Wow

ATLOSCon was amazing fun. And I want to write all about it so that I don't forget anything!

But even though I paced myself very well and didn't really get burned out until after the conference was actually over (yesterday evening), I'm not quite ready to write about it. I am feeling a powerful need to spend some time with my kids and just rest and ponder a bit.

Also, I'm WAY behind on my knitting and I have a super-secret surprise for my grandmother, who I'll be seeing in just a couple of weeks!

If you'd like to see some pictures, check out our FB page and the many photos posted by those who were in attendance. And the #ATLOSCon Twitter feed has some good stuff on it, too!

I'll write more tonight or tomorrow. It was a wonderful time and I met so many awesome people in person for the first time! Totally great experience. Thanks to all who attended, our speakers, and all of the ATLOS peopleguys who made it happen!

ATLOSCon!

Tonight tonight tonight tonight, hot damn, tonight!

It seems so strange that our second conference is already happening! I am so happy to be a part of it. All of us ATLOS peopleguys, most especially Kelly, have been working so very hard to pull this thing off. The last couple of months have been very ATLOSCon-centric.

I'm sure not everything will go off without a hitch, but I expect this conference to be bigger, better, awesomer, funner, and fantastic-er than last year's (which is a tall order)!

I'm taking this afternoon to have a quiet few hours with the kids before everything starts. I need some time to get my head in the game (fun as these things are, they take a lot of energy out of me). So we're doing some last minute cleaning for our house guests and I'm going to practice my Peabody talk in front of the kids because I'm kind of nervous about that one. I don't know why...I can blather on about Peabody and Emerson endlessly and without much provocation just as well as I can blather on about Positive Discipline, but hey, that's me.

I had a planning FAIL and forgot to secure babysitting for tonight, so we're all going to the Meet and Greet (Brendan will take the kids home a bit early), and then at the crack of early tomorrow we'll be getting ready for our first day of classes, woohoo!

If you're coming to the conference, I can't wait to see you! If you're not, you will be sorely missed (and I'm pointing my finger at a few specific people that I won't call out by name because I'm polite like that).

I probably won't be blogging, but I (and others) will certainly be tweeting the fun (and hopefully pictures). So check out the #ATLOSCon tag on Twitter for real-time ATLOSCon info, events, non-sequiturs, and dropped context quotes!

See you tonight!

BACK!

I am amazed at all of the things I've done or have happened in the space of one week.

• Totally punted the things I'd planned to do so we could go out of town on two days' notice.

• Brendan turned 40 on Tuesday!

• Drove 6-8 hours in the car for FOUR. STRAIGHT. DAYS. to Chicago and back. It went like this: Wednesday--drive to Kentucky; Thursday--drive to Chicago, attend the wake; Friday--funeral, drive to Louisville; Saturday, drive home.

• Discovered a town called Horse Cave, Kentucky.

• Went to the wake and visited with my in-laws.

• Managed a pretty big freak-out by Ryan about the wake and the religious service that kicked it off. :/

• Woke up the morning of the funeral to Morgan tapping me on the shoulder to tell me she'd puked.

• Stayed home from the funeral to help Morgan deal with Pukinson's Disease. The boys stayed with me, meaning that Brendan went to yet another family funeral without me. :(

• Friday night's rest at the hotel was interrupted by a screaming Sean who seemed to be getting a cold (he's fine now, how strange is that? fastest cold ever!). He completely freaked out for about 20-30 minutes, then passed out. I don't know about you, but I have a hard time falling asleep after the adrenaline rush of being awakened by a screaming kid. Also, he managed to fall off the hotel bed the next morning (he's okay).

• The reason we rushed home was that I had a big surprise planned for Brendan's birthday on Saturday. Considering his birthday week began with the death of his grandfather, I was DETERMINED that something fun should happen. So Saturday night, hours after arriving home (with his mom, stepdad, and younger brother who had caravanned with us from Chicago, and his older brother who flew from Chicago), we headed to dinner with many, many friends, and The Hackensaw Boys concert! It really was very very much fun, and I stayed up WAY past my bedtime.

• Yesterday, we got a late start in the morning, visited with one brother-in-law before he had to go to the airport, went to lunch, and then everyone else took the kids to play mini-golf and I went to the grocery store for much-needed supplies. We had a cookout in the evening, and then everyone left today.

CR.AZY.

Actually, it wouldn't have even been that crazy except there is no rest for the weary this week because:

ATLOSCon 2011 starts in just a few days!

Can you believe it? The festivities start Thursday night, and I still have SO much to do to get things organized in time. In addition to the three talks I'm personally doing (two of them teamed up with Kelly and one solo), we are managing some of the technical aspects of the conference (projectors and video), hosting Kid Central at our house on the days of the classes as well as house guests, and I'm sure I'll be doing some last-minute whatever-needs-doing kinds of stuff, too.

