Rational Jenn

On Perspective, Owning Small Businesses, and Procrastination

2012-01-30T09:17:00.002-05:00

Among the lessons I have learned in the past week:

Never surprise your mortgage company with surprising information.

Oh, and don't be surprised if your mortgage company pretends that you have surprised them with surprising information that you have completely, fully, and honestly disclosed since, you know, the first day you ever called them up to inquire about a mortgage.

Corollaries to these lessons:

Do not put an offer on a home in January because then everyone will want your taxes for the prior year signed, sealed, and delivered before it's actually humanly possible.

Also, do not be foolish enough to own a small business (let alone TWO), and then put in an offer on a home in January, because then everyone will want your taxes for both businesses for the prior year signed, sealed, and delivered before it's actually humanly possible.

Consider not owning small businesses in the future, as owning such will cause mortgage companies to act all surprised that you have the nerve to do this, even though you were certainly completely, fully, and honestly upfront about the owning of such entities from the very first day you ever called them up to inquire about a mortgage.

Also, perspective is a lovely thing. Struggling with mortgage companies and dealing with the possibility that your house deal might not go through is difficult and No Fun, but not life-threatening or anything. Life goes on.

Things have calmed down and it looks like we will survive this process and get the house we want. Yay! So now I am looking at a future in which we close in less than a month and move in about six weeks.

If you don't see me for a while, you may assume that I am ~~packing~~ availing myself of non-blogging procrastination opportunities.

In Which I Wade Into It

2012-01-26T15:45:00.001-05:00

Note to non-Objectivist friends and family--if you have questions about this post, ask me about it in person and I'll try to explain. And please feel free to move on by. PLEASE.

Normally, I don't wade into controversies and debates among Objectivists, at least not online. I prefer to discuss such matters in person. It's not that I don't have opinions on recent topics of debate (recent meaning, over the past couple of years). I do. I have lots of opinions about many things, as regular readers of this blog should well be aware. :)

Generally, I choose not to spend my time sharing and/or discussing and/or debating such matters with people on the internets. It is not a good use of my time usually. And I am ever-mindful of the fact that non-Objectivist spectators are watching and forming opinions about Objectivists, and Objectivism, based on what they see on the internet. This stresses me out because many of these disagreements turn ugly and are full of accusations and pointless bickering (on both sides, even among those I end up agreeing with). I know newbies and Objectivist-curious folks are turned off by this. Hell, I'm turned off by this.

It just occured to me that one of the reasons I rarely engage in this online stuff is that my day job is full of ugly accusations and pointless bickering already, so I usually get my fill of it. And I have little enough patience for this stuff with my children--but I especially have no patience for this kind of stuff from grownups.

Okay. Here the wading begins. The first thing I will do is point you to Diana's post on the matter, which contains all of the relevant links. If you are aware of this already, you've no doubt read this excellent post.

About watchmen: Here's a post about the role of watchmen in a movement. I need to think about this more, but I don't have a problem with this idea. In fact, if it weren't for excellent posts by other Objectivists, namely Diana and Paul, it would have taken me much longer to understand many of the problems that hit Objectivism just before I read Ayn Rand and while I was in college (specifically, the Branden/Kelley stuff, and Libertarianism). So I appreciate those who have taken the time to help straighten out areas where a lot of people are or could be confused.

Anyone can choose to have a watchman role, and really I think that's awesome. As Burgess writes in his post above:

The responsibility of being watchmen is heavy. It requires diligence in research, thought, and argumentation. It also requires the strength to withstand scrutiny.

I agree. Also, when there are watchmen around, it means those of us who use those people as resources must decide for ourselves whether they are credible as watchmen. Truth be told, and I'm sorry if this is the first Diana knows about this, but it took me a while to consider her a credible resource. It took me lots of time (more on this point in a bit) because, well, maybe I'm slow. It takes me a while to make up my mind about people in general, especially if I only "know" them online. And I don't just believe everything I read on the internet--so take heed, watchers everywhere! I am watching--and thinking about--you. And you do the same to me. ("Judge, and prepare to be judged!")

I think I'd be able to take this new project more seriously if they had brought out some evidence that Diana disagrees with something fundamental to Objectivism. I see nothing fundamental put forth here, in the Diana column, anyway. (There are plenty of fundamentals pointed to under the other tabs, as anyone familiar with Objectivism for any length of time is no doubt already aware.) I've known Diana for a long time now (though we only met in person last year), so I am not expecting any such evidence to come to light.

Matters of disagreement over philosophical or political application are interesting to me, because I often can learn something about the different points of view based on following the discussion. However, unless someone is behaving in a dishonest (not virtuous) way or rude fashion, I find it difficult to get to the point where I must condemn someone's character over our disagreement.

Which brings me to my main point, which Christian mentioned on Facebook:

[The] method of assessing people primarily according to their professed conclusions about issues and people is profoundly anti-intellectual. . . .

As I told my friend Kelly the other day, I am certain that there are Objectivists out there on the internets who would have de-friended Dagny and Hank about 50 pages into Atlas Shrugged for being too dense to figure out their errors already. Someone like Eddie Willers would never even have stood a chance with such Objectivists.

Right?

Yaron Brook repeated this theme at last year's OCON: "Objectivism is HARD." He is correct. I first read this stuff when I was only 18 years old. 23 years later and I'm still working hard to figure things out. In fact, I was WRONG about all kinds of things for a long, long time. Thank the gods that the internets weren't really around back then, lest I be smote for my ignorance or wrongness. In fact, my first forays into internet Objectivism--the old usenet groups--turned me away from even trying to find Objectivists in real life for YEARS because people were so ugly to those who were new and/or confused.

There's a difference between being wrong about something and being immoral. What I mean is, holding a wrong conclusion (or even many) is not necessarily immoral, or even damaging to the movement especially when you are open to discussing (not debating--I refer you here if you'd like to learn the difference between a discussion and a debate) the premises and arguments around the issue.

And because Objectivism is hard, it takes lots of thinking and lots of time to figure things out, even if you are already basically a moral person. And until you figure things out, you might be holding a wrong premise or conclusion or two. (And even then, once you think you've got X figured out, then suddenly you realize that Y needs addressing, and oh no--what about the implications of Z?, etc. It's an ongoing process, the thinking.)

How long did it take Hank and Dagny to figure it out? As I recall, most of that enormous book. Poor Eddie never quite got there. (I like to think he might have, if he'd had a bit more time.)

Note: I'm not referring to any particular area of disagreement I have with Diana--or anyone--here. It's merely a commentary on how many people confuse being wrong with being immoral.

I'm still thinking through what I think about this whole new controversy. Probably there is more I can add, but I think I'll stick to one last thing. This seems a huge waste of time and resources, given the enormity of what we all would like to accomplish.

And now, I'll climb out of the muck, clean up, dry off, and get back to work.

Size 6 is the New Plus-Size

2012-01-24T11:24:00.001-05:00

Sheesh already. The video really says it all:

I am someone who has always struggled with body image and weight and have, at the age of 41, only just now fixed some of the errors I've made, inside my head and outside. As someone who has been plus-size in the past, it's just hysterical to me that, in some circles, size 6 is now considered plus-size. Even with vanity sizing running rampant, that's what--a old size 8 or 10? Sheesh.

I will never be "skinny," not by these standards. And screw these standards anyway. They aren't mine. I will be--and already am even though I still have some fat to lose--healthy and strong. I think I will be focusing more on my lifting numbers instead scale numbers or that useless, pointless BMI number. (Lifting numbers are more fun to pay attention to anyway--did you know I recently did a 115# clean and jerk? And I've got more in me, too!)

And I plan to keep taking my kids with me to CrossFit semi-regularly, so they will get to see lots of good examples of what the healthy bodies of real people can and do look like.

H/T Crystal

In Which I State Something Vitally Important

2012-01-23T17:31:00.000-05:00

To Whom It May Concern:

The principal members of the Atlanta Objectivist Society (ATLOS) would like you to be aware that we do not advocate the eating of babies, even deliciously adorable ones with smooth skin and squeezable cheeks and beautiful smiles.

We would also like to make it plain that we do not automatically sanction every utterance someone makes at any of our events. We expect those who hear something they do not like or disagree with to seek out the individual in question and gather more information as necessary and sufficient to support making an independent decision about that individual's claims or character. We especially expect people to do that because we pride ourselves on our crazy senses of humor and are as likely as not to make outrageous and inappropriate jokes on a regular basis.

Sincerely,

The Management

Brain Dump

2012-01-23T11:49:00.000-05:00

I have no clear idea about what I'm going to write. I think you need to know this going in.

The other morning on the way home from CrossFit, I caught the end of a local morning show on the radio. To my pleasant surprise, they were talking about homeschooling, and the discussion was generally very favorable. Everyone seemed to think there were lots of ways for homeschooled kids to meet up and hang out with other kids (and there are).

Unfortunately, the people in the discussion irritated me a lot by providing a good deal of misinformation about the legal requirements here in Georgia. Did they not have an intern look this up before the show? The male host incorrectly stated that we need to get "approval" or "permission" from the state to homeschool, including approval of our curriculum. When one of the others in the discussion challenged him on this, he got a bit defensive. There was some other misinformation, too.

Please note: In Georgia, we do not beg permission nor seek approval from the state or school board to homeschool. We inform them that we are doing so. There is no approval process, nor can they deny you. You inform; they file a piece of paperwork. For more information about the actual laws about homeschooling in Georgia, visit the HEIR website.

Some parenting articles I've enjoyed recently:

"Don't Carpe Diem," because THIS:

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

I try to carpe diem all the time, but not at all in the appreciate every single thing because you'll miss it when it's over way. I think that even when you are carpe-ing the diem, you should be doing that according to your values. I do NOT carpe the diem over temper tantrums (unless they are kind of funny or cute) or epic battles with my 9 year old. I do NOT carpe the diem about mounds of laundry or stepping on LEGOs.

I DO carpe the diem all the time--I appreciate the important moments, small and big, and try to pause and appreciate them for what they are. But there's no way I can carpe diem every single moment--it's just impossible and would take up too much energy, for one thing. And for another, it doesn't make sense to me. Hierarchy of values. It's a good thing to have.

Along this line, I enjoyed this post by Kim: "Embracing the Changes." I am enjoying each age and stage of each of my kids. Knowing that Sean is the third and final installment of The Offspring Trilogy, I was worried I'd sort of mourn each time he moved on to something new. And I don't. In fact, I'm celebrating each new stage of his development with as much energy and enthusiasm as I did the other two kids--maybe even a little bit more because, at least right now, each stage he reaches generally means that my life becomes just a bit easier.

Another good parenting article: "To the Mother with Only One Child."

Dear mother of only one child, don’t blame yourself for thinking that your life is hard. You’re suffering now because you’re turning into a new woman, a woman who is never allowed to be alone. For what? Only so that you can become strong enough to be a woman who will be left.

When I had only one child, she was so heavy. Now I can see that children are as light as air. They float past you, nudging against you like balloons as they ascend.

I completely agree with this feeling. When it was just Ryan, he felt heavy and I felt burdened and overwhelmed. I am busier with three, yes, but I am freer and lighter and calmer and better. Can I just say that I love being a Mommy?

One more and that will end my brain dump for today. Katie Granju has a new post called "Right or Wrong: I Don't Know How I Did It" up at Babble.

But I remember very, very clearly how it felt in the beginning to believe with every fiber of my being that my children would pretty much automatically grow into the right kinds of teenagers, and then into superlative adults who would serve as a public reflection of my own stellar success as their mother. After all, that’s how it had worked for pretty much everyone else in my family. None of us grew up to be drug addicts or dropouts or to go to jail. So I would simply follow the same general parenting blueprint as my own parents and grandparents, and just as it worked for them, it would work for me.

That’s what I believed, and intended to do. And frankly, in hindsight, I was delusionally confident that my outcome-based parenting would generally work out just as I planned.

I know I've talked about this and probably written about it too--parenting is a very important endeavor, but it is a process not an outcome. How you choose to handle parenting situations matters--it matters to your kid, but it also matters to you (or should).

But great parenting does not necessarily guarantee that your kid will make great choices in his life. (Damn you, free will!) Being a crappy parent does not necessarily guarantee that your kid will make crappy choices in his life. (I love you, free will!) We all want our kids to grow up and be happy and well-adjusted productive adults. I think good parenting is conducive to this, but it is not sufficient.

Which is scary to consider, especially if you are a Type A person like me who likes to be in complete control and have all your bases covered to minimize every single risk ever. It is scary, terrifying really, to think that my precious babies could decide to make horrible life-ending choices like Katie's son did. But I know that is a possibility.

And I also know that it's a possibility they'll make good or great or mediocre choices in their lives too--and when the outcomes of those choices of theirs are good, then I cannot be the one to take credit for those outcomes.

What I can take credit (or blame) for is doing my very best to get them launched out into the world while living as virtuous a life as I could each and every single day. I can take credit (or blame) for handling each parenting challenge in a certain way, for handling MYSELF in each parenting challenge, I should say.

Basically, I strive to handle each parenting challenge according to my parenting principles and to be as virtuous as I can be, and to fix mistakes if I make them (including taking measures to prevent future similar mistakes).

And no matter what they decide to do with their lives when they are older, I will be able to say that I did my very, very best. Because, important as they are, what matters to me even more is how I live MY life, whether I can look myself in the mirror. And that is selfish parenting, I think.

ATLOSCon Speaker Proposals!

2012-01-19T14:12:00.000-05:00

Hey! Were you thinking of giving a presentation at this year's ATLOSCon? Well then now is the time to think a bit harder about this and send us your proposal!

Here's the announcement we just sent out to our group:

ATLOSCon 2012 Request for Speaker Proposals!

We at the Atlanta Objectivist Society (ATLOS) are working hard on preparations for our third regional conference to be held May 24-27, 2012 in the Atlanta area. Our first two conferences set the bar pretty high for an enjoyable combination of social events and interesting presentations. And this year, we are striving to do even better.

If you are interested in becoming an ATLOSCon Speaker, please read the following carefully (and note the deadlines!).

WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR

A wide-range of topics--philosophy, art, science, cooking, fly-fishing, whatever you are passionate about!

Knowledgeable speakers who are passionate about their topics--many of our best speakers the last two years did not have official credentials, but they knew their subjects well and presented them with flair. And we love our credentialed speakers as well!

Interactive presentations--we love to get our audiences really involved in the presentations (and their feedback shows that they love it too!), so discussion groups, panel-led presentations, interactive exercises, demonstrations, and tours are all very much encouraged.

THE PROPOSAL

The proposals are due by February 1! Send them to atloscon@gmail.com.

Proposals should follow the following format and be no more than one page long (<--NOT optional!! Don’t make us send it back to you for a revision! Kelly is an English instructor and is very practiced at that!):

Working Title for your presentation

Which format (discussion, interactive, lecture, etc) your presentation will be in and why

A ONE PARAGRAPH summary of your topic and a few of the main points you plan to cover--this does not have to be a long detailed outline of every point, just give us a good idea of what your topic will be about

A brief biography, including why you are interested in this topic and prior speaking experience if applicable (note: not having tons of speaking experience will not automatically disqualify you from speaking--we are planning speaker support sessions after we’ve selected the speakers, and this will help us know how much and which types of support we can plan to provide)

We will make decisions about the presentations by mid-February. We are anticipating that we will receive more proposals than we can accommodate at the conference, so there are no guarantees that your proposal will be accepted. But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? And, maybe, just maybe, you will be one of the chosen: the few, the proud, the unpaid but much beloved!

WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU?

ATLOSCon is our Objectivist club’s primary fundraiser and is strictly a volunteer-run conference. It helps to fund activism, social events to connect Objectivists, and educational experiences. But never fear! That doesn’t mean we rely on altruism! There are many selfish reasons to participate as a speaker. Speaking at a regional mini-conference means:

Getting some great speaking experience (and a resume/CV line!)

Sharing your area of interest with others who might love it, too

Meeting and hanging out with like-minded people

Doing your part to change the culture

Supporting an active and vibrant community Objectivist group

Fighting for the future while doing something to create the world you want TODAY

Becoming famous! (well, maybe just a little)

Looking forward to your proposals! Don’t forget to get them in by FEBRUARY 1!

This is going to be FUN! :D

--Kelly and Jenn and all of the ATLOS Peopleguys

Thursday Already?!?!?!

2012-01-19T09:49:00.001-05:00

Sheesh.

Since last we met, this intrepid blogger has managed to get all of the paperwork to the mortgage company (minus one last thing I'm waiting for a copy of), exchanged a dozen emails with the realtor about the new house, nearly completed the books for the cabin business, balanced all the checkbooks, attended four sessions of my new CrossFit training program (to be henceforth referred to as "CrossFit Badass," thanks, Kelly!), chauffeured various children to various activities as per our usual routine, danced and sang like a crazy person at a showing of Mamma Mia! at a friend's house, went to the first ATLOS Happy Hour of 2012, and even managed to visit the grocery store once or twice.

I. am. busy.

And tired. CrossFit Badass is taking a lot out of me. I was told to expect this at the beginning, and I was not misled. I'm enjoying it a lot, and trying to figure out how to pace myself while I adjust to the increased volume and frequency. And I also have to adjust to getting in to the gym at 6am (OMG YES! 6-FREAKING-AM!!!!) three (OMG YES! THREE!!!!) days a week, because that's the only way I can participate in CrossFit Badass and still make sure these kids around here have adequate adult supervision at all times. Totally worth it. I think.

Our contract on the new house was binding as of Tuesday, so barring any kind of underwriting disaster (which I'm now officially worrying about because, you know, I have to worry about something), it looks like we will indeed be closing at the end of February. This is a fact that my brain has accepted, but my mind and whole self--notsomuch. But it's really happening. Less than six weeks away!

Is it any wonder I've begun procrastinating packing already? I am actually planning to begin packing today because I inherited some moving boxes from a friend of mine who recently moved and this seems like as good a reason as any to get started. And oh! I can't WAIT to get rid of lots of stuff, too. This is a decluttering opportunity of a lifetime!

We are excited about the move, but many of us have mixed feelings about it. And it will be bittersweet. I have lived in this actual house for nearly 13.5 years--the longest I've ever lived in one dwelling in my entire life. (The previous record was 5 years.) The younger two don't seem to care too much (and Sean has no real idea of what's going on at all, I don't think, and it's strange to know that he'll have few, if any, memories of his first home).

But Ryan is feeling this, and it's been difficult sometimes. Though he perked up a bit yesterday when I mentioned that we will be living right in an area where there were for certain Union and Confederate troops walking around all over the place, and even shooting at each other some. There is a small battle/skirmish marker is just around the corner from the new place. So I suspect he'll be resurrecting his metal detector in short order once we're there for good. :)

So I hope to be blogging a bit more regularly soon. I have ever so many great blog post ideas, I really do.

What's new with you? :)

Friday Already?

2012-01-13T10:58:00.000-05:00

Oh wow, how did it get to be Friday ALREADY?!?!?!

I have tons of things I'd like to blog about, but I am in mortgage application paperwork hell (which level did Dante put that on, does anyone know?) and we are nearing the end of the 10 day due diligence period on the home we hope to purchase.

The inspection came out fine, though I am learning all about lead and asbestos and wondering how in the world anyone survived before the year 1979. Probably I have permanent damage simply due to the fact I was born in 1970 and absolutely had no alternative but to live in dwellings constructed before 1979.

But this is all progress toward the goal, and I'm feeling pretty good. And we are doing our tax stuff THIS WEEKEND (right, Brendan?) which will help accomplish another 2012 goal (and hopefully garner us an early refund check to help pay for all of this house business). And I'm starting the new CrossFit program at my gym tomorrow, which is ANOTHER goal. Did I mention I started a new knitting project, too?

Little by little, across many fronts, I'm getting there. I hope I'll have more blogging time next week. Have a great weekend!

Progress on My Goals

2012-01-09T09:09:00.001-05:00

Well, 2012 is off to an incredible start! And by incredible, I of course mean ohmygod what have we done?

On Saturday afternoon, we learned that we have a contract on a house! We began the process of looking at homes with a realtor two weeks ago today, and now we have a contract on an amazing home that we are really excited about. It's not perfect, but it does match most of our wants and needs very well (and then some).

It's in the next town over, same county, so really not too much will change for us other than location and grocery store. Brendan's commute might be about the same--we'd looked in areas of town farther east to see if we could help him with that (for this and future jobs), but he is willing to keep driving a bit if we get this house. It's that awesome. (If you want, email me and I'll send you a link with some pics--I don't want to post the link on the blog for many reasons.)

The wheels are in motion--today I will get the rest of the mortgage process rolling and start gathering our paperwork for that (we were pre-approved, so now it's just gathering documentation). And tomorrow is the home inspection. I'm REALLY hoping nothing too crazy turns up. The home looks well-cared-for, but you never know what the real home inspector peopleguy will find. We'll go over there to be present for much of the inspection, and I'll take some room measurements, too!

I am very excited, and Brendan is very excited. The kids are somewhat excited, depending on who you talk to. Sean is absolutely clueless. :) But we are also sorry to leave this house, our home of 13 years. It will be a bittersweet change, but for me, a very, very welcome change. And we still have a couple of months before we'll need to leave (thank goodness, because I can't even wrap my head around the logistics of that particular challenge right now), so we've got time.

Let's see, what else? Oh! I have been doing my running/sprinting plan, too. I started off with a 5K race last week, and yesterday I went to a local park and ran some sprints (one minute on, 3 minutes walking rest, 5 rounds). I did not enjoy the sprints at all, especially in the drizzly rain, but I comforted myself with the knowledge that I was only actually running for 5 actual minutes, which sounds a lot better than the 35 minutes it took for me to run the 5K.

And I've been tightening up my diet quite a bit this week--though I have a few more notches to tighten (we celebrated getting our home contract with fancy scotch and manhattans on Saturday night, for example). I don't know if it's the combination diet-tightening/running-sprinting, or the stress of buying a home, or just mere coincidence, but I have lost two pounds. So that's something. And I know I was in high school the last time I weighed this much. So that's something else. :)

So yeah. Kicking butt and taking names, and it's only the 9th of January. Bring it, 2012!

UPDATE: I created a Snapfish album with house pictures if you're interested. Just email me for the link.

Objectivist Round Up #234

2012-01-05T15:29:00.000-05:00

I'm pleased to be hosting the very first round up of 2012!

This week, we Objectivists are mourning the loss of one of our favorite people, Dr. John David Lewis. I didn't know him personally, but I got to hear him speak last summer at OCON. It was memorable, one of the best talks I saw when I was there.

When the Tea Party movement was just kicking off, Dr. Lewis gave a speech in Charlotte, NC. The text of this speech can be found at The Objective Standard. It's well worth reading. I can't find a link to the video, but it's worth watching because his delivery of the speech is captivating and rousing.

And I will always like him because he posed with Flat Ryan a couple years ago. :) I like to think that one day Ryan will know how special this picture is:

To me, Dr. Lewis and many of my fellow Objectivists embody Ayn Rand's statement that "Those who fight for the future live in it today." I think the best way we can honor his memory is to continue fighting for the world we want, and by doing so, create it all around us in big and small ways today.

And now, on to the carnival!

Earl Parson presents Lou Kahn + Some Thoughts on Drawing posted at Creatures of Prometheus, saying, "This is a nice little piece of writing I did back in June, about one of the things I love about what I do."

Frank McKay presents Importance of Mathematics posted at Frank's Objectivist blog, saying, "This blog post is about the importance of mathematics is modern technology."

Darius Cooper presents Raise taxes please! posted at Practice Good Theory, saying, "Cutting the payroll tax and extending unemployment insurance and bad ideas. We need to cut spending instead."

Trey Givens presents Announcing Trey's Theme for 2012: Adventure! posted at Trey Givens, saying, "My theme for 2012 is Adventure! (tm) I guess you don't have to read the blog post now that I went ahead and told you what the theme is. Of course, had I thought of that I might have picked a new title for the post as well.

hmmm...

Well, you should still read the post because it talks about some of the adventures I'm thinking of going on this year. You can even suggest other fun adventures! 2012 is going to be like Jurassic Park but with Shaun White making several cameo appearances. WOOHOO!"

Jason Stotts presents Best of 2011 posted at Erosophia, saying, "My favorite posts from 2011."

Gene Palmisano presents Misnomer of the Day posted at The Metaphysical Lunch, saying, "More fodder for the beguiled."

C.W. presents Process of Leaving the Euro Currency Block posted at Krazy Economy, saying, "The problems in Europe could have significant downside for us for many reasons. This one, if a country were to stop using the euro, would have many consequences, not just economic."

Ari Armstrong presents December 2011 In Review posted at Free Colorado, saying, "My December was quite busy, with articles about gun statistics, speech-chilling campaign laws, abortion rights, and more."

William Green presents 2011 Review posted at Proudly Selfish, saying, "A look back on some of my personal events from 2011"

John Drake presents When Goals Flounder - Review Your Central Purpose posted at Try Reason!, saying, "As the new year roles around, lots of people write well intentioned goals. Unfortunately, many of those goals flounder and die as the year progresses. In this post, I share my own experience with failed goals and how I realized that my problem was with contradictions in my own thinking."

Diana Hsieh presents Rick Santorum Versus Happiness posted at NoodleFood, saying, "Rick Santorum is explicitly opposed to each individual's right to the pursuit of happiness."

Jenn Casey presents Goals for 2012 posted at Rational Jenn saying, "Here are some of my goals and plans for a kick-ass 2012!"

Joseph Kellard presents The American Individualist: The Seed of My Love of Reading posted at The American Individualist, saying, "My love of reading began with what book? Trek back with me to my childhood to find out."

Kelly Elmore presents New Year's and 33rd Birthday Plans for the Future posted at Reepicheep's Coracle saying "This post is about the adventures I plan on having in 2012, mostly professionally and in my hobbies. I make plans for adventures instead of resolutions because it seems so much more fun and less oppressive."

And that's it for this week's edition! The Rule of Reason is next week's host. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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Goals for 2012

2012-01-03T12:21:00.002-05:00

Today we're finally back to our usual routine. Brendan's off at work, and the kids and I need to start really really getting the house back together. But first, coffee! And blogging.

So, we have some big hairy audacious goals for 2012!

House

The biggest goal of 2012 is to buy a new home, move into it, and then fix up and sell our current home. This is nerve-wracking in ever so many ways. The process of looking for a new home, which has begun in earnest, is enormous and time-consuming. Moving? I can barely contemplate it without developing sweaty palms and likely a deer-in-the-headlights expression on my face. And then living with two mortgages until we sell this house (it is a buyer's market, which is great for this plan on the front end, but not so much at the other end). . . I'm pretty sure we can survive this, but will I still have my sense of humor when it's over? Only time will tell.

At the end of this process, whether it takes 6 months or 24, we will have improved our living situation and our financial situation all at the same time. The final piece of our big financial overhaul will be completed. Keeping this in mind helps with the stress. When this is over, we are going to be in better shape than ever!

Family

Our first big family goal is to get a dog! Which will need to wait until at least June for various reasons (including the reason listed below), and ideally, until we move into our new house. But yes, a dog. I've been researching this semi-regularly for the last few months, and I'm leaning toward golden retrievers (and mixes), labs (and mixes), and possibly poodles (and mixes). I love love love golden doodles, but they are kind of pricey. There's a golden retriever rescue here in town, so that's an option, too. The very first step: I need to go to the allergist get another skin prick test for dog--years ago, I came up positive for dog, but it was pretty low. And I know that dog was included in my serum for immunotherapy, which I completed about five years ago, so I'm probably good. But I want to make double-sure.

