next time I go except when something particular happens that I want to blog about. Unlike Jenn, I don't think about the future. Each workout is an end in itself.



CROSSFIT KENNESAW

Jenn: Our gym is great, and the gym owner, Chris, is awesome to work with. He is great at teaching the skills as I mentioned before, and he lets me make progress on my own schedule. At the same time, he motivates me by saying "Yeah, go for it!" when I am slowing down during a WOD or am undecided about whether to move up in weight. I trust that he wouldn't push me too fast or too far. During the WOD, he notices if I'm questioning how I'm doing and doesn't hesitate to encourage or reassure me. Even when I come in dead last, which is often, he finds something encouraging and supportive to say. In fact, everyone at the gym encourages and supports each other, and I think it's because of the way Chris has modeled this as part of the way he runs his business. It's a great atmosphere.

Kelly: I like Chris because he's relaxed and fun and doesn't make me feel bossed. He gives me advice and guidance, but doesn't try to alter my basic approach. He's fine with me only coming in two times a week (which is all I've got, right now). He doesn't seem to care that I don't do recording. He doesn't try to have goal-setting sessions with me. Also, the music is fun (he plays Beastie Boys for me), and the atmosphere isn't like a muscle magazine. There's not a lot of super-loud grunting and there are no calendars with women and cars. Chris encourages me in a different way than he does Jenn. He sees when I'm slacking and gives me The Look that means "Get your ass in gear!" He's also really willing to answer my technical questions about the biomechanics of skills. Basically, he doesn't go all School Principal on me, asking where I was at the last workout or what I've been eating. And he doesn't make me feel like I'm too old or too out-of-shape to do CrossFit.


So there you have it! Two different people bringing different things to CrossFit, getting great results, and enjoying it, too! And that's the whole reason we wanted to write this post.

We have a mutual friend who was a little (maybe more than a little) turned off from CrossFit by reading Jenn's post about it, mostly, we think, because they are so different that it was hard for her to imagine that there were things she might like about CrossFit, too. Had Kelly written the same post, it would have been completely different, and probably have turned off a whole other set of people.

Now that we've (hopefully) shown that CrossFit offers different values to different kinds of people, we have one final point we'd like to discuss. Our different personality types make us excellent workout partners. It's because of our our differences that we motivate each other and make the experience more enjoyable. For example, when Kelly's wall balls start to look a little chill, there's Jenn throwing with all her might, reminding Kelly to throw a little higher, squat a little deeper. When Jenn is frustrated by tripping over the jump rope for the zillionth time, she looks at Kelly who is chanting "Cinderella, dressed in yella " and trying playground tricks, and remembers that once upon a time jumping rope was fun, and decides that maybe it could be fun again today. (Although jumping rope is much harder to do with boobs--and way more embarrassing--we have photographic evidence of this which you will never see!)

So if you are a structured person, go out and find yourself a flake to take to the gym with you. And if you're a free spirit, find somebody with an iPhone app and a couple of minor neuroses, and invite them to CrossFit! You'll each find something to enjoy on your way to becoming a bad-ass rock star. Like us.

BAD ASS

ROCK STARS