I am so excited about our second conference! It'll be bigger and better this year, and I'm so looking forward to seeing old friends, meeting some new people, listening to the interesting talks, giving my own talks, partying, talking, laughing, and hanging out with people who share my passion for the ideas of Ayn Rand!

I can't wait, even though I know it'll be exhausting, it'll be exhausting in a good kind of way. In the meantime, I'd better get rocking on my to-do list!

See You in a Bit

I'll be taking a brief break from blogging. Brendan's grandfather passed away on Monday and we are heading up to Chicago for all of the family stuff. If you haven't heard any Papa stories, ask me . . . I've got a few. He was quite a personality, that's for sure.

So: big unscheduled road trip = Crazy Jenn. We leave this afternoon and I think I've managed to come out the other side of this whirlwind of preparations with a net positive. I think we've got the basics covered anyway--we've got all three kids present and accounted for, insulin, Epi-pens, computers, phones, and a couple of diapers. Everything else is non-essential, and I include clothing and food in that, as those are things we could acquire easily during the trip.

We'll return on Saturday (I hope) so that Brendan's Big Birthday Surprise can come off as scheduled. And after that, more whirlwind preparations for ATLOSCon! Which STARTS NEXT WEEK. Wow! Not too late to sign up, by the way.

So I'll see you in a bit. Bye for now!

Our Story

In honor of Brendan's 40th birthday today, I thought I'd tell the story of how we got together. I don't think I've written about that here on the old blog yet, so for those who are interested, here we go!

I was walking to class with my roommate on a cold January morning in 1992 (I was a junior at Purdue). First day of classes. As we approached the Math Building, she elbowed me and said "Hey! Isn't that Brendan Casey?" And it was.

I wasn't expecting to see him ever again because he'd taken a semester off the previous fall and I figured he'd stay in Florida. I'd been disappointed upon learning from C. that Brendan was taking that semester off . . . we'd hung out quite a bit (just as friends) the previous spring and I'd thought he was pretty cool. And for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about him all that summer and that empty fall semester.

So when I saw him that morning in January, wearing a black trench coat and sunglasses and looking like a super cool rock star, my stomach flipped over half a dozen times. He was back! That's all I thought about that morning--he was back.

He called me that afternoon. (I later learned that I was the first person he called.) We met up in the dorm and chatted (awkwardly, at least I was awkward) awhile, and when we parted, I was light-hearted and nervous.

But we didn't get together right away. I was nursing a new and pretty severe heartbreak, and was therefore hesitant to start up anything again so soon, even with someone who played bass and sang in a rock band and had somehow lost his braces since the last time I'd seen him and was super good-looking and made my stomach do flips.

He either sensed I wasn't ready for anything or thought we'd just pick up our friendship where we'd left it eight months before, because pretty soon after, he took up with some girl I didn't approve of. I'm sure she's a perfectly nice person now, but at the time, my only thought was this: "Well, he obviously has NO taste in women, so he clearly doesn't deserve ME." No, truly, that was my assessment of his character. :)

Still, my feelings were very hurt, because WTH? Couldn't he see how awesome I was? Was he BLIND for pete's sake? Was he possibly INSANE? (Blind and insane were the only two reasons I really considered.) And if so, then why does he keep calling me and why do we keep hanging out together so much?

So for the next couple of months he saw this girl and I saw a few other guys. (Um, not all at once. In succession. Just realized how that sounds.) His band played a few shows and I went to every. single. one. and watched him. I'd already made up my mind that I'd get him one day, but I wasn't at all sure how I'd go about it.

We were both taking accounting that semester, so we became accounting buddies. I can't remember if we were in the same section or not, but all of the homework was the same and we had the same crazy exuberant professor who waved his arms and worked himself up until he was sweaty and beet-red during every lecture. (Once, this professor waved his arms so emphatically his shirt popped up over his ample stomach and he turned even redder than ever. Good times.)

So we did homework and hung out. Brendan told me about economics and MIDI and effects processors and I brought him to Objectivist Club meetings (because, in my humble, I thought he needed to get on the plan asap).

At the end of March or beginning of April, we started hanging out more often and things became more intense somehow. I was interested, for sure. I wanted him. He persisted in dating that other person, but I could see some cracks there. I decided that at the very least, I'd have tell him how I felt about him at some point and then deal with whatever happened as a result. I remember consciously deciding to Carpe Diem and be courageous and honest and virtuous, etc. Hooray for that. But I was nervous. Really really nervous. So I kept putting it off.

Then he broke up with the girl he'd been seeing and the time had come. Another week or so went by for various reasons, and we spent all of our free time together. I thought that he was interested, too, but I couldn't really tell for sure. Even so, I girded up my Carpe Diem Resolution one night and told him "I think you're the coolest guy." His response: "Wanna go out?" 