Our family vacation this year, house- and finances-willing, will be a road trip up to New England for Patriots' Day so we can watch the reenactment of the Battles of Lexington and Concord up in Boston. Ryan's 10th (TENTH!) birthday is April 18, which, as you will recall, is the date of Paul Revere's famous ride, and of course the battles happened on the 19th. We've talked for YEARS about going up to watch this, and we think this should be the year to make it happen. We'll visit my parents in DC on the way there or back, and we definitely want to see Mystic, Connecticut and Williamsburg, Virginia at some point during the trip, too. So you see why I don't want to get a dog until after we're home from this journey.

Homeschooling

We need to do more field trips and really really start up some Peopleguy Tours. This might be the year!

I also want to try making audiobooks part of our driving experience. I'm not sure how that will go over with everyone, but I want to try.

As part of the decluttering process, I will be teaching Ryan how to sell our stuff (pre-approved by me, of course) on eBay. In exchange for his work (I'm envisioning he can learn to do the whole thing, including taking pictures), he'll get a cut of the proceeds. This will help our financial and decluttering goals as well as give him some good job experience.

The older kids will do the Science Fair again if there is one, and keep going to homeschool co-op classes and all of our usual stuff.

Health and Fitness

I'm incorporating regular sprints into my weekly routine as well as semi-regular longer (2-3 mile) runs. This came about because I noticed that whenever I do a bit more running, my weight seems to drop again, and through discussions about this observation with friends and my CrossFit coach, I developed this plan. I'm going to try it for a few months at least and see where it gets me.

I started this already, and ran in a 5K race on January 1. My main goal for this race was to run at a pace where I didn't hate myself and the world. So whenever I started feeling the pressure to keep up with other people and started going faster than I really wanted to, I remembered to slow down and just go at a nice enjoyable pace. And you know what? That was actually fun! And you know what else? I beat my previous record by 35 seconds and finished the race at 35:22! I hope that the last 5K I run in 2012 has an even better time. It should if this sprinting business works the way it's supposed to.

Even before I came up with this new running/sprinting idea, I'd already decided to sign up for as many Kennesaw Grand Prix 5K races as I could (they don't have the 2012 schedule up yet I see). And this will fit in nicely with my new running plan.

Two CrossFit-related goals--well, three maybe. I am trying to work on increasing my weights for the workouts to the prescribed weights for women. I can do Fran with the RX weight, for example, but not other workouts. This is a long-term goal--I have no clue if it's really even feasible for me to get there in 2012. But I'm okay with that. I'm content to see how long it takes me to get there because I'm pretty confident that I can get there. There are some things I won't ever do probably--muscle-ups or climbing the gym rope (I'm scared to death of that). But I can get mostly there. And I might even get a pull up this year. Who knows?

The other CF goal is to maybe, maybe try a scaled/non-whippersnapper (aka "Masters") local competition, just for fun. And to that end, I might be joining our gym in pursuing a different training program geared toward getting people prepped for competition. They swear regular, non-super-athlete people can do it, too, so we'll see. I'm willing to give it a try at least. :D

Diet, of course, is the main factor in weight loss (I really don't have all that much to go, I don't think), and I've already started my post-holiday tightening up of my diet. I really felt AWFUL the day after Christmas, after eating the most amount of crap in a 24 hour period since I started this whole thing in earnest over two years ago. So that was an experience I am glad of. Eating crap = feeling like crap!

I'm going to get my body fat percentage tested in a big old water tank thingy at the end of January, so that should be, uh, interesting.

I will likely give up dairy at some point, maybe after the body fat testing thing, just to see what that does.

And the MAIN thing I'm going to do for my health and fitness: continue to beat down the Perfectionism Monster! I cannot honestly explain how much it continues to plague me, and also how far I've come in conquering it. I need to keep in mind all of the accomplishments I've already done and my context, too--I have a (controlled, but still) thyroid thing. I am at the tail end of weaning Sean, so that is probably doing some interesting hormonal things to my body. I am 41. I am doing the best I can and I have seen results and so the Perfectionism Monster can go suck it.

ATLOS

Get a new lawyer and get our paperwork in. I dropped the ball on this (well, our lawyer did, and then I did) and I don't want to let my ATLOS peeps down.

ATLOSCon 2012! We don't have an official tagline for this one yet, but my current favorite is: We're Badass and We Know It.

Lead a study group for the new transcript of Peikoff's Understanding Objectivism, which is coming out in March. I really really want to do this.

Keep the hiking group going, and other Optional Value Groups

Generally keep going as the best community Objectivist group in the country!

Cultivating the Virtues

Continue plugging away at producing podcasts when Kelly and I have the time. This is so hard because we are both passionate about this project, but our other passions have a tendency to suck up our time. But we'll work on it, likely in the summer when we both will have some extra time. We each have other CtV/Positive Discipline related non-parenting career goals, too. That might sound strange, but we have nothing if not tons of ideas for the future!

Cabin

Take down the Christmas decorations in January 2012.

Decide whether or not to sell the cabin and use that money for other financial goals.

Miscellaneous

Have a Messy Party this year, because we didn't have one last year and that made us all sad.

Go to the beach this year, because we didn't go to one last year and that made us all sad.

Take more pictures of the kids with the real camera, because we hardly took any last year, and that made me sad.

File our personal and business taxes before April 15, because needing an extension and filing in October makes me sad.

Spend lots of time with our wonderful friends and family, because we did that a lot last year and that made us all happy.

Keep knitting, because that helps me stay out of the kitchen at night and not eat stuff I shouldn't be eating, and because I'm getting good at it, and because it makes me happy. This year I'm going to learn cables!

That's a huge ambitious list! And I'll probably add more to it as I think of it. I love having so many big goals--it makes me feel ALIVE and productive and it's really way more interesting than having no goals at all. I have a wonderful life full of good work and good friends and a great family, and basically, I pretty much want to continue on this path forever.

2011 Year in Review

2011-12-30T15:03:00.002-05:00

Overall, what a great year! And maybe this is just a function of getting older, but WOW did it ever go by quickly!

I've been writing these end of the year reviews since 2001, and putting them on my blog since 2005 (I think--I'll have to go back and look). I am so happy that I've taken the time to note down our adventures.

One of the main reasons I started up this blog is so that I can remember things--believe it or not, I have a difficult time remembering what I've written. When people start talking to me about a particular post, it often takes me a few minutes to recall what it was about, and sometimes I can't remember having written it at all! Memory is a crazy thing, isn't it? So I'm glad I blogged in 2011, because I will be using the posts I wrote as a way to jog my memory about the other things that occurred.

The theme this year was CONFERENCES. I attended four, spoke at three of them, traveled out of town for three of them and helped arranged one. Really, that makes me sound kinda professional and fancy. :D

2011: The Year of the Conferences

January

Our New Year was pretty quiet, and then we got lots and lots of snow ALL OF A SUDDEN. It was a respectable snowstorm here in Georgia, finally, and deserving of all of the school and work cancellations.

Sadly, that was the weekend I'd intended to go up to the cabin to remove the holiday decorations. I didn't go, but somehow I thought I'd gone. Whoops.

I did a lot of ranting about Tiger Moms. Good times.

I gave myself two personal challenges for January: a burpee challenge and a declutter drawers challenge. I stuck with them pretty well, though toward the end of the month I skipped some days doing both and then had to play catch up--not fun. I think I'll give myself another challenge in January 2012 and I hope I heed the lessons of January 2011. Because 17+18+19+20 burpees in one day really sucks.

We started planning for ATLOSCon 2011: This Year, We Kinda Know What We're Doing. And it felt good to, you know, kinda know what we were doing.

I got to go to Shakespeare Tavern for the very first time and it was so much fun. Kelly and Aaron are the best! I really need to go again. Oh! I just checked the calendar--Canterbury Tales in May 2012!!!!

I also saw Cake in concert and they were really good.

I wrote a post praising the children's show Blue's Clues, and one of the producers of the show comment on it. That was really pretty awesome. I'm nearly famous!

Our friend Earl was in town briefly, so we got to visit with him a bit.

I kept going to CrossFit in the bitter cold. Still a nervous newbie. Wow, okay, that part feels like a long time ago.

All in all, a very full January!

February

Kelly and I wrote our joint CrossFit post, which got a lot of good response.

I read The Hunger Games trilogy and enjoyed it thoroughly.

Hah! I blogged a Day in the Life. Funny to read that again after all this time.

My in-laws came for a visit, always good times.

Kelly and I started working on our talk for SnowCon in March. We had a new take on some of the ideas we'd learned from Positive Discipline and were very excited about presenting these parenting ideas to people who weren't necessarily parents.

I celebrated George's birthday with a blog post.

I finished more knitting projects and learned how to follow simple patterns, hooray!

I registered for my first ever 5K race in April.

Kind of a leisurely month after the crazy January--but I think I probably needed that.

March

March began in a rough way, with Brendan losing a (young) aunt to cancer. :( He went up to Chicago that first weekend and I stayed home with the kids.

Except when I didn't stay home--I kept the babysitter I had lined up and went to a friend's 40th birthday party and did karaoke for the first time. Good stuff.

The second weekend found me in Denver, all alone without my posse. It was fun, but I remember being stressed and somewhat lost without my kids ~~up my ass every second~~ hanging around me all the time.

And the whole reason I went to Denver was to attend and speak at SnowCon! Kelly and I gave our joint presentation called "Effective Communication: How Objectivists Can Use Positive Discipline Ideas in their Adult Relationships." Which is a long title. Basically, it's about using the communication techniques I (usually) use with and teach my kids with well, everyone! Because we don't parent to teach our kids how to be good kids--we parent to teach them how to be good human beings. The talk went really well and I got a margarita afterward! I also learned that I am a Brand Name Intellectual, so there you go. :P Here, I wrote all about it.

ATLOS celebrated its official one year anniversary on March 16!

Ha, reviewing my blog posts from March reveals several parenting and homeschool challenges that I dealt with, many of them which still ~~plague~~ challenge me today. Say it with me: Parenting is nothing if not repetitive. Parenting is nothing if not repetitive.

For the first time ever, I decided to write about my Perfectionism Monster on the blog because it needs some smacking down. I'm glad I did that, as it helped me make much progress on killing it this year.

At some point this month, it turned into spring. And then I remembered to go up to the cabin and take down the Christmas decorations. Oops.

It was somewhere during March that I started going to CrossFit three times a week on a regular basis, and also stopped being scared of hurting myself when lifting heavy things. And so commenceth Operation Turn Into A Badass.

Miss Morgan turned six years old and that just seems unfair, especially because now she's that much closer to being seven.

April

This was another really really full month, like January and March.

On April 2, I ran in a 5K, I really did! Apart from the fact that these things start REALLY early, I enjoyed the experience (a few friends from homeschool co-op were there, so that made it even more fun). The kids and Brendan--well, it wasn't quite so fun for them, but I was happy to see them clapping at the finish line.

I remember working on ATLOSCon quite a bit.

Then the Atlas Shrugged movie came to Atlanta at the last minute (with a two-week notice, for real) and I did a bunch of organizing and promotion of ATLOS stuff for that (with lots of help from awesome ATLOS peopleguys).

We went to a Seder meal--the first time I've ever been to one. It was very interesting and fun. Ryan and Morgan helped read the readings and I remember feeling relieved that everyone knew how to read out loud pretty well.

Ryan turned NINE, which meant that he is halfway done. (Boy that went fast, and yes, it's very unfair.) We celebrated with a laser tag birthday party. I suspect we'll be having laser tag birthday parties for years to come.

We gave Sean peanuts for the first time and all was well, yay.

We began to contemplate a move to a new home and spent lots of time looking at house on the internet and doing drive-bys. But we ended up staying put for the rest of the year (more on that later).

May

Busy busy busy. I need to schedule months like February more often.

I ran in my second 5K on Mother's Day weekend and actually ran it (as opposed to chit-chatting and half-walking with everyone I knew for the first 15 minutes or so as I did in the first one).

Brendan performed in a charity concert with some friends. That was pretty cool and I wish we could have seen it in person.

I got a snowman from Sean for Mother's Day. I got gifts from the others, too, but the snowman is what stands out because it was so stinking cute.

I made videos for Food Allergy Awareness Week this year. Here's Ryan's. And here's Morgan's.

Brendan's grandfather passed away and this time we all went up to Chicago. We all attended the wake, and then Morgan developed a surprise stomach bug (which, amazingly, nobody else ended up catching, and even more amazingly, didn't cause her to puke once during the long car trip home) the morning of the funeral, so the kids and I stayed home from the funeral. It was nice to see the family, though it was a sad occasion.

Right after the funeral, we all started driving home, with Brendan's mom, stepfather, and brother in the car behind us. Because I'd had made huge arrangements to surprise Brendan for his 40th birthday with tons of friends in Atlanta, and if we left RIGHT AWAY, we'd have just enough time to make it back to Atlanta to go and do it. So we drove home as fast as we could, stopping in southern Indiana for a night, and got back home with about an hour to spare before the babysitter arrived. Brendan's OTHER brother had flown home to Florida from Chicago, and then back up here to attend, too. And the big surprise was going to The Hackensaw Boys concert! It was fun, but wow, what a crazy weekend--in both the fun and not-fun senses of the word crazy.

And THEN ATLOSCon started! I gave three presentations (one solo and two with Kelly) and did some organizer stuff, too. And we had house guests and oh yeah, all the usual kid stuff, too. Fun weekend and I wrote about it here.

Just reading about this month makes me tired. I can't believe I actually lived that.

June

With ATLOSCon over, I think I took a couple of days off. Or ten. I don't remember what we did for the first half of the month other than hang out, go to the pool, go to CrossFit and playdates, etc. I think we all deserved some NOTHING after so many, many, many events all stacked up on top of each other.

But! That was all nice and good, but now it was time for us to start up AGAIN. In mid-June we all drove up to Wisconsin (by way of Chicago) to begin this year's family vacation.

First, my brother got married and Ryan and Morgan were part of the show. It was a really fun wedding and weekend. I loved hanging out with our extended family at one of the bars in town (where kids can drink with parent's permission--go, Wisconsin!). The town is really cute and we all want to go back for a visit one day.

I gave my grandma a scarf I knitted for her. She is one of my knitting inspirations. :D

After the nice weekend with my family, we drove a bit north to spend some time with Brendan's mom and stepdad, who own a second home in the Dells. My parents and grandma joined us for a couple of days and we all . . .

. . . helped Sean celebrate his third birthday! I have no more babies, weep (so unfair)! For his birthday, we took a ride on the Ducks and bought sweatshirts because it's freezing cold in the middle of June in Wisconsin.

Then Brendan flew home, only he got to spend the night in the Madison airport first. Fun!

Then I drove back to Chicago with the kids and my mother-in-law, by way of Mineral Point, where I got to see Pendarvis, home of my Blewett ancestors who came over from Cornwall. (I'm drinking coffee from my Pendarvis coffee mug as I write this post.)

Thus began my solo road trip home with the kids, stopping all the way home with various relations. We went to Purdue for a day and that was fun, too.

I think I decided that we are never, ever doing another road trip ever (but that resolution only lasted a couple of months).

July

The year was halfway over and I have to say, we'd really carpe-d the ever-loving crap out of it so far.

I had a few days of rest and then I was off to Florida for OCON (conference #3)! Oh my goodness--I never really wrote about my OCON experience. Whoops.

I'd never ever been and I'm glad I went. This time, I really didn't miss the kids much and I was able to enjoy myself much more. Maybe not having to give a talk had something to do with that level of stress, too. The only time I really missed my family deeply was during the fireworks show, but I got to spend it with another family with a child, so that helped ease my homesickness a bit.

I loved connecting with friends, new and old, at OCON, and I conquered a severe case of stage fright and walked myself up to the microphone to ask Yaron Brook a question in front of about 300 people. I wonder if anyone there guessed how close I was to fainting or puking.

And then, when I got back, we finally got to have some lazy summer. We went to the pool and hung out with friends and relaxed some. There were no kid activities, and the only thing I did was CrossFit and knit and wrote a few parenting posts.

I think this was the month I started going to CrossFit four times a week. God it was HOT in our CF gym (It's freezing cold nowadays and I'm not sure which is more uncomfortable). I got through the heat by imaging I was a badass Caroline Ingalls on the prairie with no air conditioning and a log cabin to help build.

August

Though we did not make it to the beach this year, August mostly felt like one long vacation for me. I hardly even remember what we did!

Homeschool co-op started back up, and Morgan began gymnastics. She enjoys it a lot and is freakishly flexible.

She also created a Things I Want To Do and Learn list with me. (Still waiting on Ryan to fill his out.)

We participated in Lemonade Freedom Day and it was lots of fun and a great learning experience.

I'm pretty sure August is when we started watching Star Trek: TNG as a family, and Sean became obsessed with the Enterprise D. We are in the middle of Season 5 as of this writing.

The kids REALLY missed going to the beach and have been bugging us about it ever since. As you'll see when I write up our goals for this year, we might not make it there in 2012 either, but we have promised that we can at least go to a Georgia beach for a long weekend or something.

We still hadn't made up our minds about moving to a new home, so we put the decision on hold for a while.

September

We drove up to Chicago AGAIN, this time for the Chicago Objectivist Society MiniCon, the fourth and final conference of The Year of the Conferences. This time I was giving the Effective Communication talk solo, as Kelly chose to stay here and go to Dragon*Con (which, I believe, was a difficult and agonizing choice for her to have to make). The talk itself went well, I made my main points and didn't trip over myself or anything, but I only had an hour to present 2+ hours of material, so it felt rushed and crammed to me. Kelly and I have since decided not to whittle down talks to fit time frames any more. Next time, we'll simply create a new talk to fit the time frame!

This conference (oh look, here's a blog post) felt like a mini-vacation to me because we left the kids with my in-laws all weekend (oh hooray hooray hooray for them!) and Brendan and I stayed in the city. It was a nice early anniversary celebration.

When we got back home, we vowed never to drive anywhere again.

We were crazybusy with kid activities and homeschool co-op and museum trips and visits with friends and our usual lives, too. I took time to write a general kid update, a snapshot in time of who they are and how they do so I can remember these days.

Somehow, I'd made it a whole year at CrossFit, hooray! I am more badass than ever, and that's saying something. :D

Ryan and I both survived our first experience with standardized testing. Not a small feat.

Morgan got moved up a level in gymnastics and was invited to join a special class for kids who might end up on the team track at some point. So now she's going to gymnastics twice a week.

October

We visited an apple orchard up in Ellijay with friends and it is totally worth going to see in person because it has the most unintentionally funny-in-a-horrific-way tour of nursery rhymes. It's hard to explain. But next time you visit, we will go see it. Because OMG.

Having made lots of steady progress in the fitness/health front, I got to buy a whole new fall/winter wardrobe AGAIN.

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law were visiting Asheville, NC, which is practically next door to Atlanta, as you know. So one day during their vacation, we all met up for an afternoon somewhere in North Georgia. It was fun.

Brendan, Ryan and I took a shooting class. Now THAT was fun.

Oh yeah, Sean finished up potty training this month, and I have to say that (barring any regressions that may lie ahead) it was the easiest of the three. He is even dry most nights, which is quite an accomplishment at three, I think!

After a summer-related hiatus from knitting (I know--summer is the best time to knit Christmas gifts, and yet I don't want to knit when it's hot out), I got my knitting mojo back in a big way. And wrote about my two favorite hobbies and why they're similar.

We opted for a small Halloween extravaganza this year--just us and Kelly's daughter. Best. Decision. Ever.

November

Even though it was only last month, I can't seem to remember what we did. Funny.

ATLOS hosted a talk by Andy Bernstein, which we were able to do because our conference was so successful last summer.

My parents came for a visit and we all went up to the cabin for a day to decorate it for Christmas. I'm optimistic about my chances for de-decorating before March of 2012.

I turned 41! I have to say that so far, the 40s are AWESOME. The Decade of Awesome, I'm calling this.

After a few months of not running in 5K races, I decided to run in one on Thanksgiving morning. I didn't PR, but only by about 45 seconds, and considering this one had lots of hills, I was pretty pumped with how I did.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving, just us and a few friends over, and I made a yummy yummy dinner.

We watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies with the whole fam. It was a huge hit, and Morgan is as likely to draw you a picture of the Great Eye as she is a dog these days.

The older kids discovered something called Minecraft, and haven't come up for air since.

What else? Well, the "should we get a new house" conversation started up again in earnest, so that's something. And all of the usual kid activity, book reading, co-op, museum trips, hanging out, arguing, knitting, not cleaning the house, etc.

December

The first weekend of December was another travel weekend for me and Ryan. My cousin got married in Arizona, and Ryan was my date to the wedding. It was a fun wedding, and great to spend a lot of one-on-one special time with him. The other kids had a great time with Brendan, too.

I went for a run one morning in Arizona and didn't hate it. Yes, this is noteworthy.

My brother-in-law came to visit during the second weekend and we all had a great time with him. As usual.

ATLOS had a holiday party on the third weekend and it was awesome. I dressed up fancy (which is not something I tend to do) and was introduced to the wonderful cocktail that is a Manhattan. I've had them before, so I suppose it wasn't a true introduction, but somehow it never really stuck. This time, it did.

The fourth weekend of December brought Christmas, and I got a lamp so I can see while I knit, a Glock (oh yes!), and the complete AbFab series on DVD.

We also decided to really really buy a house and this last week of December, including the very last day of the year, has been full of home research and driving by properties and looking at properties with a realtor. I'm ready to move forward with this and now is a great time to buy. We are hoping to get into a comparable or larger home on more land and out of an HOA (not that ours is terrible, but we have some restrictions that we no longer want to deal with). I'm nervous about the whole thing, but this is a good decision for us right now. So probably I'll be ~~bitching~~ writing about this on the blog a whole lot next year.

And whew! That about wraps up 2011. I don't really expect anyone to read this kind of post thoroughly, but if you did and made it to the end, great! And hello from me! And thanks!

Stay tuned for a post soon about my goals for 2012. Hint: there will be a new house (I hope) and even: A DOG.

Happy New Year to everyone! I hope your 2011 has been as awesome as mine, and I wish you an even more spectacular 2012 full of love and laughter and hard work and accomplishment.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T12:38:00.001-05:00

Because I never got organized enough to get Christmas cards together, I figure I can at least put some pictures of our Christmas (so far) up.

The Battle of Christmas Town

A beautiful sibling moment. Beautiful because it was genuine and because this is somewhat rare.

Night vision goggles. He also got a lie detector kit. We are in big trouble.

He has been playing with this for hours. Literally. He still has about 20 gifts yet to unwrap as of this writing. The best part is that he sings the song and makes the bird noises. I got it on video. :D

Guitar lesson on her shiny new blue guitar!

I may add more pictures throughout the day.

Merry Christmas to you and yours! Hope your day is as awesome as ours has been.

Objectivist Round Up #232

2011-12-22T10:15:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the December 22, 2011 edition of the Objectivist Round Up!

It's almost Christmas! Are you getting excited? I tell you, my kids are about to EXPLODE with excitement (and cuteness) all over the place.

I used to be kind of a Bah Humbug about the holidays, but now it's one of my favorite times of the year. I love the lights and the decorations and Good Will Toward Men and the food and, of course, presents! And it's lots of fun to celebrate the holidays with kids, because let's face it--they get all the cool stuff. I'm very much looking forward to playing with their toys on Christmas morning. :D

So here's a relevant quotation from Ayn Rand on the holiday season (via the online Ayn Rand Lexicon). And yes, Jason quoted this last week, but it's so good it bears repetition, I think (emphasis is mine):

[In answer to the question of whether it is appropriate for an atheist to celebrate Christmas:]

Yes, of course. A national holiday, in this country, cannot have an exclusively religious meaning. The secular meaning of the Christmas holiday is wider than the tenets of any particular religion: it is good will toward men—a frame of mind which is not the exclusive property (though it is supposed to be part, but is a largely unobserved part) of the Christian religion.

The charming aspect of Christmas is the fact that it expresses good will in a cheerful, happy, benevolent, non-sacrificial way. One says: “Merry Christmas”—not “Weep and Repent.” And the good will is expressed in a material, earthly form—by giving presents to one’s friends, or by sending them cards in token of remembrance . . . .

The best aspect of Christmas is the aspect usually decried by the mystics: the fact that Christmas has been commercialized. The gift-buying . . . stimulates an enormous outpouring of ingenuity in the creation of products devoted to a single purpose: to give men pleasure. And the street decorations put up by department stores and other institutions—the Christmas trees, the winking lights, the glittering colors—provide the city with a spectacular display, which only “commercial greed” could afford to give us. One would have to be terribly depressed to resist the wonderful gaiety of that spectacle.

The Objectivist Calendar, Dec. 1976

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah with your loved ones! And I really hope you get lots of cool stuff.

And now, on to the rest of the carnival:

Ross England presents My (Atheist) Wedding Ceremony posted at Think Twice, saying, "I describe the path my fiancee and I took to figuring out a very satisfactory plan for our wedding ceremony."

Jenn Casey presents Perfectionism and Homeschooling posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "On homeschooling a perfectionist kid, and the value of letting kids make their own decisions about their values."

Santiago and Kelly Valenzuela presents US Builds Sea Fence to Keep Out Migrant Workers from the South posted at Mother of Exiles, saying, "US builds a multi-million dollar sea fence to keep out job seekers."

Gene Palmisano presents A Christmas Anecdote From the Tipi Wind Ranch posted at The Metaphysical Lunch, saying, "From ou ranch to yours, Merry Christmas, or Happy Holiday or Happy Pagan Ritual day."

Diana Hsieh presents Noodlecast #111: Testimony on Campaign Finance posted at NoodleFood, saying, "Here's a podcast of the oral testimony on Colorado's campaign finance rules from Ari Armstrong, Paul Hsieh, and me."

Jason Stotts presents Letters posted at Erosophia, saying, "One reader's remarkable story of a marriage gone awry and it's recovery."

Rachel Miner presents Nurturing Self At This Time of Year posted at The Playful Spirit, saying, "I share some thoughts about my Getting Things Done system and how it helps me reconnect with the goal of nurturing self. I'm interested in others' actions too that help them feel nurtured during this cheery time of year."

Ari Armstrong presents Rand's 'We the Living' Opposes Tyranny posted at Free Colorado, saying, "Hannah Krening delivered a short talk about the themes of Ayn Rand's 'We the Living.'"

Paul Hsieh presents Gingrich and Personhood posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "In my latest PJM Oped, I argue that if Newt Gingrich wins the 2012 GOP nomination, it would introduce the controversial "fetal personhood" issue into the presidential race and potentially tip the election to Obama."

Martin Lindeskog presents Morris the Cat: Requiescat in Pace posted at EGO. [I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Martin.]

That concludes this week's edition. Thank you all for participating, reading, and passing this around the internets (hint, hint)!

Stay tuned for the Best of the Year 2011 edition next week at Parenting Is. . . ! To participatie, submit your blog article using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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Perfectionism and Homeschooling

2011-12-19T11:40:00.000-05:00

Last week, I had an interesting (and by "interesting," I mean "difficult and heartwrenching") experience with Morgan. It turned out to be a learning experience for me, though I'm still not sure if I handled it well or not.