Our first date was the next night, and our first kiss was early in the morning the next day (a really long date!), ten years to the hour before the birth of our first child. And the rest is history. We've been together almost half of our lives. Crazy to think about, because we're really not that old yet. :)

Happy Birthday, Brendan! Here's to the next 19 years and beyond!

Food Allergy Awareness Week: Morgan's Interview

Well, Morgan changed her mind at the last second and decided to consent to an interview.

Even though she doesn't have a food allergy, food allergies affect her life every day. She (and her friend Livy, who is mentioned in the interview a couple of times) has always been very understanding and kind about the allergy, and very willing to do what she must do to help protect her brother.







By the way, how cute is she? :D

OGrownups Monthly Summary

A little late, but whatcha gonna do about it? :D

Here's what happened in April on the OGrownups list:

New members: 5


Total members: 276

Topics

• Video: 23 weeks of pregnancy in 3 minutes
• Don't leave your kids in the car
• Public School Testing
• Article: How Ayn Rand ruined my childhood
• Blog Post: Ayn Rand did not ruin my childhood
• Irish setter dad
• Parenting Blog Post
• Free Objectivist novel about school
• Caplan on twin research and parenting
• Comparisons
• Kids' ethics book
• The Lost Fleet
• Potty reversal
• Easter treats
• Discovering Positive Discipline
• Mentors
• Article: Tips for Introverted Parents Raising Extroverted Kids
• A mother's prayer for her daughter (humor by Tina Fey)
• For those who hate The Giving Tree
• New children's book
• Wine marketed to moms
• Video: Math Education: An Inconvenient Truth
• Video: Julia Sweeney: Sex Ed
• Young stepdad in trouble
• Boy with Pink Toenails in J. Crew Ad Stirs Up Trouble
• Blog Posts: Parenting Challenge and follow up

Lots of spirited discussions this month!

What is OGrownups? It's:

OGrownups is an informal e-mail list for for Objectivists and others interested in raising and educating children well. Its basic purpose is to facilitate discussion amongst Objectivists about child development, discipline techniques, education methods, parenting resources, and more.

Any Objectivist interested in polite and practical discussion about raising and educating children rationally may subscribe and post to OGrownups -- including parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, caregivers, and friends. Any Objectivist considering parenthood is also welcome to subscribe and post. Moreover, non-Objectivists are welcome to subscribe to the list, but only as lurkers; they cannot post. OGrownups is not moderated, but members who violate its rules will be subject to moderation, if not unsubscribed.

Diana is the owner of the OLists. And I'm the manager of OGrownups.

For more information about OGrownups and how to join, check out our homepage!

Food Allergy Awareness Week 2011

So I had a couple of things planned for this year's Food Allergy Awareness Week, but gack! Suddenly the week is half over!

Today I'll share with you two videos. The first is an interview I did with Ryan yesterday, talking about his allergy. As always, I learned something about what Ryan does and does not know about his own allergy from this interview, so that's good stuff. It's been so long since he's had any kind of reaction that he truly doesn't remember what might happen. And he seems really stuck on the fact that I won't let him get candy out of vending machines! Who knew?

No, I don't think he's outgrown the allergy; I think we've managed his exposures very well. Though I suspect that we'll do a RAST blood test at some point in the future to see if his levels have changed at all.

Here's the video. I like it because you can get to see some of his personality, his ways of speaking. :D







The next video is a snippet of Diana's Rationally Selfish Webcast from a couple of weeks ago. The question she answers is one I submitted at her request, due to a Facebook blow up over whether or not peanut bans in schools constitute a violation of the rights of the non-allergic kids and parents of non-allergic kids. I do plan to write up my own thoughts about this, hopefully this week. I have a few things to add to what Diana says.









Additionally, I'll point you to a couple of my own favorite food allergy posts from the past.

Facts About Peanut Allergies: a little bit about some of the risk assessment factors, and specifically what Ryan's personal risk is based on his medical history

The Big Peanut Kaboom: the story of the night we gave Ryan peanut butter-chocolate ice cream and spent the night at the pediatric hospital, complete with exciting fireman peopleguys visiting our house!

"Just" Teach Your Children Well: my personal favorite, a somewhat snarky and pointed look at the flaws in the reasoning of people who oppose food allergy accommodations for elementary-aged school children.

Ryan's Food Allergy Awareness Week interview from last year

Morgan's Food Allergy Awareness Week interview from last year (not sure if she wants to be interviewed this year)

I Am Not an Attention-Seeking Psycho: a response to an article by Joel Stein who basically called food allergies a made-up yuppie thing

Joel Stein is an Attention-Seeking Psycho: a response to his mea culpa piece in TIME after his own child was diagnosed with a peanut allergy



So, consider yourself Aware of Food Allergies!