She's a perfectionist, see, and so am I (well, I'm in recovery). And this is challenging in itself, not because I can't relate, but because part of the perfectionism deal is that you don't really actually care what other people say about it when you're going over the top. At least in mine and Morgan's cases. Getting control over one's control issues needs to come from inside, so no amount of reasonableness from someone else is going to make a huge difference until you're actually ready to listen. (Again, for me--maybe other people are more reasonable than I am/was.)

So she had these assignments for her co-op classes and absolutely lost her mind over one of them. Now, homework in and of itself is a thing we rarely encounter here. She's very self-directed at home, so I don't really give her assignments on a regular basis. And thank goodness, because if I had to battle people frequently over homework . . . well, it would be ugly. (This homework advantage balances out the couple of disadvantages of homeschooling, namely, the fact that they are HERE all the time so it's hard for me to get a break from them and of course the house is always a mess.)

But I digress.

One of these assignments was pretty much done and there were no problems. The other one, though, wow. She was taking a class called Classical Book Club and one of the things they were supposed to do was have a book journal where they wrote about the book they all read for the session (Robin Hood) as well as listed other books they've read. Each time I talked to her about this project during the session, she was hesitant and evasive. I see this now as some sort of Sign.

And honestly, I couldn't really work up a lot of caring about whether she completed this assignment. It's not that I don't see the value in doing this kind of work, but in the grand scheme of things, I wasn't too concerned about her reluctance to do it. For one thing, this is an optional co-op class. And I know the teacher (hello, if you're reading this!) and I knew that the teacher wouldn't be upset if Morgan chose not to do the assignment.

For another thing, Morgan is 6.5 years old. Yes, she is academically gifted, and was probably the youngest kid in the class. But I think what she is capable of reading and comprehending and enjoying far outpaces her capability to produce the kind of assignments that are more appropriate for kids a few years older. I was aware that this class might be a bit beyond her when we signed up for it, but she really wanted to take it, and I figured it would be a good experience. And so it was--just not the experience I'd had in mind!

But Morgan wanted to do this assignment. REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to do this assignment. So I pledged to help her. And thus began a two-hour roller coaster of emotions.

She couldn't figure out where to begin. I gave her suggestions. They were rejected. I gave her better suggestions (ha!). Rejected. I gave her "one small step" she could do to get started (my own personal strategy for when I'm stuck on how to begin something).

She cried, she pounded her fists on her notebook, she yelled "It's not good enough!"

I told her many times that she didn't need to complete the assignment, that it was fine with me if she chose not to do it. Didn't matter. I told her it would probably be fine with her teacher (and it would have been) if she chose not to do it. Didn't matter.

She wanted a ribbon for doing the journal (each kid received a participation certificate, so I don't know where she got the idea she'd get a ribbon). She kept asking me if she'd still get a ribbon if she didn't do the assignment. I had to answer honestly--if that was the deal with the class, then no, she probably wouldn't get a ribbon. Tears. I even told her we could get ribbons at a craft store, if ribbon-having was the thing she was really after. But she wanted that ribbon for doing the assignment, so no deal.

She tried and screamed and tried. And everything she tried was NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Oh it was heartbreaking to watch.

Out of ideas, I finally just gave her some space. And got myself some space, too, because I was getting all keyed up, mostly because I was feeling frustrated that she wasn't even listening to my brilliant ideas, and that she was unable to accept my reassurances. That frustration was creeping into my tone of voice as I was talking to her, and I know that wasn't helping things. And it only took me a little over an hour of this to realize that "giving her some space" was an option! (Sheesh.)

After a while, she came to me, and serenely told me that she'd thought it over and come to a decision. She said "I don't really want a ribbon that badly. I'm choosing to skip the assignment." And all was puppies and rainbows after that.

So what did I learn?

I learned that there may be some early signs she is feeling worried/frustrated/or perfectionist-y about projects or homework assignments. I'll look out for these in the future. What I can do about it, I'm not at all sure, but at least I can prepare myself for the oncoming storm.

I learned to ask about what she thinks she'll get out of assignments. Once the ribbon idea came out, I was able to understand a bit more about why it was more difficult for her to make the decision to skip the assignment.

I learned that I should step out of her perfectionism/frustration/persistence cycle EARLY ON, as early as I realize it's happening, maybe, and certainly when I've reached the frustration point myself. I want to be there and be helpful and supportive, but I think my suggestions and questions were making it worse. It was only when we took a break that she was able to come to her decision. I think maybe what she wants or needs from me is merely a shoulder to cry on. I could be wrong about this--we'll see how this plays out next time. And I'm confident there will be a next time.

I learned that maybe we should start assignments a bit earlier than three days before it's due. Usually we do the assignments pretty close to the due date because sometimes if they do them early, they forget all about it. But maybe that's a Ryan thing. Maybe Morgan needs more time.

I'm glad the decision to complete the assignment was hers and hers alone. I think that part went well. And even though I can't get excited about ribbons per se, that ribbon was really important to her, and she was wrestling with values and the actions she must take to earn those values. In the end, she decided that the ribbon was not a value that was worth this struggle over how to complete this assignment. I think it's okay that it took her a while to figure this out, but I'm glad I stayed completely out of that decision and that it was hers completely. Always good to practice weighing values and making decisions about that, even when it's hard to struggle through in the moment.

I'm glad she took the class. In her calmer moments while the fit was happening, she was able to tell me large chunks of the Robin Hood story. She'd been paying attention and listening and reading her book. She liked the story and enjoyed the class. And that's all that really matters at this point.

So overall, this was good experience for both of us. It's funny how different she and Ryan are from each other. Whatever my struggles with Ryan have been, he is very confident that whatever he produces for his class assignments are nothing short of brilliant and awesome.

And also, I'm glad we're on a break from classes for the holidays! So so so so so so glad.

So How Much Money WAS in Our Coin Jar Anyway?

2011-12-16T15:06:00.002-05:00

So the kids and I visited a Coinstar machine this afternoon, with our enormous coin jar filled with coins. Thank you to everyone who took a guess, and to those of you who suggested I get reimbursed via an Amazon gift certificate as opposed to cash. We went that route and saved the 9.8% fee (YOWZA).

The guesses ranged from "eleventy" to "the median of everyone else's guesses" (I'll be happy to provide you a list, John, if you'd like to calculate that out!) to $7.31 all the way up to $1 Million Dollars (that was Sean's guess and I like to imagine him saying "$1 Million Dollars" ala Dr. Evil).

Okay, so who won? That honor goes to Jeff Yoak, who wrote this on my Google Plus page:

$438.05 . If that turns out to be super-close, I'll provide the statistics that go into the computation. :-) If you threw all change in the bucket and never spent coins (e.q. quarters because they're useful and pennies to round off change that you're getting) that number should be very, very close. I used an estimate of 4.6 pounds for the glass jar empty which is another source of noise, but the rest is computable with the assumptions above. You asked. :-)

I thought that by giving some basic information about our coin jar, there would certainly be someone geeky enough (I mean that as a compliment, Jeff!) to calculate out a guess. If you recall, we had filled up a one gallon glass jar with a probably fairly randomly distributed mix of American coins (as far as I know), and the jar weighed 38.4 pounds all filled up with coins. (I never thought to weigh the jar empty, but I can do that now if anyone wants me to.)

So I hope Jeff decides to share his calculations with us (here, or on OGeeks perhaps?) because here is the exact value of the change in our jar:

$437.92

Jeff was off by 13 CENTS!!!!!

Honorable Mentions go to Sam Kennedy for guessing $412.47, a guy called "bringoutyoudead" on reddit who guessed $458.56, and my brother-in-law for getting $475.17. Not bad at all!

Here's a picture of our receipt showing the amount and the coin distribution, too:

So yeah, I'm pretty amazed that Jeff's guess was so super close! I was more than a little surprised to see that we had SO many quarters, too. I suppose there's a way to figure out if these ratios are representative of the coin population (as it were) in general.

At a Family Conference about a year ago, we all agreed to use the coin jar to fund future family vacations, so that's $437.92 toward our next excursion (likely in the spring). We also have an envelope for bills we find laying around the house that goes toward the vacation fund, too. I'll take an equivalent amount of cash and put it in the envelope so we are all balanced out in that account.

The kids had a GRAND time feeding the Coinstar machine and it was a fun homeschool project, too. Sure, possibly a more valuable homeschool project might have been to ~~run my own little coin-rolling sweat shop~~ have them help me roll the coins by hand, but this was still fun and it took a whole lot less time!

Thanks for playing, everyone! I guess we'll do this again in about a year--only next time I expect LOTS and LOTS of really close guesses if Jeff chooses to share his secret. And if he decides to keep his secret and become a professional coin-guesser, then I'll just be happy to take a cut, since without me he probably never would have taken the time to figure this out, right?

Don't worry, Jeff, my fee is less than Coinstar's. :D

Fitness Progress and Goals

2011-12-15T17:13:00.000-05:00

(This is one of those "for posterity and my own memory" posts. Feel free to move on by, especially because it turned out to be WAY longer and more boring than even I imagined!)

Last night at CrossFit, I was showing someone the iPhone app I use to track my workouts and progress, and I realized it's been a while since I've taken a look at where I am and where I'd like to go.

So last time, I recorded some benchmark lifts:

Power clean : 100 pounds (6/5/2011)
Bench press : 85 pounds (6/11/2011)
Deadlift : 185 pounds (7/5/2011)
Push press : 110 pounds (7/20/2011)
Front squat : 120 pounds (7/25/2011)

And here's where I am now:

Power clean : No change -- I haven't tried for a 1RM on this since June! So hopefully I can try for one soon. I have done lots of power cleans lately, usually around the 75-85 pounds mark, and I'm pretty sure I could surpass 100 now.

Bench press: 90 pounds (12/14/2011) -- this wasn't a test for a maximum (it was part of a 10X2 and I did 90 pounds for the last four rounds) and I'm confident I could go higher, at least one time.

Deadlift : 1RM 200 pounds (8/10/2011) and 5 RM 195 pounds (11/21/2011) -- lots of improvement there. I wonder what my new 1RM would be, since it's been so long since I tried for one.

Push Press : No change -- haven't lifted heavy push presses since that day in July.

Front Squat : No change -- again, haven't revisited these in a while outside of a workout where I'm using lower weights due to more reps.

I have some new lifts to track now, too.

Press : 65 pounds (9/21/2011) for 3 reps. Presses are HARD for me to do. I bet I could get 75 pounds at least now.

Back Squat : Finally got around to doing some recently, 5 rounds of 3. I started too light and only got to 135 pounds, which was a PR. They were relatively easy--I wasn't completely struggling, but I stopped, having hit my five rounds and a PR. (Wasn't that responsible and mature of me?) I'm confident I could get at least 150 or higher on a try for a maximum.

Box Jumps : 20" And that's where I'll stay, as that is not an insignificant percentage of my height and since box jumps freak me out a bit.

Overhead Squat : 75 pounds (9/17/2011) And by the way, those are HARD.

Power Snatch : 75 pounds (9/7/2011) As part of a WOD with lots of repetition, so I bet I could do more if I was going for a max.

I have a couple of benchmark workouts I've done, too.

Fran (all of the "girl" workouts can be found here): Last time, I mentioned I'd done Fran, with the thrusters at the prescribed weight for women (65 pounds) and using the green (second widest) band. I did that back in July in 11:08. I revisited Fran again in November. I did the 65 pound thrusters again (god, they suck) and used red (the thinnest) and blue (the second thinnest) bands on the pull ups (hooray for pull up progress!). My new time: 7:48. So I consider that some good improvement!

Grace: I first encountered Grace (30 clean and jerks for time) in October as part of the Barbells for Boobs fundraiser. I used 65 pounds and my time was 4:02. Grace came up again about a month later and the second time I upgraded to 75 pounds and my time was 3:42.

Cindy: In October, I did Cindy for the first time. My score wasn't all that wonderfully great--11 rounds + thirteen reps. HOWEVER I did not modify the push ups at all. Yep, that's 118 Man Push Ups. So I was pretty proud of that accomplishment.

Diane: In October, I also did a modified Diane (125 pound dead lifts and handstand push ups from a chair) for 4:21. I need to practice HSPUs against the wall. I can do it but I just need more practice.

Running: Apart from upper body stuff in general, running is the thing I really suck at the most. But I did run 400m in 1:57 one time, which for me is pretty much flying. I'll take it.

Goals

Honestly, I look at those numbers up there and can't quite believe that I've really done these things. But I have! It's good to review this progress because I get really frustrated sometimes on the weight loss front. I have recently broken through a plateau (I think). Those stalls are awful, and sometimes last for months. And then it's easy to get discouraged and all why-bother-y. But during all those plateau months, I was lifting and running and doing awesome stuff, yay!

I have a general goal to work up to the prescribed weights for women in most of the CrossFit workouts. I don't know how long it will take me--a year? two? No clue. But I think many of the goals are within my reach, especially if I can get pull ups.

Speaking of pull ups, I'm very close, but I've had to lay off the pull ups lately because I was practicing a lot on my own and my elbow doth protested. It's much better now, but that experience was a reminder that, while still awesomely badass, I'm not 25 any more, and also, REST is an important component to making fitness progress. Duh. I mean, I KNOW this, but I was getting carried away because I'm very close to an actual pull up and that's exciting, you know?

More goals: I'd like to do a CrossFit Total workout as a benchmark. And just today I found this website with weightlifting standards based on body weight and experience level. VERY interesting stuff. Comparing my achievements with these benchmarks puts me firmly in the Novice category overall, and I'm edging up into Intermediate. Granted, this may not be the end-all-be-all, but it's a place to start when figuring out where I want to go and what might be possible.

I'm planning to run in most (if not all) of the Kennesaw Grand Prix 5K races next year. I may have, may have mind you, had a running breatkthrough of sorts and actually enjoyed a run recently. Also, while I haven't been doing chronic cardio by any stretch of the imagination, I have done a couple of runs recently and I'm wonder if that has something to do with my breaking through the latest weight loss plateau. Maybe my body just got confused or something. Also, I have plans with a friend to do a trail run (or two?) soon. I've always wanted to try that because it sounds fun in a hellacious way. Oh! And speaking of hellacious running--I'm hoping to do Run For Your Lives in March! It just sounds too crazy to miss. Who's with me?

On the weight loss front, now that I'm getting close to the end of the weight loss phase of my health improvement plan, I've discovered that I have a problem: I can't figure out what I'm supposed to weigh (and BMI is pretty much useless). So I think I will do the body fat measurement when the water tank dude comes to my CrossFit gym next time. Probably aiming for a reasonable body fat percentage is a better way to think about this than weight anyway. It's just that it's much more convenient to weigh oneself than find a body fat water tank peopleguy. :) I think I'm about 20-30 pounds away from what I should weigh, I think, but I really have no idea. I could be a lot closer, especially because I think I will be on the heavy side of the ideal range because of all of my kick ass muscles. :)

And I guess that's about it for now! I'm pretty much feeling the Most Awesome I Have Ever Felt, and still enjoy doing CrossFit a whole bunch (because why else would I endure a wall ball ladder if I didn't like it at least a little?). It's been nearly two years since I started my health turnaround in earnest, and wow, am I ever glad I did! Two years sounds like a long time, maybe, when you're contemplating such goals, but really, it goes by pretty fast. And now I'm eagerly anticipating what the next two years and beyond will bring!

Enjoy Life Seeds & Fruit Mixes

2011-12-12T09:46:00.000-05:00

A while back, Enjoy Life Foods sent us samples of their two seed and fruit mixes: Beach Bash and Mountain Mambo, and asked us to try them in exchange for an honest blog review. As usual, we were happy to oblige!

It's taken a while to get this review up in part because of the holidays, and also because we videoed our reactions again--and then I lost part of the video. I think one of the kids accidentally deleted something. So this will be a blog-only review, no video this time. :( Thankfully, I took notes!

Let me preface this by saying that my kids have very limited experience with trail mix or any sort of similar snack food. We just don't eat that kind of stuff, mostly due to the peanut allergy. I was interested to try an alternative to traditional trail mix.

First, we tried Beach Bash, which has dried pineapple, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, dried cranberries and dried apricots. It was pretty good, though the kids weren't such a fan of the seeds, and in fact, expressed shock and dismay that the mix is just riddled with them! Basically, they picked out the fruit, especially the pineapple, and ate that. Which, I have to admit, is EXACTLY what I used to do with trail mix when I was a kid.

So Beach Bash has a tropical kind of thing going on, and can I just say HOORAY! Because it's been sooooo long since I've tasted any kind of trail mix ever! Good Stuff.

The next kind we tried was Mountain Mambo, which has sunflower and pumpkin seeds as the base, like Beach Bash, and also has raisins, dried apples, CHOCOLATE CHIPS, and cranberries.

Okay, Mountain Mambo was definitely the favorite at my house. Can you guess why? There's a hint in the previous paragraph. :)

Again, the kids mainly picked around the seeds and went for the sweet stuff. I liked this combination of flavors pretty well, although I can't decide which trail mix I prefer. On one hand, Mountain Mambo has CHOCOLATE CHIPS! On the other, Beach Bash has the yummy pineapple. Personally, I think you should get a bag of each and test it for yourselves.

I think these seed and fruit mixes were our least favorite Enjoy Life product, though, but I suspect that mostly has to do with the fact that there aren't any cookie pieces in the ingredients. Having never eaten anything like trail mix before (try finding peanut-free trail mix on the shelf at a grocery store--impossible!), they had no idea such healthier alternatives to cookies existed. And were understandably confused and disappointed. :)

But for those of us who might want something a little less cookie-ish, and are avoiding the Top 8 allergens as well as gluten (yes, these are gluten-free!), these trail mixes are a good choice. They taste great and would make a yummy snack on a hike.

Just make sure you explain to your kids what trail mix is and that it doesn't actually contain cookies BEFORE you give it to them. :)

How Much?

2011-12-08T09:54:00.000-05:00

Check out our coin jar!

We've been throwing spare change in there for about 13 months or so and it is finally overflowing. So just for fun, I thought I'd ask for your guesses about how much money is in there.

Some specifics: It's a gallon-sized glass jar (I think it's a gallon--see the comparison picture below) and with all the coins in it, it now weighs 38.4 pounds. That's more than Sean weighs!

All of the coins in there are American (maybe a few Canadian snuck in there), including a few Madison dollars, too, because once I went to the Post Office by mistake. (Which is redundant--I think going to the Post Office can generally be considered a mistake.)

I can't say for sure, but I imagine the distribution of coins is pretty typical--what I mean is, we didn't consciously try to hold quarters out of the mixture, or only tried to dump pennies into it.

I'm going to take it to one of those coin machines at the grocery store this weekend some time (I know, it lops a percentage off of what I receive, but my hourly billing rate is much higher than what I'll pay, so it's totally worth it). I will let you know the official numbers very soon!

I wish I could say you'd win a huge prize or something for guessing correctly or even really closely, but I can't. It's all just for fun and bragging rights.

So let's have it--how much money is in that jar?

Howdy!

2011-12-06T11:58:00.001-05:00

No, really, I'm still around.

Ryan and I had a lovely weekend in Arizona. He is a great traveling companion, and it was so nice to spend some time with him, just the two of us. Though for some reason I'd forgotten that events like family weddings require sustained amounts of behaving--he mostly did fine, but we had our moments. Thank Jobs for iPads!

The highlight of the trip was snuggling in bed after the wedding/party, watching Harry Potter movies on tv until we both drifted off to sleep. Somehow, we don't quite do that often enough in every day life.

Brendan and the rest of the gang had lots of fun without us, too. From what I can tell, they left home each morning and had adventure after adventure, and then came home and crashed in a tumble of blankets and pillows on the floor of the family room. Good times.

And now I am struggling to get back into the routine of things. The kids have homework for co-op, the house is a wreck, there's an OMG level of laundry, the playroom needs its annual decluttering, etc.

And all I want to do is knit hats like this one:

If blogging is light this week, blame it on the knitting.

The One About Thanksgiving Dinner

2011-11-29T10:48:00.000-05:00

Now that the leftovers are finally gone, I'll commemorate this year's (mostly) paleo Thanksgiving menu in pictures.

First, the stuffed turkey breast. I managed to take a couple of pictures while I was putting it together. Let me just say that taking the bones out was an enormous pain, and next time I'll probably have a butcher do it.

Here's what it looked like after I took the bones out, butterflied it, put on a layer of prosciutto, and then added wilted spinach with butter, scallions, and garlic. It was a six pound breast, so it was pretty ginormous.

In the past, I've used just plain sage or sprigs of rosemary in the middle, and that's worked out well, too. Before we rolled it up, I sprinkled sea salt and black pepper over the spinach mixture.

There it is, all rolled up and snug in the pan, tied up with string on both ends. We couldn't remember if we generally tied the string on before the layer of pancetta, or after. I don't think it matters as long as you remember that it IS tied up with something before you start cutting it open. One year, we lacked string and held the thing together with bamboo skewers. It looked FREAKY--but it worked!

Next, the layer of pancetta, which usually opens up into strips like bacon. But this year, they wanted to stay together in circles, so it looks a little crazy.

I added a little black pepper to the top and then put it in the oven, for about 90 minutes at 375 (I think). We used a meat thermometer to tell us when it was done.

Here's what it looked like after we cut it open:

YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY!

Our side dishes were sweet potatoes ala LB and SB and prosciutto-wrapped asparagus ala Paleo Comfort Foods and sausage stuffing ala me.

Our sweet potato hash browns were actually more like sweet potato home fries (we did that on purpose):

Just coconut oil and cinnamon on them. I've been eating the leftovers as post-CrossFit snacks the whole week.

The asparagus disappeared quickly:

This was my best batch of sausage stuffing yet:

This time, we slow-roasted the potatoes and fennel with olive oil and balsamic vinegar first. Then added the browned sausage and mushrooms sauteed in butter. A bonus this time--chunks of bacon and a huge spoonful or two of bacon grease. The flavors blended well and I got lots of compliments from our guest who had never tried it before. Next time we'll lose the potatoes since we all agreed they don't add too much except extra carbage. I'll make up the volume with another pound of sausage!

And here's the whole thing put together, with one of my grandmother's rolls made from scratch (so, mostly paleo, not truly paleo!):

Beautiful gorgeous Thanksgiving dinner and really good leftovers, too!

The One About Thanksgiving

2011-11-28T09:41:00.000-05:00

Well I just had a splendid birthday/Thanksgiving week!

I really did run in a 5K on Thanksgiving morning, despite the fact that the morning started out at about 38 degrees and I really dislike, you know, running. It was a huge race, lots of fun things going on in Marietta Square, tons of people, etc. I did it--slowly--but I did it.

I have to say that the songs that came up in shuffle mode on my iPod were so awesome because they generally mirrored how I was feeling during each phase of the race. So I'm going to write them down for posterity:

Crazy--Gnarls Barkley (Started before the gun went off and played during that first shuffle-through-the-start phase, and it made me laugh because I felt really crazy for even doing this race.)

Freewill--Rush (And of course I was doing this out of my own free will, so I had no one to blame but myself...)

Holding out for a Hero--Bonnie Tyler (But I AM the hero of my own life, so look at me, doing something difficult and productive and maybe even a little heroic!)

All These Things That I've Done--The Killers (And I've not only done this race, but others, and oh yeah, I recently deadlifted 195 pounds five times so that's an accomplishment, too! Go me! I'm badass!)

This Too Shall Pass--OK Go (But here's the part where the race is sucking and I'm hating myself--though this part happened past mile 2 instead before I was halfway done, so maybe I'm growing as a person here--and it's good to remind myself that I might actually live through it.)

F*** You--Cee Lo Green (Pretty much sums up my feelings toward everything in the universe at this point...)

La Villa Strangiato--Rush (Started almost at the end, and it was definitely time for an instrumental because I thought I was going to go crazy if I had to listen to someone else sing the words in my subconscious.)

I think I might have missed a song in there--maybe something by Queen? But you get the idea. It was as if the shuffle mode had a link to my brain. Probably the other people thought I was a little strange because I know I laughed a couple of times.

I did not beat my last time--I came in about 45 seconds slower--but I'm good with that. This course was a lot hillier than the last one, so I figured that evens things out a bit. Also, I finished, which I'm not sure if I mentioned, and really that's the most important part.

After the race, I came home to find my wonderful family already working on dinner! So I showered up and helped them out.

The dinner turned out wonderfully (I'll put up a separate post with pictures today or tomorrow). We had just a few friends over and hung out, drank wine, ate chocolate pie and bonus Nutella treats that one of my friends brought over, and watched Elf with the kids. You have never heard such hysterical laughter, I promise. We'll be seeing that a few hundred more times in the next month, I think.

Our Thanksgiving was marred only by a bout of Pukinson's Disease (Sean) which began after midnight and kept us both awake until the wee sma's. We think this is only the second or third time Sean has ever thrown up, and you forget what it's like for a small child, to have your body behave this way. It's rather terrifying. He did not suffer in silence and I'm amazed that anyone else in the house was able to sleep through it! He was fine the next day and nobody else got it, so I guess it was one of those Little Kid Things, or maybe he ate something that didn't sit well with his system.

We had a lovely weekend full of knitting and cleaning up and social activities and this week will be crazy, too! On Thursday, Ryan and I are leaving for Phoenix to attend my cousin's wedding. Brendan will be hanging here with Morgan and Sean and I'm certain all kinds of adventures will be had. So probably blogging will be pretty light until next week--but I do plan to put up pictures of our yummy Thanksgiving dinner.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend, too!

The One About My Birthday

2011-11-21T08:43:00.001-05:00

When I was 8 years old, I made up a little song that I sang to myself the entire year. Here are the lyrics:

"I'm eight! And I'm great!"

That pretty much summed up how I felt about myself, the world, life, the universe, everything. I definitely woke up full of awesome most days when I was 8. I was a little sad to turn 9, because "I'm nine! And I'm fine!" just didn't have the same feeling to it. I mean, would you rather be great or fine? I thought so. So I gave up my age-related theme songs.

There have been long stretches of time in my life where I definitely did not wake up full of awesome, but I am happy to say that the last decade or so has not included too many of those non-awesome stretches.

And I'm pleased to report that this past year has been the most chock full of awesome yet. I made amazing progress on all fronts--professional (yes, I do have a non-Mommy professional life!) and personal (mental and physical). I have a wonderful husband, wonderful kids, wonderful productive values to pursue at my Mommy and non-Mommy jobs.

Almost every single day of 40, I woke up full of awesome. And I pretty much plan to continue doing more of the same now that I'm 41. I mean, why change a good thing?

And I've decided to reinstate the theme song. So sing it with me, sing it loud:

"I'm 41! And I'm great!"

(Feel free to adapt the lyrics to your own life--but change only the number. Stay GREAT. Always.)

Objectivist Round Up #227

2011-11-17T10:33:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the November 17, 2011 edition of the Objectivist Round Up.

This time I'm sharing a quotation simply because I am developing a MONSTER peeve about people who claim that what we have now, in this country, is laissez-faire capitalism. (If only.)

When I say “capitalism,” I mean a full, pure, uncontrolled, unregulated laissez-faire capitalism—with a separation of state and economics, in the same way and for the same reasons as the separation of state and church.

--Ayn Rand, “The Objectivist Ethics,” The Virtue of Selfishness, 33 (via the online Ayn Rand Lexicon)

We have never had a complete separation of economics and state in this country, so to blame capitalism for the fact that some businesses choose to use the power of the government as a means to their ends is completely wrong.