And please help me spread the word. Tweet this, Facebook it, link to the YouTube video, whatever. If you learned something interesting or useful here, please help spread that information to others. I'd REALLY appreciate it. :D

Rock Star

Did you know I'm married to a Rock Star?




Brendan and some friends played in a charity concert last week. And yes, the band is really called Gerry Attrick and the Walkers. I wasn't able to go see the concert in person, so I'm glad his friend's wife took a video!

Watching that video reminds me SO much of college. Wow. Kids were impressed, too.

Yup, even though I can kick his ass on bass guitar in Beatles Rock Band, he's got the real talent. I'm married to a Rock Star!

Jenn Casey's Day Off

In just a little while, I'll be leaving home for my first Day Off in a good long while!

I don't know exactly what I'll be doing. I have it in mind that I'll get a little work done, a little shopping done, a couple of errands done. I might eat Chinese food. Or I might just find a coffee shop somewhere and knit.

Or I might, for a day, be a fry cook on Venus.






See you soon!

Five Star Challenge: Round Five!

Okay, so for the last round of the Give Yourself a Five Star Rating (originally found over at Mel's blog), I will talk about Five People I Love. I didn't get to this yesterday because I was enjoying a super-fantabulous Mother's Day!

Before I do that, check out the other people who are participating in the challenge, too. :D


1. Brendan

From the moment I met him (20 years ago, ack!), when he still had braces (I know!) and wore that black cowboy hat all the time, I liked this guy. Plus he was the singer and bass player in a band and that was just HOT.

He is creative and funny and kind and supportive and he gets me. We not only have the same tastes in music (Beatles!) and tv (Arrested Development!) and movies (A Fish Called Wanda!), we can be economics geeks together and talk about Objectivism and parenting and other Big Ideas.

He has seen me at my worst and at my best and has loved me through it all. Somehow I got him to come around on this whole kid idea and to no one's surprise, he turned out to be the World's Best Dad. Really, except for his whole "Let Me Just Kill Off My Own Pancreas" experiment about ten years ago and the fact that he is an extreme Type B (or P if you're into MBTI) which makes me crazy sometimes, he is just about perfect. Actually, he is perfect for me. :D I love you, sweetie!


2. My kids

I probably should have broken them out separately, but it would leave less room for other people I truly love. Maybe that's not in the spirit of the thing, but oh well.

Ryan, age 9: too smart for my own good, determined, defiant, hates housecleaning, bossy, argumentative, funny, creative, business-minded, dramatic, quick, fascinated with the sound of his own voice and the thoughts in his own head. He is almost a carbon-copy of me (he's the one who most looks like me I think, but I mean mainly in personality). He is sometimes hard to get along with (a phrase that's been applied to me countless times in my life for sure) but he is imaginative and fun and I absolutely cannot wait to see the way(s) in which he will conquer the world.

Morgan, age 6: too smart for my own good, independent, somewhat solitary, sweet, kind, wiggly, harmonious, absent-minded professor-y, quick to catch on, excellent memory (for things she is focused on), hyper-focused (for things she is focused on), dog-lover, nudist, can never find shoes or underwear. She is a carbon-copy of Brendan right down to the looks even. She is the daughter I was scared to have (because I didn't know how and still don't know how to do hair--but as it turned out she hates Hair Stuff as much as I do, woohoo!). She is a lot like I was as a child--studious and musical and far, far ahead academically--but unlike me lacks a certain, ah, um . . . practical reality-based orientation sometimes (and by sometimes, I mean often). I absolutely cannot wait to see the things that she does in the world.

Sean, age 2 and 11/12ths: too smart for my own good, cheery, independent, snuggly, mama's boy, a brute force, solid, impish, sneaky, in a hurry to grow up but still wants to be referred to as "yittle," Incredible-Hulk-ish. He is the child we weren't sure we were going to have, but I'm so glad we did! He's a blend--a blend of me and Brendan in looks and personality (with a generous dash of Kelly thrown in for good measure!). He is generally happy, and when he's not, he's really REALLY NOT. But unlike the previous models, his bad moods and sadnesses disappear quickly and he is right back to his sunshiny self. I absolutely cannot wait to find out what he'll do in the world.

My kids--I have enjoyed (well, you know what I mean) getting to know each of them so far and enjoy them all for who they are right now. The process of watching and helping young humans discover themselves and figure out their way in the world is fascinating, difficult, heartbreaking, hysterically funny, and FUN. I have the best job in the whole world.


3. Kelly

I first met Kelly when Ryan was 1 and she was pregnant with Livy, so about 8 years ago. Wow! I'd never met another Objectivist with children before...I mean, I knew they existed and all, but had never imagined for a second that there would be another Objectivist right here practically in my own town who was having a baby!

We liked each other right away, and generally always did, but it took many years for our friendship to really solidify and take off, for a variety of reasons that make for a Really Long Story.

Today she is best friend, co-parent to my children (we joke that Sean is Kelly's and my kid because he's a lot like her in personality), confidant, supporter, encourager, business partner, philosophical premise double-checker, and the bringer of FUN. And she gets me!


4. My best friend from college

Thoughtful and challenging, C. has been my friend for longer than Brendan even. He and I became very close friends in my last couple of years at college. I've always felt a strong connection between us, and though we have gone through times when we didn't talk at all, or much, we have a way of instantly reconnecting when we do see each other. We just pick up the conversation as if no time at all had gone by.

Strong connection I've always felt, but never a romantic connection. There was one weekend when I, on the advice of friends who pointed out that he is in fact pretty good-looking, tried really really hard to like him. (This was before Brendan.) I really tried but somehow our connection was just never romantic (the feelings were/are mutual, I'm sure). I suspect it's due in part to the fact that we're both headstrong Type A people and we'd have probably had to kill each other. :)

We were in each other's weddings and know each other's kids and have (until this summer, sadly) vacationed together regularly. He has a crazy funny weird awesome sense of humor. :) He also gets me, and I'm so glad for the internets which make it possible for us to stay in touch and connected on a semi-regular basis.


5. My grandmother

My grandmother kicks ass! She is 90 and in good health, both physically and mentally. Her knitting is amazing. She is independent and active and coming to my brother's wedding next month. I hate that we haven't gotten to know each other very well since I grew up...we live on opposite sides of the country and seeing each other has been difficult. Thankfully, she has email and I am able to stay in touch with her semi-regularly and send her pictures of her only (so far!) great-grandkids.

She is funny and smart and opinionated and I want to be just like her when I grow up.


And that's the end of this Give Yourself a 5 Star Rating Challenge! Thanks for reading along.

As I mentioned in the first post, this exercise came along at an opportune time for me. I was getting caught up in how Things Weren't Perfect and Things Weren't Going Fast Enough and therefore that meant Things Suck! I wasn't in a super deep funk over it, but I was heading that way.

It's a good thing to sit back and appreciate yourself and your life a bit. I've definitely found my mojo and am no longer feeling like cranky Mojo Jojo!

Five Star Challenge: Round Four!

Today it's Five Things that Make You Happy You're Alive!

What to choose....what to choose? Tomorrow's list will be all about the people in my life, so I'll restrict this list to things.



1. Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc

How's that for specific? It's so yummy, and so affordable. Try it. Today.


2. Chocolate

How's that for general? :P Yes, I am paleo for the most part, but life wouldn't be any fun without wine and chocolate. Hooray for wine and chocolate peopleguys!


3. Music

The Beatles. The White Stripes. The Police. Elvis Costello. Adele. Lenny Kravitz. Peter Gabriel. R.E.M. (old stuff). U2. Jack Johnson. Bob Marley. The Clash. Queen. Eric Clapton. David Bowie. The Smiths. Depeche Mode. Psychedelic Furs. Johann Sebastian Bach. Scott Joplin. George Gershwin. Rodgers & Hammerstein. Lerner & Lowe.

Just to name a few.


4. Exercise Endorphins

Until I started working out for real (you know, instead of doing it in a half-assed way or avoiding it altogether), I figured everyone was just making it up. You know, the "runner's high." They totally weren't! I love that floaty buzzy feeling. In fact, I'll be running in a 5K this morning so I'll be extra-floaty all weekend....wheeeeee!


5. Books and Poetry (and sometimes the movies they inspire)

Here's a partial list: E.M. Forster. Jane Austen. Shakespeare. Donne. Yeats. Harper Lee. Wordsworth. Twain. Melville. Rand. J.K. Rowling. Tolkien. C.S. Lewis. L.M. Montgomery. Elizabeth Peters. Coleridge. Longfellow.

I'm sure I'm leaving someone critical out, but you get the picture. As business-y and practical as I turned out to be, deep down in my soul I'm still a Lit Major.

Five Star Challenge: Round Three!

So today, it's five things I'm grateful for. Grateful is "warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received."

Just so you know, there are way more than only five things for which I'm grateful. Here are some at the top of the list, in no particular order:


1. A husband and friends and family who make me laugh and think.

Two things I very much value, laughing and thinking, are a whole lot more fun with my favorite people. I am so happy to know so many awesome people--some I've known for years and years, some I'm just really getting to know (I'm looking at YOU, homeschool co-op!).

Because even though laughing and thinking can of course be done on my own, it's so much more fun to do in the company of wonderful, thoughtful, amusing, awesome people who share my values and interests!


2. Ayn Rand

Without her ideas, I would be a much different person today. More neurotic (no, really!), unhappier, less efficacious.