And now, on to something a bit less gripey--the Round Up!

David C Lewis, RFA presents Insurance Rate Regulation: Why Your Insurance Premiums Are So High (And What Will Cause Them To Go Down) posted at A Revolution In Financial Planning, saying, "Does insurance rate regulation help or hurt you?"

Jared Rhoads presents Americans and big-government health policy posted at The Center for Objective Health Policy, saying, "A recent survey claims that Americans want bigger government providing more healthcare services. Is that true?"

Tod presents What Passion Looks Like posted at Tod.FM, saying, "Living without passion hurts more than sleeping on the floor every night."

Ari Armstrong presents Wall Street Occupiers Depend on Capitalism posted at Free Colorado, saying, "Occupy Wall Street protesters advocate socialism while others celebrate capitalism across the street in McDonald's."

Jason Stotts presents Objectivist Blog Traffic posted at Erosophia, saying, "I want to know what the reach of the Objectivist blog community is, so I'm going to be compiling the traffic counts for Objectivist blogs. Want to be included?"

David Baucom presents Gary Johnson on Democracy vs. Republic posted at The Objective Standard Blog, saying, "A quick Q & A with Gary Johnson on democracy vs. republic (NOT part of my TOS interview with him)."

Diana Hsieh presents Video: What's the Difference Between Evasion, Rationalization, and Context-Dropping? posted at NoodleFood, saying, "In Sunday's webcast, I answered a question on the difference between evasion, rationalization, and context-dropping, particularly discussing marital infidelity and the anti-abortion "personhood" movement as examples."

C.W. presents A Chance to Have Input for a Book posted at Krazy Economy, saying, "Our chance to have some imput for a book about job creation. The author does seem to recognize that only private enterprise creates jobs and that government does not."

Atul Kapur presents Slide-to-Unlock --> When Geniuses Apply for Patents posted at Wit Lab, saying, "Two remarkable stories from history that might make you lean in favor of patent protection for trivial features on your smartphone"

Jenn Casey presents Five Things about The Holidays (dun-dun-DUN!) at Rational Jenn, saying, "Keeping the focus on my values for the holiday season makes it less stressful and more enjoyable."

Jenn Casey presents On Self-Invention posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "Something my 6 year old daughter said to us last week became an opportunity for talking about Ayn Rand's statement 'A man is a being of self-made soul.' It was pretty awesome!"

That concludes this week's edition. Next week is Thanksgiving, and Erosophia will be hosting. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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On Self-Invention

2011-11-15T10:08:00.001-05:00

Morgan said the most interesting thing to us the other day. It was something like this:

"There are three people who can invent me--you two [pointing at me and Brendan] and ME!"

That statement led to a fascinating conversation about how, yes, we created her, but she is primarily responsible for inventing herself.

Because she is. We gave her the raw materials, but she must learn and figure things out and integrate concepts and make decisions, all things which will shape her mind and sense of self and sense of life--each of which will in turn affect future decisions and her thinking (and even the decision to think).

I've been thinking about that statement ever since, and our response to it. And I hope she has been thinking about it, too (and I hope Ryan, who witnessed the conversation, is thinking about it, too).

This idea of self-invention relates to my parenting principles in that I deliberately try to stay out of their self-invention as much as possible. And when I must interfere with their decisions (because they are doing something that violates or will likely violate rights), I do so deliberately and openly and with the minimal amount of interference/force necessary. It's important to be clear and completely honest and open about why I need to get involved (no "Because I said so!") so that they have a chance to learn from what happened, that they will then take that experience and use it for more (hopefully rational) self-invention.

One thing I wish I'd mentioned the other day, and will certainly mention the next time the topic comes up, is that self-invention isn't just the business of childhood--it's something we do all of our lives. Each day, with each decision. It's kind of a fun adventure, really, this self-invention. I'm rather enjoying the process myself. :)

There never was such a perfect set up for talking to our kids about this idea:

"Man is a being of self-made soul." Ayn Rand

Five Things about The Holidays (dun-dun-DUN!)

2011-11-14T11:52:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend, one of my friends posted a status to Facebook that, well, reminded me of me. She seemed to be feeling overwhelmed by the idea of The Holidays (dun-dun-DUN!) and the rush that goes along with it, and the feeling of needing to get everything done. I'm paraphrasing, and I hope not misunderstanding what she wrote, but reading her status made me wonder if she was somehow inside my head. :D

Years ago, I used to let myself get overwhelmed and stressed by The Holidays (capitalization is a must here; the dun-dun-DUN! is optional, but silly, and I'm generally pro-silly so I'm keeping it in), to the point where I wanted to avoid the whole thing completely and be a big Scrooge.

One of the things that helped me get over myself was just chilling out some (a phenomenon that seems to be correlated with age/wisdom/parenthood in general). Another was reading a book called Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season.

It's been years since I read this book, and some of the details are fuzzy. (I thought I still had it around somewhere, but I think it might have gone into my last donation box/garage sale. So I can't refer to it directly for this post.) But one of the main things I remember from it was making a list of my holiday priorities. The idea is to list the top five things you LOVE about The Holidays (dun-dun-DUN!), to determine which events/activites define Holiday sine qua non-ness (I just made that up, can you tell?) for YOU. Maybe it was three things, or seven things, I honestly can't really remember. But the list was definitely short on purpose.

I love this exercise and after thinking about MY priorities for The Holidays (dun-dun-DUN!), I came up with a list of Must-Dos. And then I let everything else go. That first Thanksgiving/Christmas after I read this book was enjoyable. I had liberated myself from feeling overwhelmed by unrealistic expectations of activities and events that, upon reflection, weren't really fun to me anyway.

Some examples of things I've let go of in past years:

The need to decorate every inch of my house inside and out. Sometimes we do it, and sometimes not. But I no longer feel guilty if I never get around to it.

The need to make every single kind of special holiday treat I ever had as a child. Sure, Christmas cookies are yummy, and who doesn't like to decorate a gingerbread house? But there are only so many baking hours in me (and that was even before I turned away from the grain-train), and so cookies and candy are not a priority.

Breaking our budget to buy gifts for one and all. This sounds stingy, but it's not borne out of stinginess--it's simply a recognition of the fact that our money is finite. For years we spent way too much at Christmas and then struggled for the first few months of the year. Then, a few years ago, we decided to stop exchanging gifts with the other adults in our extended families. It was a difficult decision for some of our family to accept, but I think they do understand. And I'm glad we did it. That leaves us with a reasonable budget to buy for the kids and do something special for our whole family, too (usually a big item, like the year we got a Wii). And it cuts down on the amount of things we have in our home, and since I'm in decluttering mode, this is a good thing. Our families get gifts for the children, so the kids are not deprived at all.

The Facebook conversation this weekend got me re-evaluating my priorities again. Because I think they've changed. And someone else on the thread mentioned asking her family for THEIR priorities. Which I think I'll do at our next Family Conference.

My Top 5 Things (this year) are:

1. Go to the mall with the kids early in the season (this is a must, as I hate holiday crowds) to get gifts for Brendan and look at the decorations. We'll go to Starbucks and drink hot chocolates (I'll treat myself to a peppermint mocha because that tastes like Christmas) and watch the kids waiting to see Santa. I'm really looking forward to this.
2. Put up our new little Christmas village. It's not as badass as Spooky Town, but it's cute.
3. Watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Boris Karloff version, always always always) as many times as possible with the fam.
4. Listen to the Christmas carol radio station as much as the kids can stand it.
5. Get fun and creative stocking stuffers for everyone (the bacon band aids were such a hit last year).

If only those five things get done (besides the usual stuff like getting presents for the kids and making a yummy Christmas dinner), I will be happy and enjoy my holiday season! Everything else is GRAVY. And I can't wait to find out what the kids come up with for their Top 5 lists. (We might have to pare this down to Top 3.)

My list is different this year. Christmas cards used to be on my Top 5 list, but I'm not really feeling that they are NECESSARY this year. I will probably do them, but it's not such a priority this year (sorry, friends and fam). I'm not exactly sure why this is, but I'm pretty certain that I won't feel too sad if I skip a year. So Christmas cards are not on the Gravy list.

Other Gravy list items:

Decorating the outside of the house

Driving around to see Christmas lights on other houses

Finding cute matching clothing/pajamas for the kids and ~~forcing~~ ~~cajoling~~ begging them to sit still and not irritate each other for 2 minutes for a photo shoot (which is part of why the cards are lower down this year).

I might bake cookies--the good thing about older kids is that they are competent to do this somewhat independently, so I might pass along this responsibility to those who will be the ones eating all the cookies anyway.

What's on your Top 5 list? What's on your Gravy list? And, probably more importantly, why?

I highly recommend this exercise, especially if you are prone to getting overwhelmed by The Holidays (dun-dun-DUN!) like I was. Identify your top values and go after those first. Make happiness a priority (your own happiness, as well as the happiness of ~~the potential innocent victims of your holiday madness~~ the people you care about the most). Because the whole point of this time of year is to experience Joy and Goodwill Toward Men and all that good stuff.

And it is MUCH easier to do that when you don't want to simply kill everyone who stands in the way of your holiday goals. No, really!

Thinking about Thanksgiving

2011-11-10T11:46:00.000-05:00

Last year, I shared my Mostly Paleo Thanksgiving Menu, and boy am I ever glad I did, because I'm thinking about Thanksgiving again (2 weeks from today!) and that post gave me some good ideas.

See? This is the real reason I started blogging in the first place--to help me remember my own awesome ideas.

This year, it'll just be us, the nuclear family. It will be so fun, though it's nice to have friends and family over, too. Maybe next year. But Just Us means fewer dishes and less pressure to make a huge Thanksgiving spread. That's all kinds of YAY.

So here's what I'm thinking about for this year:

Prosciutto turkey roll (more on this in a bit)

Sausage stuffing because Brendan really really likes this, and I really like it, too (I know that it's supposed to be called dressing if you don't stuff it into a turkey, but we call it stuffing anyway and if you don't like it, you can . . . stuff it. :P)

Prosciutto-wrapped asparagus (from Paleo Comfort Foods, and also, because I like prosciutto)

Some kind of sweet potato dish, likely either baked, or slices slow-roasted in coconut oil, or the sweet potato hash browns that LB recently wrote about

Maybe the Rolls, I haven't decided. I think I will make them this year, because I'm pretty sure I can resist the urge to eat a million of them--bread isn't something I typically crave and when I do eat an occasional piece of bread I have no trouble eating just one piece and stopping. Also, I kind of want to make them with my kids and tell them stories about my grandmother and teach them how to make bread from scratch because it's fun.

Pumpkin Pie even though I have always disliked anything pumpkin, I make this for everyone else because I'm a nice person and want people to be happy. :) Also, there is something necessary about the smell of pumpkin pie during Thanksgiving week. Even though I don't eat it, I like the smell.

Maybe Key Lime Pie, I haven't decided. It sort of depends on if I make something for my birthday, which is the Monday before Thanksgiving. If I make something for my birthday, then I'll probably only have pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. If not, maybe I'll make something else. And it also depends on if I decide to run a 5K Thanksgiving morning. I'll definitely feel better about eating pie if I've run 5K that day! Key Lime pie is my usual Thanksgiving preference, but I could go for something chocolate or cheesecake-ish.

YUM. I probably shouldn't be writing this post before lunch, because now all I can think about is EATING LUNCH NOW.

Anyway, about the prosciutto-turkey breast thing. My sister gave me this recipe years ago, and I make this every few Thanksgivings or so. I don't have an actual recipe to share with you, but I'll briefly describe what it is to the best of my memory (I could probably put together an actual, you know, recipe, but only after I remember how to do it--which won't happen until Thanksgiving).

You take a boneless turkey breast and butterfly it, which as far as I can remember means make the turkey breast into one big flat piece. Then salt and pepper the inside if you want. Next, lay slices of prosciutto over the entire slab o'turkey.

This is the fun part. You can add lots of different things on top of the prosciutto. In past years, I've tried just sage, just bunches of rosemary, and maybe thyme. I've also sauteed some green onions in butter until they're a little translucent, and then added in some spinach, and then put the spinach-green onion mixture on top of the prosciutto. Basically, add something green and flavorful--it doesn't really matter.

Then, roll up the turkey breast and tie it up with kitchen string. This is the part where it's helpful to have a helper because the turkey breast, as I recall, dislikes being rolled up with all of that stuff inside it, so having one person roll it tight and another tie it up makes everything behave.

THEN THEN THEN, OMG THEN: cover the entire outside of the rolled up turkey with, get this . . . wait for it . . . pancetta! You can use bacon if you'd prefer, but in my opinion, the pancetta is totally worth the price.

Then cook it! Oh look, here's a similar recipe I found thanks to the magic of Google and the Internets. There's no pancetta outer layer in this recipe, so it's clearly inferior to my sister's, but you get a picture of what my turkey breast roll usually looks like, and some helpful cooking hints, too.

Now I will confess that I generally prefer the dark meat on turkeys and chickens, but this turkey breast turns out moist and flavorful every time (thanks to the prosciutto and pancetta!) and it doesn't require the same amount of cooking time that a whole bird does. Which makes it a good Thanksgiving option when it's just the five of us.

Okay, now I'm REALLY hungry. And looking forward to Thanksgiving. But first--lunch!

(PS: What are you having for Thanksgiving?)

Watching the Wheels

2011-11-07T13:15:00.000-05:00

Most of you didn't know me in my pre-homeschooling-mommy life. I am pretty much the same as I was, though a lot more chill and able to cope with unexpected surprises (thanks, kids!). What I mean is, my temperament hasn't changed, but my ability to manage the more challenging aspects of being Me has vastly improved.

The thing is, I used to be Ms. Future VP of Corporate America. I excelled in my jobs (though I know I made lots of mistakes and am confident I'd be so much better a manager now than I was in my 20s). But I mean, I excelled. Kicked ass. Okay, so that part isn't much different since I am pretty kick-ass these days, too.

I was well on my way toward that goal, too--grad degree, good contacts in the local business world, recommendations from my professors, made decent money at a job that gave me relevant experience in my chosen field.

And then I switched careers and joined the Mommy Team. It surprised some people--hey, it even surprised me a bit. :D

There are two main reasons I switched careers. I loved my work, it was good stuff, but GAH! I worked all the freaking time. I mean, I work all the freaking time now, of course, but I worked too much before, and expended my time and energy on stuff that really didn't matter, and got too good at playing the Job Politics game. I rarely had time for myself or Brendan outside of work stuff. It consumed my life.

The other reason is that I hate doing things halfway, and couldn't figure out how I would be able to manage working at the level of excellence I expected of myself at a regular job and the Mommy job. Some people can pull this off probably, but I knew enough about myself to understand that I was not such a person and I would be miserable. So I chose between the two.

My job today consumes my life, too, but in a way that makes me happy. That is the difference, and I suppose it's not really accurate to say my job consumes my life. Rather, I consciously and willingly invest my time and energy on activities and with people in productive endeavors that I enjoy and that make me happy. It's not mere consumption of my time and energy--it's an investment.

I am a zillion times happier today than when I was 28 and working 70 hours a week and going to grad school at night and managing people who were sometimes difficult (and often older than me--that's really awkward). I am a zillion times healthier, both physically and mentally. I spend my work days with people I really really like and enjoy, and I work on businesses (the cabin, ATLOS, Cultivating the Virtues) that I really really like and enjoy. Even when I have a crappy day at work, which happens at any job, I don't dread the next day that's coming. I don't sit in my car in the parking lot, holding back tears, trying to summon the strength to walk in the door.

This is why my career change was not a sacrifice, even though I make a lot less money than I used to. I am happier happier happier now. And I'm always thinking ahead to what I'll do as I get more time to devote to non-kid activities. I have many things to add to my resume and I have a much better idea of the kinds of work and work environments that I will enjoy.

Anyway, that was way more than I meant to write. I really just wanted to share this song, "Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon. It was on the last album he ever produced, and it came out after he died.

I heard it on the radio the other day and I remembered how I used to listen to this quite a bit after I quit my last "real" job. Pretty exactly relevant.

The lyrics:

People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing

Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin

When I say that I'm o.k. well they look at me kind of strange

Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game

People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away

Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me

When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall

Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

I really love to watch them roll

No longer riding on the merry-go-round

I just had to let it go

Ah, people asking questions lost in confusion

Well I tell them there's no problem, only solutions

Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind

I tell them there's no hurry

I'm just sitting here doing time

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

I really love to watch them roll

No longer riding on the merry-go-round

I just had to let it go

I found this demo version of the song on YouTube. I've never heard this version before and I really like it.

Sigh. Good stuff.

And that was me--I just had to let it go. And I don't regret it for a second.

Sean the Contrarian

2011-11-04T11:32:00.000-04:00

Ah, Three! You are such fun in so many ways. You are energetic and independent and funny and interested in doing everything. You sing songs and make up stories and spend a lot of time pretending you are a black kitty cat. You still think I am the best person ever put on the planet.

But you also are just a wee bit argumentative. And bossy. And, to be completely honest, a bit of a know-it-all. You are especially prone to BATTLING TO THE DEATH (or the pain) over the craziest things.

To offer a few recent examples from real life:

You screamed at me for cleaning the dirty windshield on the car with the windshield wipers because evidently I am not supposed to use the wipers when it's not raining.

You complained that two kids were doing cartwheels in the field next to the gymnastics building because you are only supposed to do cartwheels inside the gym.

On the day after Halloween, you fussed at me for the fact that Spooky Town is still up. You continue to remind me of this serious breech of holiday etiquette on an hourly basis. Yes, it's still up. (And yes, my friend S. will love this!)

When I announced that we're leaving the house in about 30 minutes, you shouted: "NO! We are leaving in 21 MINUTES!" with a glare, daring me to contradict you.

I've lost count of the arguments you've had with your siblings, one of whom is somewhat of a Professional Contrarian himself. And to be truthful, you do occasionally have legitimate gripes and complaints that must be addressed.

Just yesterday, you had your first real-live temper tantrum (took you a while!). Tantrums I can deal with, no problem.

The arguing? The pointless, pointless arguing, especially with your brother which necessitates that I must stop what I am doing and go involve myself? Well, that might be what does me in.

It's a good thing you are really stinking cute. :D

Lovely Weekend

2011-11-02T14:47:00.002-04:00

I had a GREAT weekend. So great, as it happens, that I'm still kind of having it. What I mean is that it's taking me a longer time than usual to get back into my regular routine and level of productivity. I'm mostly sure this is a Good Thing.

Last weekend, we went to a Halloween party with homeschool friends on Friday night. It was so much ~~chaos~~ fun and I'm so grateful our family was included. I really hope my friend didn't have too much trouble recovering from the mess in her house--I think I counted around 16-18 kids between the ages of 2 and 13. That's quite a lot of kids.

As if that wasn't fun enough, my sister arrived for the weekend on Saturday. She immediately announced that she wanted me to teach her to knit! I was so excited (though a bit doubtful about my ability to teach it to her). We had a quick lesson and then sat and practiced a bit before carving pumpkins and roasting seeds with the kids. We had so much fun doing that that I completely forgot all about the Spooky Trail put on by our neighbors. Oh well, next year!

The best part about having an extra adult on hand for pumpkin carving is the fact that I don't have to stick my hands in the pumpkins and pull out the guts. It's not just that I hate doing that--I do--but it also causes like a weird itching on my skin. A mild allergy/intolerance? Might explain why I've never liked anything with pumpkin in it. So my nice, nice sister pulled out all of the guts and I rinsed and roasted seeds. Pumpkin seeds are a once-a-year treat for us, since I can never seem to find any peanut-safe ones at the stores.

On Sunday, we ate at a Brazilian restaurant (the perfect post-CrossFit snack!) and then went to JoAnn Fabrics in search of yarn and needles for my sister! (By the way, did you know that JoAnn will give the 15% educators discount to homeschoolers? Just bring in your DOI and fill out the form and that's it!) We came home and knitted the afternoon away. And I can't even remember what we did that evening. Hung out and played with the kids and generally being leisurely.

Monday was Halloween, and even though Brendan had to go to work, it felt like a day off for me somehow. I had an eye doctor appointment and my sister got to ~~argue with Ryan~~ hang out with the kids for me while I did that. We met Kelly and Livy for lunch and then we all headed back here for Halloween crafts and more pumpkin seed roasting and fun.

We didn't have our big bash this year, and while I missed it in a way, I'm mostly glad we kept our group small this year--just my kids and their bestest, Livy, who has literally spent every Halloween of her life at my house. My sister passed candy out to the neighborhood kids and so I got to go out with the kids. Sean knew just what to do and meowed his "trick-or-treats" in a very enthusiastic way. Morgan brandished her battle axe and stake with frightening authenticity, considering she's only ever seen one episode of Buffy. And Ryan marshaled the troops effectively and generally bossed everyone about which path to take. (You can see pictures on my FB page.) They got tons of candy, most of which I sent home with their friend because it was all peanutty. I exchanged the ~~poison~~ peanut candy for safe candy and toys.

And then my sister left for home and while I did manage to get caught up on laundry (I KNOW!) and some cabin business and errands and bill paying and book reading, I still can't shake the feeling that time has somehow slowed and things are pleasant and easy and maybe it's okay if I just knit another row or two before I take care of dinner.

I kind of like this feeling, and I hope it doesn't go away soon! I wish all weekends and holidays could be this stress-free and pleasant.

On Knitting, CrossFitting, and How I'm Growing as a Person Here

2011-10-28T13:12:00.000-04:00

So, you may or may not be aware that I have taken up two new ~~obsessions~~ hobbies over the last year. I started CrossFit in September 2010 and started knitting in November 2010. I love them both, and I'm here to tell you why.

Now these two ~~obsessions~~ hobbies might seem like completely opposite types of activities. You've got CrossFit, which is super-intense-lifting-running-jumping-struggling-to-breathe-active-sweating-badassedness. And I love CrossFit for precisely all of those fun aspects.

Then you've got knitting, which is sitting-somewhat-calmly-hardly-ever-breaking-a-sweat-and-you-can-watch-tv-and-have-a-conversation-and-drink-coffee-while-you're-doing-it. And I love knitting for precisely all of those fun aspects.

However, and perhaps you've never noticed this before, knitting and CrossFit have much in common, and I think it's their commonalities that appeal to me and why they are my two new favorite ~~obsessions~~ hobbies.

There's counting. And patterns.

Yes, I realize this will not appeal to those of different personality types (though that doesn't mean you have to be just like me to enjoy either one!).

But I like the counting and the patterns. A row of knitting is not unlike a round of CrossFit. Let's take an example. In knitting you might knit 2/purl 2 seven times to finish a row. In CrossFit, you might, to use an example from just the other night, do 3 power snatches and then row 250 meters seven times.

See? It's a nice little pattern you follow and when you've reached the end of the row or finished all 7 rounds, you're done!

Goals: Both big and small.

I'm a goal-oriented kind of person. There is almost nothing more satisfying to me than checking a Something off of a list.

Both knitting and CrossFit let me check off big and little Somethings all the time. Even if it's only the smallest goal--a purl or a k2togtbl, or a single box jump or a quick 200m run--I'm checking checking checking my accomplishments off my mental list throughout the process.

And as each unit get mentally checked off, I get closer to the next bigger goal--for knitting, that's a row, and in CrossFit, that's a single set of reps, like 5 pull ups in "Cindy." And for each of those mentally checked off, I get closer to an even bigger goal--the completion of a group of knitted rows that make a larger pattern, or the completion of an CrossFit round.

Finally, I complete the knitted piece or the WOD. All of those discrete unit-sized goals--each knit, each purl, each lift, each wall ball--have all added up to this bigger, more comprehensive accomplishment!

For these two ~~obsessions~~ hobbies, there are tangible results (no, I'm not inviting you to touch me, you'll just have to admire my muscles from afar). Over time, I have a created nice collection of knitted things, and a stronger, healthier body. I'm way stronger and in better shape than I was this time last year, and I have ever so-many knitted things in use by people in my house. And I know that by this time next year, I'll have more of the same, and on into the future. I will always have more to accomplish, more to do (and once I get a bit quicker at knitting, more handmade gifts for friends!).

SATISFYING SIGH OF SATISFACTION

Developing patience, persistence, and killing the Perfectionism Monster.

I was really bad at both ~~obsessions~~ hobbies at first. Well, maybe not horrible, but let's just say I've made great improvements in the last year in both arenas. In fact, I was nervous about taking up both pursuits because I generally hate doing things I'm not terribly good at, and have historically lacked the patience and persistence to stick with such things until I can improve.

Oh yeah, and I ~~have~~ had this ugly Perfectionism Monster lurking in my head for my entire life, which whispers things to me like "There's no way you can do this well. You're not good enough. Why even try?" Helpful, huh?

But, and this is where I've grown and continue to grow as a person here, I am not so scared as I used to be of trying new things that I might suck at. Maybe this is part of the reason it took me until my FABULOUS FANTASTIC FUN 40s to even consider pursuing ~~obsessions~~ hobbies so difficult (to me) as CrossFit and knitting. I'm finally at a point in my development where I can say "Oh well, if it doesn't work out, at least I tried." before finding something else to do.

Of the two ~~obsessions~~ hobbies, knitting was the one I was scared of doing the most. It surprised me to realize this! I think part of the reason has to do with the fact that doing a craft like knitting is more optional than getting fitter and healthier and more badassier. I definitely wanted to pursue some kind of exercise regimen--that was non-optional itself. Even if CrossFit turned out to be not my thing, I'd have chosen something else.

But knitting. . . oh, well, I think a person can do just fine without crafting. In fact, I avoided any sort of crafty thing for years and was just fine and happy and it didn't have an ill-effect on my health.

So why would I be more scared of the optional value? I think that's Mr. Perfectionism Monster whispering "If you quit it, you'll be a failure." But, as you know, nothing horrible will befall a person for giving up knitting if they hate it.

The other reason I was more scared of knitting is because I knew I was setting myself up for frustration. Sure, CrossFit (as well as just generally trying to improve one's health) can be frustrating at times--you can't quite get the form correct on a lift, or those pounds aren't coming off as fast as you'd like.

But nothing NOTHING frustrates me quite like having to undo teeny tiny obscure mistakes because once you fix one, another inevitably turns up. It makes me feel like Sisyphus. This is why I'm not a computer person--the idea of having to hunt through tons of code to fix one semi-colon sounds like hell on Earth. Unraveling rows of knitting to correct a mistake is not just inconvenient, it actually physically hurts. No. Actually.

I'm happy to report that I have pushed through this frustration and have learned how to fix mistakes more quickly and without too many swear words or physical ailments. Go me! Such a feat would have been impossible for me even a decade ago, I think. In fact, it was a decade ago that I took up knitting for the first time and dropped it because it was made me feel like Sisyphus. So there you go.

A final reason I wasn't as scared of CrossFit as I was of knitting (though I was a-skeered of CrossFit plenty, I assure you) is that I at least had evidence that I could learn to handle CrossFit. The movements are, after all, functional--things you do in every day life. So you just get better at them and are stronger and can do more of the same. Also, I remembered enough from my years in gymnastics that though I'd never considered myself any kind of phenomenal athlete, I knew I had talent enough for that, and managed to do pretty well at it.

The other people who knit and CrossFit are pretty awesome.

I've learned that all you have to do is wear a CrossFit shirt (or Vibram Five Fingers) or carry your knitting in order to wind up in interesting conversations with people.