That's it, plain and simple. I could go on and on, but it would take up too much room here on the blog to explain all of the ways in which Objectivism has enriched my life in any kind of detail.

But it's true. And I mean it.


3. Technology

I love technology! I love using it to make my life easier and to connect with people (like you!). To name a few examples:

• I love electricity and electric lights. I can (and do) stay awake at all hours of the night and can be productive even. 
• I love computers and the internets. I write on this here blog and use Twitter and Facebook to talk to people I care about who have the absolute nerve not to live only 5 minutes away from me.
• I love the fact that I had three c-sections and my babies and I came out just fine on the other side.
• I also love that there are antibiotics and medicines that I can (and do) use all the time. My family does, too. A special shout out to the peopleguys who make Armour Thyroid (me) and Humalog (Brendan) and Epi-pens and Benadryl (Ryan).
• I love having cars and airplanes so I can travel to see all of the people who have the absolute nerve not to live only 5 minutes away from me (you know who you are! I'm looking at you RIGHT NOW so go ahead and hang your head in shame).

Technology. Use it. Love it. Grateful for it. 

Also, I'm grateful that I don't have to, you know, invent all this stuff either.

4. Quiet moments with my kids.

Those of you who know my kids in real life are probably thinking Huh? Does that ever even happen?

And with good reason. :D But yes, we do have quiet moments, and I do appreciate them all the more because they are relatively rare. Sometimes, we'll all be hanging out in the afternoon, focused on our own pursuits, and though there may be a little background noise (Sean is a singer), the atmosphere is calm and serene. And quiet.

In those moments, I make sure to stop what I'm doing and notice what they're doing. If I close my eyes right now, I can picture each one: Ryan is constructing a battlefield or has his nose in a book; Morgan will be standing on her head on the couch playing a video game, or she is surrounded by a zillion stuffed dogs; Sean is making his train go up and down and up and down and up and down a particular bridge. I love watching their faces in concentration, figuring something out, creating something.

In those precious quiet moments, everyone is doing their work, pursuing their values. Together, yet apart. A group of individuals. Oh, I could drink them in, those moments.


5. Homeschooling

I am so so so glad that Brendan and I have been able to swing things so that our kids are not in school. I am super grateful to those homeschoolers who had to struggle with legal issues in the past so that I don't have to (yet?). I truly think that this is one of the greatest things we can do for our family, and I'm super happy that we are able to do it.


What are you grateful for?

Five Star Challenge: Round Two!

Okay, so I think I really will try to keep up and post for five days in a row here. Yesterday, you got to hear about the things I love about myself. Today, you will find out Things My Body Can Do. :D

I know Kelly already wrote her post, but I didn't read it yet. I wonder if we'll have some similar things on the list. I don't see Mel's post but when she puts it up, I'll link it. Who else is participating?


1. I'm bendy.

I am, and pretty much always have been, pretty darn flexible. General flexibility was one of the few things I was good at early on in CrossFit (whereas I'm still struggling for consistent double-unders). I can squat all the way down and stay there while flat on my heels. I have a decent (though not all-the-way) side split. Even at my heaviest, I could always touch my toes.

I don't know if it's all of those years of gymnastics, or some kind of natural bendiness, or maybe the relaxin still floating around in my system (or a combo?), but I'm bendy. Actually, it might be another Super Power. And yes, go where you want to with that information. :)


2. I have freaky monkey-toes.

I never really thought this was special until Kelly convinced me that I'm a freak, but I have tons of dexterity in my toes. More than the usual, I guess. I can grab things off the floor with them. I can cross my pinky over the toe next to it without using my hands. I can put on my Vibrams Five Fingers by just splaying out my toes and sticking them into the shoes.

Can't everyone do that? I thought. Apparently not.


3. I grew and nourished three babies.

Sure, this is something many women can do and have done. But it's still an awesome, awesome thing to have done! I was never one of those women who truly enjoyed being pregnant like some do. I viewed the whole thing as a personal biology/medical experiment. But each time, it was an interesting experience.

The youngest one is still nursing (yes, he's nearing three). Even though I am not fully supporting his growth and health the way I did when he was very very small, he is still getting some of the good stuff.

Bonus thing I'm really BAD at: birthing them. Hooray for safe c-sections!


4. I can lift heavy stuff.

I am stronger today than I ever imagined I could possibly be. I deadlifted 175 pounds last Saturday, for pete's sake! That is something I had never even considered a year ago. The last back squat I did was 125 pounds. A 35 pound kettlebell is nothing to me, nothing!

The cool thing is that I am learning that I will only get STRONGER. And more Bad-Ass. Because one day I WILL get an unassisted pull up (like Lynne, woohoo!). After that, can you even imagine what wonders await me?


5. I'm handy.

No, not in the handy-around-the-house sense. In the I-can-do-stuff-with-my-hands sense.

I have never been particularly artsy or crafty, but I can play three instruments fairly well (piano, flute, and fyfe). In fact, I have a ten-key reach on the piano. Maybe that freaky monkey-toe dexterity is also freaky money-finger dexterity? Hmmm...

Never had any trouble with projects requiring fine-motor skills in my hands (unless it also required, you know, some kind of visual artistic ability, too). I'm finding this to be true as I am learning knitting, too. There's not really any artistic creativity in knitting (thank goodness!), but it does require a fair amount of manual dexterity and even though I'm still new, I am picking it up quickly and really enjoy working with my hands.


So there you have it! What's on your list?

Five Star Challenge

I got this idea from one of my new favorite blogs, The Clothes Make the Girl. Mel is very inspiring to me. We have much in common--we're about the same age, have some similar medical issues going on, and are similarly obsessed with becoming Bad-Ass via paleo and CrossFit. But the reason she's inspiring is because of her attitude, the way she approaches things, including challenges and obstacles.

Oh I am in need of that inspiration. These last few days, the Perfectionism Monster keeps trying to rear its ugly head and scream in my ears about all of the ways in which I do not measure up. And as I've decided to fight the monster--because it's stupid and because listening to it diminishes my ability to be Bad-Ass a great deal--I am going to take the 5 Star Challenge that Mel wrote about on her blog today.

I think the idea is to, over five days, list:

Five things you love about yourself.
Five things your body can do.
Five things you’re grateful for.
Five things that make you happy you’re alive.
Five people (or pets) who you love.

I may not do it in five straight days. I can't commit to that right now. But I'll revisit it from time to time.

So, to start: Five things I love about myself. Here we go!


1. My sense of humor. 

I can be funny and enjoy being funny--in person, in writing, on the spur-of-the-moment, and sometimes after putting a lot of thought and effort into it. I am sometimes the only person who finds my jokes funny, but that's okay, because that's just the first principle of my humor philosophy: Firstly, Amuse Thyself. Usually, though, I get other people to laugh. And THAT is supremely awesome. :D


2. I get shit done. 

Really. I don't mean that I'm 100% productive every single second of the day. But somehow I manage to accomplish quite a bit. It sometimes takes looking back in time over a week or month or months for me to fully appreciate it.

In addition to being a wife and the primary caregiver/homeschool teacher to three kids, I am working hard like peopleguys on ATLOS and Cultivating the Virtues (well, we're kind of on a break but still) and doing cabin stuff and doing much of the household stuff like paying bills and groceries and planning vacations and taking the car in for oil changes. I read and think and talk about parenting and philosophy a lot. I knit and CrossFit and sometimes clean the house.

And I do all of those things with three kids tied behind my back! No small feat. ATLOS especially has been like a part-time job in the last couple of months. I cause things to happen and get shit done.


3. I look on the bright side.

Though I'm not Pollyanna-ish in personality, I do tend to be optimistic (even while planning for contingencies!). I can find the thinnest silver linings--but I find them.

This is not how I started out, though. I started out my adult life thinking I had to be cynical and sarcastic and pessimistic, thinking I had to be surprised by the good things that happen. I'm not sure just how it happened, but sometime in my late 20s that started to change over.

Now I know that bad things sometimes happen, but I don't always expect that things won't work out. I don't fool myself about how things really are, but I don't let myself wallow in expected miseries or try to protect myself from future hurts through sarcasm and cynicism. Not any more. And I am much happier this way. I think this means I've truly accepted the Benevolent Universe Premise. Evil is the exception, not the rule.


4. I think I look pretty decent without makeup.

I don't know, maybe this is a weird one, but it's true. I can't be bothered to wear makeup hardly ever, and when I do, it's not very much at all. Granted, I probably do look better in makeup, but I look just fine without it. But I've got nice skin and naturally pink lips so I generally feel like I don't look hideous. (Note: this does not apply to any sort of post-CrossFit or running time frame.)


5. I have a freaky awesome memory.

Actually, it's my Super Power. I've mentioned this once or twice before maybe, but I can remember birthdays and phone numbers and dates and yes, even social security numbers pretty easily. And once they're in my head, they rarely fall out. Even though I've noticed an age- or pregnancy/motherhood-related slow down, I'm still pretty on it. I am collecting birthdays--my goal is to have a birthday for each day of the year, usually someone I have met in person (or at least know pretty well online). I should add it up and see where I am on that--I think somewhere in the 140s.

I also have lots of poems and Shakespeare passages floating around in my head. I can still do Kubla Khan at the drop of a hat, as well as more obscure little bits of literature, such as the poem at the very beginning of The Great Gatsby (which is admittedly short, but still). And like Mel, I have Jabberwocky in there. When I need a mental exercise, I will go through my repertoire and see if I still remember everything.