The people at my CrossFit gym are super nice and encouraging, share your excitement about accomplishing a new goal, are willing to answer questions from newbies, and are generally up for a good discussion about technique or equipment.

My knitting friends are super nice and encouraging, share your excitement about accomplishing a new goal, are willing to answer questions from newbies, and are generally up for a good discussion about technique or equipment.

While that wasn't the primary reason I got into either ~~obsession~~ hobby, it's certainly a welcome benefit. :D

So there you have it! Both knitting and CrossFit satisfy my goal-oriented, pattern-loving personality, and both have required a level of patience and persistence I'd generally found difficult to summon many times in the past. ~~Obsessions~~ Hobbies are supposed to be enjoyable diversions from your usual productive pursuits, and in my case, I've found two that fit me very well.

And since I'm not doing CrossFit until tomorrow, I'm off to knit!

Time Travel Tuesday: On Problem-Solving and Choosing Battles and the Virtue of Independence

2011-10-25T15:52:00.000-04:00

Having more than one kid, I am constantly, constantly involved in helping them resolve conflicts. Constantly. In a way, this is an advantage of having more than one kid--they all get TONS of practice. And in a way, it's a disadvantage because it's exhausting. As in to-the-very-core-of-my-being exhausting.

Still, practicing can't help but improve skills (I think), so overall this is a good thing. And since I also need help practicing because I'm learning, too, this constant (constant!) problem-solving is a Good Thing. (I think.)

This post I wrote in the summer of 2009 (Morgan was 4 and Ryan was 7 at the time) has a nice, lengthy example of the process we use to resolve conflicts. Sometimes the process is quick, under a minute or two. But sometimes it is interminable. Here's but a snippet of what happened that day:

I broke into his word stream with: "I don't want to know about TKD right now. It doesn't matter what kind of hitting in the air you did near her. What matters is that your actions made her worry she'd get hurt. That's a threat [he understands that word] and that's not kind and it's not a way to solve a problem."

Ryan: "But! But! But! I don't want her in the corner!!!!"

Me: "Well, what's a better way to tell her that?"

R: "Um, 'Morgan, don't go in the corner?' "

Me: "That would be a way to tell her. What would you do next time if she didn't respond to that the way you want her to? What would you do then?"

R: "Um, ask you for help?"

Me: "Yes! Will you start hitting at her, making her worry she might get hit?"

R: "No."

Me: "Okay, good. I'm very glad to know that you will not be hitting at her any more."

Now that all happened when Sean was just a baby. These days, he is all up in the problems, if not the actual cause of the problems.

In case you didn't know--with each additional kid, many of the parenting challenges increase exponentially (or if not exponentially, it's definitely a "whole is greater than the sum of the parts" kind of thing). Let me 'splain. With one kid you get a whole lot of parenting challenge in one cute little kid package, yes?

Add a second kid, and now you have the individual challenges that come with each kid (health, personality, developmental, etc.) and then you ALSO get the new challenge of managing the interaction/dynamic/relationship between Kid #1 and Kid #2. And if there's a sibling jealousy/rivalry/potty regression/punish Mommy thing going on (at least in the first couple of years), well then that makes things a little livelier, doesn't it?

Add a third kid, and you have three individual challenges PLUS the interaction/dynamic/relationship between Kid #1 and Kid #2, PLUS the interaction/dynamic/relationship between Kid #2 and Kid #3, PLUS the interaction/dynamic/relationship between Kid #1 and Kid #3, PLUS the group dynamic (aka, when they all team up together to oppose the parental units).

Which might explain quite a bit about why we're stopping at three.

ANYWAY.

Today, I was helping manage a problem between the older two and Sean, who is at that ornery age of THREE. His favorite new pastime is arguing. Actually, he's majoring in Contradiction. He is NO to your YES, ~A to your A, DUCK SEASON to your RABBIT SEASON. Etc.

It is relatively easy for me, a grown up adult with other goals and priorities and a certain level of boredom with ridiculous arguments, to say to Sean "Oh, you say 'no?' Alrighty then." And move on with my life.

SOME PEOPLE who live in this house, however, have yet to cultivate such a devil-may-care attitude toward such pointless bickering, and are apparently willing to fight to the death (or the pain) to prove that YES IS YES and A IS A and it really is, gosh darn it, Rabbit Season after all.

The incident that prompted this post happened only a few hours ago, and I've already forgotten what it was the older two were insisting on arguing with Sean about. An indication of how many you-know-whats I don't give as well as an indication of how often this occurs. So, for the purposes of this little demonstration, I'll use A and ~A as stand-ins for the Disagreement of the Moment.

R & M: "A!"

S: "NO! ~A!"

Some context: everyone in the whole world can see that A is true. It's so obvious that the older kids are absolutely flabbergasted that anyone would actually dare to contradict it.

Me: "I agree with you two, I think it's A."

R & M: [triumphant gloating]

S: "I said NO NO NO! ~A ~A ~A!!!!"

Now comes the point in the ~~argument~~ contradiction when one or both of the older kids becomes indignant and resentful of Sean's refusal to acknowledge reality.

R & M: "But! But! But Sean, you're WRONG! You're wrong wrong wrong. Mom said." Etc.

Sean is both furious and enjoying himself immensely, as he has been provided with yet another opportunity to practice his ~~problem-solving~~ contradiction skills:

S: "NOOOOO! AAAAGGGHHHH!!!" Etc.

And this is where a valuable (I hope) lesson about the virtue of independence is helpful.

Me: "We can all see that A is A. And we can all know that A will not change into ~A just because Sean wants it, right? And remember how he just loves to argue with everything these days?

R & M: [offer general agreement]

Me: "Are you enjoying this use of your time? [No.] So what you need to think about is whether this really worth giving your time and energy to. It's okay to let him be wrong and just know that you're right. You've got a couple of choices here: You can think about how you are right inside your head, or you can argue and argue with him without changing his mind, and you know what? Either choice you make will not change the facts. You will still be right and he will still be wrong. Maybe one day he'll change his mind on the matter--in fact, he probably will--but that's really not your concern and it's ultimately up to him. In the meantime, you can just make up your own mind and know what you know, and move on with your life."

I didn't deliver that whole thing in one big speech (Morgan would never have lasted through so many words). But those are all of the things I ended up saying to them. And that is a lesson in how to be independent in the virtuous sense, how to use your own mind to decide things and not let it bother you that others think differently (or wrongly).

Part of this, too, is letting go of some of the responsibility for getting others to come around to your line of thinking. Ultimately, what I think about things is what matters, even if every other ~~dolt~~ ~~idiot~~ person in the world disagrees with me. I have to think what I think, and then go on and live my life despite the fact that I've been unsuccessful in changing someone else's mind.

What, if anything, Sean got out of hearing me discuss this with the other kids, I have no clue. But I'm hoping that the others picked up something valuable from it.

Maybe if they learn this idea and as well as some coping skills while young, they won't waste tons of time later on trying to correct Wrong People on the Internet.

This is My Life

2011-10-24T14:01:00.002-04:00

Aaaand, once again, Life gets in the way of Blogging!

This is my life (in no particular order):

Reading stuff to kids

Helping kids spell stuff

Trying to convince (certain) people that there is Value in Math

Answering questions for kids

Teaching rational problem-solving and conflict resolution skills to kids

Arguing and arguing with kids (it's how we do)

Going to CrossFit

Going to ATLOS events

Watching movies (Lord of the Rings!) and tv shows (Star Trek: TNG!) with the family

Doing fun fall stuff like going to the pumpkin patch with friends

Making a small attempt at keeping up with the house and laundry

Making the kids make a small attempt at helping keep up with the house and laundry

Helping a newly-minted as of three weeks ago potty user in all of his various needs (11--count 'em, 11!--visits to the restroom at a restaurant last night alone)

Taking kids to field trips and co-op and gymnastics and Halloween parties (this Friday!)

Knitting (legwarmers for Morgan on double-pointed needles)

Occasionally remembering to go to the grocery store for food and snacks

Tracking what I'm eating (I'm heading for a no-dairy experiment at some point here in the future)

Planning for two different sets of relatives coming for a visit in the next few weeks

Trying to figure out what I want to do for my birthday next month. I have so many ideas, and the current idea is to do ALL of the ideas! Because I'm worth it.

Finishing up getting Halloween costumes in order

Arguing (and providing proper supporting documentation) with the IRS and lawyers and similar for personal and business reasons

Getting a stronger handle on our budget and expenses

Thinking about future plans for ATLOS

Trying to decide if I want to do another 5K in the next month or so, and if so, which one I want to do

Figuring out what key essentials I need in my wardrobe (immediate needs are sports bras and a sweatshirt that fits) and getting rid of clothing that doesn't fit any more (I'm down many sizes since starting paleo full-on in January 2010)

Figuring out what winter clothing I need to get for the kids

Thinking about Thanksgiving--I have a pretty paleo menu planned already, but I don't know if it's just going to be us or if we'll make it a big thing and invite people

Trying really really hard not to buy the next pair of VFFs that I really really want but is not quite in our budget . . . yet

Thinking ahead about Christmas and what we're going to get the kids and how we're going to celebrate

Trying not to stress out about the various writing and parenting projects I haven't quite found the time to work on

Trying to enjoy the moments as they come, so they don't pass me by and I'm left feeling as if none of these things is fun. Because it's ALL fun, it really is. I'm working on my goals, pursuing my values, spending time with the people I like the best. Things are really really good. :D But, being me, I need to remind myself to experience the good every once in a while.

Thinking thinking thinking, planning planning planning, doing doing doing.

Always. Always. Always.

What's up with you?

The One About the Shooting Range

2011-10-20T10:24:00.000-04:00

So as I mentioned the other day, Brendan and I took a gun safety class with Ryan at a local shooting range. I've never ever done anything like that before and I've been thinking about the experience ever since.

Here are some relevant facts: I didn't grow up in a home with guns, and had never ever even touched one until last Sunday. I know my grandfathers kept firearms in their homes, but only ever saw one of the weapons one time. I've always been a little nervous about the idea of ever shooting one myself, and yet, also interested. Brendan's family had firearms around I think, and might have even let him shoot a hunting rifle or something. He certainly had a BB gun as a kid.

Probably if I'd never met Ryan, I would never have had a desire or need to go to a gun range and shoot a pistol.

This kid is obsessed, as those of you who have met him in real life already know. He isn't just obsessed with video games with shooting and explosions--he likes to know all about real firearms. He knows the names of the parts (I know where the trigger is) and what kind of ammunition different guns use and pros/cons of laser sights (he's pro, mostly because I think he thinks laser sights look pretty rocking awesome).

He's also interested in the military in general, and wars and battles and battlefields and strategies and tactics and Sun Tzu and Bad Guys and Good Guys and personal defense and home defense and national defense and snipers and assassins and bombs and missiles and rocket launchers. He's beginning to get interested in the Zombie Apocalypse. You know, pretty standard 9 year old boy stuff from what I understand.

We got him a BB gun last year and he and Brendan do target practice in the backyard, which he loves to do. He is super safety conscious and always wears eye protection, which, as a mother, and as a person who watches A Christmas Story about 20 times a year, I do appreciate.

But he's been hankering after the real stuff. Of course.

We decided it was time to fulfill some of Ryan's curiosity by giving him some real experience. While I'm sure many (if not most) mommies can relate to my apprehension about letting a kid handle a real-live gun, I'd rather he have some knowledge and experience to round out whatever dreams and fantasies he already has. We thought training all around in the basics would be beneficial to us all.

A friend of ours found a basic handgun training class at a shooting range he likes, and kids as young as 8 can take the class. Our friend, who is former military, liked the way the class was set up (it's affiliated somehow with the NRA I think), specifically that it trains beginners in a way that is similar to how he learned in the military. The approach is to help you create a safety routine for handling the weapon, to do the same actions and motions each time so that safety becomes a habit.

I like this--it's the same as our "always bring an Epi-pen when you leave the house" routine. We want this habit to be so ingrained in him that something feels off or wrong when he is missing his Epis. And over time, that is how things will feel if he learns and automatizes this firearm safety routine. And I want to do the same thing for myself.

We signed up for a private class with our two friends who are experienced shooters, Brendan, Ryan, and me. Ryan was so excited, and remarked to me as we were preparing to leave that morning that he felt like a grownup. :D

The guy who taught the class (also the owner of the shooting range) was really awesome with Ryan (and the rest of us). Apparently, he was a firearm-obsessed 9 year old boy once himself, because every so often he'd say something to Ryan about how he understood that Ryan was really eager to get shooting. The trainer peopleguy explained things pretty well, and gave us lots of time to practice and get comfortable handling empty guns before we went on the range.

When we got to the range, I was so focused on practicing myself that it was hard to keep an eye on what was going on with Ryan. My friend was there to help me out when I needed something (hooray for friends!). The trainer looked in on all of us once in a while and gave us advice. But his primary focus was Ryan, which I was glad about. Because once we'd all shot a few rounds on the shooting range and I'd got over the shock of having actually fired a gun myself, it began to dawn on me that my 9 year old was armed with a .22 and shooting at stuff.

I had a few moments of OMG my kid is shooting a gun, interspersed with several moments of OMG I'm shooting a gun. Mostly in the good, awe-filled sense. :D

Ryan did great--he was very focused on following all of the rules we'd learned in class, and he listened to the trainer's advice. The trainer listened to Ryan's questions and random bursts of firearm-related trivia in a kind and patient way. He was helpful and encouraging on the shooting range. Because of his kind attention to Ryan, I was able to focus on doing my best, too.

We all got official patches and certifications and stuff, of which Ryan is enormously proud. The trainer gave Ryan a zombie target as a souvenir (or maybe Ryan will use it the next time he goes shooting).

I was super proud of how Ryan did, and how I did, too (you can see pictures of our targets in this post). As it turns out, I'm married to a guy who is also a pretty good shot. :D We're a family of prodigies, what can I say?

It was a fun experience, and I'm so glad we included Ryan. He's still reading about guns and playing shoot-em-up video games, but now he has some firsthand experience with a gun, too. We'll definitely be taking him for target practice on a semi-regular basis, because we all want to get those good safety and shooting habits into our brains, too.

Images from the Weekend

2011-10-17T10:38:00.001-04:00

We had a fun, busy weekend. Did you know that I routinely look forward to Monday mornings, because THAT'S WHEN I CAN SLEEP IN? That's the crazy life of a homeschooling mommy. :D

It started off with 10 sets of 2 front squats at CrossFit:

I have to say that I had excellent form all the way through, as evidenced by the fact that (what little) soreness I had in my legs the next day was in my hamstrings/glutes. None at all in my quads. (As an aside, I rarely have much DOMS these days. Is that a good or bad thing?)

Ryan, Brendan, and I took a gun safety class on Sunday morning with a couple of friends. This is something we've been meaning to do for a long, long while. It's great that the gun range will let kids (as young as 8, I think) take the classes and learn to shoot, too. Yes, this counts as homeschool. :D

Ryan was THRILLED, as you can no doubt imagine:

Before yesterday, I had never so much as touched a firearm. So I'm pretty pumped about how well I did:

Jenn kills paper targets: DEAD.

Yesterday afternoon, we took a family field trip to North Georgia where we met Brendan's mom and sister who are vacationing in North Carolina. We hung out at an outlet mall and then had a fun dinner. My sister-in-law took these pictures of the younger two kids:

She is quite a ham.

QUITE a ham.

There were tons of tents set up in the parking lot, and that was the most funnest thing EVER.

Who doesn't love the Toys R Us store at the outlet mall?

And something fun we did this weekend that we didn't get a picture of: we watched the first part of Fellowship of the Ring with Ryan. AWESOME!

And now, back to your regularly scheduled Monday--may this week be as fun for all of us as this past weekend!

Objectivist Round Up #222

2011-10-13T11:49:00.001-04:00

Welcome to the 222nd edition of the Objectivist Round Up! 222--that's pretty awesome.

Part of the reason I blog about Objectivism and organize this blog carnival is so that I can practice keeping the principles of Objectivism at the forefront of my mind; to remember to live the virtues as well as talk and write about them; to celebrate my life on earth.

From Galt's Speech (via the online Ayn Rand Lexicon, emphasis added):

There is only one fundamental alternative in the universe: existence or non-existence—and it pertains to a single class of entities: to living organisms. The existence of inanimate matter is unconditional, the existence of life is not: it depends on a specific course of action. Matter is indestructible, it changes its forms, but it cannot cease to exist. It is only a living organism that faces a constant alternative: the issue of life or death. Life is a process of self-sustaining and self-generated action. If an organism fails in that action, it dies; its chemical elements remain, but its life goes out of existence. It is only the concept of “Life” that makes the concept of “Value” possible. It is only to a living entity that things can be good or evil.

Steve Jobs, one of my heroes, said something along these lines that I (and I imagine many others, too) have been thinking about ever since he died:

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."

Yup.

And on to the Round Up! Read. Think. Enjoy. And don't keep it a secret!

Burgess Laughlin presents The Most Important Books in My Life posted at Making Progress, saying, "From the Introduction: "At 67, I am beginning the last phase of my life. I am looking back, and one pattern I see is the role of books in my life. They awakened in me the possibility of a life worth living; they helped me solve personal problems that threatened my progress; and they provided the particular information I needed to achieve my four highest personal values: my work, my free-range lifestyle, my friendships, and my favorite leisure activity, reading fiction for happy endings.""

Kate Yoak presents Patience and kindness posted at Parenting is..., saying, "Respectful parenting is all about patience and kindness. I have set out to teach my five-year-old to apply the same to his little sister, thereby trying out my job for size."

Rational Jenn presents Journey Through the Week posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "Recently, my first grader and I created a weekly homeschool schedule for her, at her request and with my guidance. I describe the process we used and share the results in this post."

John Drake presents Crash Proof 2.0 review posted at Try Reason!, saying, "A review of the book Crash Proof 2.0, by Peter Schiff."

Santiago and Kelly Valenzuela presents Quotes About Alabama's New Immigration Law posted at Mother of Exiles, saying, "In this post I feature an article with quotes about Alabama's new immigration law. Most of the quotes link out to other interesting and related news sources. Not only is this Alabama law unjust and immoral, it's disastrous for our already troubled economy."

Scott Lee presents How Freedom, Free Will, and Liberty Tie Into Long Term Survival posted at Scott Free Thinking.

Sean Saulsbury presents The Letter Netflix Should Have Written posted at SeanCast.com, saying, "The letter Netflix SHOULD have written to its customers, and an argument that Netflix did NOT increase their prices."

Jason Stotts presents Dan Savage on STI’s posted at Erosophia, saying, "Are STI's a moral issue or a medical one?"

Diana Hsieh presents Two Paleo Cookbooks: Paleo Comfort Foods and Make it Paleo posted at NoodleFood, saying, "I review two new paleo cookbooks: "Paleo Comfort Foods" and "Make It Paleo.""

Gene Palmisano presents Misnomer of the Day posted at The Metaphysical Lunch, saying, "Lies, Damn Lies, andDangerous Lies"

Blazing Truth presents Top 9 Austrian Ways to Boost the Economy posted at Blazing Truth, saying, "I feel that Austrian Economics has the greatest potential for fixing our economy, what do Objectivists think about this?"

Ari Armstrong presents The Great Fair Tax Debate posted at Free Colorado.

That concludes this edition. Thanks for reading, and be sure to pass this link along to your friends! If you like the work we're doing, be sure to 'Like' us on Facebook, too.

Next week's edition will be at 3 Ring Binder! Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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Time Travel Tuesday: A Lesson in Rational Self-Interest

2011-10-11T14:39:00.000-04:00

Back in May, I wrote about an altercation between Morgan and Sean, and Morgan's tendency to give in to others for the sake of peace and quiet. I was thinking about this post today, because though things have improved, she still does this a little bit. And with a new twist.

First, from the post:

One thing about our sweetie girl is that she's really naturally very sweet. She hates conflict and loudness and feels sad when other people feel sad. She is one of those people who wants everyone else to be happy and have fun and generally acts as a harmonizing force in groups where there is conflict.

This is a nice quality to have (especially given the temperaments of the other people in the family), and it seems to be a pretty consistent--possibly fundamental--part of her personality. This is one of the myriad ways in which she is exactly like Brendan, who is also one of those easy-going harmonizing types (let's just say that Brendan and I balance each other out nicely, heh). So I don't want her to change it.

However, one of the drawbacks of this quality is that she tends to give in to what others want, sometimes a bit too easily and quickly, in my opinion. I've seen her give in to her older brother over and over and over. I've had to help her stand up to him more times than I can count. Many times, I think she truly doesn't care what happens, and if that's true, then I suppose I don't mind if she gives in. But sometimes I do think she cares and gives in anyway. And not just to Ryan, but to her friends, too.

I've said it before and I'll say it again--it is so fascinating to discover and learn about a child's personality. Almost as much fun as learning about my own! Temperament isn't everything about a person, not by a long shot, but it seems to be a good set of starting points for conflict-resolution and problem-solving, doesn't it?

So, the new-ish twist. Morgan is still on a quest for peace and harmony, I think. She does still give in to the wishes and desires of others too easily, allowing her own desires to be quashed, which is not a good thing. But she's getting better at asserting herself and saying 'no.' So that's something.

The new thing is that she seems to want to avoid the LOUD and the confrontation (usually with The Brothers) by actually physically running away from it. Which, in all honesty, part of me can really identify with. :)

What seems to happen a couple of times a day is that she and Sean will get into it over a toy or something, and instead of giving up and giving in, and also instead of good communication and problem-solving, she just . . . RUNS. And runs and runs and runs . . . all the while Sean is screaming and chasing her throughout the house.

So of course I must put a stop to this because of my own quest for peace and quiet and harmony and sanity, and will stop her and say something to her like "Sounds like a problem but if you run away from it, it won't get solved. Can you think of something you'd like to say to Sean [or Ryan]?" That seems to usually be enough to get her going on some problem-solving.

Once, I asked her WHY she runs, and she told me that it was because she couldn't stand the screaming and wanted to get away from it. I believe her. When I pointed out that her solution doesn't really seem to help and that the screaming seems to follow her and get louder, too, she thought I had a good point. But she hasn't gotten over this . . . . what is it, impulse, I guess? . . . enough yet to jump into effective communication. Yet. She'll get there. (If we all don't go insane first!)

Helping her go directly into good communication and problem-solving on her own will be a rational self-interest WIN for her (and for me). Avoiding problems will not solve them, and unsolved problems are not really beneficial to one's life.

In the meantime, it's LOUD over here!

Journey Through the Week

2011-10-10T13:16:00.002-04:00

Morgan and I sat down together and made up a weekly routine for her homeschool studies. It was a fun experience and, with her permission, I wanted to share what we came up with.

To start off, I should probably explain a bit about why this wasn't done before now. And not just with Morgan, I mean, but I have never done anything like this with Ryan (yet?) who is pushing 9.5.

There are many advantages to homeschooling, and among them are:

flexibility (in terms of time, type of studies, method of studies, etc.)

the ability for the child to shape his/her own learning (meaning, what they learn does not necessarily have to be driven from the top down)

pacing (they can proceed at their own rates of speed, and proceed through different areas of learning at different rates of speed)

efficiency (without the inefficiencies inherent in institutionalized schooling, the whole business takes less actual time than it would otherwise)

Combine those aspects with my general parenting philosophy which includes the principle set limits only if and when necessary, and you get a recipe for a very relaxed kind of homeschool. Basically, as long as they are making some kind of progress, I stay out of their learning to a great extent.

I want to take pains to clarify that "relaxed" does not mean there's nothing going on around here, or that I'm not paying attention to what's going on, or that I'm not offering guidance, resources, suggestions, and my opinion about various topics like The Value of Math, and Why Grammar Saves Lives.

I do keep an eye on who is learning what and assess how they are doing and what I think comes next in the logical progression. I have no real concerns about how anyone is doing in any subject. My main concerns with Ryan have more to do with a certain tendency of his to want to avoid putting effort into anything he is not automatically good at (that, he inherited from me) and his resistance to any direct suggestions (um, I have NO clue where he might have acquired that obstinacy from--probably he got a double dose of that from both parents). In fact, he and I had a long talk about just that this morning, which I might turn into another post if he agrees to it.

So anyway, because of all of these general reasons, I have never felt the need to sit down and plan out a homeschool schedule (daily, weekly, or monthly) for my children to follow. With Ryan, such efforts would be utterly wasted and have resulted in various explosions (mostly from me). And Morgan has always been super self-motivated and independent. And, Sean is only three (not to mention, super self-motivated and independent . . . but mostly, he's three).

However, I've noticed that Morgan has been at something of a loss in the last month or two. She has SO VERY MANY THINGS she wants to learn and do and, at 6.5, no sense of time in which to accomplish these VERY MANY THINGS. And she feels frustrated when she forgets to do something she'd like to do. And the fact is that, despite being Brendan's Mini-Me, she is actually a very listy planny person.

Self-motivated to accomplish lots of things + a To Do List a mile long + No sense of time + Frustration at lack of accomplishing things + Loves lists and plans = Time for a Weekly Homeschool Schedule

Yes? :D

As the provider of resources and holder of experience (not to mention, a fellow list- and plan-lover), I suggested this homeschool schedule to her and she latched onto it like . . . well, something really latchy. Leeches are the only latchy things I can think of just at the moment, so we'll go with it. I think I just called my daughter a leech.

So yesterday we had a meeting and created her weekly schedule. She calls it her "Journey Through the Week" list, after a class she took as a preschooler at our homeschool co-op called "Journey Through the Months." I really love the name because I love the idea that learning is a journey.

What we did first was list the subjects that she wanted to make time for during her week. These subjects are (in no particular order):

Piano Practice

Piano Lesson

Multiplication practice (I haven't exactly figured out how we'll do that yet; I'm thinking flashcards)

CrossFit Kids :D

Reading for her Classical Book Club class next session at co-op

Classical Book Club homework

Crime Scene homework (she's taking that with Ryan next session at co-op)

Life of Fred math (bonus group activity, as this seems to attract the brothers whenever we read these aloud and do the exercises.)

Read-alouds with me (currently Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

Spelling (I have a couple of websites/programs I'm going to check out for this, thanks to suggestions from other homeschooling moms, thank you!)

Handwriting (she still needs some practice here, so I suggested this topic)

Gymnastics classes

Co-op classes

She is a very busy first grader!

Next, we figured out how many times a week she wanted to do each activity. Then I took a sheet of paper and wrote the days of the week on it. We filled in the gymnastics classes and co-op classes, since they are known and fixed, of course. We talked about how we like to keep our Fridays and weekends kind of light in terms of scheduled activities so we can see our friends and hang out with Daddy.

Here's the final schedule we worked out:

Sunday

Piano Practice
Multiplication
CrossFit Kids

Monday

Classical Book Club Reading
Life of Fred
Piano Practice
Read-alouds
Spelling
CrossFit Kids

Tuesday

Crime Scene Homework
Classical Book Club Homework
Life of Fred
Piano Practice & Lesson
Handwriting
Multiplication
CrossFit Kids
5:00 Gymnastics Profile Class

Wednesday

10:30 Roberts School (our homeschool co-op is informally known as "Roberts School")
3:30 Gymnastics G2 Class

Thursday

Life of Fred
Piano Practice & Lesson
Multiplication
Read-alouds
CrossFit Kids

Friday

Handwriting
Spelling
CrossFit Kids

Saturday

Piano Practice
Multiplication

Isn't that a great schedule? Each week, she'll print a new one and put it on the fridge. And each morning she will look at her list for the day and check off her accomplishments. I'm sure we'll tweak it a bit, because Tuesdays look especially difficult, but really, tweaking is part of the fun of planning.