In addition to numbers and poems, I apparently notice and remember lots of details about life that pass others by. You remember that? You noticed that? is something I have heard a lot. When I need to go to an unfamiliar part of town, I just stare at a map for a minute or so and then it's in my head. Very handy. I also remember certain concepts I learned in grad school by visualizing the page of the textbook I used to study them.

Like I said: freaky. But it comes in darn useful!


So, those are five things I love about myself. And thanks to Mel for this--her post was great timing for how I've been feeling lately.

If you decide to do this, too, leave me a note in the comments. I'd love to read your list!

A Lesson in Rational Self-Interest

This was just a little incident that happened a few days ago, but I've been mulling it over ever since.

Morgan and Sean were having an altercation. Apparently, Sean was upset enraged over the fact that Morgan did not want to wear the fireman peopleguy hat he was insistent ought to be worn by her at that exact moment.

He was just screaming at her. Screaming and screaming with rage. (He's officially hit the Tumultuous Twos/Threes, right on schedule. Probably there's enough fodder there for an entire blog post unto itself. Suffice it to say, things are much louder around here lately, and it's still new enough that it mostly amuses me.)

"MORGAN! PUT HAT ON! ON, MORGAN! WEAR THE HAT! MORGAN! NOW! AAAGGGGHHHH!"

Well, see, the thing is, she didn't want to.

One thing about our sweetie girl is that she's really naturally very sweet. She hates conflict and loudness and feels sad when other people feel sad. She is one of those people who wants everyone else to be happy and have fun and generally acts as a harmonizing force in groups where there is conflict.

This is a nice quality to have (especially given the temperaments of the other people in the family), and it seems to be a pretty consistent--possibly fundamental--part of her personality. This is one of the myriad ways in which she is exactly like Brendan, who is also one of those easy-going harmonizing types (let's just say that Brendan and I balance each other out nicely, heh). So I don't want her to change it.

However, one of the drawbacks of this quality is that she tends to give in to what others want, sometimes a bit too easily and quickly, in my opinion. I've seen her give in to her older brother over and over and over. I've had to help her stand up to him more times than I can count. Many times, I think she truly doesn't care what happens, and if that's true, then I suppose I don't mind if she gives in. But sometimes I do think she cares and gives in anyway. And not just to Ryan, but to her friends, too.

So a couple of days ago, while Sean was freaking out because Morgan wouldn't wear a fireman peopleguy hat, she kind of sighed and said "Oh all right, Sean. I'll wear the hat." And put it on, looking unhappy. The screaming immediately ceased.

I asked her why she put the hat on and she said "It'll make Sean happy."

"But will it make you happy? Do you actually want to wear the hat?"

"Well, no. Not really." She sounded tired and resigned.

"Well, then don't wear the hat. You need to do what you want. It's okay if you don't put the hat on."


"But he'll be sad!"

"It's okay if he's sad about it. If he is, I'll help him deal with those feelings. He can handle being sad and mad. He'll be okay."

She looked at me a little uncertainly and then removed the hat. And the shrieking resumed! Seriously, it was like a water faucet: Hat On/Screaming Off; Hat Off/Screaming On.

I comforted Sean and told him: "Morgan doesn't want to wear the fireman hat right now." and "It's okay to be mad about it." and "No, she's all done with the hat." and "You feel sad that Morgan doesn't want to wear the hat." All my usual empathizing-with-Big-Toddler-Feelings stuff. I held him (and held him back because he was waving the hat and trying to run at Morgan and put it on her head--dude is persistent!) and hugged him and patted his little back.

Morgan imitated me: "No, Sean, I don't want to wear the hat now, but maybe I will later!" Because she wanted to give him hope I think. Harmonizer Kid.

The new fit blew over fairly quickly (Sean's M.O. at least for now) and we all resumed our activities.

I think this was a self-interest WIN because I think sometimes she errs into altruism for the sake of harmony (or peace and quiet). Like I said, there's nothing wrong with preferring harmony to discord I don't think, but I do want to see her learn how to do what she wants and not always give in to the demands of others.

Because one day, she'll want to buy a car and have an encounter with a high-pressure sales guy. Because one day, she'll need to say to a co-worker or boss or a classmate or a neighbor: "I really can't take on one more project right now." Because one day, she'll want to say to some guy "No, I don't want to have sex with you."

And it was a good experience for Sean, too--he got to see Morgan doing what she wanted and learn that she gets to do what she wants, he found out that Mom and Morgan will empathize with him and be understanding about his Big Feelings, and maybe, just maybe, he understood just a teeny bit more about the fact that no, he really isn't in control of everyone's personal business around here (that's me, of course!).

Learning to say NO and learning to take NO for an answer--sometimes it starts with a fireman hat.