I put the things I need to help her with (Life of Fred, read-alouds, piano lessons, etc) in MY planner, so now I won't forget either. Because that's something that happens--I get busy and I forget to get my part done. So now we both have accountability! And you KNOW I love to check my accomplishments off my list, too.

She's already checked most things off of her Monday list, and now I need to go because I have to do MY Monday Journey Through the Week jobs, too.

If you have thoughts and experience about making homeschool plans collaboratively with your kids, I'd love to hear about them!

Parenting Thought of the Moment

2011-10-04T19:12:00.000-04:00

We had an experience last week, out in public, in which I was the recipient of compliments about my parenting, specifically about my "obedient" children. The person who provided me with this praise (and not once either) was super-impressed with my well-behaved children and just couldn't tell me enough about how awesome of a mom I must be.

She even asked my daughter, who happened to be sort of sitting on her hands, "Are you sitting on top of your hands so that you will behave?" (Morgan just looked at the lady. Maybe she heard her; maybe not. No telling.) Apparently this lady missed the part of our visit where Morgan was hiking her dress up in the front for several minutes (no, she wasn't going commando--I think I've broken her of that habit finally).

Now I think it's nice when people think I'm an awesome mom and all, but I'd be misleading you if I said that my kids are always well-behaved in public (or, as noted above, even wearing underwear). I'd also be misleading you if I said that my kids are obedient, or that obedience as such was something that I expect from my children (which you'll know if you know me in person or follow my blog).

So this leads me to my Parenting Thought of the Moment: Lots of people--well-meaning, very nice people--seem to equate a well-behaved child with an obedient child.

And this is what I'd like to say about: it does not follow that a well-behaved child is an obedient child. Certainly, an obedient child will be well-behaved in public (else they'd be disobeying). But all well-behaved children are not necessarily obedient or are being raised by parent-by-authority parents.

And also, I think it's more than a little difficult to accurately judge someone's parenting skills or how well-behaved their kids are in five minutes. (Keep that in mind when you see someone with a screaming toddler at the grocery store.)

The reason I think most people link good behavior with obedience is because the premise Children Ought to Obey their Parents (and Most Other Adults, Too) is rarely questioned. It's a corollary of another premise that is rarely challenged: Children Who Are Not Punished Will Never Learn to Behave.

Maybe we'll disagree about this, and that's okay with me. But I hope anyone reading this will be spurred on to question these premises just a tiny bit.

I consider my kids pretty typically-behaved. Not perfectly behaved in every single situation, but they generally do fine.

Here's an example of a behavior thing we're working on with the little one: helping him learn to regulate the volume of his voice in public situations (well, we're honestly still working with the older one a bit on this, too).

I'm confident he'll improve, even if it continues to challenge him for years, as it continues to challenge the older one. And that improvement in his behavior will happen without punishments, rewards, or any expectation (explicit or implicit) of obedience. (Hooray, Positive Discipline!) In fact, he has already made improvements in this area, and his brother is light-years ahead of where he was when he was very small.

So, to sum up, a well-behaved child is not necessarily obedient (and if you know my kids, they are anything but obedient-for-the-sake-of-being-obedient). And, to quote Ayn Rand, "Check your premises."

The One About The Standardized Test

2011-10-03T16:17:00.001-04:00

So, last week, we finished up our first-ever state-mandated bout of homeschool standardized testing. It was an interesting experience all around.

Okay, so the law in Georgia is that homeschool kids have to take a standardized test at "the end of third grade" and every three years after that. There are NO reporting/oversight requirements, though I can think of a few situations in which you might be legally called upon to show proof of having met this requirement.

I hemmed and hawed all summer and didn't get around to ordering a test until mid-September. So for those of you reading this, be aware that Ryan wasn't officially "promoted" to fourth grade until, um, well, today.

A good thing about homeschooling is that designations like grade levels are fairly irrelevant and therefore, elastic, particularly when the kids progress in different areas at different rates of speed. And there's nothing in the law that says you must only promote to a new grade level at the end of a calendar school year, now that I think about it. Flexibility--one of the best things about homeschooling ever.

On the other hand, a bad thing about homeschooling is that none of the kids ever knows how to answer the question "What grade are you in?"

When I talked to Ryan about this testing business, his first reaction was something like, and I'm only slightly paraphrasing, NO FREAKING WAY. Why? Mostly because that seems to be his usual reaction to anything I mention. It's his way.

Then I explained about Georgia. How it makes all of the laws regarding the education of all children in the state, and I showed him the home study laws. He was seriously affronted by this revelation that the state of Georgia had any interest in him at all. I felt pride and sympathy for him all at the same time.

So we talked about times we have chosen to disregard the law (as in, non-homeschooling laws) and times we have chosen to follow it even when we hate it and view it as a violation of our rights. We talked about good reasons for disobeying a law and good reasons for choosing to follow it. We talked about the risks taken when you choose not to follow a law, and the specific risks we would take by not following this particular law. We talked about the chances we might be caught if we skipped over this testing business. We talked about our feelings about all of this bothersome nuisance from the state and why it ought to just leave us alone instead.

We talked and talked and talked and talked. It's our way. And yes, I consider those discussions part of our homeschooling.

And then he agreed to take a test. I ordered the PASS test, which I chose for the following reasons: it could be parent-administered; it was untimed; it was cheap.

When it arrived, he balked again, but I reminded him of our ~~interminable~~ previous discussions and his agreement to submit to testing. And really, that's all he needed to acquiesce, just a reminder or two that this was not my idea and that we were all doing this because we were compelled to do so by law.

As I mentioned in a postscript in my long kid update post of the other week, I'm not really opposed to testing per se. Though I have many problems with bubble-in-the-multiple-choice-answer-scantron-tests, I know that they are common and a part of life. I think learning to take such tests is a skill that can be developed.

What I object to is not the testing itself as such, but to the reality that the decision of when to test has been wrested from my control (where it belongs) by the state of Georgia, the self-appointed ~~babysitter~~ decision maker of when and how such things get done.

I object to this strenuously and on principle. Even as I recognize that the home study requirements in Georgia are fairly loose compared with other states, my rights and my child's rights are being infringed upon.

Even a little bit of rights-violation chafes a lot. Because it's the principle of the thing. I do not enjoy being parented by the state, and I especially do not enjoy being parented by the state over how I parent my child.

Personally, I think any smallish infringement of individual rights ought to hurt people to a great degree. And I find it distressing that it doesn't seem to affect most other people in the same way it affects me.

But I digress.

Back to the test. It was a fairly smooth process, considering who all was involved. :D

There were three sections: Reading Comprehension, Math, and Language (Grammar). He took the placement tests which gave us the correct section to use during the real test. And then he took one test per day until he was all finished.

Reading was the smoothest, partly because it was first and partly because it was shortest section of the test. And also because it was the easiest subject for him. Ryan laughed and laughed over the silly, contrived sentences ("A rooster named JOHN! Come on, that's ridiculous!"). He also enjoyed how the pattern of answers emerged, and began to root for his favorite letters: "Oh look! Three Bs in a row! Come on, B!"

Math was a bit more challenging as I expected, given his complete and utter apathy toward the subject. But we made it through. I, uh, may have explained to him at some point that if he thought this test was bad, those poor kids who are in school have to do this EVERY SINGLE YEAR instead of every three years like the homeschooled kids. Perspective is a good thing to have sometimes. Language went a bit better than Math, only because he remembered some of the rules from Grammar Rock and because he really got into rooting for the Bs again.

I was with him through the testing process and while we don't have the scores yet, I know what to expect. What I saw of his performance was in keeping of my own assessment of how he's doing, so no surprises really.

The testing company requires that all test materials be destroyed after the test has been administered, so we all had great fun in putting all of the pages into the giant shredder. Ryan had the honor of shredding the first pages.

Ryan's forgotten all about it by now I'm sure and has moved on with his life. I'll look over the results when I receive them and share them with him if he wants to see. I'm sure I'll learn something from the results, which I'll note and use to improve things if I can, and then I'll file the results away in my 2011-2012 Homeschool Folder. Just so I can say I complied with the law.

Overall, the testing experience was a good one and we both learned a lot. But most of what Ryan learned had nothing to do with what was on the test, one of those pesky "unintended consequences" that plague our lawmakers from time to time.

Ah well . . . they can't help it if I turn every discussion about state-required homeschool paperwork into a Civics, Government, and Ethics lesson here at our happy homeschool. :D

Random

2011-09-30T08:30:00.005-04:00

In my never-ending quest to document the most trivial aspects of my life on this here blog, I present to you: A Snapshot Of Things Found In My Purse!

I KNOW! You're welcome very much.

Okay, so besides the usual pens and lip balm and loose change and crayons, the other things in my purse turn out to be very revealing of the way my life is these days.

Let's see, what do we have?

Head bands--for those "just can't be bothered to mess with my hair" days. Which, let's face it, is most days.

Lifting gloves--I rarely use them at CrossFit. I guess I'm keeping them handy in case there's some kind of emergency deadlifting I could be called upon to do.

Epi-pens--I keep a spare set in my purse for the rare occasion that Ryan forgets to bring his set and we are 20 miles from home and super crazy hungry and don't want to come all the way back here on account of we all might starve to death before we got here.

Athletic tape--~~For when the kids get too loud~~ For when I'm in those situations where I'm called upon to do a bunch of band-assisted (yes, STILL) pull ups.

A knitted leaf--BECAUSE I CAN.

Two Newman's Own Extra Bold Coffee K-Cups--that I keep meaning to give to my friend S because I'll never drink them.

A ticket to the Art Institute of Chicago--From September 3rd. Super fun art tour! Yeah, it's been a while since I've cleaned out the purse.

A bandaid--In case someone is bleeding out.

A ticket stub to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2--from the end of July. Okay, it's been a WHILE since I've cleaned out the purse. (Hey, at least it's not a stub from Part 1!)

White board markers--Because I never know when I might have to suddenly lead a Positive Discipline/Effective Communication class!

Business cards for ATLOS--Because they're awesome.

I kind of really like how so many aspects of my life are represented in my purse. It's all right there in my bag of tricks.

This post has been brought to you by an extreme case of procrastination.

One Year at CrossFit

2011-09-28T07:41:00.000-04:00

One year ago today, I went to my first CrossFit class at CrossFit Kennesaw. Even though I have a friend who has done CrossFit for years and led an introductory class at our first MiniCon, I had no real idea what I was in for. I figured it was some kind of boot camp deal with kettlebells and weights. I HAD NO IDEA!

I was pretty nervous pulling into the parking lot. But I was excited, too. I almost chickened out, and I knew that if I didn't just walk in there and get going, I'd never get going. I was ready to do some kind of working out--I was feeling rocking awesome after almost a year of going full-on for-realsies paleo. I was ready to do something, so as I sat in my car in the parking lot I told myself that THIS was my something. And if I hated it, I could find another something, but right then at that moment, this CrossFit class was my something.

And I told myself that not going in was an absolute guarantee that I wouldn't improve and get stronger, but going in was a step toward that goal. So I went in.

Thank goodness Kelly was there. She was the one who found this particular gym, and it is a wonderful place. I have since learned that not every CrossFit gym is alike, and I definitely got one of the good ones. Kelly gets all the credit for finding it and I am forever appreciative that she went with me to the fundamentals class! I might have really chickened out otherwise.

That first night was HARD. Running? WTH? I was totally not expecting running, and huffed and puffed my way around a measly 200 meters and thought I would DIE. Then, squats and other body weight stuff, and maybe some basic lifts. And then . . . THEN the workout started! I can't truly express the level of dismay and surprise I felt. Maybe "shock and awe" cover it.

But I'd committed to finishing the fundamentals classes, six in all, and after doing that, I signed up for more. I told myself I'd stick with CrossFit through the end of the year and then re-evaluate. It wasn't that I disliked it--there were really some aspects of it that I enjoyed right away, partly because it reminded me of doing gymnastics as a kid.

No, it wasn't that I disliked it at all--it's that it was HARD. Really hard. Really really really hard.

But I continued out the rest of the year going about twice a week, and getting into the rhythm of the classes, integrating going to CrossFit into my weekly routine.

And suddenly, it didn't get easier, but I got better at it. It was still HARD, but I could DO IT!!! Me!!! Not all the time, I always had to scale, but suddenly I found I was looking forward to the difficult workouts. I fell in love with the post-WOD buzz. I both dreaded and eagerly anticipated the next WOD.

By the time 2011 rolled around, I was hooked. And not only was I enjoying it (well, not in the moment, you see, but you know what I mean), I was seeing real improvement in my life. And in the gym. But mostly, my life.

Because by then I'd noticed the most important thing of all--that improvements in the gym are great and all, and it's always fun to reach a new PR. But those gym-specific improvements are beside the point. It's the real life improvements that keep me going back to CrossFit.

It's being able to squat properly to lift my kids or five gallon water bottles. It's not running out of breath on the walk to or from the playground. It's entertaining my kids with cartwheels and handstands. It's learning to pay attention to my body and learning to understand the difference between soreness and "pushed it a bit too hard" pain. It's knowing that I can safely lift heavy things at home and not eff up my back again. It's not worrying that I'll hurt myself in some random way simply because I'm out of shape. It's telling the Perfectionism Monster inside my head to go suck it and put my "failures" into proper perspective.

CrossFit has improved my actual outside-the-gym life in very profound ways. So much more important than a PR (which is still important!).

So today I will go back again for my 100th WOD. I didn't actually contrive this, that the 100th WOD would be on the first anniversary; it just happened that way because of crazy random happenstance with my schedule this month. And really, I have more than a hundred workouts in my log--I don't count my travel WODs or 5Ks or anything like that toward the CrossFit Kennesaw WODs.

I'm excited. I have lots of specific fitness goals for myself, but I won't worry about that tonight. I'll celebrate the fact that I did this for A WHOLE YEAR and my life is so much better for it!

Time Travel Tuesday: Limiting Myself

2011-09-27T16:04:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite Positive Discipline Tool Cards is Decide What You Will Do. Really, it's my go-to parenting tool. I use it all the time, often in parenting situations where I am simply paralyzed by the WTFery of it all, or when I find myself standing at the edge of the Cliffs of Insanity, ready to jump over.

Decide What You Will Do (DWYWD) helps me keep MY needs, wants, and values at the forefront. Which is something, as a rational egoist, I think I should be doing. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the throes of all of the things I must do and I forget to think about what I want to do or need.

I am anti-Mom-as-self-sacrificial-martyr. I am pro-Mom-as-individual-who-has-thoughts-and-feelings-too.

In July 2009, I wrote this post about deciding what I will do and gave several examples of how I use this tool. I even wrote out the thought process I had during a specific parenting challenge. Introspection--it's a good thing.

This thinking about my own limits has been a good exercise for me. I like doing it because it helps me focus on MY needs, which I sometimes forget to do in the shuffle, which adds to the grumpiness. And it helps the kids realize that I have needs. If I don't speak up and tell them "This is what I'm going to do because I want/need something...." then they will probably not realize that I even have needs or desires.

Because in their view--and this is only kind of a joke--I'm MOM, not an actual person. :o) Now I know the baby doesn't understand this distinction, having only recently grasped the idea that he and I are separate entities, but the other two are beginning to get that Mom-as-such is not who I am. I am Jenn, who happens to be their Mommy. I know it's a hard distinction and it may very well take each of them reaching adulthood to fully realize it, but they're not going to get it if I never mention it!

Another aspect of DWYWD that I didn't mention in that original post is this: in any relationship--parenting, marital, friendship, coworkers--the only person you can truly control is yourself. (Kelly and I talk about this in our Effective Communication talk, too.) You really can't make someone do something unless you are willing to use or threaten some serious force. And I'm going to assume that most people reading this don't make a habit of threatening or using violence to get people to do stuff, and prefer instead to rely on rational discourse in their relationships. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Think about it. You can't actually MAKE your spouse mow the lawn. You can't force your coworker to turn in his part of the report on time. You can't take your potty training two year old and hold her over the potty and squeeze the poop out of her.

But you can change the tone of your voice when you talk to your husband about the state of the lawn. You can send a reminder email to your coworker. You can notice when your toddler looks like she might need to go and help her get to the bathroom in time.

And in each case, you have a choice not only about what you do, but how you do it. And some hows are more effective than others, more benevolent than others, more respectful than others. Same with the whats, now that I think about it.

And when I choose the whats and hows that are more rights-respecting and kind, I feel better about myself--even if the situation doesn't exactly pan out the way I'd really like it to. When I talk to Brendan about the lawn, I am much happier with myself when I ask him about it in a kind way than if I make a snarky comment about the prairie in the backyard. When I'm focused on guiding my kids instead of controlling them, it makes me feel better about myself, too. It's good for them, but it's also good for my self-esteem and happiness.

Whether I use DWYWD in communication situations or when I'm in the midst of a parenting challenge, this tool is a good way to remember that the only person truly within my control is me. It helps me keep my own needs and thoughts and feelings in mind AND remember to choose methods of handling problems that are in keeping with the idea of the Trader Principle and rational discourse.

Truly, one of the most useful tools ever.

Podcast #21: When Temperaments Clash!

2011-09-26T17:06:00.000-04:00

Check out the line up for our latest thrilling episode!

Situation of the Week (Jenn): Mutual Problem-Solving with a Babysitter

Topic: When Temperaments Clash! (begins 13:33)

Link: Podcast #2: Temperament

Q & A: Is it effective for parents to play good cop/bad cop with their kids? If so, why? And if not, what do you think the root of parents playing these roles is? (begins 37:49)

Links: Books by Barbara Coloroso Kids Are Worth It! : Giving Your Child The Gift Of Inner Discipline and The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to HighSchool--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle (Updated Edition)

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As always, thanks for listening, and thanks for your feedback! Email us or send us questions, we'd love to hear from you. Find us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!

What's What

2011-09-23T16:53:00.000-04:00

This is one of those posts where I just ramble on about what's been going on with the kids lately, primarily for my own amusement. And so I can remember this time in years to come. Feel free to move on by if this Mommy stuff is too boring.

Ryan is 9 years and 5 months old as of this writing, and he is just as imaginative and challenging and talkative as ever. He is obsessed with video games such as Age of Empires, Empire Earth, and Rainbow 6 (on my iPad). If there's shooting and/or building an empire, he's on it. He's also made something of a hobby out of irritating his siblings, and has honed this ability to a very fine edge.

Resistant. He is still pretty resistant to suggestions from me (and Brendan, too, but mostly me) about work I suggest (or even require), such as math or clearing a pathway in the hall so I don't have to step on zillions of LEGOs just to reach his room. He pretty much wants nothing to do with anything that wasn't his idea in the first place. And he's too good at sniffing out oblique approaches from grownups.

But lately he is slightly, ever-so-slightly, more willing to listen to these ideas than before. For example, the time has come (actually, it's a bit passed now) for him to take a standardized test to stay in compliance with our state's homeschooling laws. He was INSANELY resistant to the idea at first. But then we managed to have a reasonable discussion in which I showed him the law, and we talked about the risks and consequences of non-compliance, and what Brendan and I are okay with in that realm, and what we're not. We talked all about laws and when and why it's okay to engage in a little civil disobedience, and how to make that decision about whether it's worth it. And I also explained the purpose of the test, and how we could use the results. Then I left the decision up to him, and he chose to take the test. I ordered the PASS test because it seemed like a low-stress, inexpensive option for his first official testing experience.* He's taken the placement test portion (and did just fine, hooray) and will take the test this weekend probably.

I've noticed he really is beginning to mature in many areas, and this willingness, after a reasonable discussion, to suck it up and do something that he doesn't especially enjoy (like with the test) is a new, but welcome, thing. His artistic tastes are maturing, too--he is into more grownup movies and he can handle fake/fantasy movie violence just fine now (no nightmares for him!). He is really interested in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid book series, mostly, I think, because it's a glimpse into what kids at the next stage of life are doing and how they behave. Granted, the kids in the books are school kids, so much of what they do and how they behave is shaped by that experience which Ryan does not and will not have, but still. I remember being curious about that kind of stuff, too. He is interested in Wesley Crusher of Star Trek: TNG for similar reasons, I think. He's learning all about Positive Discipline, too, and we have many discussions about parenting with him. Which is fun and interesting. And disconcerting when I find him with his nose in one of my parenting books. And slightly irritating when he tries to call me out on what he thinks is a mistake (with him or with his siblings). :D

We still have a problem finding real work for him to do. He can mow our lawn, but that will only need to happen a few more times over the next couple of months, and then he'll be on hiatus until spring. He has agreed to help me declutter and sell some things on eBay, so I'll be teaching him how to do that. As he gets good and independent with that, I'll let him keep a higher percentage of the sales. Finding work for him to do and learn will continue to be a challenge for us and him until he's closer to the official work age. Even the local libraries won't let you volunteer unless you're 16! I have a whole rant/blog post thing in my head on this topic, so I'll be writing more about this later.

Physically, he's still a solid, strong kid, though on the short side (apparently a Casey family trait). I wish he'd pick up TKD or gynmastics or something because I think he'd enjoy it and excel at that kind of thing, but this is one of those things on the Resistance (aka, Reason is Futile) List. Also, he seems to behave and handle things much better if he's had some hard physical activity, so yet another reason for him to move. Since he won't join a sport, I've been making sure to provide and encourage such movement at home. Once he gets going (if you can get him past the Resistance), it's hard to stop him!

To sum up, Ryan is a challenge and a delight all at the same time. Always has been. Always will be, I expect.

Morgan is 6 years and 6 months (well, in just a few days). She is beginning to really blossom into an individual, out from under the shadow of the big brother just a bit. She has a sense of who she is and what she is like, and she's trying on different roles and personas (personae?) as a way of figuring this out some more. For example, she has recently decided that she is a tomboy, and therefore, all of the princess-y stuff in the house must go. We had some friends over yesterday and her four year old friend left with many of Morgan's old purses and Disney Princess/Tinkerbell stuff. Which is fine, because I need help decluttering.

She is physically very adventurous, my Monkey Girl, and started taking gymnastics about six weeks ago. She LOVES it. I've been watching her in class and she is really picking things up and despite being pretty small for her age, and sort of willowy/wispy, she's pretty strong. They moved her up to the next level (still a beginner class) so she'll start that next week. It's fun to watch her do and enjoy something that I did and enjoyed for many years. Sometimes she comes to CrossFit with me and works out, which she enjoys even more than gymnastics, I think. I've told her that gymnastics and CF are very, very similar, and she likes that she is learning how to do some of the things grownups (in particular, Mommy) do. At CF, she runs with me and does a kid WOD with crazy enthusiasm. After gymnastics class, she tells me all of the things she did that are CrossFit-y, and we always compare notes. It's kind of fun. I am glad that my gym is fine with me bringing her occasionally and letting her work out and play on the rings (I'm trying to get Ryan to come, too--he's come with me, but has only observed and not participated). At Morgan's request, I'm going to consult the CrossFit Kids website and give her a WOD to do at home on a semi-regular basis.

She is the opposite of Ryan when it comes to taking suggestions. She is willing to learn pretty much anything that anyone suggests. And she has the initiative and independence to follow her own pursuits, too--she's not just waiting around for suggestions from others, I mean. She is studying two languages right now (with some help from our friends) and is plugging away at piano almost entirely independently. She is reading all over the place. She was seriously disappointed that it wasn't time for her to take a standardized test (evidence that she is related to me after all!), and is a bit jealous that Ryan "gets" to do it. She wants to try everything and anything, and when she takes to something, she does it with her hyper-laser-focus thing.

One thing that has been a challenge is her tendency to (seemingly) turn off her brain when she thinks someone else is there to handle a problem. An example of this has been in parking lots. If she's holding my hand, she doesn't feel the need to be vigilant for cars. It's nice that she trusts me, but it's also led to her being nearly clobbered by shopping carts, people, curbs. Thankfully, no close calls with cars. I've found a way to manage that so that it's improving, and I'll probably talk about it on a podcast soon.

She is patient and kind to her brothers (almost to a fault), and is more than willing to read aloud to Sean and help him find things, and play and play with him. Those two are beginning to be good friends. I'm trying not to abuse this too much--it would be so easy to send him to her for ALL of his problems, but I know that's really my job. She and Ryan get along fine, but there is definitely a different dynamic there, and she tends to put up with more, ah, crap from him than I think she ought. She's also got a group of friends we know through our homeschool co-op, mostly girls, but some boys, too. She eats lunch with them instead of me and the boys, and they do a lot of giggling together.

Mostly, life with Morgan is fairly easy and pleasant. When we can get her attention, that is. :D

Last, but not least, Sean, who is 3 years and 3 months. He is really turning into his own person, and that person is LOUD. In many ways, he reminds me powerfully of Ryan at this age--the imagination has kicked in and goes full blast (up to 11), and the Talk Button seems permanently set to ON.

What's different is that Sean has yet to hit the tantrum thing. I'm still waiting for it. It seems impossible, having gone through two Three Things already, that Sean could skip over this phase of child development. Oh sure, he's got a temper. This kid can go from Rainbows and Sunshine to RAGE in a split second. Often to my amusement. And he definitely gets angry for the general reasons my other three year olds got angry--when reality refuses to conform to what he has in his mind, and when people (even Mommy) refuse to be bossed. But none of his fits has lasted longer than twenty minutes or so, and he'll even go days in between a large-ish fit, which baffles me. I truly can't decide if it's a personality thing, or if he just hasn't hit the crest of this fun developmental stage yet. Only time will tell, and I dare not hope it's just a personality thing. I mean, his personality is different, and I can tell that he is definitely a Blow Up & Blow Over kind of guy. However, I probably won't relax about this until he's either had a two hour fit or is five years old, whichever comes first. It's probably best for me to remember that the worst of the Threes didn't hit until more like Three And A Half anyway. So remind me about this post in a few months.

Sean is super into video games (watching and playing) and kitty cats (he wants to be a kitty for Halloween) and anything vehicular and robots and he loves books. One funny thing that he does is he yells abuse at his video games when something isn't going the way he wants. It's sooooooo funny. Well, not to him, and I am mindful of the fact that his feelings are real and not to be made fun of. So I do my laughing inside. But still. Highly amusing.

He's got a new list of things he's afraid of: bugs of all kinds, especially spiders and butterflies, and smoke alarms (they're so freaking loud). But he's also moving past some previous fears. Robots, for example. He has always been a little freaked by robots and now really likes them, and sometimes pretends to be one. During his freak-out stage, he'd talk and talk and talk about robots, and I think over time he's just worked his way through to the other side. Here's hoping the incessant butterfly discussions begin soon.

He can read three letter words with some effort, but doesn't seem to want to put in that effort all that often. Either that, or his brain has switched over from deciphering how to read to something different. I've noticed each of my kids doing that--as soon as they hit some kind of brain milestone, they abandon it for a while to go to something else.

He's a solid guy, weighing only about five pounds less than Morgan. He is pretty coordinated, too, and tends toward cautiousness (another way he's like Ryan). He is very conservative when it comes to climbing or new playground equipment, but once he's decided to do it, he is completely confident and rarely falls. Sean painted a picture for the first time the other day and spilled not a drop, for real! I felt a bit guilty because I haven't given him lots of crafting opportunities--mostly because my years with Morgan have taught me that craft projects are fraught with extreme mess. But really, it's craft projects with Morgan that are fraught with extreme mess (she got very messy with the same painting project, actually). So now I need to remember that three year olds love to paint and cut things and splash in water and give him chances to do that. He's not fully potty trained, but he's well on his way. And he is not fully weaned yet, but getting very close. Bittersweet, that.

One great thing about the last six months or so is that Sean is more and more independent, and can manage many daily tasks on his own. He gets his own breakfast and can make me coffee in the Keurig and feeds the cat and gets the mail. Stuff like that. It's really freed up a lot of my time! He's also able to separate from me much more easily--at homeschool co-op, for example, I can leave him for five or ten minutes coloring a picture or playing with a toy while I go in search of one of the other kids. Last spring, I'd have had to take him with me, and probably carry him, too. He goes outside in the backyard all by himself and will stay out there for a good long while, just playing and looking and talking to himself. It's not unusual for me to go several hours without needing to do anything with him or for him because he's off in the yard or in another room of the house, occupied with his own affairs. And he's also officially one of the gang now, and plays very well with his siblings. He's old enough to enjoy their games and add to their enjoyment, too, and has very little (if any) issues with impulse-control issues such as hitting or throwing toys.

Sean is still his funny, sunny self. Except when he's not. :D

So that's what's what with the kids lately. This post took a long time to write--over a couple of hours, with stops and starts and interruptions and thinking. I might add to it as I think of more things about each kid.

*For the record, I don't really have a problem with standardized testing as such, but I mostly have a problem with the state stepping in to make this decision for us. I think learning to take standardized tests is a useful life skill, but I'm also not convinced that if you don't do your first one at 9--or 8 or 7 or 6--it's a skill you can't pick up later on. And while I'm looking forward to seeing the results, I expect them to confirm my own personal assessment of where Ryan is and how he's doing.

Must. Share. Can't. Resist.

2011-09-21T12:23:00.000-04:00

I think every kid in the universe with a big head and wispy hair needs this shirt:

Don't you?

Preparing

2011-09-20T13:06:00.000-04:00

Okay, so this is the post where I out myself as a possible CrazyPerson. (Enjoy!)

I don't know if you've noticed, but the economy is kind of crap, and we've been enjoying a nice long slide for many years now. This is concerning to me, because in addition to personal health and the health of my loved ones, I also like a healthy economy.

So maybe you agree or not, but I'm not seeing our economy improving significantly over the next five or ten years. I sure hope it does, and I'll certainly be doing my very best to promote the ideas that can effect that kind of positive change.

However, we have been taking some steps to mitigate the crappiness that we are currently having to deal with, and preparing for future crappier-ness, too--just in case. Some of the things in our general plan include(d):

Revamping our personal financial health. Over the past three years, we have paid off credit card debt, refinanced the house, shifted assets here and there, played many games of Musical Investments. We've cut expenses where we could--no more cable or satellite, the basic phone land line (which we never answer, sorry to everyone who calls it!), getting rid of subscriptions, etc. We sold Brendan's beautiful, beautiful car because his commute changed from 8 miles round trip to 54 miles and we just couldn't afford to keep fueling that car up with gas.

We now have a budget and are (generally) good at sticking to it. Today we are WAY better off than we were three years ago, and we are always reviewing our financial picture to find ways to improve it.

Improving my personal health. Over the past decade, but especially the past two years, I have been working on improving my own health. This is good thing to do even when the economy is SUPER OSSUM, of course. And I was well on my way toward making these same improvements without economic concerns.

But I do have them. If we get national health care, it's in my best interest to be in the best shape and best health possible. Because socialized medicine will necessarily result in shortages that will have adverse effects. In fact, sometimes when I need motivation to finish a workout at CrossFit, I will chant to myself "ObamaCare, ObamaCare" and somehow that helps me reach a little deeper down to make it through the workout. I really do this, and sometimes my coach will come up to me mid-WOD and say it to me: "ObamaCare!"

So in addition to losing lots of weight and doing the CrossFit, I've actually found a primary care practice for myself. It's a family practice, so the kids and I are all going to the same place now, and Brendan will be switching over, too. I need to get all up to date on my shots, too. Fun.

Preparing. We've always had a half-assed emergency kit. In Atlanta, we are not subject to many natural disasters, so I'd never really felt the need to go, well, whole-assed with it. When I was a teenager, we lived south of Houston on the Gulf Coast and you better believe that my parents had a really well-stocked hurricane kit. And we used it more than once. But here? We had those awful floods two years ago. That kind of got my attention. And, we did get a hurricane (Opal) once, and we get occasional tornadoes (like a couple of weeks ago), and once we even had an earthquake (in 2003). But generally, we're safe from natural disasters.

The thing that really made me think of getting our emergency kit together wasn't the floods or the tornadoes, though. It was when we had a gasoline shortage here, because of storms and hurricanes elsewhere. It's important to recognize that even if you think everything is hunky-dory in your immediate vicinity, what happens somewhere else far away can affect your daily life, too.

That gas shortage REALLY got my attention. Because even though I do generally appreciate producers of wealth and the processes by which wealth gets created, having to drive and drive to find a gas station that had any gas at all to sell really drove home this point: THIS STUFF DOESN'T JUST MAGICALLY APPEAR FROM NOWHERE.

People have to DO things to make this stuff show up at convenient places for people like me to purchase them. And when people can't do those things--whether the cause is natural (like a hurricane), or whether the cause is man-made (like doing things to the economy that will create shortages)--when people can't do the things they need to in order to produce and deliver products, we will ALL suffer the consequences.

I even wrote a post about this at the time and here is what I said back in 2008 (emphasis added, wasn't in original post):

One final musing: when things rumble and bump in our economy, due to natural causes or government-made ones, shortages like our gas situation are going to occur. Big bumps, big problems. In my more paranoid moments, I wonder what will happen if the economy goes boom! I shouldn't take it for granted that I'll be able to find gasoline. Or insulin. How hard will that be to find in an emergency, with the government "helping" with price ceilings and regulations that will shackle the very people who make it and the people who need it. It's very scary to contemplate showing up at the pharmacy and facing an insulin shortage. Because you just expect it to be there, just like you expect gasoline to be at the gas station. Damn.

Insulin is kind of a big thing here, a deal breaker, if you will. Argentina had some pretty major economic issues a few years ago, and insulin became scarce. This will happen in America, too, if (when) things get bad enough. Just like the gas shortage in Atlanta.

So I've been stocking up on medicine (did you know that many medicines are still good past the expiration date?) and food and batteries and stuff. We have a plan for conserving insulin and needles. With Ryan's Epi-pens--well, we're kind of screwed because that medicine is one of the few that really doesn't last well past the expiration date. Though he'll be fine if he can avoid peanuts, which he can do, though that means I've had to be extra careful about what kinds of food we put into our emergency kit.

And I've got a list of what we've got, what we still need, and the "nice-to-haves." I've got expiration dates on my inventory list, too, so I can easily check what might be expiring (food-wise, mostly), and rotate those items out for immediate consumption and replace them with items with expirations further in the future.

There are still more things I'd like to do to prepare. I am interested in learning to grow more of our own food. Again, this falls into the "good to know even when the economy is rocking" category. I am interested in learning to do things like general car repairs (oil changes, etc) as a way to cut down on expenses. I'd like to learn to do many things to be more self-sufficient, if only because it'll be cheaper and hey, knowledge is power!

So. There you have it. If you, too, are a fellow Paranoid CrazyPerson, feel free to drop me a line or leave a comment and give me more ideas about preparing for disasters (natural and man-made)!

Stepping on the September Roller Coaster Of Awesome

2011-09-16T09:47:00.001-04:00

Am I really lazier in the summer, or are there really that many more fun things to do in the fall? Here's my schedule for the next week:

Today: Homeschool Day at the Carlos Museum to look at mummies (lots of ATLOS moms [dads?] and kids are going, woohoo!), then tonight, the annual pirate party at our friends' house. No I do not have a costume, and I still have yet to find a Captain Morgan's Rum shirt for Miss Morgan. Ah well.

Saturday: Livy's birthday party and then out to dinner for our anniversary which is today--Happy 16th Anniversary, Brendan! Yes, we rearranged our anniversary dinner in order to attend the pirate party. It's all about priorities.

Sunday: A paleo picnic with friends (we might win a cow!) which I haven't completely decided if I'm doing, and a crafter's circle with friends, which I haven't completely decided if I'm doing. Why haven't I decided if I'm doing those awesomely fun things? Because I am too overwhelmed to think about it right now.

Monday: Homeschool Day at the Chattahoochee Nature Center, including learning about animals and hiking.

Tuesday: Going to pick some apples up in Ellijay with homeschool friends, then the ATLOS Happy Hour in the evening.

Wednesday: Our usual busy day--homeschool co-op and then Morgan's gymnastics.

Thursday: A long-planned, oft-delayed gathering (they're too old for "playdates" I think) for Ryan and a couple of his friends. They'll all come over here and ~~destroy his room~~ make movies and have fun. I'm REALLY looking forward to this!

Friday: BREATHE.

Next Saturday: A long hike with folks from ATLOS over Kennesaw Mountain.

Next Sunday: Brendan has to work, which means I have to work, but at least it's a day off of activities before the next week's activities resume!

And this doesn't include my regular visits to CrossFit, which I hope will resume at my normal pace now that I've recovered (mostly) from this cold. Or trips to the grocery store or other errands. Or read-alouds and long discussions about military weapons from WWII or DNA. Or fooling around on the internets.

Okay. Do not misunderstand me here. I LOVE doing all of these things. I LOVE doing all of these things with so many People of Awesome.

Every September this happens. I step on the Busy Train and then the next thing I know, it's mid-January. On one hand, I love being busy and having lots to do and seeing lots of things and having lots of wonderful people to do these things with. On the other hand, I need to figure out how to slow down time or something because I do not want to look up and discover that it's already next year.

Solutions? Thoughts? Should I just suck it up and enjoy the ride? (Seriously considering that option this year.)

In the meantime, I need to go . . . gotta start planning for pumpkin-patching and Halloween and fall hikes and maybe a trip or two up to the cabin!

Time Travel Tuesday: Assume Positive Intent

2011-09-13T13:55:00.000-04:00

I mentioned this post yesterday, and since Assume Positive Intent is on my mind, I thought I'd feature it for my TTT post.

Back to these kids and their misbehaviors. Or maybe we should reframe that word, look it as a contraction of sorts: mis(taken)behaviors, instead of mis-- as in "wrong?" Anyway.
So, shrieking in my ear? You want my attention, and are attempting to get it in a mistaken way.
Grabbing toys from your baby brother? You believe it to be in your self-interest to have a turn with that toy, and are going about fulfilling it in a non-rights-respecting way.
Want to eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch, dinner, elevensies, second breakfast, etc.? Not in your rational self-interest over the long-term.
Think the only way to resolve a conflict with another is to resort to your fists, or run and hide and pretend there is no conflict, or always give in to the other person's demands? None of those strategies are rational (using brute force, evasion, or subverting your self-interests to another's).

In each of those instances of mistaken goals, or pursuing self-interest irrationally, a parent may (but perhaps not always) need to step in and guide, communicate, restrict, provide teaching or a tool, or set a limit in a dozen ways. This assumption of positive intent, the realization that the child is attempting to satisfy his self-interest in a mistaken or irrational manner, really helps shape MY attitude in dealing with the mis(taken)behavior. (I like that!)

Check out the rest of the post here.

Note: assuming positive intent does not mean that you ignore the fact that sometimes little Johnny behaves a certain way simply to make you (or his siblings crazy). Sometimes, they behave the way they do in order to make people--especially YOU--crazy. As I recall from personal experience, this phenomenon is especially prevalent in the teenage years.

Even when it's clear that your son is ah, positively intending to make his sister scream, Assume Positive Intent is a reminder to recognize that there might be other kinds of intentions underlying the behavior as well. Maybe he wants some attention from you or someone else. Maybe he's bored. Maybe he needs to blow off steam. Or maybe not--maybe the sound of his sister screaming is music to his ears (I'd bet money on that, actually).

Even if it turns out that what the child positively intends to do is make people crazy, API reminds me not to begin my parenting interaction with that assumption. I am reminded to consider alternatives. To look for clues as to what else might be going on. To give the benefit of the doubt. To offer a chance for him to provide more information. To see him beautiful.

API is a starting point only. But it's a great starting point, a benevolent universe premise kind of starting point. Because otherwise it's really easy to fall into the habit of assuming that a child behaves in a certain way due to one and only one reason, and usually the worst negative reason I can imagine. Giving the benefit of the doubt, assuming positive intent, helps me act on the benevolent universe premise as well as helps me keep our communication a little less defensive and combative. WIN-WIN.

Podcast #20: Talking about Parenting Ideas with Your Kids

2011-09-12T18:39:00.001-04:00

We are happy to bring you yet another exciting episode of Cultivating the Virtues! This episode is a whole lot funnier than the others somehow. . . we laugh a lot. Yay!

Situation of the Week (Kelly): "Storming off in a museum because of a pottery disagreement" If you want that to make sense, you have to listen!

Topic: Talking about your parenting ideas and principles with your kids (begins 7:05)

Link: Parenting Principles at Rational Jenn

Q & A: When (if ever) should you intervene with other people's kids in public situations? (begins 24:24)

Podcast Powered By Podbean

As always, send us feedback and comments, we'd love to hear them! And send us questions, too.

See Me Beautiful: A Reminder to Assume Positive Intent

2011-09-12T11:17:00.000-04:00

This morning, a friend of mine told me about this song, See Me Beautiful. I challenge you not to tear up as you listen:

Here are the lyrics:

See me beautiful,
look for the best in me.
That's what I really am,
and all I want to be.
It may take some time
It may be hard to find,
but see me beautiful.
See me beautiful,
each and every day.
Could you take a chance?
Could you find a way?
To see me shining through
in everything I do
and see me beautiful.

My friend's kids' preschool classes sang it to the parents at the end of the year. He pointed out what an Assume Positive Intent kind of song it is.

It is, a lovely reminder to spend a little more time trying to understand the whys behind what they are doing, knowing that will help me know better what to do with the behaviors mis-taken.

Because my children ARE beautiful and I do see them that way (though that beautiful shine sometimes gets covered up by screaming or coloring on carpet or arguing). Because when they wake up in the mornings, they wake up full of awesome.

The One About Chicago MiniCon

2011-09-07T18:13:00.000-04:00

In the last week, I've been to Chicago and back. By car. Actually, over the course of four and a half actual days.

That ought to explain why blogging's been light. Which it does, though the light blogging was somewhat unintentional as it coincided with some technical problems (Hello, Google! The new Blogger publishing thingie does not seem to work with my CHROME browser. Just sayin'--as I'm blogging again from Safari just fine.)

Why Chicago? I went to attend and participate in the Chicago Objectivist Society's first conference. This makes, if you're playing along at home, FOUR conferences for me this year! Two conferences (SnowCon and the Chicago MiniCon) I participated in as a speaker only, and one I spoke at and also helped to throw (ATLOSCon), and one I went as a regular attendee (OCON).

Dude, that's a lot of conferences! But fun.

Here's something I noticed that is common to all four: I never have nearly enough time to hang out with people. Perhaps this is due to something I'm doing wrong, or maybe it's endemic to conferencing in general. Really what I think I want is to go to all of the conferences, and then also to have just a big vacation somewhere with my favorite people.

Anyway, it was great to see everyone again, even though I feel like I barely spent any time with any of you. And it was great to meet lots of people for the first time, even though I feel like I barely spent any time with you!

The best part of this conference is that although Chicago is somewhat inconveniently located from Atlanta, my in-laws live there, and so we brought the kids up to Nonnie's for the weekend. They had a BALL, though I think Nonnie (and Auntie and Uncle) were all a bit tired by the time we returned to ~~rescue~~ see them. And since our anniversary is in a couple of weeks, we considered two nights away from the kids in order to attend a conference a lovely anniversary celebration.

Some highlights:

A detour in Indianapolis on the way up found us at a fast food place right next door to my old pediatrician's office. No joke. He was the guy who stitched up my head when I was five.

Our travel days were hectic (especially our arrival day), but the kids mainly handled the long hours in the car with grace and aplomb. And I now have Phineas & Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension completely memorized. Which is not a bad thing at all.

About an hour after learning about Louis Sullivan from my friend Earl Parson, we (accidentally) found one of his buildings, right there in Chicago, imagine that! I was really rather ridiculously (and surprisingly) excited about that.

I got to take a Touching the Art Tour with Luc Travers for the first time! I played it cool, but he nearly made me cry with an observation about a painting of Elaine. Also, Nathan Hale was pretty cool.

I learned about the difference between anxiety and fear (and got a dose of self-revelation, too), heard a nice talk about rational responses to making mistakes (very much in line with Yippee Mistakes!), learned some things about asset protection (and have a to-do list along those lines), and listened to a fascinating talk about gold and fiat currency.

My talk about using tools from Positive Discipline in all of your relationships (not just with kids) went pretty well, I think, and some discussion afterwards has given me some ideas on how to improve it for next time. It felt weird to be up there without Kelly, but I represented Cultivating the Virtues just fine. :D If you were in attendance, I'd love some feedback about my talk, the delivery as well as content.

Always fun to meet other Objectivists, and I most especially enjoyed the conversations I had with other group leaders. I think it's awesome that so many community groups are popping up all over the country and that we are all getting to know each other in person. These regional conferences are an excellent way to network and swap ideas and thus make things even more awesome all around!

I drank wine for the first time in about seven weeks! It was pretty good, but I don't now crave it like I'd imagined I might. So that's good, because sadly, it's pretty clear that wine consumption wasn't doing me any favors in the losing weight department. Hmph.

I ate a Reese's peanut butter cup for the first time in many years. That was a bad thing, for it was better than I ever remembered and I want to eat them all the time, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Only Ryan's peanut allergy is stopping me from inhaling these all over the place. Well, they aren't really good for you either. Yeah, that's what's stopping me.

It was nice not to be Mommy for a couple of days and spend time with my hubby, too.

There's more--those are the highlights, as I said. We'll definitely do it again. I was happy to attend and happy to participate.

It was great to get to go to Chicago, great to attend the conference, and great to see our family up there, too. And now I'm looking forward to a great fall with a whole lot of regular routine going on. I think I'm all done traveling for a while.

Unless I can somehow swing things so I can go to the NYOS conference in November. :D

Time Travel Tuesday: Mythbusting Positive Discipline

2011-08-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

I'm heading to Chicago this weekend to attend the Chicago Objectivist Society's MiniCon and talk just a bit about Positive Discipline! Specifically, I'll be focusing on the really awesomely effective problem-solving and communication techniques that I've learned through my study of PD, and how they can be used with all of our relationships, not just between parent and child.

It's my first solo gig, as Kelly won't be joining me in Chicago, so that should be an interesting experience. I was only half-joking about bringing a life-size cardboard cut-out of her to pretend to talk to. :P

Anyway, Positive Discipline is a set of parenting ideas and tools that facilitate good communication and mutual, respectful problem-solving. It is non-punitive and anti-reward-systems, which puts PD proponents like me at odds with those who promote more conventional parenting ideas (including the ones we were raised with).

PD is sometimes a source of misunderstanding between parents. When people hear that we do not punish our children and that we do not use reward systems (like gold stars or prizes) for good behavior, sometimes they are under the impression that anything goes at our house, that we live in crazy chaos (which is, admittedly, sometimes true, but not because of PD) where our children's whims determine what happens around here.

Nothing could be further from the truth. But this misconception is understandable because non-punitive/non-reward-system discipline is very different from what most of us experienced as children, and, I think too, because it is at odds with some underlying (perhaps unexamined) premises held about child development and behavior, the goal of parenting, cultural norms and expectations, etc. some of which I've tried to examine in other blog posts.

In this week's Time Travel Tuesday post, "Mythbusting Positive Discipline" (originally posted in January of this year), I tried to address some of the common misconceptions about what non-punitive discipline/PD entails, and I think I did a pretty good job. I'll share one misconception here, but check out the rest of the post.

The Pollyanna Myth: Positive Discipline means everyone is happy all the time!

I think this misunderstanding is rooted in the word "positive" (though now that I think about it, perhaps most of the misunderstandings are for the same reason). Indeed, Jane Nelsen, who coined the term, has said that this is something she hears a lot, too.

The fact of the matter is--SPOILER ALERT for all you non-parents--sometimes the child will be less-than-thrilled at what you have to say or do. And those times are not all that fun for Mom and Dad either. Parenting is fun and challenging and very rewarding--but it's not all puppies and rainbows (no matter which discipline method you use).

There's another myth I'd like to address at some point which was not included in that post, the myth that kids who are not punished will grow up to be whim-worshipers. But I'll do that another time.

I'd love to answer more questions about the whys and wherefores of non-punitive discipline, either here on my blog, or on our podcast, so please ask! You can leave a comment here, or if you have a podcast question, leave it at our Google moderator page.

See you in Chicago, I hope!

Great News from The Undercurrent!

2011-08-29T06:19:00.007-04:00

I am pleased to pass along this message from the publisher of The Undercurrent:

Dear Potential Supporter,

In his lecture at this summer’s Objectivist conference, Yaron Brook, President of the Ayn Rand Institute, reflected on the first 50 years of the Objectivist movement. During that session, Dr. Brook stated that if we are to succeed in changing the culture, "we need more than an Institute: we need a movement."

We at The Undercurrent wholeheartedly agree, and we think a key part of the Objectivist movement needs to be a student movement. For the upcoming academic year, we're planning a number of programs designed to spark an Objectivist student movement on college campuses.

To make these programs possible, we're asking for your support.

Foremost among our 2011-2012 programs is an event called "Capitalism Awareness Week." This week-long event will consist of a series of lectures and discussions at different college campuses across the country. Each lecture will be broadcast live via the Internet so students elsewhere may participate.

This event follows in the footsteps of last Spring's virtual campus lecture, "Ideas Matter: Ayn Rand's Message to Today's World", which was broadcast to 20 other campuses live and attained a student audience of just over 600. (If you haven't seen it, that lecture is available to view here: http://bit.ly/aynrandideas.)

For this and other programs, we're seeking to raise $40,000 for the upcoming academic year. I hope you can help us as we fight to change the culture.

For a limited time, your contribution can be multiplied! Diana and Paul Hsieh have graciously offered to match donations up to a $1,000 limit and perhaps beyond that.

However, you must donate by August 31st to take advantage of this matching grant!

For more information on our plans for the year, I invite you to browse through our donor package. And if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Best Regards,

Jared Seehafer

Publisher

The Undercurrent

jared@the-undercurrent.com

To make a one-time donation:

To make a recurring donation, visit our donation page and follow the instructions for “Recurring Monthly Payments”.

I am looking forward to Capitalism Awareness Week myself. Only a couple of days left to get your donation in! Do it today!

Insanely Great

2011-08-25T13:58:00.001-04:00

Our tribute to Steve Jobs (and Steve Wozniak and the others who made Apple possible) is displayed wherever we go, on the back window of our minivan:

This is a terrific article at the Wall Street Journal, "Steve Jobs's Best Quotes." One of my favorites was this one (my emphasis):

“We think the Mac will sell zillions, but we didn’t build the Mac for anybody else. We built it for ourselves. We were the group of people who were going to judge whether it was great or not. We weren’t going to go out and do market research. We just wanted to build the best thing we could build.

Compare what he said to this quotation from Ayn Rand:

No creator was prompted by a desire to serve his brothers, for his brothers rejected the gift he offered and that gift destroyed the slothful routine of their lives. His truth was his only motive. His own truth, and his own work to achieve it in his own way. A symphony, a book, an engine, a philosophy, an airplane or a building—that was his goal and his life. Not those who heard, read, operated, believed, flew or inhabited the thing he had created. The creation, not its users. The creation, not the benefits others derived from it. The creation which gave form to his truth. He held his truth above all things and against all men.

His vision, his strength, his courage came from his own spirit. A man’s spirit, however, is his self. That entity which is his consciousness. To think, to feel, to judge, to act are functions of the ego.

The creators were not selfless. It is the whole secret of their power—that it was self-sufficient, self-motivated, self-generated. A first cause, a fount of energy, a life force, a Prime Mover. The creator served nothing and no one. He lived for himself.

And only by living for himself was he able to achieve the things which are the glory of mankind. Such is the nature of achievement.

--Ayn Rand, "The Soul of the Individualist," For the New Intellectual, page 77 (via the online Ayn Rand Lexicon)

Some more favorite quotations from the WSJ article:

“That’s been one of my mantras — focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”

“I’m an optimist in the sense that I believe humans are noble and honorable, and some of them are really smart. I have a very optimistic view of individuals. As individuals, people are inherently good. I have a somewhat more pessimistic view of people in groups. And I remain extremely concerned when I see what’s happening in our country, which is in many ways the luckiest place in the world. We don’t seem to be excited about making our country a better place for our kids.”

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle."

I composed this post on my iPad 2 and on my Mac Mini. We have no fewer than 15 Apple devices in current usage in our home. We have always been big Apple fans, and Steve Jobs is one of my heroes, a true producer and creator.

Thank you, Steve Jobs, for selfishly pursuing your insanely great dreams.

Podcast #19: Let's Talk about Sex

2011-08-23T10:13:00.001-04:00

Okay, so we skipped putting out a podcast last week, so we're making up for it by posting a REALLY INTERESTING podcast this time. :D

Situation of the Week (Jenn): Teaching kids what to do instead of just fussing at them for making mistakes. Amazing how helpful that is.

Links: On Minilectures at Rational Jenn

Topic: Talking to your kids about sex. Yes, there is some explicit discussion here, so be aware of your surroundings when listening! (begins 6:02)

Links: It's Not the Stork: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library) and It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (The Family Library) (that's the book we couldn't remember the name of)

Q & A: What is the best way to deal with rude behavior that is not physically aggressive such as name-calling or sticking your tongue out, particularly in very young children? (begins 31:17)

Podcast Powered By Podbean

Please send us comments and feedback and give us more questions to answer in future podcasts! And thanks for listening!

The One About the Lemonade Stand

2011-08-22T09:19:00.003-04:00

Wow, it's been a while since I've updated the blog! Too many interesting things going on in real life these days.

One of the interesting things was Lemonade Freedom Day, which was Saturday. My kids had their first lemonade stand ever and they had tons of fun. Their friend Livy (Kelly's daughter) was here for the whole thing from start to finish.

On Friday, we made a list of supplies we'd need: lemonade mix (we went with Country Time), ice, water, cups, napkins and cookies. Then I took all four kids to the grocery store to buy the supplies. I bought a pitcher at the last minute, which I donated to the cause.

They spent a long time deliberating over their purchases: do we buy cheap foam cups or slightly more expensive plastic cups? (They opted for cheap.) How many cups and napkins do we need? How many boxes of cookies (our most costly supply) were ideal?

When we got home, I wrote out the cost information so they'd know how much they needed to pay me back out of their revenue.

I was willing to donate some of the supplies if business was really terrible because part of the reason we were doing this in the first place was due to MY desire to be part of the Lemonade Freedom Day protest, so it seems only fair that I'd be willing to eat (so to speak) some of the costs. But I also wanted some of my money back, too. So they learned that you need some start-up capital to get a business going, and that you also need to pay that capital back to your backer. :D No, I did not charge interest on the loan, which is good because Ryan was pretty disappointed to learn that this seed money was just a loan.

Next they needed to set the prices. I made only one suggestion during this process and that had to do with the cookies, which were our most expensive supply as I said. I helped them realize that their original price was probably set too low if they wanted to recover their costs/make a profit. Then they agreed on a name for their business: "Casey and Friends Lemonade Stand."

Morgan, Livy, and Sean were on the marketing/graphic design team and created a sign:

Ryan didn't want to work on the sign, and volunteered to handle all the money. Nobody is surprised by this, I'm sure. While the others worked on signage, he counted out quarters to bring to make change for customers.

The final thing they did to prepare for the business was to make a practice pitcher or two of lemonade. Best to know the recipe before you have thirsty customers! It's a good thing they practiced, too, because we learned about the importance of A.) not throwing the lemonade label in the trash, and B.) reading the instructions helpfully provided on the label. Yippee Mistakes!

Saturday morning was a beautiful summer morning. Hot. Just the right kind of day for lemonade-standing, we thought. I went off to CrossFit, so Brendan helped them get their table out into the yard and get everything set up. The jugs of water had been in the cooler all night and were nice and cold. They mixed up some lemonade, opened up some cookies, put out their shingle and were open for business!

When I returned from CrossFit, they hadn't had very many customers, but they were enjoying the business and seemed to enjoy their own wares, too. They agreed that any of the principals of the company would need to purchase lemonade and cookies just like any customer, which is a good practice, I think. So they kept running back inside and showing up with money to buy themselves more lemonade and cookies. I bought a cookie and lemonade and they were super-delicious!

More customers came, including a family I've known online for many years, but we've never met in person. They have two kids with food allergies and as we were serving safe cookies, they made an effort to come to the lemonade stand. All of the kids played and ate cookies and got to know each other and I had a great time chatting with my online-now-real-life-friend! :D :D :D The kids had a couple more neighborhood customers, then our friends Martin and Melissa, who do not live at all close to us, dropped by.

I loved how the kids handled EVERYTHING. They mixed up lemonade and handed out cookies on napkins and managed the money. There were long stretches of time when Brendan and I were inside with Sean (who did NOT like working the lemonade stand on such a hot day) or just chatting with friends and neighbors. In fact, I did absolutely nothing to help them on Saturday and the only thing Brendan did was help them move the table.

After it was over, they counted their money and ended up with a profit of a little over $15 which they split three ways. Sean didn't get a cut, because he didn't really help except for the sign. Also, he's three and doesn't care about money yet anyway. And I got my seed money back. :D (Venture Capitalist WIN!) Now, because the kids were raiding their piggy banks and wallets, I suspect there might have been some losses on the individual level, but the company made money, and that's all the accounting I was concerned with. (Probably if we were audited, some irregularities might be found.)

As for the freedom? The operated their lemonade stand without any problems. Apparently, while I was gone, one of the HOA board members came by and invited the kids to set up their business during a neighborhood event next weekend! So they booked another gig, how cool is that? :D

I'd explained to my older kids about Lemonade Freedom Day and what had happened down in South Georgia and how the reason I wanted to participate in this was to exercise our right to engage in free enterprise. Ryan was concerned about what might happen if the cops showed up. Once I reassured him that he would not be expected to pay any fines should it come to that, he was ready to participate!

I sincerely doubted any cops would show up and I'm very glad they didn't. (I still have no idea if the lemonade stand was legal or not, and I really don't care.) It's been suggested that it's not a real protest if the stand was legal, or if the cops didn't show up. I don't much agree with that. Even if legal or not shut down by the cops, it's standing up for an idea--albeit in a small tiny way--and that's the important part. It takes more courage to stand up for an idea when you know for a fact it's illegal, sure. But standing up for ideas at any time is still valuable, important, and necessary. So no, I'm not at all disappointed there wasn't a run-in with the cops.

The kids had an absolute blast planning, preparing, and running their business. I think they got a lot out of it (besides cookies and lemonade, I mean). I had lots of fun, too, because it's always fun when I get to explain Revenue - Cost = Profit. :D And it's always fun when I get to talk about Freedom.

Time Travel Tuesday: Tattling Tennis

2011-08-16T13:46:00.000-04:00

Alliteration FTW!

What is Tattling Tennis?

Here is the basic way I handle tattling, when a child tries to involve me in a problem she ought to handle on her own--I think of it as a tennis match. Let's take an example, and I'll show you.

Morgan: "MOM!!!! Ryan just threatened to cover me in snot balls!!!!!!" (the serve)

Me: "Well, what did you say to Ryan about that?" (the return)

Morgan: "Well I said 'I don't LIKE that, Ryan!' but he won't stop!" ('He won't stop' is a return to me, a request for me to do something rather than her. Fortunately this is an easy lob to hit as we're all in the car and I'm a direct witness to the events.)

Me: "It doesn't sound to me like he is continuing with the threats. Sounds like you handled it." (right back at her)

Morgan: "But MOM!" (her ball goes wild)

Me: "It sounds like you're still mad and that's okay. But you told Ryan how you felt and he stopped, so you handled this problem all by yourself." (Game, set, match!)

Basic premise: keep the ball (their problem with someone else) in their court. Consider this kind of tattling as an opportunity to hone problem-solving skills. Otherwise they'll learn to look for you to solve their problems, and I don't know about you, but I'm already busy enough solving my own problems.

I am playing Tattling Tennis a bit with Sean lately, and it occurred to me that I do it a bit differently with him, because he is three and still learning the problem-solving game. Today, he tattled on Ryan in the car:

S: "MOM! Ryan said that blahblahmumbleuntelligible is PLOPPY!"

FYI: ploppy is considered a deadly insult at our house for reasons still unknown to me.

Now if something like this had come from Morgan, I'd have asked her what I did in the scenario above: "What did you say to Ryan about that?"

But Sean doesn't know the rules yet, so I said: "Did you tell Ryan that you don't like it when he calls things ploppy?"

And Sean said: "Ryan I don't LIKE it when you call things ploppy." He'd have been hard-pressed to come up with those words in the heat of the moment, so by offering specific words to him as well as redirecting him back to the person he had a problem with, I gave him two kinds of help at the same time.

And Ryan said: "Okay!" and prepared to go on his merry. I intervened here and said to him "Could you tell Sean that you are not going to call his things ploppy anymore?" Which he did.

I needed Sean to hear Ryan say that so that he felt understood, and I needed Ryan to say it so that we all knew that he understood what was expected. Because he's the kind of kid who might later claim he didn't understand all of the implications of what Sean was asking. (Definitely a "letter of the law" kind of guy, that one.)

Sean must be getting the hang of things though, because he seemed to understand that he was to repeat after me when I gave him those original words to say. And soon, all I'll have to do is say to him "What did you say to Ryan about that?" Woohoo!

Morgan's Things I Want to Do and Learn List

2011-08-12T14:26:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, Morgan and I revisited her Things I Want to Know list from last year and created a new one, called the Things I Want to Do and Learn list.

My reasons for doing this are the same as they were last year: because I think the kids need to have a huge voice in what they are learning, and it gives them good experience in goal-setting and introspection. Also, this process helps me learn about their interests and goals, which helps me to know what resources and experiences I can provide, as well as suggestions I can make. I view the homeschooling mommy job as primarily providing resources and guidance (similar to management roles I've held), and knowing what they're thinking about helps me do my job.

So Morgan, all on her own, wanted to revisit last year's list and check off the things she accomplished. Here was her list from last year, with completed items marked through and my notes in italics:

Learn German, French, Russian, and Greek we really didn't do much on this at all

~~Chess Class (at co-op)~~

~~ASL Class (at co-op)~~

~~Read more Little House on the Prairie books (as read alouds)~~ but we didn't get through all of them

~~More read alouds: Harry Potter and Narnia books~~ we got through a book or two from each series

~~Library Trips~~ not as many as she'd have liked, mostly because I feel like we have a zillion books here we ought to look at occasionally

~~Writing practice, specifically focusing on holding the pen/pencil properly (she still tends to grip it with her fist)~~ a zillion times better!

~~DreamBox Math~~ though this is one of the things she doesn't find fun any more now that she's growing up, sigh

~~Play with math blocks (Cuisenaire rods)~~

Dog Art Class (her term)

Drawing Class (at co-op)

~~Piano~~

~~Arts and Crafts projects~~

Dog training (we don't have a dog, but we thought we'd read some books maybe) we did read a couple of books, but we decided not to mark this off

~~Go to the zoo and the park~~

~~Go hiking on mountains~~

~~Independent Reading~~: Junie B. Jones books, Nate the Great books, Ramona books she did some independent reading, but none of these books!

~~Cooking~~

~~Science Fair (at co-op)~~

So really, she accomplished quite a lot! She was so proud and excited to mark these off her list. She's list-y like me. :D

So we created her list for this year and it goes like this:

Learn multiplication

Study languages: French, German, Russian, Greek, and Spanish

Read more Little House on the Prairie, Harry Potter, and Narnia books

Read more of the Childhood of Famous Americans books

Library Trips (home and the actual library)

Piano and violin and saxophone

Gymnastics

Chess (at co-op)

ASL (at co-op)

Science Fair (at co-op)

Travel, specifically to Nonnie's to give her aunt's dog a bone (this old man came rolling home?)

Hiking

Pan for gold in Dahlonega

Learn drawing

Learn to knit

Learn about evolution

Watch science and history shows (documentaries)

Watch Star Trek and Rocky & Bullwinkle (this child is clearly related to my dad)

Play baseball (we have homeschool baseball in the spring)

Play the Wii (!!!)

Join a Brownie Troop (though upon investigating, I learned she is old enough for a Daisy troop instead of Brownies)

Quite a decent list! Keep in mind that none of these were MY suggestions (not even multiplication!). I limited my involvement to writing the list and reminding her of some of the ideas we've been talking about recently (such as which classes she is taking at co-op). And in true brainstorm fashion, I put everything on the list, even playing the Wii and Rocky & Bullwinkle. :D

There are three things on this list that I've committed to doing something about right away. First is gymnastics. This afternoon, she is going to attend a free trial of a gymnastics class and if she likes it, I'll sign her up for regular classes.

The other two things are languages and music. All indications from this child are that she is a little sponge and picks up both languages and music very readily. I'm going to let her try some Rosetta Stone programs at Kelly's house soon, and if Morgan likes them, we'll choose a language to order. I'm pretty certain she'll do just fine with a program like that.

The other thing I'm going to do is find her a place to take violin. She's way too small for saxophone (and where did she come up with that, I wonder!), but violin is something she's talked about pretty consistently and I've just dropped the ball on that. No more. And we are making a regular date on the calendar for piano lessons (which I can give to her at home for free).

And of course, she's signed up for co-op classes and has been practicing multiplication for the last few weeks, mostly independently, but with a little help from me.

So that's her list! I thought the variety and volume was pretty impressive coming from a six year old kid. The list is hanging prominently in the music room of our house, for us to refer to as the weeks and months go by, just like we did with last year's list. Ryan and I are planning to work on his list very soon, and hopefully he'll let me post the results here.

Objectivist Round Up #213

2011-08-11T10:33:00.001-04:00

Welcome to the August 11, 2011 edition of the Objectivist Round Up! We've got a great group of Objectivist bloggers who contribute to this weekly blog carnival. We write about all kinds of topics (check out this week's first post!), which makes for an interesting selection, I think.

Things have been stressful for the last week, and I must confess to letting things get me down a bit. But I've rallied (unlike the markets, sadly). Because I can't not fight. I can't not live my life and make the best of it I possibly can. I can't not try to be happy. There is something inside me that will not surrender easily. I guess I've got a touch of the Benevolent Universe Premise (emphasis added):

There is a fundamental conviction which some people never acquire, some hold only in their youth, and a few hold to the end of their days—the conviction that ideas matter . . . . That ideas matter means that knowledge matters, that truth matters, that one’s mind matters . . . .

Its consequence is the inability to believe in the power or the triumph of evil. No matter what corruption one observes in one’s immediate background, one is unable to accept it as normal, permanent or metaphysically right. One feels: “This injustice (or terror or falsehood or frustration or pain or agony) is the exception in life, not the rule.” One feels certain that somewhere on earth—even if not anywhere in one’s surroundings or within one’s reach—a proper, human way of life is possible to human beings, and justice matters.

Ayn Rand, “The Inexplicable Personal Alchemy,” Return of the Primitive: The Anti-Industrial Revolution, 122.

Yes, I truly believe this. That a proper, human way of life is possible, and as long as I believe that, I have to try to make it happen. Who's with me?

And now, on to the Round Up! Read. Think. Enjoy. (And tell your friends!)

Kate Yoak presents Domestic nudity posted at Parenting is..., saying, "Nudity is such a controversial issue. Is it ok? In the streets? At home? Between siblings? The simple answer is: mind your own business, be considerate and do what feels natural."

Benjamin Skipper presents Chocolate Review: Vosges' 62% Bacon posted at Musing Aloud, saying, "Yes, it's not intellectual writing, but I wanted to post it since it's my first review with homemade photography, which means another new years' resolution has been completed and my reviews are taken to the next level. I'm proud of where I'm going in my self-improvement."

Tony White presents Post 3: Repaying a Teacher: Peikoff’s Horizontal Additions to the Objectivist World View posted at Peripatetic Thoughts, saying, "A discussion of what I consider to be the four major new ideas, concepts, or perspectives that Leonard Peikoff added to Ayn Rand's world view."

C.W. presents Debt, Ceiling, and The Issue posted at Krazy Economy, saying, "My thoughts on the recent events on the debt, etc. Why all the fuss? What is the consequence of the downgrade. What good is this to us?"

C. August presents Christina Romer: Old Dog, Old Tricks posted at Titanic Deck Chairs, saying, "Christina Romer talks to Bill Maher about some regrets she has about her time in the administration. Think she's finally figured out Keynes wasn't all he's cracked up to be?"

David Masten presents What is the Essence of Being? posted at Blazing Truth, saying, "...exploring the experience of "spiritual feelings", and emotional convictions associated with mysticism. A brief analysis of Heidegger's Phenomenology, Pirsig's Metaphysics of Quality, and Wilber's Integral Theory."

Benjamin Skipper presents Don't Be So Depressing posted at Musing Aloud, saying, "Times are bad, but I view the worst thing to be how people are *unconstructively* negative about it. Resolve is important to keeping up the will to fight, and I view this kind of talk as very harmful.

Life is worth living and fighting for. Let's remember that, always."

Julia Campbell presents carnitas posted at the crankin' kitchen!, saying, "Crispy and moist chunks of pork. Drool."

John Drake presents Education bubble? I don't think so. posted at Try Reason!, saying, "Lately, a number of people have been claiming we are in an education bubble. While there is certainly a large expansion in college costs, this may not be indicative of a bubble. In this post, I explain why I think so."

Miranda Barzey presents Awesome Sauce Magazine posted at Building Atlantis, saying, "I'm starting a new project to help promote a youth culture in Objectivism and attract more young adults interested in rational ideas. Please check it out and spread the word. It's going to be amazing!"

Toby Selwyn presents The Beauty of Trade posted at One for One, saying, "Why "no man is an island" is not an argument against Objectivism."

Kelly Elmore presents When Effective Communication Fails posted at Reepicheep's Coracle, saying, "This post answers the question: What do I do when I try to use effective communication but the person I'm communicating with won't or can't? It's the first in a series of three posts that deal with the tool "Decide What You Will Do," which focuses on controlling yourself and knowing that you can't control others."

Benjamin Skipper presents My Next Major Endeavor: The Galt's Gulch Project posted at Musing Aloud, saying, "I've been thinking about what I'm going to do to survive a worsening economy, and I've not only come up with a practical solution, I've come up with an endeavor that's relevant and productive towards my ultimate happiness, dreams, and purpose in life. I may live in poverty, but if successful I'll be wealthy in spirit.

I call it the Galt's Gulch project because I noticed there are a lot of parallels between this endeavor and the valley of producers seen in Atlas Shrugged, despite my not intending for it or even thinking about it, so I cannot see any more fitting name than this.

It's going to be a small-scale and very private pursuit, but hey: Hardworking and hungry shruggers welcome."

Diana Hsieh presents NoodleCast #90: Live Rationally Selfish Webcast posted at NoodleFood, saying, "In Sunday's Rationally Selfish Webcast, I answered questions on introspection, JK Rowling's welfare payments, ignoring current news and politics, meeting estranged former friends, and more. Go listen... and join us on Sunday morning for another episode!"

Paul Hsieh presents Don’t Shoot the Downgrade Messenger posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "My latest PajamasMedia OpEd discusses the disturbing trend by the White House and its allies in Congress to "blame the messenger" for any politically awkward news."

Santiago and Kelly Valenzuela presents Farmers Rally to Fight Republican Immigration Bill posted at Mother of Exiles, saying, "Farmers rally together to fight a Republican immigration bill that is certain to push food costs even higher, if not leave produce rotting on the ground. And jobless native-born Americans don't want the job."

Santiago and Kelly Valenzuela presents Tanton-esque Cronies Come Out of the Woodwork posted at Mother of Exiles, saying, "Donald Arthur “D.A.” King is an activist and hateful racist making big moves in Georgia. Help us fight him!"

Jenn Casey and Kelly Elmore present Podcast #18: Living an Adult-Centered vs a Child-Centered Life at Cultivating the Virtues, saying "This is our latest podcast episode! Give it a listen, and please send us comments and questions!"

Gene Palmisano presents Misnomer of the Day posted at The Metaphysical Lunch, saying, "More insanity from the left. Visit me at The Anecdotal Objectivist"

Rob Abiera presents For the Tea Party posted at The Morality War, saying, "My statement regarding assertions that coverage of the Tea Party should be censored."

Jenn Casey presents Time Travel Tuesday: This will be Funny One Day, Right? RIGHT?!?!?!? at Rational Jenn, saying "Sometimes, it's laugh or cry, and it's much easier to laugh when I've handled a parenting situation according to my principles."

David C Lewis, RFA presents Money Market Accounts vs. Certificates of Deposit | Twin Tier Financial posted at A Revolution In Financial Planning, saying, "What's the difference between a bank CD and a money market account? I answer a question from cyberspace."

Atul Kapur presents Why I like Daphnis and Chloe posted at Wit Lab, saying, "Why Daphnis and Chloe by Louis Hersent is one of my favorite paintings: this was the topic of my recent guest-post at One Objectivist's Art Object of the Day."

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form. Parenting Is. . . will be next week's host.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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Time Travel Tuesday: This will be Funny One Day, Right? RIGHT?!??!

2011-08-09T14:40:00.000-04:00

Today I'm going to share one of my favorite parenting WINS, for no other reason than I happened to remember this incident earlier today.

Hmmm. . . it only occurs to me just now that the biggest wins must necessarily be borne out of complete and utter disaster. Good thing to keep in mind.

So one of the things we did while Brendan's family was in town was paint Morgan's room pink! She's been making do with the old green walls of the nursery, and the zoo animal wallpaper border, and a mish-mash of furniture new and old. (Sean's room will be our current guest room, so he's not in the old nursery.)

Tuesday was wet and rainy, our family brought old clothes and so we got a nice shade of pink paint from Home Depot and went to work! It's very pretty and I plan to touch up tonight.

So anyway, the kids were upstairs and quiet this afternoon--too quiet. I called up, "Whatcha doing?" Both of them, "Nothing!"

Suspicious, I headed upstairs with the baby. Ryan, obviously anticipating the next scene, tells me, "Morgan's painting her carpet." and skedaddled.

W. T. F.

Read the whole sordid tale here.

This was a major win for me because I did NOT scream at them, though how I longed to. I managed to get my feelings (shock and horror) across in an appropriate way. Here's the thing: they still got the message even though I didn't shout! Imagine that!

Another aspect of the win was giving Ryan another chance to tell the truth. I may have used a bit of the Mommy Jedi Mind Trick, too. Have you used that? It's just "I don't think you're telling me the truth." and then sit back and quietly look at them for a very. long. time. I've got about an 85% success rate on that with Ryan. With M, it only works about half the time (she is a very good and remorseless liar). Haven't tried it on Sean just yet.

So hooray for parenting wins and finding the funny! And yes, it's funnier today than it was a couple of years ago. But I'm still never letting them around opened cans of latex paint ever ever again. :D

Podcast #18: Living an "Adult-Centered" vs a "Child-Centered" Life

2011-08-08T21:29:00.000-04:00

Look at that! Three weeks, three podcasts, woohoo!

Situation of the Week (Jenn): "If I scream, he wins." (It'll make sense when you listen!)

Topic: Living an "Adult-Centered" vs a "Child-Centered" Life (begins 8:48)

Link: "Child Friendly without being Child Centered" at Reepicheep's Coracle (Kelly's blog)

Q & A: How do you handle a parenting mistake when you realize you were unfair, but your child communicated his displeasure in an unacceptable manner (such as hitting or yelling)? (begins 27:38)

Link: "Parenting Toolbox: 3 Rs of Recovery" at Reepicheep's Coracle

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Found On Morgan's Video Camera

2011-08-05T15:09:00.000-04:00

I think Morgan was a little envious of the THRILLING SUCCESS of Ryan's interview with Sean, which I believe may become a regular feature he's entitled Sean Talk.

So, naturally, she made her own interview and was ever so happy when I told her I'd post it to my blog! She calls this Sean Talk: The Next Generation (and I am not making that up).

Yes, Sean is a kitty throughout most of the interview. I don't know why.

My favorite part is the astronaut interlude. And the big Pouty Lip at the end (one of Sean's trademarks). I'm so glad we have a nice video of that Pouty Lip, aren't you?

Thanks, Morgan for this interview!

Found On My Video Camera

2011-08-05T09:34:00.000-04:00

So I knew that Ryan borrowed my Flip Cam yesterday (why he was using mine and not his, still not clear on that). And this morning I found this video:

Had no idea that was on there! (It's really shaky at first, but he chills out a bit after the first 10 seconds or so.)

You can tell that Sean is slightly obsessed with space and Mars and Neptune. And the best part is his answer to the question about how many people can fly on his space shuttle. The second best part is the sing-songy voice Ryan used to interview Sean.

Oh how I love it when they are getting along with each other!

Time Travel Tuesday: Discipline without Punishment

2011-08-02T11:39:00.001-04:00

This week's Time Travel Tuesday post is an oldie, but a longie: Discipline without Punishment. It's one of the posts where I tried to lay out a case for non-punitive discipline which is based on my principles as an Objectivist. There are lots of examples, and includes the Ambassador Analogy (which is not something I made up). I get the most hits on this post from Google searches. By far.

The reason I wrote this post--and the other parenting posts I've done--and the reason I do the podcasts with Kelly and teach classes, too--is because I aim to challenge the premise that children must have something unpleasant done to them when they misbehave in order to help them "get" the lesson that they've done wrong.

From the original post:

I should define what I mean when I say "punishment." I'm talking about an arbitrary, adult-imposed sanction upon a child for a specific transgression. If you run out into the street, I'll smack your bottom. If you scream at me, I'll make you sit in the Time Out Chair. If you throw a toy, I'll smack your hand. If you hit me, I'll hit you. If you break something precious of mine, I'll send you to your room. If you speak rudely to me, I'll withhold love, affection, or television privileges. If you lie to me, I'll ground you. In other words, punishment is something negative I'll do TO you in order to let you know you did something wrong (or something I don't like).

Punishment is a "something else" done to the child when he misbehaves. Specifically, it's a negative "something else." (Reward systems, which I consider the flip-side of punishment, are positive "something elses." But that's another post.)

I think most of us assume that of course you must punish! How else will the kid understand? I wrote a bit about my own struggles with this notion in the original post. This wasn't immediately obvious to me when I was first reading about Positive Discipline. I could not understand it. Accepting this premise required a paradigm shift for me, and it was not immediately apparent that I should, you know, shift that paradigm.

If you do think punishment is necessary, then I challenge you to examine that premise. (And if you'd care to challenge ME in the comments, then by all means, please do! I definitely love discussing this issue, even with people who disagree with me. As long as we can all behave.)

Why is imposing a punishment on a child necessary when he has done wrong? Is it to make him feel remorse? Is it to make him learn a lesson? Is it because he's not actually rational yet and must be treated the way we treat the smarter of the dumb animals? Is it strictly a behaviorism negative reinforcement thing? Are you worried he won't learn how to behave unless he is punished? Why? What might happen if he must accept the consequences of his actions, but without the (negative) "something else?"

Another question I am asked is--well, if you don't punish, then what do you DO? They'll get away with murder! It'll be chaos! Nobody will respect the adult! [Answer: Positive Discipline!] This question exposes another underlying assumption--that not punishing means not setting any limits; that not punishing means protecting children from unpleasant consequences of their own making.

We do not punish, but limits are set around here. They are enforced. But that is where I stop. I do not add another layer of punishment on to what happens.

If you lie, you lose my trust. I will have a hard time believing anything you say for along while. You will experience what it feels like to have people doubt your word when you ARE telling the truth. But you are not hit, or sent to your room.

If you make a huge mess, you clean it up. But you do not sit in Time Out for 10 minutes to "think" about what you did.

If you smack somebody upside the head, you experience all kinds of consequences like losing the person's trust, getting to watch them cry about what you did to them, knowing Mom is upset with you, having to stay away from the person you hit so that their body will be protected, maybe having Mom's help in holding your arms down until you are back in control of your own body, needing to make amends and try to right your wrong. But you are not hit by me (the most ironic reason to spank ANYONE ever) in order to learn not to hit. You are not required to sit in your room for a Mom-determined amount of time. You do not lose your allowance for the week.

The original post long, but if you are interested in why we don't use punishment (EVER! Not even with very small toddler people!), I think this post is worth a read. I'll quote my conclusion here:

The best thing about positive discipline techniques is that they are very compatible with my principles. When I am guiding my children through a situation, I am focused on reality; I'm thinking about ideas that are important to me; I'm treating my children as individuals; I'm making sure they treat me and others as individuals with rights; I'm protecting them from catastrophic harm; I'm staying out of the way of them experiencing the consequences of their actions; I'm ensuring that they are thinking about things for themselves instead of accepting an argument from authority (me).

PD tools reinforce the virtues which I try to exercise on a daily basis for my own happiness. When I slip back into JJ&E [Judge, Jury, & Executioner] mode (and I do), I'm not a happy mommy. I don't like thinking up punishments and enforcing them; I'd rather enforce the rational rule. I don't like implicitly asking my kids to do something merely because I want them to do it; I like them understanding that it's important to do something because it's right to do it (even if they don't like it in the moment).

In the words of Aristotle: we are what we repeatedly do; excellence is not an act, but a habit. With rational, reality-based limits, kids will get experience making good and bad choices, and lots of practice in how to navigate the local customs. I think they'll enter adulthood with experience and skills in their own toolboxes to help them be happy, productive adults.

Read the whole post here. I'd love your comments!

CtV Podcast #17: Brainstorming a Parenting Problem

2011-08-01T14:45:00.002-04:00

Yay! Another episode! Please forgive the buzzing in the background; we're trying to figure it out.

Situation of the Week: Handling problems among children when some of the children are ignoring another

Topic: Brainstorming Parenting Problems--Kelly and Jenn discuss a problem that Kelly is having and come up with some solutions together (begins 6:01)

Q & A: What should you do when other people try to force their kids to share or give stuff to your kids? (begins 21:11)

We hope you enjoy this episode!

You can listen here, or download from our podcast site.

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